Are You Harboring Negative Love Scripts That Keep You From Having a Happy Relationship?

This article was originally published at Lively Journal.

The basics of love are honestly so simple. Unfortunately, a main reason modern women struggle in their relationships is that they harbor erroneous beliefs about love that undermine their success with men.

They’re moving through the world with scripts about love that they learned from their parents and the culture. And these scripts predict whether or not you’ll be successful in love.

All the information in the marketplace about how to have a healthy relationship is useful, but it is not enough if your underlying belief system is skewed. Your success in love is largely psychological, or tied to the way you think and believe.

So what have you learned about love? One obvious answer is avoidance. As products of divorce, you don’t trust love. And as products of a feminist culture, you don’t trust men.

You began developing these scripts as a child. Take, for example, Jennifer, who called in to the Dennis Prager program on his “Male/Female Hour” and said the following:

I was programmed to get into the workforce, compete with men, and make money. Supposedly, that would be a fulfilling life. But I was told that by a feminist mother who was divorced, who hated her husband—my father.

Many women today received a similar message growing up. It may not have been as direct or as extreme; but regardless, they absorbed the narrative as a child that marriage, or love, is unsustainable.

From these childhood wounds, many women swing the pendulum too far in the other direction and give up on love altogether. They may continue to date or even to marry, but their underlying belief system when it comes to men and marriage has been damaged. They’re walking through the world holding up a shield. They can’t let their guard down.

They developed a script in their minds early on based on their parents’ experience. We all do this. But as children our brains aren’t fully developed, and we don’t realize that what we’re seeing isn’t conclusive. It’s our parents’ experience, but that doesn’t mean that what we take away from our childhood observations is true or even accurate.

But wait, don’t men have the same wounds? Yes, and no. Certainly boys of divorced parents (or whose parents’ marriage was conflict-ridden or otherwise lacking) can come away with a negative belief about marriage. But it’s far less likely for a boy to have a father who “hated” his wife and who talked ill of her to his son, thereby causing him to be cautious or resentful of women. That’s not how most men operate.

It’s also young women, not young men, who once they leave home get walloped with the narrative that marriage should be postponed or even avoided altogether. And if women do get married and have children, their lives shouldn’t change in any way. They should simply carry on with their pre-kid lives; and if they’re unable to manage it, that’s the fault of men and society.

This recent article at Yahoo, entitled “7 Reasons Not to Get Married, According to Science,” is a great example.

When asked about the secrets to living a long life, some of the oldest women in world agreed—stay away from men. Back in 2015, at the age of 109, Jessie Gallan, a Scottish woman, offered her advice to longevity: “Eat your porridge and avoid men. They’re just more trouble than they’re worth.” And Gladys Gough, a British woman who lived to be 104, said, “I never got married or had a boyfriend either. That probably had something to do with it. I just couldn’t be bothered with men.”

Why do these cultural messages matter so much? Because humans are tribal by nature. Being part of a group, or following trends, is critical to people’s happiness. As humans, we’re hardwired to conform. Whatever the culture deems is the “thing to do” most people will do, even if that “thing” belies common sense or is flat out false.

And the message that marriage leads to misery is false. Problem is, we don’t hear nearly enough from happily married couples about how and why their marriages work. If we do, it’s almost always lacking in scope—”communication is key,” for instance—is thus unhelpful.

So how can a person get rid of the script they’re living with in order to be successful in love?

This is going to sound too simple, but by being aware of the fact that you’re living with this script and that it’s holding you back. It gives tremendous perspective to every problem or situation to know that it’s not insurmountable but only seems that way because of the way you’re thinking about it.

Here’s a great example. In a 2010 interview with Barbara Walters, the actress Sandra Bullock said, “I always had this feeling that if you got married, it was like the end of who you were.” And in the January 2019 issue of Elle, the twice-divorced Jennifer Aniston insists she doesn’t need marriage and kids to be happy. “I’m sure, because I was from a divorced-parent home, that was another reason I wasn’t like, ‘Well, that looks like a great institution.’

Adding fuel to the fire is that the culture will then reinforce this belief with statements like this:

“There’s a fear of divorce or a specter of divorce looming large in people’s minds,” Wendy D. Manning, co-director of Bowling Green’s Center for Family and Marriage Research, told The Wall Street Journal. “They don’t want to make a mistake. They’re waiting longer to get married to divorce-proof their marriage.”

This is an example of a flawed cultural narrative. Waiting longer to get married does not divorce-proof your marriage. The way you think about and approach marriage is what keeps divorce at bay.

To change your trajectory in love, you’ll need to change the way you think. There’s no way to sustain a marriage if your attitude toward the institution itself is negative or if it carries with it a suitcase of painful childhood memories.

Once you’re aware you’re doing this, the possibilities are endless.

Suzanne Venker

Suzanne Venker is an author, columnist and radio host known as The Feminist Fixer. She helps free women from feminism so they can find lasting love with men. Suzanne's newest book, WOMEN WHO WIN at Love: How to Build a Relationship That Lasts, will be published October 2019.

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Comments

  1. Mary Ann says

    How many feminists have happy, healthy relationships, with men? It must be in the single digits. How many feminists have happy, healthy relationships with women, say as a couple? From what I’ve seen, it’s not much better. Why might that be, I wonder.

  2. David says

    Donovan SHarpe responded to Amy Horton’s complaints about what, in effect, is negative programming. Amy Horton is questioning everything in the aftermath of countless rejections from Men. She lays bare her soul on her fears about her romantic future because of her lack of success on the dating market in her 30s. Here is another article that highlights the blame shifting nature of women to show that women rarely take accountability for their own failures in life…especially when it comes to dating.Read the article: https://www.bolde.com/ive-gotten-blow… But I liked the comments most.

    When will women stop with this hilarious notion that men who don’t like them are intimidated by them?

    They wanna be like a man until they experience being one…lol

    Feminism 101 – women are never responsible or accountable for their own choices and actions.

    Now she knows how it feels when guys get blown off in their twenties. Hurts, doesn’t it? Starts in the heart, moves to the lungs, and stomach, even some to the head.

    Women hate when men treat them in the way they treat men.

    Nothing pisses off a woman more than telling her you’re not looking to date right now. She will turn into a stalker instantly (which is why men know to put on the Jerk personality. It’s so much safer, and more effective.)

    You wanted equality. Welcome to being treated the way you have treated.

    “A wife is a luxury but a smart accountant is a necessity.” — Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #255 —

    Welcome to life as a low-status male, Amy! We saved you a spot at the D&D table.

    This article can be summed up to one thing: Typical female narcissism

    I never tire of post wall women being hit hard by reality. It can turn my whole day around.

    It isn’t just her age, men are also becoming wary of women, and some of us are avoiding all feminists.

    She shouldn’t have written that article about her genital warts Haha

    Women dont believe the wall is real untill they hit it.

    Rather lease a new model car than buying a used broken down one.

    30+ women aren’t even pump and dump material to me. I’m 35 decent looking and have no problem getting women 10+ years younger. These women just don’t get it 30+ women have very little value in the sexual marketplace.

    No beautiful woman ever said, “I don’t need no man!“

    They never question why things are so good, they only question why did it stop?

    Where are all the quality men??? Well honey,. they are hanging out with the quality women.

    A female friend told me to install tinder when i broke up with my wife. I actually, genuinely tried to find true love on Tinder. Once i understood it was for hookups and free meal, i uninstalled. Found my significant other at an event and charmed her the old style, real conversation, face to face, having to approach and strike a conversation. I really wish to see all these dating apps, twitters, instagram etc. die. They are rotting people away.

    She actually thinks that white men, very successful, big bank account, tall, movie star looks, appealing property… Trips, concerts, events, romanced ??? All on him ??? His expense? Why would he choose her at 35 over the 21 year olds who sexually respond to MONEY and ATTENTION. AT 35 there’s no way she can compete with the younger women.

    She goes out to events and parties and guys are thinking, who’s Mom is this?

    Article in a nutshell post wall woman face the same dread majority men face everyday in the dating world.

    “I’m literally questioning everything” Have you tried questioning being a narcissist who takes zero responsibility?

    “I refuse to let go of my standards”. Honey, they evaporated decades ago.

    Women see themselves as children. Even Hillary Clinton refused to accept blame for BOTH of her presidential run losses. That L is a hot potato they refuse to hold.

    This is another delusional feminist. It will take another 10 years before she figures out that she’s no longer on the menu.

    I love the fact I am in my late 40s getting healthy and defined along with loosing weight and all the cheerleaders are turning into grandmothers who look like 55 gallon drums with legs as well as the really fit sports team girls that would not give me the time of day back in high school…..and many have been married and divorced many times the wall chased them down and crushed them…making me chuckle…

    When this video ended, I stood up & applauded for 5 minutes.

    She puts her life on youtube, brags about having warts, cheating on her boyfriend and how much she loves giving head (not a bad thing, i’m a guy!!). This is why she’s a pump and dump, no-one is paying full price for a used thot with high mileage.

    Any woman whose google search shows she has genital warts at the bare minimum will have hard time to get any man regardless of her age and looks.

    Amy Horton is a joke, there is plenty of Red Pill takedowns of her delusional articles online. She has 4 digit notch count, genital warts, mental issues and has hit the wall, no wonder no high value guy wants to LTR her.

    There is a big menu in front of me but all the dishes are hideously overpriced…

    She unashamedly admitted to having contracted genital warts in a previous post and doesnt tell any new man thats she goes with. In fact she tells them that she has an “extra clitoris” tee hee hee if anyone notices. Yeah, you go girl! God only knows what other vile asymptomatic STD’s she’s incubating and has zero qualms about passing on to anyone who is daft enough to try his luck with her. Its not a condom you’d need its a frigging hazmat suit…

    She’s a “Strong independent wimminz who don’t need no man”, what’s the problem?

    Hmm…so after blowing off a bunch of guys she being blown off by a bunch of guys…ha

    Stay away, these women have baby rabies! They know their baby oven has an exp date!

    This is not a video. This is Ph. D. lecture on modern women. Greetings from Serbia!

    Oh and by the way, Amy Horton has genital warts. Facts! She even wrote a blog about it. So she’s a feminist, she’s smashed into the wall, and she has warts too? Nope, walk off the Lot!

    Post wall feminist commitment to dying alone and not settling is doing Darwin a favor ! Gene pool is made stronger by removal of arrogant, delusional and narcissistic femmes whose independence eventually morphs into profound loneliness ?✔️.

    “And when they are no longer able to lie to themselves they call their doctors and tell them “I don’t know what’s wrong with me!” And what ends up happening is… They get prescribed Lexapro to keep them from attempting suicide during the day Klonazepam to calm their anxiety about the fact that the most meaningful relationships they’ll have moving forward are with their cats and her favorite wineglass and Ambien to knock her out at night so she doesn’t have to listen to those voices telling her the truth about herself”

    But wait! what happened to all of her articles about self-love and not needing a man because she appreciates herself?!

    Plan a date? Since she wants a date, not the man, she should plan and pay for the event. I’m am sure that she would never consider spending any of her feminist paycheck on a date.

  3. David says

    Certain negative beliefs that Amy has are identified, in these comments.

    This is an everyday site. Young women reject countless men and when women reach a certain age they get rejected by the majority of men. The circle of life. Now it’s women’s turn to get this treatment

    Since feminist through their system and society have outlawed demonized and vilified men at every level, I seriously have my doubts that face to face interactions will ever come back. Even if the laws were changed many men will never forget. Sincerely a 33 year MGTOW monk.

    Female solipsism! That is why you can’t trust women: They are not responsible for their action and they will always blame every but themselves!

    1st guy..’Hey you know Amy? I’m thinking of asking her out…)
    2nd guy..’Dude, you mean Horton with the Warts-On????’
    1st guy..’Wait….WHAT?’
    Mix oversharing on social media and thotery and this is what ya get luv.

    Wow, sounds like she is JUST NOW learning what simply GROWING UP taught me almost a DECADE ago, and I ain’t even broke 30 yet! xD

    Yes! Feminism is the best thing to happen to homeless CATS.

    women on dating apps complain that men arent creative enough in introducing themselves or to keep the conversation going…but theyre just as bad and uncreative…they just want the advantage and first right of refusal

    Reading replies, are better than any novel.

    with all due respect this and many other women think that their stock is always rising when it fell a long time ago and the shaming language MS.HORTON will never understand that the wall is there she just cant believe she hit it hard she obviously bumped her head hard.SMGDH

    Welcome to our world ladies

    Woman try to benefit from the old idea men had about women. Before the feminine movement men actually had interest in women with the thought of establishing a future with them. Now that women got on this liberation train which they feel is the right to behave however, wherever they want they’ve become oblivious to what men want. These women these days have no idea what being feminine is. you can’t play life like men do and still get treated like a lady. Why do they think we have to tolerate a woman who isn’t feminine!! They don’t understand that men see no value in them and have no intentions of taking them serious as a potential partner.

    She had a good man, but she cheated on him and plenty others cause the guy in her first real relationship her did it to her.

    When you here her say.. “I’m not like other girls.” Her truth is.. “I’m worse.”

    It’s a shame that it’s always seen as a problem with the guys. They never face the fact that it could be them.

    They only give it away to the top 10% of they guys on Tinder

    The 20% of men that she thinks are attractive enough and rich enough are not finding her, anything more than a pump n dump or a distraction, from obtaining a younger more attractive woman…!

    Lol. Every guy turns her down, but they are the problem.

    Men might be swiping left on Amy because a few minutes with a search engine will reveal that she has genital warts and psychiatric issues.

    She has value to men in their 50 and 60’s.

    Time eventually catches up, older (30+) women are not not marriage material, men want to make babies when they seek relationships. Equality is a lie !

    It’s always a buyer’s market. The issue is that women are born rich and grow poor and men are born poor and grow rich. The smart women invest on potential and get the payoff later. The rest? Well, Ms. Genital Warts up there is their future.

    Ms Horton didn’t value her sexuality, why should men.

