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Suzanne Venker
Author and Relationship Coach
When it comes to the balancing act, women are failing. That’s the message of this week’s edition of 60 Minutes Australia, a segment about the life of the 21st century wife and mother, who’s realizing what I’ve been preaching for two decades: Yes, women can ‘have it all.’ But not all at once. The subject …
*VIDEO BELOW* It’s HERE! How to Get Hitched (and Stay Hitched): A 12-Step Program for Marriage-Minded Women has officially on the market! (Aug 31, 2021) You can now purchase a copy for yourself or for your adult daughter or for any single woman you know! ~ To the casual observer, marriage in America may appear …
How are men and women supposed to relate to each other in today’s culture? Despite societal questions concerning gender and masculine/feminine roles, most women still hope for marriage and motherhood sometime in their lives. But too many of them follow the cultural narrative that tells them to put off marriage until they've achieved career success. …
So my 22-year-old daughter, who graduates from college next month, recently received a wedding invitation from her freshman year roommate. At their university, like many others in the South, finding one’s spouse via fraternities and sororities isn’t that uncommon. Needless to say, my own college experience was decidedly different in that I graduated from a …
Never in the history of time have women been more lost when it comes to love. Raised to rule the world, rather than to become wives, women are shooting blanks when it comes to men and marriage. That so many women (and for that matter, men) are products of divorce doesn’t help matters. Neither does growing …
In the 2010 film Leap Year, the main character Anna (played by Amy Adams) is the quintessential modern woman: career focused and take charge. Toward the end of the film, Declan, her love interest, says to Anna, “Why don’t you stop trying to control everything in the known universe? It’s dinner. Have a little faith …
Only about a quarter of millennials are currently married. Ergo, it may seem that marriage is on the way out. But is it? According to Jeffrey M. Jones at Gallup, “The desire of those who have never been married to get married someday remains high, with more than eight in 10 singles hoping to marry.” Problem …
Remember that iconic scene in The Help, when Abilene confronts that nasty Miss Hilly and says to her, “Ain’t you tired, Miss Hilly?” I think of that scene a lot when it comes to modern women—not with respect to the nastiness part but with the other part. I want to say to women, “Ain’t you tired?” Tired of …
*This post is in response to last week’s article in the feminist publication Jezebel, entitled “Here Are Some Good Reasons to Divorce Your Husband This Fall.”* Let’s begin with the first thought that popped into my head when I read the title: There would never in a million years be an article entitled “Here Are …
Hey Friend! I know you may be thinking: How is my daughter ever going to find a man who’s as smart and as capable as she is? How is my son going to find a girl who’s worthy of him? Are my adult children ever going to get married and have kids? Well, you’re certainly not going …
Some time ago, a friend of mine told me about a woman she knows who was dating a man who earned considerably less than she did. To preserve his manhood, when they went out for dinner she would hand this man her debit card under the table so he could “pay” the bill. In what …
NOTE: The title of this post is clickbait because I believe it’s critical for people to read. Someone who earns less than someone else or who doesn’t have a college degree is not “below” anyone. He or she simply took a different path, often a better one. Just wanted to make that clear first. ~ …
Hello Suzanne, I just wanted to thank you for the work that you do. Here is a little testimony on why I’m glad I found your content: I was born and raised in an African country. I had a good childhood and moved to the West when I was about 9 years old. I was …
I had a conversation with my daughter about dating back when she was 18, whereupon I (sadly) learned that she was uncomfortable with the expectation that a man should pay on a date. Whaaat? I asked. That’s what men are supposed to do! I know, she said, but you don’t understand how things are today, Mom. …
Did you know that just being nice to your husband can save your marriage? It’s true. And yet the number of women who’ve been groomed to think being nice to their husbands is beneath them is off the charts. (Thanks, feminism.) Women who win at love reject this bogus narrative because they love and understand, rather …
If I had a dime for every breadwinning wife and mother I’ve heard from who’s angry and resentful for having to keep the family afloat financially and who wishes she and her husband hadn’t reversed roles, I’d be rich. Yes, some wives are content in this role. But they’re the exception, not the rule. It …
I had a coaching session the other day with a young woman who’s not engaged but who’s wisely assessing whether or not to continue a relationship with her boyfriend. Apparently this young man is very good to her and loves her very much, but she has legitimate concerns about whether or not their relationship will …
In her excellent book, What Our Mothers Didn’t Tell Us, Danielle Crittenden writes this about feminism’s effect on American women: “It had seeped into their minds like intravenous saline into the arm of an unconscious patient. They were feminists without knowing it.” I first read those words almost twenty years ago, and I’ve thought of …
I received an email recently from a wife and mother named Aimee, who has a Ph.D. and was, until recently, her family’s primary breadwinner. When she was laid off, things turned ugly. “I became resentful because my husband didn’t have the same drive and motivation I did to succeed. As such, I’m now separated with …
Are you super busy, always trying to get something accomplished? In “The Hidden Trauma of Overachievement,” Amanda Westland explains that overachievement is a survival instinct resulting from unresolved childhood wounds that leads many people to associate their value with how productive they are. It’s a flight response that causes some folks to stay perpetually busy …
It was a jarring transition, going from reading about women who choose to be single and childless and then celebrate it (as opposed to quietly living an unconventional life) to reading Chapter X of Jordan Peterson’s new book, Beyond Order. In the former—such as here and here and here and here—the focus is on the …
In her 2000 book Ten Things I Wished I’d Known—Before I Went Out into the Real World, Maria Shriver wrote the following: “Even though you think your career is your life and your identity, it’s not and it shouldn’t be.” I used that citation in the first book I ever wrote to drive home the …
COVID-19 changed everything, and the lifestyle of today’s mothers was no exception. Over two million women left the workforce in 2020, in large part due to the demands of caring for their children while working full-time. Our current administration considers this a tragedy that must be remedied. But what if it’s a blessing in disguise? …
What if the secret to staying married is simply choosing to do so? This mental thought process is much more powerful than it seems. For one thing, the decision to never get divorced leaves all the room in the world for the marriage to improve over time, which it typically does. One study by the Institute …
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