Guns Are Just a Symptom of the Underlying Problem

This article was originally published at the Washington Examiner.

First, to be clear: this is not an argument against gun control, per se. I have no problem with proposals such as background checks and “red flag laws” in response to mass shootings. No doubt they will do some good.

But they will not cure the underlying disease.

There is no one thing or one group to blame for America’s mass shootings. There are big factors and smaller factors that work together to produce a perfect storm. The “big” factor is the breakdown of strong, intact, healthy families—via divorce or never-formed marriages, as well as absentee or lax parenting.

Family dissolution and dysfunction almost always results in children’s needs being thrust aside in favor of more pressing adult matters. This, in turn, can and does result in drug addiction, anxiety, suicide, depression, violence, promiscuity, despair and, yes, even hate.

Hate is more of a male issue than a female one. Girls whose needs aren’t met may withdraw, struggle with emotional issues, or lash out in a manipulative manner. Men and boys are more outward with their pain. They’re also affected by broken homes in a unique way since more often than not boys lose their dads in the process.

Why is father absence such a big deal? For many reasons, but there are two in particular. One, boys are saturated in testosterone and must learn to channel their aggression a healthy manner. That’s one of the many things dads do well. Mothers can try to help their sons with this task, and some will be successful in doing so. But mothers cannot, as a rule, identify with their sons’ aggression the way dads can.

Two, once boys become teenagers they tend to pull away from Mom and look to their fathers to be role models for how to be a man. And if Dad is absent, or if he’s present but abusive or otherwise engaged, boys will struggle with their worth and identity.

Add to these family circumstances the cultural narrative that insists masculinity is toxic, and add to that the saturation of violent media images, and what do we expect? With going outside to play no longer an option, troubled boys will easily escape to a virtual world that breeds isolation.

Guns, violent video games, pornography, drugs and mental health are not the culprits but the symptoms. Almost all of them can be curbed or contained when children grow up in married-parent households with physically and mentally engaged moms and dads.

It is simply indisputable that for the past half-century, the strength of America’s marriages and families has disintegrated. As a culture, we are dismissive of marriage and downright agitated by the needs of children.

“Parents come to my practice regularly to discuss symptoms their children exhibit due to their families having busier and more distracted lives, premature separation (children being placed in day care as early as 6 weeks old), and their parents’ lack of interest in nurturing,” writes Erica Komisar, psychoanalyst and author of the Being There: Prioritizing Motherhood in the First Three Years.

We’ve also become materialistic. The goal is no longer a simple life focused on our obligations to family but a “big” life focused on the Almighty Self. As if there’s something “out there” that offers the kind of meaning and joy we can’t seem to find in our own homes. Don’t think our children don’t notice.

Whenever I write about the breakdown of the family, some people charge back with, “But there are plenty of people who come from broken homes who don’t become drug addicts or wind up in prison!”

Yes, and there are people who smoke a pack a day their entire lives who don’t get cancer. That doesn’t mean smoking is harmless.

Others point to the fact that black men aren’t the ones committing these mass shootings, so it must be a race problem—as if white men are prone to kill, but black men aren’t. I guess no one told them the vast majority of black murders are committed by black men. Mass shootings are indeed rife in the black community; they just take a different form.

It may be true that strong, intact, healthy families can occasionally churn out troubled kids. But it is no coincidence the vast majority of prison inmates are from broken or dysfunctional families. Nor is it a coincidence that the vast majority of mass shooters are, or were, fatherless.

“Boys who hurt, hurt us,” notes Dr. Warren Farrell, author of The Boy Crisis.

The takeaway of this article, then, is not that fatherless boys are destined to become mass shooters. It’s that broken or never-formed families that result in father absence, combined with lax or absentee parenting, combined with a culture that denigrates masculinity and provides children with unlimited access to violence and pornography, is a recipe for disaster.

The good news is that we can all do something about it.

Suzanne Venker

Suzanne Venker is an author, columnist and radio host known as The Feminist Fixer. She helps free women from feminism so they can find lasting love with men. Suzanne's newest book, WOMEN WHO WIN at Love: How to Build a Relationship That Lasts, will be published October 2019.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Alice Rowlands says

    I think the solution is obvious but no government has the guts to implement it – sterilise everyone who is clearly unsuited to parenthood and watch the whole problem disappear in one generation. It isn’t really that difficult to see who is going to be bad at raising happy healthy children – if sterilisation seems too drastic at first then make birth control compulsory for all troubled teens and everyone on welfare payments – wait and see how the teens turn out as they journey into adulthood – if they are still unsuitable at 25 or 30 then sterilise them – poverty, misery and prison populations will come right down – I say this as a 60+ woman who is child free and happy. I have never been in a suitable place to raise a family so I didn’t. I behaved responsibly.