    When you’re accustomed to special treatment your entire life, equality feels like oppression

    Hey Horton, did you ever think that maybe because you’ve announced to the world that you have genital warts, is why you’re not getting dates? before they even get anywhere near that you, they know to avoid you

    It’s amazing how all the women that do this are just so surprised when they hit the wall and no one wants to be with them anymore. The excuses they make it can’t be me it must be tinder and dating apps or something else. Amazing how they don’t even think at all that it might be them that’s the problem.

    Best comparison. She’s basically end of career trying to catch a championship contender to give him a 5-6 year deal at age 35. Not happening chief

    Thank God that she held my place card until I was 27 and finally I realized that I would die alone if I didn’t start acting better and being better. I am all for MGTOW. It’s the only way these women will start acting like ladies. BTW ladies it may just be the way that you’re acting or how you take care of yourself. I’m 35 and I still get hit on all the time. It’s just truth. A lot of times it’s for my looks but sometimes it’s also for my personality . By good looking younger men, men my age and of my status and by a good-looking rich older men as well. I will admit though that I rarely get hit on by a single, uncomplicated attractive men my age. But that’s just because they married a younger, uncomplicated single woman after you.

    The poisonous feminist culture has left many women in their 40’s and 50’s alone and not in loving relationships. They are not virtuous and not valued.

    Ah. Amy Horton. Terrence Popp has dissected her numerous articles on several occasions. It was great to hear your take, as well.

    There is a great saying that has been used by women for centuries. It’s not you, it’s my issue. Well right back at you girl. What the man says today is listen love …. its not me, it’s you… Go MGTOW stay away from the female sociopathic species.

    A stock market metaphor for women: Women are not an appreciating blue chip stock, they are a stock option and all options experience “time decay”. In other words, they always go to zero when they expire and all options have an expiration date.

    Men always seem to be the ones who get the raw end of the deal. Most women today, can spread false advertisement, entitlement, and conceited behaviors on to other women because of their own personal bad decision making. They can try and deny the Fact that woman will, and has always been able to use the sexual market to their benefit in this digitally designed environment we’re all trapped in today. 40yrs ago, what you mentioned, about what woman were looking for in a man is definitely valid, but that does not exist in todays society. Now there’re still a small percentage of woman left in the western district part of the world who still value the more traditional way of male and female roles. In the todays crappy so-called stable society, it’s always the woman who make the common statement, “where have all the good men gone”, as if their are only good woman left, and no bad ones, or unworthy woman in the world. The double Standards, intentionally designed collapse of the family unit, and empowerment of women over men, has created the unstable society we’ve gradually become today. I love the female form, the naturally nurturing nature of a female’s psyche. But when the deliberate push to make women at like a man is forcefully shoved down the throat of the population, by monstrous juggernaut like power corporation’s, it becomes overwhelmingly apparent, that this system we now live in today, was manufactured to become unbalanced, unbearable, and woefully dangerous to humanities existence. I’ll be happy when the women of today don’t find what’s naturally programmed into their female psyche for family. Because most of them will unfortunately end up lonely until their deaths.

    Welcome to the average Joe’s dating life my darling

  4. Jerry says

    Are you willing to ask yourself a few questions to change your beliefs and change your life?

    It is interesting to look at negative belief systems, since they shape one’s life. here’s a list I found:

    I’m not enough (e.g., good, educated, thin, young, smart, rich enough).
    I need to make others happy so I won’t be rejected.
    I can’t be happy until he/she changes.
    I have to earn other people’s approval to feel good about myself.
    If I let people really get to know me, they won’t like me.
    I have to stay in the relationship because I can’t make it on my own.
    If I’m happy even when others are suffering, it means I don’t care.
    I can’t be happy until the relationship/career is different.
    If they really loved me, they would _________________.
    I need to do more and more to be worthy.
    I don’t know what I want.
    I shouldn’t put my needs before others’.
    I’ll never really change.
    I’m responsible for other people’s happiness, and they’re responsible for mine.
    I don’t deserve love, success, money, fame, etc.
    If I pursue my own interests, my relationships will suffer.
    I don’t have time to nurture myself.
    It’s too late for me to find happiness and success.
    If I speak my mind, I’ll be rejected.
    I should be farther along than I am.
    I’d better not be too happy, or I’ll just have farther to fall.
    Things will never work out for me.
    I shouldn’t have to ask my partner for what I want.
    I’m a bad/unlovable person.
    I need fear to motivate me and keep me in check.
    I’ll never make enough money.
    I’ll always have to struggle, while others have it easier.
    Whatever I’m doing, I should be doing something else.
    Health problems will always keep me from happiness and success.
    I can’t do it.

    Negative belief systems FILTER experience. If you don’t believe men, or women, can be loving partners, that you deserve, you won’t see potential loving partners you deserve. Feminism is one vast interlocking complex of negative belief systems, about men. SUre, there are a few trophy husbands, here and there, for feminists, probably paid under the table the way Oprah paid Stedman Graham. But real men know just how dangerous and draining feminists are, and avoid them. What’s the best way to avoid them? Just be a nerd. Be the guy you were in high school. They think they are going to attract the alpha male. So don’t be alpha around them. Be a beta simp. It’s the best feminist repellant there is. She’s never going to challenge your camouflage.

  5. Mary Anne says

    Negative Love Scripts? Oh, wait, you must mean like, feminism.

    Fan the fires of hatred for men, with resentment, until they are white hot. Celebrate false accusations against men. Demand “equality” of pay, but not equality of work, because you want to take every other day off for women’s problems, and have a year of childbirth leave, and privileges no society has ever had, not for long any way.

    here’s a thought, ladies. Troops that have been shelled with artillery, and seen their buddies die, start taking cover, when they hear a shell coming. Troops that saw a buddy downed by a sniper are very cautious. And that is what you have turned yourself into- a hostile force.

    And now you want to wave a white flag, and come over? Yeah. Right.

    If you want to change your negative belief systems, it could start with TAKING RESPONSIBILITY for your life, instead of blaming outside forces. It could start by studying other people, watching and learning, as you realize you don’t know all there is to know. It could start by paying more attention to people’s good points.

    Feminists like to bitch about rapists. Let’s put that to bed. Men have mothers, aunts, sisters, female cousins, nieces, daughters. Most men hate rapists with a passion. Want proof? Rapists in prison have the lowest status of any prisoner, and often try to lie about why they are there. They get beaten up and killed at a higher rate than for any other crime. Even convicts hate rapists.

    If a woman doesn’t like my company, I leave. Immediately. Why would I waste my precious time?

    Most people, not just men, respond very well to RESPECT. That’s where it starts. Respect. From that you get rapport. You cannot have rapport with people who don’t respect you. Then, you get communication. We are only truly alive, when we are connected, as Khalil Gibran said. Healthy systems have healthy
    communication. Then we find cooperation. Cooperation is how humans survive, and prosper.

    Feminism starts with gross, hateful disrespect. Which destroys rapport. They certainly don’t listen to anything, so communication is gone. I find very little difference between feminists and sturmabteilung, except that feminist uniforms are unique. The behavior is identical. Feminists have no idea what cooperation is. The metaphorical similarity of feminism to cancer is 100%.

    If you want to drop negative belief systems, recognize you just don’t know. Start listening. The Universe is always teaching. Drop your crystallized beliefs. Pay attention in the moment. Observe. Ask open-ended, respectful questions, and listen to the answers. Most people are more than willing to help people. Start asking people, and the Universe, for help. Start asking yourself what you truly seek, and then ask what the next step to get there is. And take it. learn. And repeat this simple process.

    By way. Navy SEAL training is probably the toughest training in our country. The “gazelles”, who effortlessly lead the pack in a run, tend not to do well. It is the people with heart, who maybe come in last, or fail, the first effort, but dig deep, and pass the second trial, who do the best in the long term.

    It may be that life is a school, that we enter, to learn lessons. if so… those with heart, who refuse to give up, do the best.

    Men seeking wives, i.e. long term committed relationships, know very well that the 10’s, the gazelles, will run off at the first opportunity. They also know that the women with heart, who refuse to give up, who just persist repeatedly in the face of disappointment… will stay the course, in marriage.

    Get off the drugs and alcohol. Today. They are poison for your dreams. Get rid of the sugar, the corn syrup. The Bragg people, Patricia for one, have good ideas on diet, as does Dr. Richard Schulze’s website. Simplify your life.

    Meaning flows from the spiritual side of life. You make your living by what you get. You make your life by what you give. What could you give more of, to help people? Acting on that question, daily, may lead you to your dream job.

    Ask more open ended questions.
    What would it feel like, to be in a committed, loving relationship, right now, with a great person?
    How can I improve myself, today, having fun as I do it?
    How could I realize I create my life, by my beliefs, choices, decisions, and actions?
    What blessings would the Universe like to heap on me, today? How can i be alert for them?

    • Jerry says

      42 year old regrets leaving her fiancé at 19 to sleep around; warns girls not to do the same
      97,869 views (((((The comments below make no sense, because the first page, as below here, didn’t post. This introduces the comments that follow this page.)))))

      Donovan Sharpe did a review of a Daily Mail article, about Karen Cross, who was engaged to be married a 19 to a Man she respected and loved. They wanted to buy a house, have children, and live the dream of having a family…

      …until Karen abruptly decided to leave her fiancé at the alter in favor of the single life style to party in her 20s. Now 2 decades later she regrets that decision and warns girls to learn from her mistake https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ih3vHtlO01I

  6. Jerry says

    Donovan Sharpe did a review of a news article in the Daily Mail:
    I left the love of my life because I thought I could do better, now I’m 42, childless, and alone
    His title is: 42 year old regrets leaving her fiancé at 19 to sleep around; warns girls not to do the same
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ih3vHtlO01I

    Donovan says a few interesting things, which aren’t as relevant. But what I most enjoyed was the comments, which precisely point out some limiting beliefs. Following are a few of them:

    There’s no guarantee that if she stayed with her fiancee and married him that she wouldn’t dump him later, raping him for alimony and child support. It sounds like the guy got lucky

    Women always want what they can’t have. Married women want the single life and single women want the married life ? women dont know what they want ?

    Most women will never admit they were wrong, and just blame it all on some guy.

    You chose a 20yr carousel ride. Now it’s time to pay the toll

    I didn’t have your best years, I refuse to tolerate your worst. – = MGTOW = –

    “Matthew was crying and pleaded with her not to leave him.” Guys, if woman wants to leave, dont turn into little beech, give her a good kick in azz and move on.

    Straight results of feminism.there are millions just like her out there. Buy stock in cat food.

    The old societal model was: A young woman would trade her youth and fertility exclusively to only one man, and he in turn would be the workhorse and take care of her when she gets past her prime. This was a great incentive for men to work, become men, and get married. You got a prize, a young beautiful loyal wife. In theory, as we know life isn’t perfect. She does him a favor early on by being a virgin/exclusive and later he does her a favor by staying and supporting her instead of leaving her for a younger woman. They both get a prize. The new societal model is: Women whore around and waste their youth and fertility on Chad/Tyrone, get walled out, get STDs, lose their ability to pair bond, rapidly accelerate their aging process with excessive alcohol and fast food, and have no loyalty to any man. What sensible man would pay top dollar for something 90 other men got for free? The incentive for men is gone. You don’t get a prize anymore. You get a parasite with an entitlement mentality that’s looking to take your resources and then some. Before you even say “I do” at the altar, she’s already plotting how to financially rape your ass in family court when she divorces your sorry ass in a few years. Why do you think she’s smiling as she’s walking down the aisle? A woman’s main reason for getting married is to get a divorce. You’re expected to pay a premium price for a used up, beaten up, soulless woman from the bargain basement bins of some store in the hood with the morals of an alley cat, an in denial, freak of nature, pathologically delusional, self-esteem deficient, morally bankrupt, bottom dwelling, blood sucking, inhuman, creature of the night, bitch on wheels, spawned from the seed of Satan, and a boil on the buttocks of the world. When she dies, the last living reminder of hell will be gone from the face of the earth. She has kids from Chad/Tyrone or both, personal credit card debt, no assets, school debt for a worthless degree in liberal arts or gender studies, no cooking skills and no desire to learn any, no fiscal responsibility, an overly banged vagina, and a pet you’ll be expected to take care of as well. And you’re supposed to be happy about this opportunity to lick up the scraps from the floor. The so-called good men she wants and can’t find are out there. They just don’t want her at the table because she has nothing to bring except financial and emotional pain. When women say, “Men are only after one thing”. Meaning sex. My question to them is, do you have anything else to offer. Crickets is all I hear. Which means even they don’t believe they have anything else to offer. In addition, she also has great expectations you’ll do everything for her, make her feel better, and provide an unrealistic unsustainable lifestyle she feels she deserves because she read about it some feminazi magazine article that hates men. All this while she cheats behind your back with the “bad boys” she really wants while you’re at work paying all the bills to feed this little parasite. Women don’t “love men”, they love what men can do for them. Where are all the great art works female artists have created, inspired by their love of men? Men are not afraid of commitment or marriage…. Men are afraid of getting divorce raped in “family court.” It’s just a bad deal and there’s nothing in it for men except the chance to be financially ruined for the rest of your life. If you were thinking of going skydiving and were told that one in four parachutes failed. Would you still be so interested in trying it out for the thrill of a lifetime? If you saw your friends and people before you jump, some successfully, others not so. Would you still be so excited about taking that chance for yourself, hoping that you’ll be the lucky one that gets one that works? But… but…. Look how pretty the parachutes are, smell their lovely fragrance, touch and feel how soft they feel, they beckon you to try one of them on, please try me on and let me wrap myself tightly around you and see how good I feel to you, I’ll hold on tight and snug to you, I am not like the others, honest I am different, I’ll work. Well….. would you do it? Would you take that chance for the thrill of a lifetime? The odds are in your favor, three out of the four will work. Would you do it? Yea, that sounds like a good deal if I were a moron, is this the line I stand in to lose half my sh!t? Good luck with that. Men are waking up and realizing this system is defective and toxic. Women’s sexual liberation, feminism and the birth control pill, have ironically dis-empowered women. They are throwaway sexual objects now more than ever.

