Suzanne Venker
Author and Relationship Coach
There isn’t a married couple on the planet who doesn’t have to deal with money—and for many couples, it’s a major source of conflict. Indeed, money is the #1 cause of divorce and marital strife. But money isn’t really the problem. The problem is all the emotions that surround it. Each of us bring a …
Don’t marry the first person you fall in love with. The more relationship experience you have before getting married, the better. That way you’ll know yourself better when you say, ‘I do.’ For decades this has been the relationship narrative passed on to the young and unattached. But my experience as a relationship coach suggests …
No woman is able to return to life as she knew it pre-baby. ~ So I had an interview scheduled with London author Louise Perry, whose new book, The Case Against the Sexual Revolution, was just released this week (although it’s been available in the UK for several months). Perry, who’s thirty years old, married, …
So my 22-year-old daughter, who graduates from college next month, recently received a wedding invitation from her freshman year roommate. At their university, like many others in the South, finding one’s spouse via fraternities and sororities isn’t that uncommon. Needless to say, my own college experience was decidedly different in that I graduated from a …
Referring to an article in the Wall Street Journal entitled “Women Still Do More of the Housework. Here’s How to Share the Load,” Suzanne discusses why the mental load of motherhood is not a social construct but a matter of sheer biology. IN THIS EPISODE: 3:50 The “50/50” marriage does not take …
In the 2010 film Leap Year, the main character Anna (played by Amy Adams) is the quintessential modern woman: career focused and take charge. Toward the end of the film, Declan, her love interest, says to Anna, “Why don’t you stop trying to control everything in the known universe? It’s dinner. Have a little faith …
*This post is in response to last week’s article in the feminist publication Jezebel, entitled “Here Are Some Good Reasons to Divorce Your Husband This Fall.”* Let’s begin with the first thought that popped into my head when I read the title: There would never in a million years be an article entitled “Here Are …
When it comes to the balancing act, women are failing. That’s the message of this week’s edition of 60 Minutes Australia, a segment about the life of the 21st century wife and mother, who’s realizing what I’ve been preaching for two decades: Yes, women can ‘have it all.’ But not all at once. The subject …
Some time ago, a friend of mine told me about a woman she knows who was dating a man who earned considerably less than she did. To preserve his manhood, when they went out for dinner she would hand this man her debit card under the table so he could “pay” the bill. In what …
*VIDEO BELOW* It’s HERE! How to Get Hitched (and Stay Hitched): A 12-Step Program for Marriage-Minded Women has officially on the market! (Aug 31, 2021) You can now purchase a copy for yourself or for your adult daughter or for any single woman you know! ~ To the casual observer, marriage in America may appear …
NOTE: The title of this post is clickbait because I believe it’s critical for people to read. Someone who earns less than someone else or who doesn’t have a college degree is not “below” anyone. He or she simply took a different path, often a better one. Just wanted to make that clear first. ~ …
Hello Suzanne, I just wanted to thank you for the work that you do. Here is a little testimony on why I’m glad I found your content: I was born and raised in an African country. I had a good childhood and moved to the West when I was about 9 years old. I was …
How are men and women supposed to relate to each other in today’s culture? Despite societal questions concerning gender and masculine/feminine roles, most women still hope for marriage and motherhood sometime in their lives. But too many of them follow the cultural narrative that tells them to put off marriage until they've achieved career success. …
Did you know that just being nice to your husband can save your marriage? It’s true. And yet the number of women who’ve been groomed to think being nice to their husbands is beneath them is off the charts. (Thanks, feminism.) Women who win at love reject this bogus narrative because they love and understand, rather …
I had a coaching session the other day with a young woman who’s not engaged but who’s wisely assessing whether or not to continue a relationship with her boyfriend. Apparently this young man is very good to her and loves her very much, but she has legitimate concerns about whether or not their relationship will …
I received an email recently from a wife and mother named Aimee, who has a Ph.D. and was, until recently, her family’s primary breadwinner. When she was laid off, things turned ugly. “I became resentful because my husband didn’t have the same drive and motivation I did to succeed. As such, I’m now separated with …
It was a jarring transition, going from reading about women who choose to be single and childless and then celebrate it (as opposed to quietly living an unconventional life) to reading Chapter X of Jordan Peterson’s new book, Beyond Order. In the former—such as here and here and here and here—the focus is on the …
In her 2000 book Ten Things I Wished I’d Known—Before I Went Out into the Real World, Maria Shriver wrote the following: “Even though you think your career is your life and your identity, it’s not and it shouldn’t be.” I used that citation in the first book I ever wrote to drive home the …
COVID-19 changed everything, and the lifestyle of today’s mothers was no exception. Over two million women left the workforce in 2020, in large part due to the demands of caring for their children while working full-time. Our current administration considers this a tragedy that must be remedied. But what if it’s a blessing in disguise? …
What if the secret to staying married is simply choosing to do so? This mental thought process is much more powerful than it seems. For one thing, the decision to never get divorced leaves all the room in the world for the marriage to improve over time, which it typically does. One study by the Institute …
What if you could be satisfied with what you have and never again wonder what else is ‘out there’? What if your love life were 100% aligned with your expectations? Unfortunately, we live in a culture that encourages people to search for something better when they’re dissatisfied with their marriage or relationship. This is especially …
This article was originally published at Evie Magazine. When I was 23, I married my college sweetheart. We’d been together since freshman year, although he was two years older than I was and as a result had been out in the real world for two years before I graduated. But he was only three hours …
It’s one of the most taboo topics on the planet: what happens when wives earn more. The following podcast is an in-depth look at what happened when one wife’s side hustle exploded and created a rift in her marriage, causing resentment and frustration that led to an eventual separation. When Lauren Taylor, who’s from South …
“I did things backward. I started my career first, and marriage came much later.” Those are the words of my then 36-year-old mother in a 1966 article in The St. Louis Post Dispatch about her career as a stockbroker. After graduating from Washington University in St. Louis, where she was born in 1930, my mother got …
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