  2. Deoxy says

    ” I have no problem with proposals such as background checks and “red flag laws” in response to mass shootings. No doubt they will do some good.”

    Oh, there’s PLENTY of doubt about that. Check every country where they’ve been put in place. Heck, check ANY country where they’ve been put in place.

    People in prison, literally the most “police state” community possible, MAKE guns while they are there. Yes, even full-auto ones, upon occasion. Oddly enough, people willing to commit murder aren’t bit on following other laws, either.

    You’re right about the larger point, of course.

  3. D'James says

    Suzanne, you are a breath of fresh air. You could have taken it further. What was the first thing the Turkish government did, in 1916? They took away the guns of Armenians. And they they massacred them by the millions. Adolf Hitler said there’d be no problem killing off Jews, Gays, Gypsies, and Slavs, since nobody did anything about the Armenian massacre.

    What was the first thing Stalin did? Disarm the population. And then he killed more Russians than Hitler did. Mao Zedong killed 60 million unarmed “bandits” after disarming them.

    Sal Alinsky said the best way to fight the right [interesting pun there] was false flag incidents- instead of picketing rightists, show up in a KKK uniform. It’s not like anybody checks ID, right? How many of the shooters were failed products of MJ 12 and Majestic, and other such programs? Does anyone really think that Hillary, and co., are too moral to create mass shootings to advance their programs and make Republicans look bad? If Democrats really cared about black people, and poor people, they would not have created the welfare state- which they did. Lyndon Johnson used a false flag incident to start the large scale Vietnam war. Read news reports of the time, they were coming from one place. Nobody analyzed anything. Kennedy made powerful people mad- he planned to have all US troops out of Vietnam by Xmas, 1963, and I spoke with officers in Vietnam at the time, who saw the orders. ANyone, left or right, who has studied the Kennedy assassination realizes that the Warren Report is a fairy tale.
    Of course I’m just speculating. Who else used false flag incidents. Oh, wait, the Nazis. The Reichstag fire, which led to the Krystallnacht- in which, by way, Jews were disarmed- the alleged Polish attack on the border station, in which concentration camp inmates in Polish uniforms were killed… Let’s talk about rednecks, the “deplorables”. The Romans were burning them out 2,000 years ago. Edward II was doing the same thing. They took their arms, pitiful as they were, and finally, under William Wallace, and later Robert the Bruce, defeated the English. What did the British do after the 1746 revolt? Disarmed the Scots, and hunted them down and killed them. Rednecks know fascists when they see them, they have centuries of experience. They also know that Democrats protected slavery, started a bloody Civil war to keep it, and later generated Jim Crow laws so restrictive even the Nazis, when they copied them as the Nuremburg laws, were shocked. Minister Farrakhan noted that Hillary was behind the Superpredator laws that put so many young black men behind bars, before the last election. Suzanne, you can’t say this. The whole thing is a smokescreen, a planned set of “false flag” incidents, to destroy the country. And it’s working. If you think about it, there is a place where the socialist ideal of free medical care, free food and clothing, free housing, no need to work, and so on, is realized. They exist in every state. They are called prisons. And the reason they are breaking up families is so they will have the psychopaths to run the secret police in the state they want to create – which is precisely what was done in Russia, and Rumania, and China, and… “One good father is worth 100 teachers” – traditional Spanish proverb Look at what was done to Dinesh D’Souza, if you doubt me, and his movie Death of a Nation notes, among other things, that Woodrow Wilson, a Democrat, showed an extremely racist movie- Birth of a Nation- in the White House, as he was firing black civil servants right and left. The first 70 or so years of black senators and representatives were all Republicans. It’s all in the history books. But few Americans read any more. Few Americans realize that the black ghetto is the new plantation, an intentional product, created by design. They give women checks, barely enough to survive, instead of opportunity. Look at cities run by Democrats for decades: Detroit, Chicago, Baltimore, and so on. They have hellhole areas, by design, where black men kill other black men. There are a few black people who realize this, Louis Farrakhan, Larry Elder, and others, and the Democrats won’t give them the time of day. They are pulling the curtain aside, and telling people to look at the man behind the curtain.