    This is the end of a social experiment. Less and less men are bailing these carousel riders out.

    • Charles says

      1 in 4 parachutes failed? Dude, 70-90% of divorces are started by women. WOMEN. We are talking about 4 out of 5 parachutes failing.

    • Marissa says

      There was a woman in the small town I used to live in. She was totally wild in the sixties, she played with the Haight Ashbury crowd, she slept with dozens of men, did some pot, and so on.

      And then, around 30 or so, she decided to get married. She found a religious guy. They got married. She is now totally conservative, very fundamentalist, and a real stickler for detail. She flipped polarity completely. She is very tough on her children, not in a good way, and they don’t have much to do with her, now that they are adults. Her marriage isn’t totally happy, but she’s satisfied with it.

      The difference is that nowadays, a woman like this would have a much tougher time finding a guy. Fewer and fewer men are willing to take a risk on a woman like this. That woman’s husband was raised in a time when men, and husbands, were respected. Most women were not the total energy vampires that so many women are today. Divorce laws were different then, the risk that guy took was not the same as a guy would have today.

      Those men of my family, who were of the WW II generation, had women available to them, as potential wives, women who had been trained for the job. They knew how to run a household well, they knew how to sew, and cook, and sometimes, even how to make simple repairs. Many did work, at least part-time. They were courteous. They had female friends, who supported them, and older women, that entrained them on useful paths. Men who played around were not considered very honorable. Men were entrained to be good fathers, and husbands, believe it or not. They had a society that respected and honored marriage, married men, and women. Men might play around when young, but they were expected to be married by say 25-30. And they had a lot of societal support. Kids through the 1960’s could play in the neighborhood, because people knew each other, and would look after other people’s kids. I’m not saying there weren’t dark things happening, obviously there were, but they were fewer than now.

      Nowadays, parents don’t want to let their kids out much. People don’t know their neighbors. Men and women alike work in demanding jobs and kids aren’t getting the attention they need. Society is crumbling. Look at the national debt. It grows. Any fool can see there will come a time to pay the piper, but congress fiddles while Rome burns. I will not take any political views here, but I suspect that the president we have got a lot of votes, by people who were sick of the mass media, sick of Congress, sick of all the sickness in society, and they voted against that, rather than for the one we have no. No political opinion is expressed here, both parties are pretty bad.

      That woman who did the Haight Ashbury thing, is now in her 70’s. She goes to church, she does her gardening, I recall hearing that her husband passed two years ago. She knows she will pass the veil, in her time, also. She would like more time with her children, but they are far away. She knows some loneliness, and gathers with her female friends, at times. I wish her happiness, and that she finds the peace she has sought, for so long.

  7. Jerry says

    She never truly wanted the guy that loved her deeply, she was only willing to settle for him after the other guys bailed on her….

    She belonged to the game, now the wants to be a wife… GTFO.

    While females ask, “Where are all the good men?”, men are asking, “Has there ever been any good women?”

    Women; a word of advice. If you find a man who is willing to devote all of his energy and time into you rather than diversify himself among multiple scores of women, do not take him for granted. Show him respect and be thankful that he chose to turn a blind eye to other women and solely focus on your wellbeing.

    she had her winning lottery ticket at 19 and threw it away

    Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

    I’ve been in a rock band for over 20 years. we have a pretty big following. and the number one type of women that hit on us are married. guys watch your wives even if their husband is with them they have slipped us numbers right under his nose

    Women think they can marry a rich guy a la ‘Pretty Woman’ movie. They think all they have to do is open their legs for right guy. So improving their traits men find attractive gets neglected. Hence women like this.

    She did him the biggest favor by not marrying him. He dodged a giant bullet

    I got married at 19 and we are still married 27 yrs later. I am so sick of people telling me/us we are lucky. Luck has nothing to do with it. My Husband is the head of our house, meaning the Leader, we (the children and I, look for and to his leadership) We willingly submit to his plan because we trust his ability to keep our best interest. I’m not Lucky and neither is he, we just understand our roles and expectations, we have built trust and an amazing family together.

    She had a fun ride now she wants her man back its to late ????????

    Just so you know, this story was in 2013 and not a damn thing had changed. Any man that gets married knowing the situation deserves everything that happens to him.

    Hypergamy backfiring at its finest. I wanna feel sorry for these women but the 18 year old nerdy kid in me wants to laugh. I’m 35 now, hit the gym and took care of myself and make good money, I look at these types of girls with contempt. The industry I work in is one where most of our customers are women and it’s funny as hell to see them throw themselves at the younger men thinking they still got it, granted there are quite a few milfs around but the majority not only hit the wall but smashed through that shit. They never think how their young decisions are detrimental for their older lives. They’re really nothing useful now other than a fling

    This woman is just dripping with narcissism and arrogance. Sounds like Matthew dodged a bullet. I hope he’s enjoying a great life!

    After the entire article, it’s clear he was/is beta. She left to get alpha seed. Post wall, the game always changes to “beta need” (security, loyalty, finances, retirement). it’s so typical that when they can’t pull alpha (WALL), they default to BETA. She would have divorced him anyway.

    She said “I could put him on ice and return to him” ??‍♂️ “Many women will mistake contentment for boredom!” SOLID!

    Guys – If a girl wants to leave you – say good and move on. They will never change.

    Had this woman gotten married, she’d have divorced him to get back on the carousel and experience everything she’d missed. The only difference in this story is that she’d now be divorced and whining how she divorced the love of her life.

    That kind of person would be unhappy in marriage also. Its not just about choosing wrong path – its thinking about herself only. She would always think about something which she has not achieved. Now it is family, when with family she would think opposite.

    So she didnt get married at all. Women complain about what they did to themselves.

    And this is why men choose MGTOW. I do not feel sorry for this THOT because she did it to herself.

    “Women always follow bad advice” So freaking true, they will legit do the opposite of the right thing…. on purpose

    1- Men don’t have biological clock 2- Men progress or age like wine or gold 3- women usually age like milk 4- there are more women than men 5- Women are dependents of the government men dont. 6- Men can happily live alone 7- IBMOR,MGTOW,HERBIVOREMEN phenomena are spreading 8-Foreign women is better options 9- Sexbot is safer choice 10-Men no longer care and put themselves first 11-Men refuse to be cleanup men akka step daddy or community eunuch 12-Men realize they are the prize 13- Women usually pursue the master of universe that the 95/5 rule 14-Men are fed up with westernized women Narcissim and entitlement 15- Men are leaving the Gynocentric plantation in great number 16- The Gynocracy will collapse with male exodus 17- The red pill knowledge is spreading like wild fire 18-Men understand women hypergamy 19- Women have way much more needs than men

    My ex high school gf thought she could come back with 4 kids and 3 fathers of her kids while weighing over 300 lbs ha ha ha.

    Women will Look across the fence for greener pastures Only to find Its Artificial turf and the Fence behind them Is Closed. ??‍♂️??‍♂️

    My sister had a mean personality. Her looks were reasonably good in her 20s and 30s. Later she put on weight. At age 49 she got sick. She had no kids or boyfriend. She became aware that her illness would be fatal. She did not live her life. She put off everything until it was too late.

    Terrence Popp always says”40 to 80 is a long damn time, with no male company, for a woman”

    7:01 If she was willing to marry down fincially, there are plenty of good men out there that would be glad to be a good husband to her and father to their children, but she won’t do that. Men on the other hand, have no problem doing that. Woman have priced themselves out of the market. Most women that are in upper management or C.E.O’s of large companies making six digit figures are ugly and well educated. They learned early on in life that no man is going to pay for them, so they had better learn how to support themselves and earn a living. If they are making six digit figures they will not marry a man making less. They want a good-looking man who also makes a six-digit figure or more. Problem is, good looking guys making a six-digit figure don’t want anything to do with them. They can get a younger better-looking model and they don’t care how much money she makes, how much money she has, what kinda job she has or if she has one at all, what kinda car she drives, or where she lives, how big her house is or if she even has a house. Women are not capable of thinking or doing anything like that. They want to keep what is theirs and not share, and they want to spend and use what is the man’s for themselves. They are naturally parasites. All of those items are important to women, even if she is making a six digit figure and can afford to comfortably support both of them. She’s not having it, she won’t do it, she’s selfish. She wants her money for herself and wants to spend the man’s money on herself also. It’s just their nature to be parasites and offer little or nothing in return. Women will not marry down financially, although men have no problem with it. There are plenty of good men / nice guys out there that would be happy to be their husbands and would be good husbands to them and good fathers to their children. Problem is, they are plumbers (who make dam good money by the way), garbage collectors, store clerks, shelf stockers, building maintenance/ janitors, landscapers, car mechanics, construction workers, law enforcement, fast food store managers, heavy equipment operator…… These girls don’t want those kinda guys because of the type of job they have or the amount of money they make. It doesn’t matter to them that they would be good husbands and good fathers. They “say” they want a nice guy, but when they have a nice guy looking at them in the face, they just look right through him if he’s not a doctor, lawyer, or upper management on some large corporation. So, when they say I just want a nice guy, they don’t really mean that. They don’t give a rat’s ass if he’s nice or not. This is “code” for what they really mean. What they really want and what they really mean is they want a rich guy with resources they can have access to. How would it look to their girlfriends if they were married to a plumber? Oh, the horror, the embarrassment. Funny, guys don’t have that problem with women. How do you look naked and will you have sex with me, are pretty much the requirements men have for women. I thought women wanted to be equal? Women want the power of men, the privilege of being a woman, and the responsibility of neither. Let me know how that works out for you. Good luck with that.

    “Unconditional love does not exist.” I partially agree. It does not exist for men. As Chris Rock said, women, children, and dogs are loved unconditionally. Men are loved based on the condition that they provide something.

  8. Jerry says

    “they’re not going to want you 12 yrs… 30 lbs… 3 kids… and 2 abortions later…” – SAVAGE!!!!

    yep. she went to do double monkey backflips on chad and tyrone (Shout out to coach Greg Adams) and when she least expected it, she ran out of branches.

    That story speaks volumes. I know two women who ran that route – – one of whom I had dated who put me in the friend zone. They’re both in their sixties and unmarried.

    A childless career woman who has lost her fertility has utterly failed at life, and has become a cartoon caricature of a man.

    Feminist doctrine ruins EVERYTHING that comes in contact with it.

    Men don’t leave their women when she loses her job, and he will work harder to cover the money loss from her.

    The problem with most females is they aren’t satisfied, no matter what, because they aren’t happy within themselves. They always need someone else to make them happy. If they ride the CC, as Donovan illustrated in this tale, or if she had stayed with Matthew, she would have despised him, either way, because she would have thought she missed an exciting life. She’s self destructive either way. Why bother with them?

    Women, Mother Nature is cruel. Get a husband and cherish him or turn 40 miserable and alone.

    So she says Matthew was her best friend. Nice of her to drop a ton of shit on her best friend. She got what she deserved.

    The entire point of this article is to try to coax Matthew to get back in touch with her. This is just another Birthday and Christmas card. She is even stalking him in their hometown.

    Too immature and probably the best thing to happen at 19 for the man. Don’t cry over spilt milk guys.

    this is what happens when you ride the carousel to your detriment even when her own father told her to think before she left him because she got jumpy/itchy to sleep around years pass and now she still thinks has a chance all MEN move forward and we will NEVER look back food for thought or a bitter pill to swallow she just stated that this man cherished her and she still left

    And the reason I want a girlfriend and all the drama that comes with it, risk losing half or all my stuff, risk being falsely accused of rape, possible loss of my job over her false and vindictive accusations, possibly do jail time over it, spending MY money on things SHE wants while she complains I am not spending enough of my money on her even though she has her own job, her own money, claims to be independent, doesn’t need a man, secretly hates all men and considers all men to be toxic, to be her “pack mule” through life to support an unrealistic unsustainable life style she has seen on television or has read about in some femanazi magazine, and finally just dumps you after sucking your bank account dry and then monkey branches to her next victim that has more money than you. ……………. is because? Please tell me again why I want to be in a relationship. I keep forgetting. I can hire someone to clean and cook for me, and on those nights I get a little lonely I can pay for companionship to someone who will at least pretend to like me and I still come out way ahead financially and emotionally.

    The woman who says she wants to marry you, is the same woman who wouldn’t bat an eye at leaving you broken, emotionally, physically, and financially for a good time sleeping with your best friend and his brother.

    Donovan you are the GOAT for this mane. You are 1000% accurate on this video. I’m 33 and see women my age or older regretting the decisions they made when they was with me or some other guys I know. It feels good to have no regrets on my end.

    It’s a sad thing that happens to young men. They are around 20 or so, find a woman that they want to marry thinking the woman reciprocates his feelings. Reality comes crashing down when he find out she’s been seeing other men behind his back, or she took him for hundreds of thousands of dollars in child support after a couple of years of marriage. He then watches as she goes through one guy after another as he is working 80 hours a week to pay for his mistake of being a caring person and thinking she would appreciate his willingness to commit to her. After men hear their whole life that women have been mistreated and used and are only looking for love and commitment, the man is shocked to find out he’s nothing but a pawn in a game he can’t win. By buying into the popular media’s narrative that men should bow to the purity of feminism, he is primed to become a walking wallet for a woman. After a decade and a half of giving it up for free to whoever comes along, she all the sudden demands that a man work tirelessly to prove he is worthy of even seeing her naked. It makes no sense that her husband has all kinds of conditions to maybe get some a couple of times a month, yet guys who make no commitment or effort to do anything for her get it unconditionally. I hope young men wake up and don’t fall into the trap of women. You only have one life, why spend it with a court ordered obligation to fund her ride on the CC. If you think she really loves you and wants to be with you for life, think again, it’s an illusion.

