America Could Use a Lot More Dr. Lauras

Twenty years ago I got a bee in my bonnet and wrote a book about the needs of children and the significance of parents meeting those needs. I was home with my children at the time, and the Mommy Wars were raging. I was tired of listening to all the propaganda about why it makes no difference whether mothers raise their own babies or not because daycare will do just fine.

So I did what anyone would do: I wrote a book about why that isn’t true. And Dr. Laura Schlessinger was kind enough to write the forward.

As it happens, Dr. Laura and I have stayed in touch over the years—I’ll be attending her 72nd birthday party in January, which I’m very excited about because it involves dancing to music like this—and I’ve listened to her program, which can now be found on Sirius radio 111, for years.

Several weeks ago, Dr. Laura was inducted into the National Radio Hall of Fame for, I presume, having had one of the longest running and most popular radio programs in history.

Dr. Laura’s longevity and steadfast commitment to marriage and family, which is the focus of her work and her program, is remarkable. I’ll probably peter out long before she does. She’ll still be doing her radio show at 100 while I’m crouched over a card table at a nursing home having given up the fight.

But I digress. The reason for this post is simply to say this:

America could use a lot more Dr. Lauras.

We live in a very difficult and sad time. Difficult because people are no longer free to speak the truth without being labeled racist, sexist and all the rest. And sad because our values and priorities are completely out of whack.

That’s where Dr. Laura comes in. There are very few people in power—Can you even name one?—who have the courage, the chutzpah and the moral fortitude to encourage people to “do the right thing.” (That’s the slogan of her program.) There are very few people in power who will say, without backing down later, what needs to said about men and women, sex and love, children and families. Things that are profoundly true but considered blasphemous to admit, such as:

  1. Children’s needs come before adult desires. Yes, that may mean staying married for the kids’ sake if neither partner is in harm’s way. It also means one parent should stay home.
  2. Men are simple: they need respect, affection and food. Women are much more complicated. And difficult.
  3. A woman’s femininity is her greatest power.
  4. Shacking up is just stupid.

I’ve listened to Dr. Laura long enough, and earnestly enough, to say most marriages could be saved if couples fired their marriage counselors and listened to Dr. Laura instead. It’s cheaper, for one thing—and the results are quicker. If you can’t listen to Dr. Laura’s program during the day, you can always tune in to the podcast and listen at your convenience.

If that’s not your cup of tea, you can buy any one of her books—The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands is particularly helpful, although I really shouldn’t tout that book since its overall message is so similar to The Alpha Female’s Guide. But what the hell—her title is better.

And if none of that floats your boat, just listen to this 5-minute clip of Dr. Laura talking to Larry King about men and marriage, and those of you who know my work will understand why I feel the way I do about her. We just speak the same language.

More than any of that, though, there is this:

This country is drowning in broken women and men who have zero understanding of how love works.

Women in particular have been raised on a steady diet of feminist propaganda that teaches them to be resentful of being women, that in order to be worthy they need to think and act like a man.

It was the single worst advice of the century.

Dr. Laura gets a lot of flak (as do I) because she tailors her message to women. Well, she has to. It is women, not men, who’ve been conditioned to believe that being a wife and mother is akin to slavery and that men are natural-born oppressors. This narrative has been shockingly effective.

And all we have on the other side is one petite, feisty, formidable woman trying to get women and families back on track. The number of people Laura Schlessinger has helped in forty years is staggering.

Just imagine what we could do if we cloned her.

Suzanne Venker

Suzanne Venker is an author, speaker and cultural critic known as “The Feminist Fixer.” She has authored several books to help women win with men in life and in love. Her most recent, The Alpha Female’s Guide to Men & Marriage, was published in February 2017.

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Comments

  1. Many years ago I opened a Christmas gift from my husband. It was a book titled, “The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands” by Dr. Laura Schlessinger. The mere unwrapping of this book was so impactful that I actually remember where I was sitting in our family room when I opened it. I looked at my husband and said, “Is this a joke?” Needless to say it sat for quite a while before I picked it up to see what lie within its pages. Good grief, Dr. Laura was describing me … talk about convicting. Apparently unbeknownst to me, my husband had been listening to her program on the radio and felt that I could use a little guidance. Five years ago I felt compelled to write about receiving this book (https://midlifemelancholy.wordpress.com/2014/01/26/what-do-you-mean-there-cant-be-two-chiefs/) because I wanted to share with those who may have been struggling with the issues she describes in this book, in particular those newly married or those who were maybe 10-15 or so years in. Four kids later and coming up on 30 years of marriage, this book that I originally thought was a joke, really helped me to see how my behavior was not at all helpful to our marriage. I think I connect with Dr. Laura and you, because you are both pretty black and white as well as blunt, which is how I can be most of the time. Painful to hear sometimes, but I got the message loud and clear! Thank you both for being women of courage and speaking the truth.

  2. Great article, I love Dr. Laura. Early on in our marriage she helped me on my road to becoming the wife I’m proud to be today!

    (I tried to click on the link to the interview with Larry King and it looks like the video has been removed) FYI

  3. Very well said. I’ve wondered what we’re going to do without her someday. We need more women teaching younger women the keys to a good and happy life.

    Anyway, as a guy it’s lunchtime and my sweet wife is making it for me. We men need to choose wisely.

  4. Thanks!

    I once wrote a blog entry titled “Where’s the Civility for Dr. Laura?” If I recall correctly, she read (at least part of) it on the air. It was at a time when people were calling for civility in the public square. How quaint!

    She has a great show, has written great books, and has helped a lot of people.

  5. I went to spend a weekend with my newly, college grad, daughter (Phych &Child Development).
    She moved into a home shared by 4 other young working women. I was helping her hang pictures, organize her furniture etc.
    I spent the night.
    Early next morning I hear a young child screaming, sobbing, crying.
    Apparently my daughters home is backed up to an “Early Development Center”
    This went on for at least 2 hours if not longer. I could hear all the children playing, I could hear adult conversations crystal clear, as if I were in the yard with them.
    Never, NEVER, heard an adult try to sooth this broken child,
    over 2 fricken’ hours. I was heart broken, my daughter was disturbed as well.
    She thanked me for quitting a career I had worked so hard to achieve, in order to be her mom, teacher, nurse, chef, and adventure companion.
    Working to pay someone else your hard earned money to *not love your baby* is just stupid!!!

  6. Too many young women are missing out on the most wonderfully important job of their lifetime, and that is to raise their own children.

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