  4. D'James says

    The Tonkin Gulf incident was misreported, in all media, at the time- it was a classic false flag incident. The Israeli bombing of that Intelligence ship in 1967 was done at LBJ’s request- he wanted it sunk, so he could blame Nasser, and replace him. Enough Israeli pilots refused to do this, that the ship was only damaged. You won’t see that in the mass media, though. They talk about the “tragic mistake”. MLK’s family said that James Earl Ray wasn’t the shooter. Did you see that in the news? He wasn’t. MLK made the mistake of coming out against the Vietnam war, and 8 days later, he departed this mortal coil.

    • D'James says

      The reason the media rages about “right wing” stuff, is that sites such as zerohedge.com, and others like them, print the real news. How many people really went through the Podesta papers, and the other big leak? Nobody in media. Read those, if you doubt anything said here. Why did Bill Clinton pardon over 400 criminals, shortly before leaving office? What was that about? The media said nothing. Obama had detention camps more than double what Trump has, and not one peep was in the media. I’m not saying to believe what is on the Internet. Just look at it. And you already knew, in your gut, that the mass media is all lies. You already knew that. No partisan endorsement of any politician is intended, in this. Just look at the whole picture. Larry Elder says this far better than I could.

    • Dad of 3 says

      You can thank family court for much of this problem. But it won’t be fixed as the feminists and women at large want to have that power. I raised two of my three kids by myself for seven years. When Mom wanted back in their lives. I had no problem with that. But when the issue of money came up. They only cared that I had to work. She could get away with a part time job initially and then even quit that. All so she could get more money in child support. Meanwhile the guy who raised the kids had to work overtime to pay for the kids as she refused to pay for anything unless forced. Of course she got half the child support for them from me. But the bills were my problem.

      Until you make that court actual equal. Including who provides for the kids. You will see fathers dismissed. While the Mom can out and out lie to get her way

  5. D'James says

    Look at the recent suicide of Jeffrey Epstein. Let’s see, a maximum security prison, where somehow there was no roommate, somehow there was nobody watching the cameras, the cameras weren’t on, there had been a previous attempt, and somehow, using sheets that were like paper towels, he managed to hang himself, with no help. Or was it shoot himself in the back, with an assault rifle, from 30 feet away, stopping only once to reload [a line from National Lampoon], I can’t remember. He had the goods on a lot of politicians, who visited his magical island. Bill Clinton visited over 46 times, and somehow the publication that printed this was shut down.

    • John says

      Yeah. JFK wants to end the Vietnam war, and a guy with close ties to the armaments industry somehow becomes president, because an alleged assassin, who was a crummy marksman in the Marine Corps, and who worked for a 3 letter agency, somehow used a carbine with a maximum effective range of 100 yards, to send a super bullet 400 yards, in a downgrade, through a tree, into a limousine, which was so riddled with bullets from other directions that LBJ ordered it junked. he said himself he was a patsy, before he was assassinated by a guy with close ties to the Mafia, which hated JFK with a passion. And Mark Lane, a leftist, was the first to point this stuff out. Or an assassin from a family with close ties to the Bushes tries to kill Reagan. Americans are so stupid, they can’t make the most obvious of connections. Trump was a media darling, before he ran for president. Obama- yes, that Obama- said that Trump was the guy most Americans wanted to be like. Google some of the older articles on Trump, the media loved him.

    • Helene says

      Looks like a duck, walks like a duck, talks like a duck, has feathers like a duck, has a beak, leaves webbed footprints like a duck. Is it a duck? No, it is a suicide. Kind of like the news accounts that identified all of the 9/11 hijackers, two hours after it happened. That was truly some fascinatingly good police work. Especially since some of those alleged hijackers have been seen alive, in Arab countries. But what do Arabs know, really, other than the same kind of stuff happening in their countries. Americans love fiction, especially in their news media.

  6. David says

    There is a family counsellor talk on TED, who notes that kids have access to porn you wouldn’t believe- every wierd fetish, and a lot of other stuff you can’t imagine. As young as 10, all they need is a cell phone. Without the ability to discriminate. They assume it’s all normal. This is not your father’s PLayboy, this is… a choice of over 1 million videos of some extremely deviant stuff, some portraying behavior most countries criminalize. Somehow, liberals think this is healthy, but that marriage is exploitive.