    SERIOUS QUESTION! Where are all the Hollywood movies about women like this to warn the next generation of these realities???

    Feminisma is an arm of communism. The goal has always been the destruction of the family and the abolition of private property. The method is first deceit then murder.The west was overrun by the seventies.

    THE BILL COMES DUE, ALWAYS …

    She didn’t love him, she loved his “time” and the lifestyle that he could provide. Once she desired the “time” of multiple men above of his, she was gone. She actually did him a favor. It’s better to have this happen before they get married then to divorce him and leave him heart broken and paying child support..

  9. Jerry says

    I ❤️ being a bachelor. Peace, Quiet and Freedom. MGTOW.

    Karen Cross was very honest and dare I say….brave… to expose her feelings and mistakes to the entire world. She needs to go on the lecture circuit and tell these college chicks about her experience. She won’t get another shot at Youth and Beauty as that ship sailed a long time ago. She can pay for sex if she is a strong independent woman or she can marry DOWN. Leaving Matthew due to the crash of 2007 was quite a shallow move. He came back from the brink of doom and now she wants him back? Yeah!

    This is just hypergamy. She wants more…simply more…and Matthew is merely her current mental manisfestation of ‘more’. Women will literally choose misery over happiness because misery provides more drama. Don’t be fooled by her story of regret. She would be equally miserable either way. The only difference, if she had gotten married, is she would be making her husband’s life miserable as well.

    She needs to understand all those years of riding the CC has ruined her ability to bond. She can no longer be led by one man. She will get “bored” and find an excuse to bed hop.

    NATURE ALWAYS WINS!!! Everyone keep fighting this for some reason. A man if value knows when he have a woman that RESPECTS him. Most men can’t figure out the difference between the Promiscuous women and the LOYAL ONES. Before my dad died of Leukemia he told me “WITHOUT RESPECT THERE IS NO LOVE”. Figure it out!!!

    The FUN bit is the all those”sophisticated” corporate type guys avoided her and her masculine, corporate mom demeanor for the HAPPY, go-lucky young chicks at Starbucks!!!…

    “Embraced the single life with a vengeance” = sexual depravity not seen since the days of Ancient Rome

    Yep, she’s got that glazed eyed, dead soul look, “The Thousand Cock Stare” if you will. Mounting pole like a gold medal Olympian. Used to look so feminine and sweet at 19, now a used up soulless liability. Ladies, You do it to yourselves

    “Simple, bad advice is easy to follow. Good advice is hard to follow.” And with that Mr. Donovan, you have earned and Sub and Like

    A “good woman” is like a Big Foot sighting: there are many sightings to indicate it’s a real phenomenon, but there is absolutely no scientific evidence, just shakey, out-of-focus stories and mental images.

    Aren’t they all “Strong and independent wimminz who don’t need no man, stunning and brave!” What’s the problem?

    Older women having kids might as well be called “Ballpark Franks” because they all plump when you cook ‘em

    The only thing I disagree with you on this, is how you excuse a woman who leaves a guy who goes through a rough stretch. If a man did the same thing to a woman, he would be roasted over the coals. It sounds like you were showing a little bit of blue with that comment.

    And another one hit the wall And another one hit And another one hit And another one hit the wall.

    She deserves every bit of what she’s going through. It was her who didn’t listened to anyone and chose the wild life instead of the stable one.

    She had the guy she needed when she was 19, but choose the CC ride for over 20, I bet she hit that guy up, 20 years later hoping if he was single that he would give her another chance.

    I know a chick that’s going to be this in 10 more years. She left a dude that wanted to marry her and ended having a baby by a dude she can’t stand and was never in a relationship with.

    15:43 Oh god. The “hey, stranger!” feeler emails and texts. That’s too real.

    Most women these days ride the cawk carousel until they hit the wall and then they marry the beta male provider.

    What is happening is just the beginning of another big short First women are made considered UNFEMININ, RISKY and TOO EXPENSIVE Then the SEXBOTS will soon come into the equation because THERE IS A NEED. Then women will lose their political pull. Why? Because the simpeconomy will collapse. The business will mostly cater to men, since men will spend on THEM and for them. Finally, women will try to compete with the ever-growing sexbots industry by being FEMININE AGAIN. Unfortunately, aint no such thing than the robotisation pandora box. But hey, they in a sense did that to themselves.

    The Matthew guy was weak…When he got dumped, he continued to be friends with her. Even to the point of almost hurting his next relationship…Learn that lesson gentlemen. When its over, move on. Don’t look back.

    “Embraced the single life with a vengeance”. Translation: She went on a trampage.

    Karen is giving her side of the story only. What were Matthew’s thoughts? Does he view it the same way? I’m curious. “Content is boredom” applies to individuals whom have never had to work for anything; they’ve put zero effort into their gains.

    Your channel has some great content, I must admit as a female that a lot of these truths are a hard pill to swallow but they really need to be said.

    Some chicks think that they are Jenni and every dude is Forrest Gump still waiting for them.

    Stretched out meat curtains, anyone? Yummy, yum, yum, yummy, yuuucckk!

    dude!, you’re not kidding!!!, I changed my dating profile to; ‘wants babies’ and holyshit!!!. I had to close my account due to overwhelming response. Most were over 35 yrs., old.

    Getting on the Carousel is free , you pay when you get off

    Matthew was her backup plan. But he didn’t see it that way.

    From a professional healthcare providers perspective, I see this all the time at work, women over the age of 37 start having all kinds of medical problems until they die. If it’s not hormone related, then you are looking at cardiac, pulmonary, urinary, gastric issues. Many women don’t take care of themselves, even when given professional advice, they refuse to take care of themselves. Why would I get married and throw good money after bad, for medications, doctor visits, surgical procedures and such for someone who doesn’t even want to help themselves. Women are not only a bad investment with regards to your time, emotions, intelligence and resources, but money as well-MGTOW FOR LIFE

    Unfortunately even if she stayed with her man, she’d be complaining about something else.

    Women never believe in the struggle. They want to just wait at the finish line and f#ck the winners.

    You said it right when you spoke of women leaving you in their mind long before they physically leave. Unfortunately i experienced this nature and behavior from my wife. There’s that day you demand answers to what’s wrong: the words” I just haven’t had any feelings for you for a while now”….WHAT?!? So you’re just telling me now!?!? The worst is when you can tell they are getting counsel from some other guy, as her language changes. Hate that! Knowing she’s talking to another guy and that Guy is giving her advice on how to leave you. One thing I’d like to point out is how women’s nature is to be indecisive. The one huge problem with this is they do this with men’s lives. Women have NO problem with stealing a mans time, all while they are deciding what to do next. Women are never held accountable. It’s like one big joke / game for them. The modern woman is nasty , masculine, and not worth it.

    • Peter says

      “Women have NO problem with stealing a man’s time, and money, all while they are deciding what to do next. Women are never held accountable.”

      So true.

  10. Jerry says

    Damn dude im going thru this exact same thing.. My gf of 5 yrs decided to break up wit me to sleep around.. Not even 2 weeks shes calling me back saying she wants to hook up with me again…. She got ran thru and apparently they couldnt do what i do… So now she wants me back… Everything u said on here is absolutly true! Listen men to this guy bc almost word for word is what im going thru now… Good show bro keep it up

    The current female stupidity is nature’s way of weeding out women who are too hypergamous, independent, or book smart.

    Married 8 yrs and 2 kids…. and then she finds her soulmate. Wow!

    Ayn Rand ” You can ignore reality, but you can not ignore the results of ignoring reality……”

    Karen, oh Karen, did you listen to yourself? The next generation of women coming your way are like Karen Cross on steroids. I keep on hearing from friends and family who have young sons that these young women who are in love with them, leave them, in tears and claiming they are in love, for no good or clear reason… I do not understand the profound stupidity of these women (shaking my head).

    So ridiculous how she wanted him to stay available for her but she didn’t want him back she just didn’t want him to be with anyone while she rode all the D she could get. She is still slighted to this day about not being able to have her old man back now that the cock carousel is slowing to a stop.

    Poor man. How many nights was he in misery knowing what she was probably sleeping with some dude. Probably spent years getting over her if he did at all. Hope he’s doing well knowing that in the end, he dodged the bullet and that this wasn’t his fault.

    Proverbs 14:1 a wise woman builds her own house. But a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands.

    It’s sad that her ex fiancee was probably this well meaning, nice little man who would white knight for her all her life and basically be a beta provider, and she turned him into a raging Chad haha.

    Dude im 30 and i really dnt know if i want a relationship anymore?

    Its a woman, they are incapable of thinking. The act according to what they “feel at the time” she probably felt a little nervous like we all do before a life changing event, so she left, not feeling nervousness anymore problem solved. The rest of her life was lived this way, “this feels good, so im going to do this” “this doesn’t feel good, do i won’t do it.” Now she is full of regret.

    Ms Cross’ regret is moot. I would bet my life savings that Ms Cross would have divorced Matthew inside of 10 years. But I guess she would have at least gotten the children that she claims to have desired.

    cool! a career. Money dont prevent you dying, money dont bring memories and money cant buy a loving husband. My mother always told me that being loved and fulfilled is being rich. You can always make more money.

    Women are their own worst enemy. They ruin their lives and then we are supposed to feel sorry for them. Also, let’s face it some women are never happy no matter how good they have it.

    Thats what we call KARMA..No doubt she hurt the guy she passed up at 19…now o it’s come back at her at 42…

    Unconditional love does exist…..from my dog.

    This is a common theme among thots. Always chasing better lol. Ending up with nothing

    My ex left me yesterday because she didnt want to dress nice or wear what i asked her too. It wasnt even a everyday thing since we arent married. Hell, even if we were id ask 2-3 times a week. she didnt wanna please me when i asked for it. Intercourse i understand she wanted marriage for that but it was just oral. Eventually she got tired of me asking and she began cursing me out, calling me a dead beat and said to stop telling her what to do. funny thing is im not married or have kids. also said i never loved her and even threaten me with arrest. I swear… these black woman are insane. All i wanted was her to be feminine. She said i was her 1st crush n love. We were together for 4 years total and plan to marry. A woman who doesn’t want to do her duty is a red flag. Being 26 she has no time to get to know another dude for 3-5 years and marry and have a kid. She wants “kids” shes gonna be what? 31-32? Idk what shes lookin for but Shes screwed. Im this great guy but now i aint shit for wanting a feminine lady. i can see this story happening to me and im not taking her back.

    You can choose your actions and inactions but not the consequences.

    Dude, your videos are the best. I am glad I found your channel. I stopped screwing with these women and wasting my time several years ago. I am totally MGTOW

    Every man she runs across now knows that she’s been cracked open by various guys. She cant say anything to dispute that, and she knows that. She will be a turnstile for the remaining years of her life. Her best bet is to marry down, a beta, that she doesn’t want.

    It does make her a bad person bc she is a woman, remember men, women Don’t want you nor can they love you, they are like Satan they want what you have thats it. They are the ENEMY.

    Women when they got everything: “This is good! I got a guy and life seems to be going well… but… can I get more happier than this ?? Why not! I’M ON A ROLL BABY! THROW THEM DICE!!” Women after hitting the wall and looking in hindsight: “I’ve realized a mistake has been made…”

  11. Jerry says

    somewhere out there, matthew is either watching this video, or has reflected on life about what may have been with his ex-fiance and is laughing his head off.

    Let’s be real. She doesn’t miss Mathew. She misses Chad & Tyrone. Mathew is still second choice for this ICE queen.

    Respect is the key. She needs to respect you. That is all you can really go after when it comes to women. Because they all act and do the same shit. I have been married 30years. Met my wife in her youth. Respect is all I ever wanted and respect is what I got for 30 years. And it works. I know modern men just don’t see it but men today are too emotional. That is why men are unhappy. They are looking for love and not respect.

    If a woman wants to split up. Even though you may be hurt, bottle it up, smile and say ” Okay thank you”. Believe me she just saved you from a unhappy future

    Most women today don’t want to build with a man . The kind of guys they rejected in there 20’s is the kind of guy there looking for in there 30’s . Why because rejecting a man makes woman feel more valuable for the moment . Women have little regret or remorse when they have many options . If you did not want him at his best then why should he want you at your worst . Always holding out for bigger and better in the end is a losing game . I had a woman who rejected me many years ago then she popped back in my life thinking I’d forgot the past well you had your chance .

    Damn according to the picture she looked bad at 19.

    If that was the love of her life she would not have left. Now she thinks he was her “soulmate” cause she has had a bad life …

    8 years ago, I was a no-body. I was in my early 20s.. College dropped out, no job, and living with my parents. I have nothing, but I did loved this woman. She said I had no dreams, ambitions or goals. The year that she left me was the year I decided to change my life by going back to school to get an education. Pass forward 8 years, now. I would say I am more successful than I was 8 years ago. I am now an electrical engineer at NASA and an investor. I have been single all these years… Sometimes I still think about her. People change over time. He may be a loser today, but that doesn’t mean he will be a loser for the rest of his life. in life, hardship will come. Your true lover or friendship show its true self when you are rock bottom.
    Read more

    What a deranged and stupid trick! And women wonder why men are saying, hell to the nah to serious relationships these days! ??

    So very true! I’ve seen a lot of women who’ve ditched good men & now they’re single, unhappy and on meds for depression. And they’ll never be happy. Good riddance

    At 42 she’s just target practice for Chad and Tyrone.

    8:33 “MAY”??? You got it wrong bro, the feminism lifestyle “WILL” en up in Loneliness, Regrets, Cats and Wine!!!

    I’m a filmmaker and was shooting a documentary on this lady artist in her mid 50s, I’m 29. Somehow we started talking about relationships during a car ride to set location. She opened up and said in her 20s she had made the biggest mistake of her life by leaving her husband and kids for another man who she later realised wasn’t what she thought he was. Said she was consumed by lust at the time and that she has never been able to find a good man for 30 years. She admitted that the guilt and regret of what she did still haunts her till today. She’s still looking for a man and her ex husband is happily remarried.

