Suzanne Venker
Author and Relationship Coach
In the 2010 film Leap Year, the main character Anna (played by Amy Adams) is the quintessential modern woman: career focused and take charge. Toward the end of the film, Declan, her love interest, says to Anna, “Why don’t you stop trying to control everything in the known universe? It’s dinner. Have a little faith …
When it comes to the balancing act, women are failing. That’s the message of this week’s edition of 60 Minutes Australia, a segment about the life of the 21st century wife and mother, who’s realizing what I’ve been preaching for two decades: Yes, women can ‘have it all.’ But not all at once. The subject …
Some time ago, a friend of mine told me about a woman she knows who was dating a man who earned considerably less than she did. To preserve his manhood, when they went out for dinner she would hand this man her debit card under the table so he could “pay” the bill. In what …
If I had a dime for every breadwinning wife and mother I’ve heard from who’s angry and resentful for having to keep the family afloat financially and who wishes she and her husband hadn’t reversed roles, I’d be rich. Yes, some wives are content in this role. But they’re the exception, not the rule. It …
It’s one of the most taboo topics on the planet: what happens when wives earn more. The following podcast is an in-depth look at what happened when one wife’s side hustle exploded and created a rift in her marriage, causing resentment and frustration that led to an eventual separation. When Lauren Taylor, who’s from South …
In the film Leap Year, the main character Anna (played by Amy Adams) is a complete control freak. Toward the end of the film, Declan, Anna’s love interest, says to her, “Why don’t you stop trying to control everything in the known universe? It’s dinner. Have a little faith that it will all work out.” …
The following article was originally published at The Federalist. Twenty years ago, I wrote my first book about why women can’t “have it all,” or at least all at once, despite what the culture tells them. At the time, the so-called Mommy Wars were raging. Women everywhere who’d been sold a bill of goods by …
This article was originally published at the Washington Examiner. Last week, Fox Nation’s Tomi Lahren proved in spades with her “PSA for Boyish Men” why my coaching business is booming. Millennial women may be ’rockin in the marketplace, but they’re shooting blanks when it comes to love. They have no clue how to attract and …
So my daughter is a Two. Known as the Helper, this Enneagram personality profile lends itself well to marriage. She couldn’t care less about being right; she has no desire to compete with anyone; and she’s naturally soft, patient, and kind. She’ll make some lucky man a fabulous wife. I’m not suggesting my daughter is …
This article was originally published at the Washington Examiner. In the last week alone, I’ve spoken with three millennial women (who reached out for coaching) who are all in the same boat: they’re up to their eyeballs in debt, having gotten degree upon degree due to the pressure they felt from their parents and the culture …
Dear Husband, You may or many not know that the majority of my time is spent helping women be successful in love. That’s because I firmly believe women are the relationship navigators and thus have the ability to steer the marriage ship in the direction they want it to go. Once they embrace their femininity, …
In my last post, I wrote about 7 ways men can unleash their masculine core. I wrote it because the relationship between women and men is dying as a result of a complete sex role reversal—in which women have become more like men, and men have become more like women. The result is that both …
I don’t know about you, but I used to never collect my thoughts. Rather, I shared them. If I didn’t like something, I’d say so. If I felt frustrated or tired, I’d announce it. If I had an opinion (and I almost always have an opinion), I’d share it. Basically, every thought and feeling I …
Listen, Gentlemen, we need to talk. First of all, obviously as a woman I can’t relate to what it’s like to be a man in the modern world. But I can see, very clearly, what’s happening in modern marriage and relationships—and it’s not pretty. In fact, it’s a downright disaster. I know you want a …
This article was originally published at the Washington Examiner. I gave an interview the other day about the new FX/Hulu series, Mrs. America, the fictional account of the 1970s fight between feminists and my aunt, Phyllis Schlafly, over the Equal Rights Amendment. Feminists wanted it passed; Phyllis and her supporters didn’t. (If you’re interested, here’s the behind-the-scenes true …
Are you one of those wives? You know which kind I mean: the kind who nags her husband (i.e. pleads, cajoles, yells, etc.) to try and get him to do something. I know, I know: How else will anything get done if you don’t nag? I get it. But I have one question. How’s that workin for ya? The problem …
This article was originally published at the Washington Examiner. I feel bad for women with really big jobs who make a boatload of money. Somewhere along the line, they got the message (from their mothers, from the culture, etc.) that a high-paying career should be their life’s goal. As a result, from the time these …
A similar version of this article was published at the Washington Examiner. I have a proudly progressive male friend who married a feminist some years ago who asked him to take her name. They didn’t end up going that route, but my friend seriously considered it. I thought of him when I read this recent …
There was a time, not long ago, when few woman would consider marrying a man who lacked ambition. Not the kind of unbridled ambition that fosters deep pockets—the kind that propels a man to push forward for the sake of his family, as well as for his own mental health. Men need work in a …
This article was originally published at the Washington Examiner. Dolly Parton is a kindred spirit. I just love that woman. Apparently everyone else does, too. A new podcast about Parton’s life, produced by NPR and entitled Dolly Parton’s America, premiered last month and will feature nine episodes that help explain why Dolly Parton, in this “intensely …
About a week ago The Federalist published an article of mine in which I list 8 dating rules for women that lead to marriage. Here they are, in no particular order: 1. Let him chase you. 2. Don’t offer to pay. 3. Never have more than two drinks. 4. Don’t be the giddy girl in …
This article was originally published at the Washington Examiner. Last week, Gerard Baker, editor at large for The Wall Street Journal, committed the unpardonable sin of writing an uncomfortable truth: that women outpacing men in the educational sphere may have positive economic consequences, but it comes at a price. “In the much larger game of life, love and …
One of America’s most recognizable board games, Monopoly, has created a new version celebrating girl power. In Ms. Monopoly, female players start with $1,900, compared to $1500 for each male player. And when girls pass ‘Go,’ they don’t get the standard $200. They get $240. So, just to get this straight: In Hasbro’s lame attempt to …
This article was originally published at Washington Examiner. Millions of single women in America today cannot for the life of them find a “suitable” husband. That’s according to a new study from researchers at Cornell University, who examined data on actual recent marriages and found women’s ideal husband has an average income about 58% higher than the actual unmarried …
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