    • Donald says

      The only way to propagate healthy married relationships- is to demonstrate one, in your own life. A healthy married relationship gives out a lot of energy, to all participants. Even Hugh Hefner got married, more than once.

    • C Baron says

      The kids in school don’t need porn. The schools, libraries and other institutions are providing more than most kids could possibly want in the MANDATORY attendance (no, you cannot opt your kids out) at LGBT encouraging classes. Recently there was a news story in the right-leaning press (not the main stream media) that parents could opt their kids out of the sex education part of health class, but not the LGBT training.

  7. Ethan says

    The whole thing was planned. The Democrats want to create their perfect socialist society, just like the former Union of S. Socialist Republics, or USSR. They want to do it in the only way available: by force. Lenin said you have to break eggs to have omelets, and Stalin killed millions of Russians, to build the perfect socialist state. Some New York congresswoman openly told a classroom that they wanted to take away all guns, not just assault rifles. It’s on youtube. Those who fight dragons long enough become dragons. The democrats have become what they hate, nasty warmongering, police state, Mad Max society creators. Home invasions more than doubled in Britain, after they took away the guns.
    Guns are forbidden in India, to private citizens, but more and more people are getting them, because some cities in India make Detroit look like a summer camp. The mother of a woman bullied by a Socialist politician, in Spain, shot the politician. With a pistol. Wait, no private citizen in Spain can own a pistol, how is that possible? She bought it on the black market. Three times a week, Spanish TV shows an arrest by the Guardia Civil, of drug gangs, and other criminals, with pistols, even assault rifles, smuggled into the country illegally. Gun control doesn’t work there, does it. Adolf Hitler did not actually win the election. He made a deal with Hindenburg. Outlawing private ownership of firearms was high on his list. There is a reason the founders of our country had the Second Amendment, which referred to the citizenry, not to the National Guard- as needing the right to bear arms. It was because they saw the tyrrany of a government that took away arms, from the people, as the British did. The first battle of the Revolutionary war was over gun control- the British wanted to seize weapons. Isoruku Yamamoto told the Japanese government that they could never invade the US, because there would be a rifle behind every blade of grass. Hillary wanted to open our borders, make us like the EU, with no control of government by citizens, and said so, openly. Democrats are as fascist as Mussolini and Hitler were. Just compare what they say. Destroying the family, as Democrats are doing, is only the first step.

  8. Duke says

    When my father was young, and going to school, it was common for some kid who had a new gun to bring it to school, to show it off. The teachers would admire it, also. My father hunted for his supper, sometimes, like that Medal of Honor winner J.T. McKinney. There were no problems.

    What happened? Feminism, drugs, and a mercilessly socialist government, which is doing all it can to destroy the family, destroy democracy, destroy communities, and destroy the country. ANd they are succeeding. Thank God for the few who stand to hold them back, like you.