    This is the price you pay when you’re always chasing for greener grass. She could had gotten married over 20 years & blew it I’m favor of wanting something better. Now you’re a spinsters & the man you could had married has own family with another woman. That woman could have been you, but you choice otherwise…

    Jesus!!! Stalker much? What a freak!!! Move on thot.

    The main reason women have boy friend s is so they can always have someone to blame for their unhappiness.

  12. Jerry says

    As the other part, because other woman made the same to me, I can say I’m not sorry about her, in fact I’m glad she is miserable, just the aftermath of her own actions. I loved a woman a long time ago, I really love her, but her never give me any chance. So I moved on, and do my own life as good as I could. Not perfect, but a couple of girlfriends, long term relationships that didn’t work, nothing to complain about. Almost 19 years before, the woman mentioned appeared from nothing, with a daughter. Nothing so wrong, a single mom with one kid is acceptable, barely but acceptable. She hit one or two walls, she was not 16 years old anymore. She pretended that I felt the same for her, that I was her own “Captain Saveahoe”: She proposed to have “sex, for fun”… Yeah, to get her pregnant and lose my freedom, for her, nothing left to offer but alimony for life, and in best case scenario, marriage, sunshines and rainbows and to mantain a child that is not mine. Nothing agaist the girl, but I was way beyond her mother. Also, I had some kind of grudge, her rejection was hard to me when I was 17 years old, it made me feel like shit, and my self-respect was the only thing that keep me moving on. The same self-love made me reject the leftovers of a woman that I used to love. Love yourselves guys first, then love someone else. TO WOMEN: The guy that loves you will not be around forever. Someone else will pick up the guy, or like me if he has some self-respect, he will not accept what is left from you. The only guys left in your 40’s are beta SIMPs or psychos that will say whatever they have to say to put your guard down, like women beaters or alcoholics.

    MANY women: God, why won’t you send me a good man?
    God: I did… and you treated him like crap

    a man needs a woman like a bicycle needs a fish ?

    Gotta love how this lady had some crazy confidence and ego for working at what probably was a feminist magazine. Like being an editor for a random magazine was something that someone would look at and think…wow. When I read career women etc I expected much better.

    This is the kind of story that makes me smile. The only GOOD feminist is a salty wall-crushed feminist.

    Enjoying the hypergamy, feminism, and riding the carousel riding at a young age will lead to 30+ women unmarried with multiple children, bitter relationships and expecting some man (or men) to clean things up for them. It never works.

    Unlikely to have a family of her own? She still hasn’t accepted the truth. I wonder how she will speak when she realizes that her life is a tragedy.

    Still till today these thots think they can get any man they want the other day I was with a friend who this woman approached us ranting About her x boyfriend who my friend knew well this woman in her Late 50s early 60s ranting like a grade school ghetto gagger into thinking she was still a prize and I looked at my friend and SAID IMAGINE WAKING UP TO THIS REPULSIVE OLD GOAT..EVERYDAY..my friend already knew where I stood..woaaa..men need to understand don’t eat crap just to have a relationship your the prize wake up…

    Feminism lied to all women promising , They can have it all and never having to deal with consequences .

    My mom an dad been married 74 years in July they are 91 an 89. They stop making women like that in my generation because I haven’t seen a lady like mom.

    Never settle, ladies, Mr. perfect is just around the corner. ?

    She better start hiring gigolo’s ,the only happiness she’ll have

    Reminds me of a line from the movie Master and Commander, “You don’t make friends with the ‘foremast jacks’, lad.. They’ll despise you in the end, think you weak.”

    Truth be told though the artificial bionic avatar they can transform into via makeup and bodyshapers…and new reproductive tech….and credit seems to trick them into not wanting traditional marriage anymore thinking they can extend their sexual prime for about 5 or 10 yrs..but becos they are not self aware like men….they cant see all the variables at play in the dating game…their own nature and time and and biology and etc etc….oh dang here comes mgtow..and PUA and time and gravity and their own human nature..and being stuck in their own ways and the econony and tragedy and the 1000 kok stare and the insanity that comes with riding the cc and their inability to parlir bond.mmso after they keep partying the end up with all these variables stacked against them….and they have no way out…..well the good thing for fellas id we get more booty to play with but sadly….sometimes a fella just wants a quality good one to settle with..and not get divorce raped but…????

    I bet “Matt” read that article and felt the world’s greatest vindication, the sweetest schadenfreude. Lucky man.

    Women appear to always want what they don’t have, and when they gamble and lose they inconsolably mourn their ‘loss’ inflating it far beyond what it ever was. To a man, a woman is like an employer While you’re performing things are good, but a bad quarter can see you lose your job or be replaced by a new person. The smart response for a man is to always perform, job hop and never out stay your welcome. Its easier to get a job when you have a job. The parallels are uncanny

    Instead of the grass being greener, she fell into the dirt pile.

    I have worked around and closely with many women over my business career. A consistent comment that many women made was that they did not like working with or for other women and most preferred working for a man. Many women I have known have also stated that women are crazy. These comments were made without me asking or soliciting the comment. With that being said, I offer a quote from one of my favorite movies. In the movie, “As good as it gets”, Jack Nicholson, who plays a writer in the movie, is just leaving the publisher. The young female receptionist asks Nicholson a question. Receptionist: “How do you write women so well?” Nicholson: “I think of a man and I take away reason and accountability.”

    Mens love can be so strong he will sacrificed his own life for the ones he loves and sometimes for a total stranger. Woman’s love can be so strong on the condition that there are no other options left.

  13. Jerry says

    Typical woman don’t want you thinks she can do better, then realizes you are the better but wants to keep you In Reserve until she is done getting ran thru by thugs and bad boys lol naw now your in the friend zone. I love watching women try to come back and I play the games on them and make hem suffer lol

    The bottom line in that western women in most cases are not marriage material. Who needs it.

    How does this feminist think she qualifies for giving advice? And why does she think girls who are her former self will listen to her anymore than she would have?

    Had she instead chosen to marry Matthew she would today be bemoaning that decision. Saddened that she didn’t experience more of life, squandering her best years on one man and resenting her husband for preventing her from “finding herself”, complaining of the sacrifices of motherhood, yada, yada, yada. A life long relationship with these emotional and hypergamous creatures is a no win situation for a man. Women are destined to be unsatisfied regardless of the path they take. In the absence of a firm patriarchal society it madness for a man to take on the legal risks and burdens of a woman, and even within a patriarchy the ROI still isn’t in a mans favor.

    no sympathy since during the 90s women said nice guys finish last as they laghed going for the bad boy. now they cry me a river and say why.. its called justice

    “A loving husband and family”=commitment

    It’s men who watch you but it’s thots who need to watch you Mr. Sharpe.

    Didn’t listen to her dad. Didn’t listen to her fiance. Now she’s miserable. Had she listened to the men in her life instead of reading all those feminist books and articles, she’d be a married woman with children.

    She wanted to “explore”, to have a taste of new “emotions”, she was too young to commit to a good guy. Poor baby. How many times we need to listen this bs? Isn t it she was too stupid to understand? For some reason this story reminds me my last one. I still remember my words to her: “You are choosing material stuff over a good man who loves you, you are aware of that?”

    Woman tried to monkey branch and fell flat on her face

    The hormones for excitement and contentment is two separate hormones. If all you’re ever doing is chasing feelings your body practically loses the ability to feel deep meaningful contentment or connection. This is because the building blocks for the two hormones are the same so if you’re only triggering excitement you body will only build that hormone. That’s one of the biggest drawbacks from our I want it now society… it literally destroys our ability to feel contentment and connected.

    I can guarantee ten years down the road, she would have been bored of his crap and wondering why she didn’t jump ship when she had the chance. Human beings… the grass is always friggin’ greener on the other side of the fence. Hell, my ex and I split up after ten years and I still wake up a touch sad I’m alone, and yet beyond relieved I don’t have to deal with someone who hates my friggin’ guts and having to watch everything I say because it just started fights. These days, gunshy and most of the women my age are the same. We’ve dealt with the BS too long and it makes us not wanting to jump into another round.

    Always be the breadwinner. Always compete hard. Even if you have a woman. And you will never have any troubles with women.

    Hahaha this is what my ex did and she’s already regretting it

    She put him on Ice, just like a cold beer! Niiiice. NOT

    her choice..20 years thotting on the carousel ride or happy marriage to a man who loved her and would have nicely provided and kept her..she betrays him and now karma is incoming

    THEY COULD HAVE IT ALL AT 19 OR 42 DONOVAN! THEY WILL NEVER BE HAPPY!

    I was once an orbiter of an unbelievably beautiful girl and while hanging out I overheard her say something to her boyfriend over the cell phone that I never have forgotten.. From his end of the phone I could hear him being this obsessive emotional wreck over her. She said “stop loving me and obsessing over me this much .You are not a challenge ” I think this girl’s fiance many years ago had this problem. Too easy of a conquest. Maybe not as pathetic as my example, but just too amicable. And amicable breeds ” boredom” she was completely feminist indoctrinated so her boredom was going to come eventually anyway. The contentment that her grandmother would have been happy with is boredom according to feminism.

    Men appreciate in value. Life is tough for us in general, but there is an upside. We start at the bottom, but gradually rise and peak. Women have largely easy. They peak faster, but level even faster and decline quickly.

  14. Jerry says

    Terrence Popp calls that the sling back effect.

    women arnt worth long ter relationships these days,

    Hypergamy is a girls best friend. It’s self destructive to their happiness. Add Radical Feminism: get your career, you don’t need a man or family. Ladies is you have man/husband appreciate him team up with him.

    Well…..she can always be a nun.?

    Thank you for bringing some sanity back. What crazy world we live in. Greets from Germany.

    The worse you treat women the better they treat you. Most men don’t know this. Those who do live the life of Riley with women. ?

    My message to Karen Cross. Enjoy your new superpowers for now you are invisible to men!

    That crazyness is not a rare case unfortunately.

    Wow the guy on thus Video is so 100% Accurate everything he’s saying!

    Unconditional love does exist… ever heard of a dog?

    This chick needs to lower her standards. She expects a 8 or a 9 dude now forget it. You know she has guys on the sidelines but she deems them lesser or low value

    I ain’t paying a premium for a garage sale item.

    men – tell your young friends – we have to realise we are trading all that we are when we agree to marry and have children with a woman. that is the deal the way it should be. we are making a commitment FOR LIFE, even if it fails kids and the responsibilities of a good father never go away. if it goes perfectly you are promising to trade every other woman and opportunity for the chance to work your arse off to provide for your family. It is worth it..but she has to be worth it and so few women are. OUR BODY – OUR CHOICE Men – do not marry a Whore. do not marry or get involved with a single mother – do not get involved with a woman who has had an abortion., do not marry a woman over 30 who has already given her best years to someone or something else..you wlll never be the priority you deserve. Any of these and she is not worth the price you are committing to pay
    Read more

    Pretty much the story of my life, but I never got married or had kids. Now, in her late 40th, she’s telling me she was young and dumb. Guess who’s life is great…
    1

    It’s hard not to sleep around?! LMFAO, can’t believe how people work these days, wtf.

    Another argument for a traditional Christian relationship where a man works and she stays home and takes care of the kids.

    Thank god im red pilled THANK YOU GOD

    She was a victim to her her own hypergamy

    She was raised to be that way. Todays daughters around her are raised to be that way.

    Like Al Bundy said,”women, you can’t live with em….” That’s all he said.

    Just started watching your stuff, love it, subbed

    actually…what I found unnerving in all of this is that she kept tabs on the same ex SHE dumped….as if hoping/expecting him to be some lovesick puppy waiting for his master to return?! And even better, she is jealous that he found happiness, as if surprised that he could ever find another woman after her and that she was hoping he’d wait for her for over 20 #$@#$ years? The balls on this lady are unreal…!

    I am sure she is not happy that he is happy without her that is what hurts her the most .. ;)..

    I see it all the time, the women in their 40’s with a dog living alone and miserable ?
    1

    “Maybe Matthew wasn’t the right man.” Yeah, keep shifting the blame to others and/or circumstances of the consequences your actions have made. Typical women.

    Because Matthew was not Alpha and I will guarantee you the girl was not a virgin before Matthew. This is the consequence of promiscuity – women never pair bond.

    The masculinity of Australian women is off the chain! They’ll be the wealthiest women in the cemetery some day…. Jordan Peterson- the masculine energy is order. The feminine energy represents chaos.

    I know 100 more like her????dumb broad??? i am so glad i was a tomboy. You men taught me well.

    “There once was a handsome Prince” It’s on YouTube, type it in. You’ll love it Btw, really really good. I passed along to my son (who is constantly talking to his ex) Thank you for posting this.

    This goes along with the same idea that women seem to have that they can have a career and still have a full family life. What a lie to give in to. It would seem so obvious.

    Millennial women are virtually all carousel riders, the damage is done. Generation Lost.

    But feminism said she can do what she wants and its all good

    It’s ironic that after that many years it’s still all about her. That’s feminism for ya.

    She’s an alpha widow…..[a woman that the alpha males abandoned, as they have much better prospects]

    The Can’t Understand Normal Thinker got just what she deserved. Makes my day to see the rest get it too.

    Just ran across this guy…he’s great. I like him, terrence popp, coach adams too.

    My man dodged a bullet. I’ve had a couple of girls like this in my life and In retrospect they do men a favor by leaving them and other men favors for getting them laid. It’s a win win, thank you feminism Oh and wait there’s more? These women in their mid 30s on that are having kids on the spectrum or with other mental and developmental issues are trying to find blame on everything else but themselves for having 30 guys a year, booze, weed, fucked up food, too much exercise and starvation diets ??? I love seeing these pieces of shits who destroy men’s trusts and waste their money and time suffer. Sorry to be crass but I’m being honest
    Read more

    When I was 21 I was dating a 19 year old that I was head over heels for. This is basically her story. I see her around town now and then and feel a mixture of sadness and relief. Sad because she is this lady you describe and relieved because I dodged a bullet. Six years after we broke up I met my wife. My ex found out I was engaged and sure enough she called me up and wanted to get back together. That was the first time I truly saw her for what she was. Luckily I was way over her. I am now happily married to an amazing woman, have two wonderful children, a great job, and a home. Plus as an added bonus my wife is sweet, beautiful, athletic, a great mom, and makes me laugh.

