Masculinity That Attracts Women Like a Moth to a Flame Looks Like This

Never before in our nation’s history have we studied what it means to be a man more than we have right now. Of course, we didn’t need to study it before—people knew what it meant to be a man. Today, there’s so much propaganda surrounding the issue of gender that people are either confused as hell or they sit in silence with what they know to be true out of fear.
But you know who’s not confused? Men who embrace their masculinity full throttle. Men like Brian Begin, whose program Fearless teaches other men to embrace their masculinity full throttle.

What’s causing all the confusion is the bogus idea that traditional masculinity is inherently evil. Jordan Peterson sums it up perfectly:

“The dominant narrative in our culture is predicated on the assumption that the West is a tyrannical patriarchy. It has become acceptable in our time to put forward a version of history, the present and the future that is based on a deep hatred for men. This is a very enervating, demotivating, discouraging story, as it takes what is best about the best young men — their desire for competence, contribution, cooperation, competition and success — and turns it into something indictable.”

But confident men (and the women who love them) know masculinity isn’t evil. It’s the narrative about it that’s evil. Not only does masculinity give us freedom and keep us safe, it’s the other half of what makes love work.

That’s what Brian Begin’s program is about: making love work. Or more specifically, making attraction work. (Here’s a great video at the top of this page that explains the problem today’s men face in embracing their masculinity.)

There is simply no question that marriages and relationships took a nosedive at the exact time the propaganda about masculinity being evil took place. We’ve turned men into mice by making them afraid to claim their manhood. We’ve made men believe that embracing their masculinity makes them like President Trump, who’s the embodiment of an extreme alpha male.

But most men are not that extreme. They are, however, alpha to their core. Problem is, they won’t let their alpha out. They’ve been conditioned to believe their alpha is bad.

Their alpha isn’t bad. On the contrary, women crave it. “We get a lot of guys with ‘Nice Guy Syndrome’ [and] toxic shame,” notes Begin. “They’re nice to a fault, running around trying to people please so much they don’t even know who they are anymore.”

He adds, “For people to want to be sexual with each other, you need polarity. Most men and women today have become almost competitive for each other’s masculine and feminine, and no one’s taking a polarizing role.”

Those of you who follow my work will not be surprised that Begin’s program caught my eye: it’s the exact message in my latest book, The Alpha Female’s Guide to Men & MarriageBegin is doing with men—helping them embrace their inner alpha—what I’m doing with women: helping them embrace their inner beta.

At the end of the day, men want a woman and women want a man.

Here’s what masculinity that attracts women like a moth to a flame looks like:

  1. A man who stands tall and proud and who never asks permission.

  2. A man who knows who he is and who isn’t afraid to share it with the world.

  3. A man who looks deep into a woman’s eyes and doesn’t look away because it’s uncomfortable.

  4. A man who’s confident without being cocky.

  5. A man who’s passionate about something. Anything at all.

  6. A man who’s fiercely protective of the woman he loves.

This is what masculinity looks like, and there’s nothing wrong with it. It’s good for women, and it’s good for our country. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Suzanne Venker

Suzanne Venker is an author, columnist and relationship coach known as The Feminist "Fixer.” She helps free women from feminist lies so they can find lasting love with men. Suzanne's newest book, WOMEN WHO WIN at Love: How to Build a Relationship That Lasts, will be published October 2019.

Reader Interactions


  1. Very good list.
    I would have added to #1 … permission, to do good things.
    Tho it’s also part of men to do questionable things.

    The true toxicity is the doing the bad things, not the permission asking or not.

  2. Well said.

    It’s sad what toxic feminism does to western women’s brains by telling them that they must go against biology and their instincts what means:

    Careers and no families.

    Be masculine and hate your feminity.

    Kill your children.

    Be a victim all the time.

    Sadly most women wake up when it’s almost too late and they are in their mid 30s.

  3. I’m hesitant to admit as I don’t want to come across as cheeky, but this photo actually excites me a lot. 😉 However, you are absolutely right. I’ll never forget how my husband sassily kissed me – a complete stranger – and wrapped his hand around my waist one night in a bar in San Francisco. That’s when we met. Similarly to this politics, I’m raising my sons to be dominant and assertive especially when pursuing a woman – after all, I don’t want to raise my boys to be doormats who’ll get asked on dates by ladies, amd not vice versa. Yes, I’m that kind of “submissive” female, which is not always easy as I do get angry and frustrated, since my husband is much more successful and paid than me. I’m a housewife who obeys, listens and nurtures, the one who always asks for husband’s advice before making any decision. And, if a woman can be “proud” without being bitchy , I’m proud of myself.

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