  9. John says

    Most violent criminals are products of broken families. Who created more broken families than ever before, in our history… Democrats and feminists. Just like Larry Elder says. So we have all those violent criminals. And instead of healing the bad conditions that created them, Democrats want to remove the only security that scares violent criminals? Huh? The mass shootings play so very well into the Democratic plan, that they cannot all have been accidental. An earlier write notes that Sol Alinsky- Hillary’s hero- said not to try to attack the right, simply show up to their rallies in white sheets. This is known as a “false flag” event. If there is even one such false flag incident- and there are more than one- then you have to wonder how many false flag incidents are presented as real. What is the agenda? Republicans are wusses, by way, they don’t stand up to tyranny. And Democrats. They have worked so very hard to destroy the country, and it’s working. My grandmother would have been totally offended by panty commercials, let alone the porn that is a concert by our current crop of singers, from Britney to Lady Gag to Ariana to whoever else is on. Yes, bad stuff happened in the old days, but there wasn’t the extreme resentment that there is now, stoked by a media that makes Josef Goebels look like a kindergarten teacher. Mene Mene Tekel Upharisin- Weigh, Weigh, Balance, Upheaval. Which means you have been weighed in the balance, and found wanting, and there will be upheaval. From these words come the expressing hand writing on the wall. Yes, the Babylonian court saw these words, written, according to the account, by a ghostly hand. And the next day, the city was overrun by the Kurds and the Persians. Medes were Kurds. And one woman who has hurt more women than anybody else is the genius who said women need men like fish need bicycles. Which means that many women do not seek mates, in their prime years, no, instead they wait until all they have is leftovers, and some of those leftovers are bicycles who don’t need fish. That one statement inoculated more women against making a happy match, in their prime years… and the originator is still quoted with the most hateful statements in the press, which, if made about black people, or minorities, would be clearly identified as hate speech. Feminism is hate speech. Candace Owens is so much fun to watch, when she debates feminists. They lose, every time, because they are run by feelings with little foundation in facts, not by like, rational thinking, of the kind that produces effective results. Candace Owens: we need a woman in the white house. You have my vote. You go, girl. Politicians do not lead. Politicians see where people are going, and try to get ahead of them. This problem will not be solved by politicians, or by the media. It will be solved by the people, if it is to be solved at all. This problem is the direct result of choices people make. As we spread awareness among people, they will make better choices. I look forward to the day when The New York TImes is seen as the Volkischer Beobachter it has become. I look forward to the day when men and women are quite happy to be in committed relationships- because, properly done, everybody involved in a committed relationship gets more out of it, than they put into it- because it is a synergistic being, at a higher level of order. If guns are so bad, why was Eric Holder smuggling automatic weapons to mexican drug gangs, by the semi-trailer load? As noted in the book, by the DEA guy. And why did Obama claim executive privilege, so he didn’t have to discuss it. WHere is the media outrage over this?
    SOme historians blame Germans, for somehow not stopping the Nazis. Except that Hitler didn’t actually win the election. he made a deal with Hindenburg, to become chancellor. He cheated, just like Democrats do. And he had to move slowly, at first. Over a million Germans died in concentration camps for the sole reason that they opposed Hitler. “They came for the trade unionists, and I did nothing, because I was not a trade unionist. They came for the Communists, and I did nothing, because I was not a communist. They came for the Jews, and I did nothing, because I was not a Jew. Then they came for me- and there was no-one left to speak for me.” -Pastor Niemoller. Dietrick Bonhoeffer was killed by Nazis, for speaking out against them. Sophy, an 18 year old German girl, was guillotined- had her head cut off- by Nazis- in 1944, because she passed out pamphlets opposing the Nazis. What was the first thing the Nazis did? They took away all private firearms. Based on Stalin’s example. Mao did the same thing in China. The Turks disarmed the Armenians, before they massacred them. Hitler cited the lack of any action, over the Armenian massacre, as justification for doing the same to Jews. Hitler was a leftist- who believe in an allpowerful government. Real rightists believe in limited government, and personal responsibility. There are a few family reunification programs, state and federally funded, but they might as well not exist. Look carefully at the violent inner city ghetto. It wasn’t that way, 80 years ago. Larry Elder points out that there were more intact black families, than white, in 1950, a time of considerable racism. It took Democrats to rip the black family apart. Black people have had it bad, in the past. Look at those inner city ghettoes. They are perfectly Socialist. Housing, heat, electricity, and food are all subsidized. Most families are single parent headed. They are all victims. These are all poster children for the Democrats. It’s not limited to black; it has spread to Hispanics, and you can even find whites in it, too, especially in Appalachia. Larry Elder, and some other black leaders, are very aware of what has been done to them. This is not a pro-Republican thing, Republicans are lazy at best. It is a societal problem, because of the conscious decision to destroy the foundation of society- the family. Chinese people are not that stupid. They know better, and only look on in awe, at American stupidity. And they know that as America dissolves, without that family foundation, they can step in and form their own empire. They’re already starting. Young, unmarried, educated women, in their 20’s, are paid more than comparable men, nowadays, because they are harder to recruit, and keep. How about that.
    Society is healthy when cities are healthy. Cities are healthy when neighborhoods are healthy. Neighborhoods are healthy when families are healthy. The Chinese know this well. The best single investment we could make, to improve our country, is real family reunification programs. In the few places it has been seriously tried, it reduced social problems immeasurably. I talked to a guy who implemented one. He knew well that he couldn’t get but maybe 2% of the resources he needed, to solve problems for the inner city area he worked in. But the problems all came from single parent families. So, with limited funds, he started a family reunification program. It worked beyond his wildest expectations, his ROI was like 100 to 1, or more. A sane government would be doing this nationwide. But we don’t have a sane government. We have a government of little boys and girls, who just quarrel, instead of solving problems. So we have to do it, ourselves, one on one. It’s frustratingly slow, but it’s our only choice. But do vote. That’s how you tell politicians you care. And let your politicians know your feelings. Most of them keep every letter they get, and yes, they do pay attention, though you’ll get minimal feedback. If handwritten letters weren’t effective, there wouldn’t be large corporations faking such letters, to reps in Congress. You can also find sites that list advertisers for immoral TV shows. Write nastygrams to the advertisers. One guy, on an IBM selectric, doing this, 20+ years ago, cost the Phil Donahue show more than 10% of its revenue. One guy. With a typewriter. You have the power. Use it. Or the world your kids will grow up in will be hell.