  15. Jerry says

    Yup. I know one in her late 30s. Got the high paying corporate job. The house. The grown daughter and decent child support till child left home. The dog the cat. The late model Benz in the drive. Absolutely miserable and can’t figure out why she can’t found a good man. Side note… shes also completely psycho and abusive yo anyone close yo her and pretends her behaviour never happened. Has sent at least one guy to prison for domestic abuse and has had a few more in court for similar. Sad times for cupcakeThere are two ways to learn a life lesson and easy way and a hard way : if you don’t learn your lessons the easy way you’ll learn them the hard way ( old bulgarian sayng ) … I have a story that i beleve is similar to this : When i was in my early 20s i found myself discarded by woman for another man and let me tell you : while i was rejected twice before and while it was not good in both times i moved on succesfully , this time however it was hard for i was deeply in love with her (stupid , i know) … Needless to say her dessision broke me , but hey this is life , hardships are bound to happen from time to time, so i’ve acceped it , picked myself from the grown and moved on , it WAS hard but i put that iron will , i’ve always boasted having , to work … Fast forward 4 – 5 years later and i was in a long term relationship with the woman that i would marry eventually , have a extremelly well payed and sweet job ( i’m able to work from home ) , bought nice car , a Harley ( it was always my dream was to have one ) and own the most beautiful house in my hometown ( a historic hundred years old five store house build by an austrian architect for a very rich merchant , ornaments and all ) and i was quite happy …. Until bitch showed in my house …. You know the sayng ,, The road to Hell is paved with good intentions” ? She came to my hometown ( a small town on the Danube river in northwestern Bulgaria ) and she somehow menaged to find many friends of mine , who helped her find me thinking they were doing me a favor by reconnecting me with an old friend from my univercity years ( that’s what they thought and the irony is those weren’t gullible people either ) … So she enters my house ( my wife let her in ) , saw my large front garden and even larger orchard in the back and the exotic birds ( peacocks , pheasans , peageons and even chickens and ducks all of them roaming free in my orchard and she was a bird person ) in it , the amasing view of the Danube and the whole city , my big turtle pond and my huge the koi pond , my 75 000 litter fish tank full of all kinds of fish , my dogs , cats and iguana and all the plants ( flowers , herbs , spices and veggies ) my wife and i planted together and , and you guessed it : she refused to leave ? … And it wasn’t she wasn’t joking either , her exact words were : ,, im gonna stay here with you and you cannot convinse or force me to do otherwise ” … So after a long and hard disscusion she finally agreed to leave next day to her hometown of Varna where i was in uni and where we have met many years prior and also where she had walked away from her husband( the guy she dumped me for ) for no reason other than her inabillity to take his his criticism for not having a job ( in Bulgaria women who don’t have a job are usually considered lazy and worthless , but mind you that stay at home moms are accepted because they have the most important job of all ) and acting like a child ( with her actons she kinda proved him correct ) … Anyway , after i get her on the train to Varna the next day , i simply cound’t stop thinking of how naive she was , like serously what was she hoping for : that i wait for her to have a change of heart ( she dumped me for the other guy because he had a car and and stable job ) , that i left my then girlfriend and accept her with open arms ( by the way she begged me to do it ) … My guess is that just like the lady of this story she looked back and realised her mistake , but it wad too little , too late ( so lesson learned i suppose ) … ?
    When I met my wife I had a good paying job and considerable savings. She made less than me and had no savings. She respected me and followed my lead. Then she switched jobs. Within a few years she was making a great deal of money. Suddenly I was stupid, and she started giving me orders. Men don’t want to be given a “to do” list at breakfast and then grilled over dinner as to why one of the ten things was not accomplished. We don’t want to be demoted from spouse to staff. Women are naturally bossy. Being successful turns them into tyrants. Oh, and she was too busy and tired to have sex–at all. When our child turned 18 and moved off to college, I divorced her. Good riddance. Sure I’m not nearly as well off financially as I once was, but the shrew is gone. She has not remarried. Who would want a frigid, bossy middle-aged woman? Women, WE NEED YOU TO BE WIVES AND MOTHERS! We don’t need you to be breadwinners. We don’t need you to be head of the house. We need you to do that which we cannot do. Take off the pants and put on a dress.

    I know women like the one in this story. They all told me I was crazy to marry at 21 ~ but that was 27 years ago and we’re still together!! One of these old friends now posts vacation pictures of herself alone with her dog, and captions them from the dog’s POV!?Pathetic. I KNEW getting married young was the right decision, and still think it was the best decision I ever made. I have 3 sons and worry about the good women they might not end up ever finding…?

    Recently found your YouTube. It’s refreshing to hear this type of content. I can’t disagree with you. One part in particular really resonated with me. Being a military spouse, I saw so many young women who were in love with the idea of having a soldier, but rarely ever loved the man. They loved the idea of taking pictures with him in uniform; but rarely cared to take care of him after a long day at work. They were also the first ones to cheat during a field exercise or deployment. They loved the idea of being married to a soldier but couldn’t handle everything that went with it: long working hours. Deployments. TDYs. Field exercises. Change in orders. Etc. Divorce was(is) common and the woman typically went with another soldier. The pattern continued.

    Like all women she kept the picture of her former fiancee as a trophy.

    Even when we get dumped we still win ✌?❤️??

    Cock carousel made her miserable,destroyed her present & future,Galatians 6:7,remember that,”LADIES”!

    Social media plus feminism plus alcohol equals the end of femininity.

    Women just get used to being in demand, wanted and of high sexual value when they’re young and then they ride that high until they hit the wall. The problem is that it’s too late to change course once you do that. You wasted all the time you had when you were still young, beautiful and desirable by sleeping around and enjoying being chased and you can’t get that back when you’re in your forties. For some of life’s mistakes, there are no second chances.

    She told me you’re everything i need but not what I want. Shell be alright

    Her article screams “Take pity on me!”, even though she is totally undeserving of pity. The main thrust of her article is to garner attention and sympathy (and a beta male to come and rescue her from the consequences of her mistakes), not to warn other women not to make the same mistakes she did.

    Girls wont learn from this. They’re too hypergamous and self serving.

  16. Jerry says

    Those who fail to learn at the feet of their parents and grandparents
    will learn their lessons under the feet of strangers.
    -African proverb

  17. Jerry says

    One of the comments posted didn’t post. THis should be on top of the above 4-5 posts.

    42 year old regrets leaving her fiancé at 19 to sleep around; warns girls not to do the same
    97,869 views

    Donovan Sharpe did a review of a Daily Mail article, about Karen Cross, who was engaged to be married a 19 to a Man she respected and loved. They wanted to buy a house, have children, and live the dream of having a family…

    …until Karen abruptly decided to leave her fiancé at the alter in favor of the single life style to party in her 20s. Now 2 decades later she regrets that decision and warns girls to learn from her mistake https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ih3vHtlO01I

    • Jerry says

      There’s no guarantee that if she stayed with her fiancee and married him that she wouldn’t dump him later, raping him for alimony and child support.

      It sounds like the guy got lucky

      Women always want what they can’t have. Married women want the single life and single women want the married life ? women dont know what they want ?

      Most women will never admit they were wrong, and just blame it all on some guy.

      You chose a 20yr carousel ride.
      Now it’s time to pay the toll

      I didn’t have your best years, I refuse to tolerate your worst.
      – = MGTOW = –

      “Matthew was crying and pleaded with her not to leave him.”

      Guys, if woman wants to leave, dont turn into little beech, give her a good kick in azz and move on.

      Straight results of feminism.there are millions just like her out there. Buy stock in cat food.

      The old societal model was:
      A young woman would trade her youth and fertility
      exclusively to only one man, and he in turn would be the workhorse and take
      care of her when she gets past her prime. This was a great incentive for men to
      work, become men, and get married. You got a prize, a young beautiful loyal
      wife. In theory, as we know life isn’t perfect. She does him a favor early on
      by being a virgin/exclusive and later he does her a favor by staying and
      supporting her instead of leaving her for a younger woman. They both get a prize.

      The new societal model is:

      Women whore around and waste their youth and fertility on Chad/Tyrone,
      get walled out, get STDs, lose their ability to pair bond, rapidly accelerate
      their aging process with excessive alcohol and fast food, and have no loyalty
      to any man. What sensible man would pay top dollar for something 300 other men
      got for free? The incentive for men is gone. You don’t get a prize anymore. You
      get a parasite with an entitlement mentality that’s looking to take your resources
      and then some. Before you even say “I do” at the altar, she’s already plotting
      how to financially rape your ass in family court when she divorces your sorry
      ass in a few years. Why do you think she’s smiling as she’s walking down the aisle?
      A woman’s main reason for getting married is to get a divorce.

      You’re expected to pay a premium price for a used up, beaten
      up, soulless woman from the bargain basement bins of some store in the hood
      with the morals of an alley cat, an in denial, freak of nature, pathologically
      delusional, self-esteem deficient, morally bankrupt, bottom dwelling, blood
      sucking, inhuman, creature of the night, bitch on wheels, spawned from the seed
      of Satan, and a boil on the buttocks of the world.

      When she dies, the last living reminder of hell will be gone
      from the face of the earth.

      She has kids from Chad/Tyrone or both, personal credit card
      debt, no assets, school debt for a worthless degree in liberal arts or gender
      studies, no cooking skills and no desire to learn any, no fiscal responsibility,
      an overly banged vagina, and a pet you’ll be expected to take care of as well.

      And you’re supposed to be happy about this opportunity to
      lick up the scraps from the floor.

      The so-called good men she wants and can’t find are out
      there. They just don’t want her at the table because she has nothing to bring
      except financial and emotional pain. When women say, “Men are only after
      one thing”. Meaning sex. My question to them is, do you have anything else
      to offer. Crickets is all I hear. Which means even they don’t believe they have
      anything else to offer.

      In addition, she also has great expectations you’ll do
      everything for her, make her feel better, and provide an unrealistic
      unsustainable lifestyle she feels she deserves because she read about it some
      feminazi magazine article that hates men.

      All this while she cheats behind your back with the “bad
      boys” she really wants while you’re at work paying all the bills to feed this
      little parasite.

      Women don’t “love men”, they love what men can do for them. Where
      are all the great art works female artists have created, inspired by their love
      of men?

      Men are not afraid of commitment or marriage…. Men are
      afraid of getting divorce raped in “family court.” It’s just a bad deal and
      there’s nothing in it for men except the chance to be financially ruined for
      the rest of your life.

      If you were thinking of going skydiving and were told that
      one in four parachutes failed. Would you still be so interested in trying it
      out for the thrill of a lifetime? If you saw your friends and people before you
      jump, some successfully, others not so. Would you still be so excited about taking
      that chance for yourself, hoping that you’ll be the lucky one that gets one
      that works? And the odds of divorce are ONE in TWO.

      But… but…. Look how pretty the parachutes are, smell their
      lovely fragrance, touch and feel how soft they feel, they beckon you to try one
      of them on, please try me on and let me wrap myself tightly around you and see
      how good I feel to you, I’ll hold on tight and snug to you, I am not like the
      others, honest I am different, I’ll work.

      Well….. would you do it? Would you take that chance for the
      thrill of a lifetime? The odds are in your favor, three out of the four will
      work. Would you do it?

      Yea, that sounds like a good deal if I were a moron, is this
      the line I stand in to lose half my sh!t?

      Good luck with that.

      Men are waking up and realizing this system is defective and
      toxic. Women’s sexual liberation, feminism and the birth control pill, have
      ironically dis-empowered women. They are throwaway sexual objects now more than
      ever.

      This is the end of a social experiment. Less and less men are bailing these carousel riders out.

  18. Eddy says

    I found this interesting article, on a woman’s thoughts on marriage.

    It started with the hair. First, many of the women I knew were growing it out. If their hair inched past their shoulders, my developing theory went, a Facebook announcement would soon follow: She had gotten engaged. Was there a more obvious way than long hair to signal your readiness for a wedding updo, followed by a lifetime of legally enshrined gender roles? I started feeling a little relieved when someone would show up with a fresh bob. //Yes, long hair on a woman does attract men.

    I only noticed this because the things that trouble us are also usually the things that interest us. To my horror, starting around the time I turned 27, I could not bat marriage away: It felt contagious, in the conversation — and you couldn’t deny that it really suited some people, like jumpsuits. Even Beyoncé was singing, in dubious duet with Drake, that getting married was all she could think about. It was irrational and useless, but I was starting to tell myself it was possible there were people for whom it worked. Still: Marriage was — it remains — my most embarrassing interest to date.//How very modern. A simple thing like that is embarassing. What kind of a world have we created?

    Just three years before my mind started to change, my older brother had announced his engagement. After an argument about a lifetime of complacency and Netflix (my then-definition of marriage), we stopped talking for several months. He’d been with his girlfriend for nearly a decade, so why now this change? I knew I was being unfair, but, I thought, so was my brother — after all, he was bucking family tradition.//Was he? Or maybe he wanted to commit, to hold onto someone worthwhile? Maybe?

    I’d assumed that not valuing marriage was in our blood. Our reluctantly married and long-divorced parents had projected a political distaste for the institution, save in a few specific legal instances. This meant I’d heard about its problematic history before I’d been to any weddings, which might be why I’m invited to so few of them.///Yep, that’s very likely. And parents’ poison on a subject does spread.

    None of it made sense, not for my brother, not for my supposedly progressive friends, not for me: If you didn’t need insurance or a green card, why bind debt or take on the regrettable identity of “wife,” a stuffy, outdated-sounding title that seemed to resonate louder than all others? Why get legal sign-off on what is basically just a plan to never break up?///Uhh, maybe because it’s a way to make commitment into a physical metaphor?

