Suzanne Venker
Author and Relationship Coach
We hear plenty in America about whether or not a man is “marriage material.” But no one ever asks what makes a woman marriage material. Seems to me that’s the more pertinent question since women are the ones who bow out of marriage the most. Indeed, the overwhelming majority of divorce is filed by wives …
Dear Men, Believe me, I know how confusing it is to be a man in 2022, and I suspect it’s twice as hard to understand what it is, exactly, that women want. For decades, women have been clamoring for “equality,” which as far as you can tell means they want to live traditionally male lives …
The average woman in the West today has been raised to believe she should “never depend on a man.” Sadly, this goes way beyond finances and ultimately shatters the trust that’s required to build a relationship that lasts. She usually internalized this for one of the following reasons: She was a product of divorce and …
A new study of 5,000 single Americans age 18 and older who aren’t in a committed relationship has found that nearly three-quarters of the participants say they want to find a spouse. These “post-pandemic singles” are now dating more deliberately. The question is, do they know how to date deliberately? Or more specifically, do women? …
According to a new article from the BBC (and it isn’t the first on this subject), more and more millennials around the world are in sexless marriages. The question is why. As is often the case the case, the answers are varied. But at the core of it lies an overarching theme. Millennials are facing …
“I can’t win with my wife.” “I’ve tried everything to make my wife happy, and nothing works.” “I feel like my wife has sex just to appease me.” Do any of these sound familiar? If so, you’re likely a great husband and father but a frustrated man whose marriage has lost its luster. Maybe you …
Don’t marry the first person you fall in love with. The more relationship experience you have before getting married, the better. That way you’ll know yourself better when you say, ‘I do.’ For decades this has been the relationship narrative passed on to the young and unattached. But my experience as a relationship coach suggests …
In the 2010 film Leap Year, the main character Anna (played by Amy Adams) is the quintessential modern woman: career focused and take charge. Toward the end of the film, Declan, her love interest, says to Anna, “Why don’t you stop trying to control everything in the known universe? It’s dinner. Have a little faith …
Only about a quarter of millennials are currently married. Ergo, it may seem that marriage is on the way out. But is it? According to Jeffrey M. Jones at Gallup, “The desire of those who have never been married to get married someday remains high, with more than eight in 10 singles hoping to marry.” Problem …
When it comes to the balancing act, women are failing. That’s the message of this week’s edition of 60 Minutes Australia, a segment about the life of the 21st century wife and mother, who’s realizing what I’ve been preaching for two decades: Yes, women can ‘have it all.’ But not all at once. The subject …
Some time ago, a friend of mine told me about a woman she knows who was dating a man who earned considerably less than she did. To preserve his manhood, when they went out for dinner she would hand this man her debit card under the table so he could “pay” the bill. In what …
*VIDEO BELOW* It’s HERE! How to Get Hitched (and Stay Hitched): A 12-Step Program for Marriage-Minded Women has officially on the market! (Aug 31, 2021) You can now purchase a copy for yourself or for your adult daughter or for any single woman you know! ~ To the casual observer, marriage in America may appear …
NOTE: The title of this post is clickbait because I believe it’s critical for people to read. Someone who earns less than someone else or who doesn’t have a college degree is not “below” anyone. He or she simply took a different path, often a better one. Just wanted to make that clear first. ~ …
Hello Suzanne, I just wanted to thank you for the work that you do. Here is a little testimony on why I’m glad I found your content: I was born and raised in an African country. I had a good childhood and moved to the West when I was about 9 years old. I was …
I had a conversation with my daughter recently, where I (sadly) learned that she’s uncomfortable with the expectation that a man should pay on a date. Whaaat? I asked. That’s what men are supposed to do! I know, she said, but you don’t understand how things are today, Mom. It just feels wrong to expect the guy …
How are men and women supposed to relate to each other in today’s culture? Despite societal questions concerning gender and masculine/feminine roles, most women still hope for marriage and motherhood sometime in their lives. But too many of them follow the cultural narrative that tells them to put off marriage until they've achieved career success. …
In her 2000 book Ten Things I Wished I’d Known—Before I Went Out into the Real World, Maria Shriver wrote the following: “Even though you think your career is your life and your identity, it’s not and it shouldn’t be.” I used that citation in the first book I ever wrote to drive home the …
What if you could be satisfied with what you have and never again wonder what else is ‘out there’? What if your love life were 100% aligned with your expectations? Unfortunately, we live in a culture that encourages people to search for something better when they’re dissatisfied with their marriage or relationship. This is especially …
This article was originally published at Evie Magazine. When I was 23, I married my college sweetheart. We’d been together since freshman year, although he was two years older than I was and as a result had been out in the real world for two years before I graduated. But he was only three hours …
“I did things backward. I started my career first, and marriage came much later.” Those are the words of my then 36-year-old mother in a 1966 article in The St. Louis Post Dispatch about her career as a stockbroker. After graduating from Washington University in St. Louis, where she was born in 1930, my mother got …
Dear Suzanne, I’m 29 and don’t feel anywhere close to marriage. Part of my frustration comes from the fact that for a large part of my 20s I haven’t been prioritizing the pursuit of romantic relationships at all, and I’m regretting it now, as I have been feeling more and more over the past few …
This past week I discovered entrepreneur Rebecca Lynn Pope who has a You Tube channel called “Life with the Popes TV.” Her most popular post (over a million views) is about modern women’s high expectations, a topic I’ve covered at length in my own work. (Not long ago I posted this on Facebook, and, unsurprisingly …
The following article was originally published at The Federalist. Twenty years ago, I wrote my first book about why women can’t “have it all,” or at least all at once, despite what the culture tells them. At the time, the so-called Mommy Wars were raging. Women everywhere who’d been sold a bill of goods by …
The first indication you’re talking to a married member of the modern generation is when the wife or husband says, “We’re pregnant.” Couples in the past would never dream of saying something so silly—because men do not get pregnant. But to the modern generation, there are no distinctions between women and men. They are one …
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