    • Calum says

      Yes. The genius who said that a woman needs a man, like a fish needs a bicycle. Women are uniquely capable of holding conflicting opinions. They don’t need a man, but they’d like a family. They need to be treated equal to men, except that they need special privileges and programs. They need equal treatment in the divorce courts, except they must always get custody, and child support.

      I’m meeting more and more young men, who are really nihilistic about marriage. One of them lives near me. He has all kinds of fun toys. The dirt bike, the kayak, several others. I see some sharp looking young ladies coming to his door, regularly, I’ve counted at least 12 different ones, and that is just what I’ve seen. Why would he want to get married, and restrict his action? Women his age, even older, are passing out sex for free, no commitment needed. He’s a happy guy.

  10. Emily says

    Add to these family circumstances the cultural narrative that insists masculinity is toxic, and add to that the saturation of violent media images, and what do we expect? With going outside to play no longer an option, troubled boys will easily escape to a virtual world that breeds isolation. Guns, violent video games, pornography, drugs and mental health are not the culprits but the symptoms. Almost all of them can be curbed or contained when children grow up in married-parent households with physically and mentally engaged moms and dads.

    That’s true. Where is the outrage over the violence in the media? You know, the average six year old has seen several thousand murders, on TV, and in movies, according to Leo Buscaglia. There is a reason Amish and Mennonite families, among others, don’t allow their kids to watch TV. They don’t want their children seeing more people killed, by the time they are six, than some Nazi concentration camp guards saw killed. Yes. Some Nazi Allegemeine SS guards, saw fewer people killed, than the average American six year old. Your eyes take in images the way your mouth takes in food, and you become what you eat. Who has propagated the school/mass shooting meme? The mass media. Mass media is toxic. I’ve seen many police officers who have said that the names of criminals should not be made public- because that is a reward, for criminal behavior. They become “somebody”. Movies are losing audiences, by way. Disney actually made a Star Wars movie that lost money, by making it PC. At some point, we will see enough sensory overload, that people will quit watching violent movies. People are realizing that what they put in their heads, and hearts, repeats itself in life events. And the first step is to unplug from the TV news. Yesterday, 99.999% of people in the world had a pretty good day. But those are not what you see in the news. What you concentrate on- what you give energy to- grows. We do not see the world. We see the world our style of questioning reveals, as noted by Werner Heisenberg, a Quantum Physicist. Some Americans are so dead to their feelings, that they watch horror movies. I’ve noted that children in such families are rather abusive. D’ya think that all that image-based programming might just maybe have programmed that? I believe that is the core lesson of life- you create what you concentrate on. For some, it takes a lifetime of creating themselves as a victim, to realize this. I cut off my cable. Don’t need that crap. I check out DVDs from the library, of movies that build me up. Our children have devices that let them watch educational programs. Does the mass media really have your good in mind? No, they have in mind what advertisers give them, to market toxic stuff that mostly doesn’t work. Why would anybody allow the mass media to fill their minds with garbage? Americans wallow in garbage, though, which is why we have garbage culture, women with purple hair and tattoos and clothing that makes people want to throw up, PUAs who have no idea what real life is, politicians without value, and music that is at best disposable. how do we deal with this? Go on the attack. Get rid of the garbage, piece by piece. Take a walk. Eat better. Connect with people, instead of the glass tit of TV. Help people in your community. The Public LIbrary has a poster with about 50 ideas like this in it, near where I live. Maybe even volunteer at some work that fills your soul. People don’t usually get creative. They copy others. When you follow your inner truth, you affect those around you. All the corruption, vice, crime, porn, and so on in the mass media, is there for one reason- it makes someone money. Cut off their money, and it dies. Let’s help it die, but putting our attention on what’s fun, what matters in life, on family, and what is meaningful. Yes, that means pulling the plug on the poison that is US mass media. I did it. I felt great. I still have more energy than anybody else, at work, because I followed this simple advice. Garbage in, garbage out. Good stuff in, good stuff out. It’s that simple. Why not get started today?