    I was a true marriage nonbeliever, not like other people in their 20s, flirting with an alternative path on their way to the inevitable. If you were with someone long enough, I knew, you could count on nosy people to ask about your plans to marry. But I hadn’t believed I would ever ask myself the same question.///And the river flows, and in time, hits the rapids… we don’t typically stay in our 20’s forever.

    Because my marriage fantasies began around the time I finished graduate school, I first attributed them to a life that felt uncertain. I’d put everything I owned into storage and gone to Russia, where I worked an array of part-time jobs remotely. It was dark more hours than it was light, and I spent a lot of lonely time picturing domesticity — but, I told myself, those scenes were just a lazy person’s way of filling up a vague future. When I returned, got a salaried job and a new apartment, I attributed the preoccupation to newfound stability — and scoffed at that too, because it was also irrational and so typical.///The Red Pill people call this hamster caging. Men do it also, but not nearly as much. Some would call this denial, also.

    I blamed friends’ noxious desires to marry, ring pics, my parents’ divorce, and marriages that actually seemed moving. Mostly, I really didn’t want the assholes who said, “You just haven’t met the right person yet” to be correct — as though love were all it took to shake your lifelong convictions.///Clearly their were currents moving inside, for you to be able to say this. Interesting.

    But the thing was that I had met someone. Someone with whom the possibilities of fun and partnership felt infinite. I’d lived alone for half my 20s, and now I was curious about who I might be with someone else.///Like a natural progression in life.

    It hadn’t occurred to me that to occupy a marriage-resembling long-term relationship while never actually going there wasn’t taking much of a stance. After cohabiting in my very early 20s, I swore that I would never live with a boyfriend again, and until the week I turned 29, I didn’t. Once we lived together, I noticed some social shifts: We were invited to dinners with other couples, where the pronouns directed at me became plural instead of singular. A piece of paper might be required for some things, but not to take our places in a romantic narrative that was easy for others to follow.///Yes. In the summer, plants flourish, too.

    Once or twice, strangers mistook me for an actual wife. It was sort of gross, like the time a driver delivering us to a hotel who intended to say only to my boyfriend, as he slammed our luggage into the trunk, “So you brought the old lady along, huh?”///You were also changing, too.

    But secretly, I was excited. There was something warm in the idea that we could be married. There was no rationale for this — how would marriage be substantively different from what we had now? It was infuriating. I wanted the whole idea gone, but it was lodged in my head, and appearing everywhere around me.///Hamster-caging. Could be your body talking, too. Except that feminists deny the truth of the communications of the body.

    There was another frustrating aspect: To get married is a decision two people ultimately have to make. To date, I’d made all my big life choices by myself. But by definition, the choice to get married can’t be made alone. And though heterosexual men so often initiate marriage, the questions around it don’t seem to afflict them in the same pressing way. I didn’t know any men analyzing haircuts. There were no wedding magazines for them. My interest in marriage felt, in this way, too, fundamentally unjust.///Yes, it takes two to tango. The questions AFFECT them in different ways. And yes, it is different for women, than it is for men. This is a form of sexual dimorphism, you might say. Men are not women, women are not men. In today’s screwed up world, this is a major revelation, somehow.

    People who marry are almost never asked why, but people who don’t plan to are, so I’ve ended up with a lot of opinions about marriage. I don’t see how you can opt into a very old tradition, in large part because it is tradition, and also see fit to make it your own: Giving up the walk-down-the-aisle parental hand-off doesn’t do much to erase marriage’s creepy history. Saying “partner” — a term my mom once called “the triumph of capitalism” — doesn’t do much for gender inequality. For years, any time I ended up in conversation with a woman explaining her conflictedness over marriage, offering amendments and apologies while futzing with a ring, I felt tired. Was someone making her get married?///It is tradition. Yeah. “gender inequality” is with us forever, sorry. There is no way you can be made over into a man. The only people who have gender equality are pushing up daisies, in those nice manicured areas inside fences, you know, with those stone tablets above them.

    I was confident I could evade any social pressure around marriage. But I’d underestimated actual desire — or, at least, my own. And like most of the theories I’ve had, marriage has turned out to look different in practice. As people get married, I can see in their marriages the things I admire and, even more to my taste, the things I’d do differently. I’d treat it as a deepening, but not a final destination. Anniversaries would only be worth celebrating at maybe year ten, after you’d really proved something. I’d never use the word “hubby” or write a laudatory Facebook post about him performing a basic life task such as cooking dinner.////Yes. When my body starts talking to me, telling me I have to go to the bathroom, I go. And, you know, survival of the species and so on, your body talks to you about marriage, partnering.

    The only thing more annoying than the cringe-worthy depictions of marriage I see around me is the desire itself, which feels beyond logic or control. And the aspect of marriage that once seemed most laughable, the legal plan to not break up, even though technically unenforceable, has turned out to hold the most appeal — its very preposterousness making it tempting, like a dare, or a jumpsuit, or food at the state fair. The whole thing is totally irritating, but it’s true: I ended up, at least for now, a long-haired sellout who wants to get married, too.////Yes, it is beyond logic, or control. It is deeply visceral, at a very basic level of life. Survival. And your body is talking to you.

    • David says

      This article is so very typical of American women. They waffle back and forth, and don’t want to commit. A man interested in marriage is, believe you me, interested in marriage. He is willing to commit, and for him, it is a very risk commitment. And the potential partner… can’t make up her mind. Men live in a binary, on/off world. If she’s not on, then she’s off, and he knows he needs to move on, to find a woman who is willing to commit. It’s that simple. And women think they can simply put men on ice, till they finally decide what they want. And they make that decision… in their late 30’s, as they realize their SMV is dropping, as are their options. The time to commit is when the conditions are optimum, not when they are decaying.

  19. Jorge says

    From these childhood wounds, many women swing the pendulum too far in the other direction and give up on love altogether. They may continue to date or even to marry, but their underlying belief system when it comes to men and marriage has been damaged. They’re walking through the world holding up a shield. They can’t let their guard down.

    They are holding up a shield, as you say. They also have a battle ax, in their right hand, armor, a helmet, greaves, and they are ready to use them, on the first idiot stupid enough to get close to them.

  20. Fernanda says

    Why Feminine Energy is Kryptonite for Men

    Whitney Virginia Morgan

    This topic has always intrigued me. Men tend to like soft, feminine women. And women are often drawn to a bit more rough, Alpha-male typed man. This goes waaay back to pre-historic times and has a lot to do with procreation. This yin and yang attraction is somewhat ingrained in us through biology. The times may have changed, but our biology has yet to catch up. (so true. And it is unlikely to, before the race simply dies out, or changes direction)

    Women are getting more and more masculine in today’s society. Mainly American society. Many other countries still adhere to traditional gender roles.The balance has been thrown off a bit by the vast changes in our society and a feminist movement, which ironically is anything but feminine but rather idolizing an I can do it all myself mentality. I am not knocking feminists. That’s not what this article is about. But ladies, you can’t argue with science. Research has shown over and over and over again — feminine attracts masculine.(Yes, for today’s american, this is a revelation) And if you want that hot shot alpha male in your life, you need to keep that in mind. Mainly American society. Many other countries still adhere to tradition gender roles. So lets take a look at some research. Although the biology of attraction is mysterious and not fully understood, we do know some things.

    1. Smell
    Scientists have found that a man’s smell provides a woman with information about his major histocompatibility complex (MHC) genes, which play an important role in immune system function. As the thinking goes, women prefer men whose MHC genes differ from their own because children with more varied MHC profiles are more likely to have healthy immune systems — which makes a whole lot of sense from an evolutionary perspective.

    2. Your Body
    Men do an instant, subconscious reproductive assesment without even realizing it. Your waist to hip ratio is a good child bearing cue. Men are attracted to a noticeable ratio because it is a sign of fertility according to scientists. 7:10 is commonly pleasing. He thinks — those hips can carry my babies! Soft skin is also a turn on. A higher pitched voice has also been shown to increase attraction as it signifies a feminine body and it associated with gentleness and softness, which is also appealing to men. They want the yin to their yang. Opposites attract. (an american woman who understands polarity? This is like finding a Unicorn.)

    Shiny and healthy hair, is another sign of fertility and health. (lack of tattoos, minimal use of toxic cosmetics, a good attitude, a good diet, do that also.)

    Your smile. White teeth equals health. Again, more healthy babies. (Wow, this woman has it together)

    Height. One (incredibly thorough) 2010 analysis conducted by experts at The University of New South Wales in Sydney — titled “Much More Than a Ratio: Multivariate Selection on Female Bodies” — showed that although factors such as waist-to-hip ratio and bust size affect how men perceive women, they don’t tell the whole story. Taller women were rated as more attractive, but — at least evolutionarily speaking — men aren’t necessarily after willowy, runway-ready figures. The men surveyed preferred women with legs that were proportionate in length to their height.

    Boobies. No shocker here. Studies show men prefer bigger breasts. They are also a child bearing cue. One study showed men’s eyes to linger longer here. But the waist ratio trumps the boobies. Boobs were the second most noticed physical trait however. (Gosh, you mean it’s not harassment, it’s evaluation…)

    Research also showed that women with more feminine dainty-like faces attracted men with higher levels of testosterone. Don’t have a feminine face? No worries. That was just for the men with high levels of testosterone. There’s someone for everyone. This same research also showed that our level of attraction to people can fluctuate with the level of our testosterone. (You mean women have that also)

    3. Your Grooming skills
    Noticeable features like how people groom themselves and posture were shown to be just as important as fixed features like height. The reason: Evidence of self-care signals to others that you’re healthy and strong, making you a good reproductive partner. — In a 1997 study published in the journal Current Psychology (hmm. That leaves out a lot of feminists, who often look like they slept in the woods, last night)

    Taking good care of your appearance means you are going to take good care of him and your children. It also shows class and mean are attracted to classy. (And respect. Yes. Appearance matters. So, yes, tramp stamps, blue hair, gross overweight, wierd clothing… appetizing does mean appetizing.)

    4. Responsiveness
    Studies also show that women who show more empathy or emotional response to their men in the early stages of dating, were considered more feminine and therefore more attractive. It shows that you will be loving and supportive when hard times inevitably arise. Complacency is not attractive, turns out. (oooo. I can just see a feminist frying when she reads this. Delicious!)

    5. Symmetry
    This one actually applies to both men and women. People who are symmetrical in their face and body attract more of the opposite sex. Some places even study symmetry and claim they can can gauge beauty off of it on a scale. A little too invasive if you ask me. The reason for this is a symmetrical body is another indicator of healthy and fertility. She has a nice even face, healthy babies here we come! (How many feminists have a nice, even face… no, let’s not go there. How many feminists are even nice?)

    6. Personality Traits
    But what about how a woman acts and talks? It can’t all be about looks is it? Well, sadly, lol, mostly — yes, it is. It’s animalistic in nature, attraction. And we are talking about that initial attraction. Many people can be attracted at first to a woman and then lose it over time when they see their lifestyles don’t match up or they have stark personalities that clash. (Since only 8% of communication is words, yes, this is very important)

    But research does show that intelligence plays a key. Men are strongly drawn to smart women for the same reason they are drawn to feminine bodies, it is a sign she will be smart enough to take good care of his children. (But feminists want to contract this out, to marginal caregivers. Therefore… feminists are not attractive to men. Surprise! And men are attracted to smart women who would be supportive, as opposed to combative.)

    There was a strong preference for Sanguine Stable Extraverts who are classed as easygoing, responsive, and lively, and an avoidance of Melancholic Unstable Introvertsclassified as anxious, rigid and reserved. — research from Adrian Furnham PhD for Psychology today

    So more open, easy-going women are considered more attractive according to this study. (That rules out almost all feminists I’ve ever run across. Too bad, so sad.) Someone rigid and cold isn’t going to be loving and nurturing to him and his children, (rigid. cold. Let’s combine these in one word. F..E..M..I… which he needs to balance off his inability to be this way. A warm and loving woman conveys a nurturing mother.(Oh, sorry, that’s just no longer in fashion.)

    People want to knock gender roles and tell everyone to be themselves. I am not here to argue that. I simply wanted to present the facts. Science shows us feminine women are more desired statistically.
    You be you 100%, but if your desire is to attract a more masculine type of guy, consider getting in touch which your feminine side. (This is like first grade advice, but there are American women who haven’t realized these simple facts.)

    Highlight what you do have that is feminine. A strong Alpha male can be sexy as hell! He’s going to want his opposite though. It’s easy to fall into the mentality of I can do it all myself, but this doesn’t afford him to opportunity for him to feel masculine, and it can actually end up being a turn off. (Well, yes, surprise surprise, a man interested in women wants to go out with women, not with men who might have female body parts.)

    So maybe you CAN reach that bowl on the top shelf in the kitchen. Girl, just let him do it. He will feel amazing helping you out. Vulnerability doesn’t equal weakness, it shows your strength because it means you are willing to accept help and be part of a team and asking for help and being receptive towards a man shows femininity, which science has shown over and over to be largely attractive. (I can’t believe an American woman wrote this. Can you?)

    Spanish people understand, celebrate, and enjoy polarity. Caucasians like to fight and argue. Polarity is a lot more fun.

  21. Alejandra says

    This was a really interesting post, to which I (respond).

    If you’re a woman, constantly dissatisfied, with many failed and difficult relationships, perhaps you want to work on your polarity. Feminine energy is the polar opposite of masculine energy. Surprise, surprise, but it’s real. For a romantic relationship to flourish, there must be the infusion of both feminine and masculine energy to it.

    Women who seek success in relationships with men really need to take on the feminine polarity, if they wish to attract, rather than repel, men. Most American women seem to be unconscious of this, or at least in denial. They seem totally unaware that they are exuding masculine polarity, and wonder why men pull away, lose attraction or bail out along the course of the relationship.