  11. Ewilda says

    The underlying problem is the destruction of family, and thus the community, and in time, the nation.
    As the family goes… so goes the nation. -Chinese saying

  12. DCM says

    Not much can be done except over a long time simply because problems of family dissolution are generally handled by lawyers (and judges are lawyers), who of course want to maintain and increase such a lucrative matter.

    • Dadod3 says

      Yes. And that usually means kicking the top wage earner out of the family. They will force him to pay all the bills and the lawyers. And if he wants to see his kids. Even more.

  13. Dadof3 says

    You can thank family court for much of this problem. But it won’t be fixed as the feminists and women at large want to have that power. I raised two of my three kids by myself for seven years. When Mom wanted back in their lives. I had no problem with that. But when the issue of money came up. They only cared that I had to work. She could get away with a part time job initially and then even quit that. All so she could get more money in child support. Meanwhile the guy who raised the kids had to work overtime to pay for the kids as she refused to pay for anything unless forced. Of course she got half the child support for them from me. But the bills were my problem.

    Until you make that court actual equal. Including who provides for the kids. You will see fathers dismissed. While the Mom can out and out lie to get her way

  14. George says

    The underlying problem is the media-fed poison in the subconscious minds of Americans. Healing starts by avoiding the flood of negative news, in the media.

  15. Connie says

    The underlying problem is that liberals hate it that they don’t have absolute totalitarian control over people, so they can impose their will on all. They are doing everything in their power, to weaken society- drugs, feminism, baaaad food, chaos, and a media that celebrates and lionizes dysfunction. The ultimate liberal goal is to tear up the Constitution. Connect the dots. You’ll see what I mean. They won’t listen to any view divergent from theirs. They have their brownshirts in the streets.

  16. Evelyn says

    There was another society that was troubled. There were marches in the streets, with people demanding their whatever they thought they were missing out on. There were even occasional shootings, which the media sensationalized. The media thundered against the chaos. And the state took action- it confiscated all the guns, from people, on Krystallnacht. The media won’t tell you this, but Krystallnacht, the night when an entire nation decided to attack the nasty savages who had been hurting the people, broke all the glass in the store windows of Jews, and took away all the firearms. Krystallnacht is a German word. It happened in Germany. Americans don’t study history much any more, or they would see the precise parallels, between the leftist state that is emerging, and the leftist state that was Nazi Germany. What does “Nazi” stand for? National Socialist. Yes. It was the NATIONAL SOCIALIST German Worker’s Party, NSDAP in German. They weren’t right wingers. Right wingers want weak government, because they know a government powerful enough to give you everything you want, is also powerful enough to take away everything you have. Lenin sent a telegram of congratulations to Mussolini, when Mussolini took over Italy. He knew a kindred soul. And Lenin’s successor- a Socialist- killed more Russians than Hitler did. German and Austrian women loved Hitler, who made many new opportunities for them. Leni Riefenstahl made a film worth watching- The Triumph of the Will- which nicely shows how a whole nation went stark raving mad, over left wing leader. Hitler had a great idea. Get criminals off the streets, by putting them in uniform. And that was the Brownshirts, the Sturmabteilung, the antifa of their day. And the black shirts, the SS. The SS was a really exclusive club. Prior to the war, one requirement of membership was to kill a Jew, or Gypsy, or other enemy of the state, in cold blood. That’s why they had the skull and crossbones insignia. There were women in the Allegemeine SS, that ran the concentration camps. Their cruelty to female inmates exceeded that of the male guards, who sometimes looked on in shock, at what the female guards did. Of course Americans don’t know this, because they don’t read, or study history, they listen to the mass media, which are much more sophisticated than anything Joseph Goebbels had access to. Who was he? Minister of Propaganda, that is, official liar. And we have several networks devoted solely to telling lies, or misrepresenting the facts. As Joseph Biden put it, “we are interested in the truth, not in facts”. That is the Democratic party. They are solely interested in their own special truth, the only version that exists, and have no interest in facts. These are the same Democrats who passed Jim Crow laws in the South, and kept black people down- and in the 1960’s, created welfare, the “monthly check”, to break up and destroy black and Hispanic families, and neighborhoods, with of course collateral damage among whites. They did this to create a majority to stay in power, because they weren’t getting the votes. They use your tax money, to buy votes. Jerry Brown bitterly attacked having Vietnamese immigrants, after that war, saying they couldn’t take care of the people they had. Cesar Chavez promoted violent attacks on illegal immigrants, who were driving down wages. But Americans have no memory. This is not an endorsement of the current president, who is just bizarre, though I will say that the Democrats let their worst candidate shut down Joe Biden’s campaign- yes, just look at the Podesta emails- and otherwise sabotage all of her opponents in the primaries. But Americans won’t look at stuff like that, mostly, because CNN tells them to ignore stuff like that. People will be studying the Podesta emails 100 years from now, with interest. Jeffrey Epstein made several attempts to commit suicide, despite the cameras, the guards, the extra inmate… and somehow he finally made it. WIthout help. Just like that Seth Rich guy working for the DNC when the DNC emails were swiped, was mugged, in DC, but nothing was taken, all the videocameras somehow malfunctioned, and on and on. Or some of Bill’s accusers were shot in obvious assassinations. They only had to do a few, to send a message. One of Bill’s accusers was in a coffee shop, in DC, and a black guy came in, put a weapon to her head, pulled the trigger, and left. Anybody with half a brain knows this was a hit, and you can be sure any woman considering accusing Bill saw it that way. Hillary’s lawyer somehow committed suicide, in a carpeted area, but was able to somehow drag himself to a park. JFK’s limo somehow vanished, after the shooting. Yeah. Witnesses said it had a number of bullet holes. The head of the Mafia in New Orleans said on tape, that he had a part in the JFK assassin- the FBI has it. That guy, Carlos Marcello, also hated MLK, and said he had done something about MLK- on tape, for the FBI. Martin Luther King’s “assassin” somehow left a case for the weapon, in public view, with a beer can with his fingerprints on it. MLK’s family said Ray wasn’t the assassin. People overseas understand how this stuff works. But Americans? Too stupid to see it. God help us all, the curse of America is that people are so incredibly unseeing and stupid. When the government fears the people, that is democracy. When people fear the government, that is tyrrany- Thomas Jefferson. He’s the guy on the nickel, you know, and the $5 bill, I think. There was this thing called the Declaration of Independence, that he and a number of other people signed, at the risk of their lives, to fight for. It resulted in a nation where more and more people could seek out their own destiny. And it appears many Americans want to throw all that away. Some women are waking up to the damage that feminism is doing, at least. Karen Straughn is a right on woman, who has her head screwed on straight. Cassie Jaye is no slouch, either. Camille Paglia has a brain. I have hope, there are a few other women, who are waking up to reality. And for all those antifa types, and others, let us recall the night of the long knives. The antifa of the Nazi party, the brownshirts, were killed off in a night, including their gay leader. They weren’t useful any more. The British magazine Punch had a cartoon of Nazi’s making the Nazi salute, with both hands. The one good thing about all this idiocy, is that I totally committed to understanding the ideas of Neville Goddard, and Florence Scovell Shinn. That is the only way I can envision surviving what is coming. This is not some kind of partisan thing, we haven’t had a good president since Eisenhower. The government is not going to solve any problems. Only the people, getting focused, and committed, and working every day, can do that. One way is to create a sense of community. We wouldn’t have all those hate-filled feminists, if we had healthier communities, and people in them.

  17. Henry says

    You say: Family dissolution and dysfunction almost always results in children’s needs being thrust aside in favor of more pressing adult matters. This, in turn, can and does result in drug addiction, anxiety, suicide, depression, violence, promiscuity, despair and, yes, even hate.

    Think of community, and family, as a system. What defines a system? Connection among the parts, and flow. The system is stronger than the sum of its parts- because it is connected, in something larger. Fammily dissolution and dysfunction are simply impeded flow. Yes, children’s needs aren’t met- due to blocked flow. Which leads to unhealthy behaviors, as you say, because they are not allowed to drain their pain, or to express their own spirits. Talk to a kid raised by a single parent. Some of them are incredibly resentful.

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