    People have both the masculine and feminine energies. No man has pure male energy, as surely as no woman has pure female energy. As with all energy, it needs to be channeled in the right direction, to bring satisfaction and balance to your life.

    Feminine energy craved by masculine men, who crave it. Strong polar attraction invites commitment, and long term relationship. Masculine man are strongly attracted to strong feminine energy.

    Where can the woman start?

    1. Be passive- let the guy pursue, and court. Don’t flood the guy with texts, phone calls, plans for dates, etc. Talk little. Be alluring. Nothing destroys a sale like excessive talk.
    A woman in her polarity doesn’t have to do much to move the relationship forward. It simply unfolds for her. She attracts instead of chases.

    2. Feminine women live aware, in the moment.
    A feminine woman rejoices in the present moment. As joy, in the moment, she is supremely attractive. She doesn’t go nuts worrying about the future- because this is for people who are nervous, who have to control everything. Women in their polarity don’t need to control, consciously. They simply let their polarity, their energy, do the work.

    3. She takes care of the plant, her own position.
    She nurtures herself first, knowing that as she does so, the overflow will help attract.
    She knows that men seek her, the way a bee seeks a flower. She knows that taking the lead makes the man feel like a fly caught in a Venus flytrap.
    A woman in her polarity invites investment. She doesn’t waste her time with bad boys, because they aren’t useful in the long term. She doesn’t worry about men who can’t commit, she simply moves on, quickly, without giving all the goodies away. She lets men court her. She enjoys male attention, yet isn’t addicted to it.

    4. She is relaxed, like a martial artist. She is not cold- apathetic. A relaxed woman in her polarity is simply not anxious. She is calm, attentive, and moves with the flow. She is the polar opposite of a ball busting or nagging bitch.

    5. She is open to receive good stuff, knowing she deserves it, from men, life, or wherever. Men like to give, and she knows it, and she receives well, which encourages him. This is her polarity. This triggers his instinct to provide, which lights up his masculine energy.
    Want to emasculate a man? Be more forward, be more eager to give. This messes up his polarity. Learn to work those muscles of gracious receiving. You can welcome his contributions. Yes, you’ll give, too. Just stay in the flow. Appreciate what he does, and he’ll do more of it.

    Being a woman in a relationship is so easy, modern women don’t understand it. If you enter your heart, and female energy, you will mostly relax, sit back, and note the love and devotion flowing in. Men have to do. Women need only be.

    This doesn’t mean you are doormat. It means you are like a riverbed, where the water flows through you. It means you are a flower, welcoming the bee, and each of you benefits.

  22. William says

    The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. Women stay with the bad boys, but they dump good guys. Then they want to sling back, when the bad boys dumps them.
    Only one answer: “Too bad, so sad, no can do, goodbye to you.” When a woman dumps you, at least change your cell number. If you can move, do that, also. Become hard to find. You will be glad you did. It also helps deal with the pain. Yes, my wife dumped me, after a few boyfriends into the marriage. I moved far away. She couldn’t bother me. Best move I ever made. There are women with wisdom. Suzanne, you seem to be among their number. But the vast majority of women are like corks on the ocean, floating every whichway, with no focus, no long term goals, no plan, no nothing. Maybe that’s why they end up as detritus. And as for my ex- hey, have a great time, honey, you made your bed, now you get to sleep in it. At the homeless shelter you are staying at. The meds haven’t been working so well for you, have they. Gee, that’s a shame. But listen, good bye, and good luck! You’ll never be in my life again.

  23. Harold says

    Negative Love Scripts. Isn’t that what feminism is? My sister is proud to be a feminist, and she’s also driven away every man she ever married, or was otherwise involved with. She defends her space, and so on. Great. Nobody can share space with her.

  24. Danny says

    Bonnie Tyler lyrics. Where have all the good men gone?

    [Verse 1]
    Where have all the good men gone and where are all the gods?
    (tired of being fish bicycles, they went to other places.)
    Where’s the streetwise Hercules to fight the rising odds?
    Isn’t there a white knight upon a fiery steed?
    (White knights have been so punished, they left for other shores. No white knight wants to be a fish bicycle)
    Late at night I toss and I turn, and I dream of what I need

    [Chorus]
    I need a hero
    I’m holding out for a hero till the end of the night
    (He was dissed all through high school, and shunned in college. He has found another path, and you are not on it.)
    He’s gotta be strong, and he’s gotta be fast
    And he’s gotta be fresh from the fight
    (He doesn’t want to fight for you any more. You don’t respect him, and never did.)
    I need a hero
    I’m holding out for a hero till the morning light
    He’s gotta be sure, and it’s gotta be soon
    And he’s gotta be larger than life
    (news flash: no heroes are larger than life. None. Their publicity maybe, but not them.)

    Larger than life

    [Verse 2]
    Somewhere after midnight in my wildest fantasy
    (ah yes, fantasies. An interesting realm. Snipe at men for a couple of decades, and then ask them to just trust you. What’s wrong with this picture?)
    Somewhere just beyond my reach, there’s someone reaching back for me
    (His dad might have. He doesn’t, though. Not any more. He dealt with too many flowers that turned out to be poison ivy feminists.)
    Racing on the thunder and rising with the heat
    It’s gonna take a Superman to sweep me off my feet
    (Superman has better options. Muuuuuch better options.)

    [Chorus]
    I need a hero (does the hero need your moods, your blood sugar tanking, your bad habits?)
    I’m holding out for a hero till the end of the night (oh, ok, just to the end of the night. OK)
    He’s gotta be strong, and he’s gotta be fast (yeah, to put up with all the abuse he’s had heaped on him by women.)
    And he’s gotta be fresh from the fight
    I need a hero (need does not create. It only creates more need.)
    I’m holding out for a hero till the morning light (May Allah grant you patience.)
    He’s gotta be sure, and it’s gotta be soon
    And he’s gotta be larger than life

    I need a hero
    I’m holding out for a hero till the end of the night…

    [Bridge]
    Up where the mountains meet the heavens above
    Out where the lightning splits the sea
    I could swear there is someone somewhere watching me (Yeah, seeing what you’ve made of yourself, and giving thanks to his Maker, on his knees, in exultation, that you haven’t nailed him down to the plantation.)

    Through the wind and the chill and the rain
    And the storm and the flood
    I can feel his approach like a fire in my blood
    (No, that is your dream. He is not approaching you. After his heart was broken for the second time, he gave up on American women. He found a really nice Filipina, and they have two kids. And he doesn’t think about you at all, because he gets more love from her in a day, than he ever got from either of his wives, in some years)

    [Chorus]
    I need a hero
    I’m holding out for a hero till the end of the night
    He’s gotta be strong, and he’s gotta be fast
    And he’s gotta be fresh from the fight
    I need a hero
    I’m holding out for a hero till the morning light
    He’s gotta be sure, and it’s gotta be soon
    And he’s gotta be larger than life
    (You hunted them down, to extinction. Pray for a woolly mammoth, while you’re at it. Or a Dire Wolf.)

    I need a hero
    I’m holding out for a hero till the end of the night
    He’s gotta be strong, and he’s gotta be fast
    And he’s gotta be fresh from the fight (and what do you offer him? Oh, your need. Yeah. Right)
    I need a hero
    I’m holding out for a hero till the morning light
    He’s gotta be sure, and it’s gotta be soon
    And he’s gotta be larger than life

    (In their late teens, men realize they will never have the centerfold, because women like that are simply not in his class. He understands that he will get what he gets. He understands that he has to put up with a lot. And he accepts it, with some sadness. But men are forced to be realistic. Women are not. They maintain these fantasies of gods- as you put it- who simply do not exist. On this planet, we have to put up with flawed people. It’s part of the amusement park ride called life. Those ideal men of your fantasies live in your fantasies because you give them life. But you cannot give them flesh and blood. The song Delta Dawn talks about this.)

  25. Robin says

    I saw a Candace Owens video, debating a British feminist. Candace said there has never been a successful society without strong men. Candace said that feminists are trying to make feminism mandatory for all women, because only they know the truth. “Cancel white men” is a common theme. Candace noted that women suffer when men are broken down. Candace asks why women must give up goals, because feminists don’t like their goals, and feminists take away choice, and provide mandatory scripts. Karen Straughn has some very useful ideas. It is fascinating to hear women who have strayed from the feminist dogma. Jussie Smallet set up a false flag incident, to make others look bad. Candace then asks the feminist if women should be believed, without any backup evidence. Brett Kavanaugh’s accuser’s story changed 8 times. Candace said that it was a political hit job. Radicalized feminism- believing a woman without any evidence was the basis of lynching black men, Candace says. Wow. There are intelligent women out there, who can think, I feel so much better.

  26. Mary Ann says

    The comments on the Candace Owens video were great. Candace, who is black, was photoshopped as white, so she could be attacked as racist, for this talk. The comments on the video were fascinating.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXFGSPYiO7I

    A contradiction of the left:
    A Muslim woman that wears a hijab, niqab or burka is a strong intelligent woman that has chosen this.
    However… A “traditional western housewife” is uneducated and has been brainwashed by the patriarchy.

    “we have a patriarchal society” – in a country with a Queen

    Conservatives want people who disagree in front of the line,
    Leftists want them silenced and deplatformed.

    I’ve seen a lot of racism against white men.

    Man…that girl… Masculine traits are only ok when women decide that they are. Oh by the way, it’s bad if men try to define how women should behave. This is totally logical to feminists.

    Toxic Masculinity is anything a women disagrees with or is incapable of doing,but if Toxic masculinity exists it’s a result of Selfish Femininity.

    IMO: Toxic masculinity is using stereotypic behaviors to manipulate and/or oppress. Aka legit chauvinist pigs, meat heads, anyone who thinks without consulting their brain and uses their physical abilities to subjugate others. Like… feminists.

    Toxic femininity is using stereotypic feminine behaviors to manipulate and/or oppress. Seduction, getting guys to do the hard lifting or work while they leisure around, back biting and gossip to cull the in-group, etc.

    To sum up: toxic behavior is bullying. Don’t bully, male or female. Grow up and learn how to be excellent to each other without mansplaining because you think the female is less informed, and start wearing looser and higher tops. Women have brains if you let them use them, and men fear being metoo’d over absentmindedly gazing. It’s lose-lose when we don’t support each other, we all win when we work together.
    there is no such thing as toxic masculinity nor femininity. It’s simply being an asshole or a bitch. And there isnt such thing as mansplaning. If you’re wrong you’re wrong and deserved to be told. Sex does not make you right and sex does not protect you from being interrupted and told you’re wrong.

    you are watching the first female President of the USA.

    Isn’t it funny how the bulk of the complaints against them all come back to their feelings are hurt.

    Candace has the same fearlessness as Donald Trump.

    Mum: Son… you see those women on stage?
    Son: Yes
    Mum: Do not bring any other kind of woman into my home.

    The first girl that got up to spar with them…. this is the prime example of victim hood ideology, she has been brainwashed to feel like a victim in all aspects of life. I feel bad for this girl and other people like her.

    I am against feminism because it is against equality which I am strongly for. I am against the feminists who tell me that my choice to be just a wife and mother is wrong then say I have the right to choose. I did choose and a happy married life and children are my choice.

    Marriage is compatibility not emotional liabilities on women. I have been married 44 years. I refused to be a feminist bc it is toxic and I decided that in 1976; I do not HATE MEN.
    Polar women need their men to provide, preside, and protect. A non polar woman needs the freedom to work with her man and she still accepts the protection of her man. Both types of women form a union in a marriage to raise children, have a home and build a life.

    Candace articulates the truth and just so happens to be very beautiful. a powerful combination

    The hormone oxytocin is the nurturing hormone. Women produce more than men particularly when the are pregnant. God knew what he was doing.

    You like your socialized medicine because you don’t work and you can’t get a man. So you want someone else to bust their ass and pay for you. Makes sense.

    I knew the minute we elected a one-term Senator from Chicago to the office of President just because of the color of his skin we’d have the race card brought forth in everything.

    Well my grandparents came from Cuba and at no time have they said gee we want to back because it was so great.

    A very respectful debate had by all. The only one to almost get triggered was, no prizes, the Feminist at 26 minutes. Her arguments where destroyed by the panel and she almost freaked out. The way she spoke like a mouse you can see how she sees men supporting a football team etc as being toxic masculinity/murderer/Rapists ??

    For anyone watching this, we aren’t all this deluded in the UK, I promise!!!

    That first feminists to get up and ask questions is the epitome of a first world, privileged woman who is desperate to be seen as oppressed.

    That feminist blew my mind! Feminism is nothing more than a hate group!

    Candace’s words at 01:22:36 should be enshrined: “I love the yin and the yang. I think men and women are symbiotic. It’s beautiful. It’s Biblical. And it’s something we should stop trying to actively destroy… There’s something really beautiful and spiritual about it that should never disrupted.”

    We need you in Sweden. PLEASE come to Sweden. I’m sorry for what’s going on in Australia, the UK and Canada, but Sweden is already way past over the threshold of postmodernistic and socially Marxist insanity.

    I love those guys . Candace please run for Mayor, Congress, Senate , President …we will vote for you

    45:44 Lefty: “It’s so obvious that the left has done SOOO much for the country”
    Background audience laughs
    LOL!!!

    Real woman love real men….. I’m sorry woman love a dominant strong man….

    Candice Owens for President of the USA – when she’s old enough.

    I hear “it takes a village to raise a child” NO IT TAKES THE TWO PEOPLE WHO CREATE THAT CHILD TO RAISE THAT CHILD!!! MOTHER & FATHER RAISE THE CHILD THEY CREATE!!! NOT the VILLAGE!!!!

    As a child who grew up parentless I could tell you it is very important to have a mother and father

    Truth is the left’s biggest enemy. To see these young warriors fighting for what’s right, gives me hope. Candace, i pray you’ll be President one day. The first TRUE black President. Love from Australia ??

    One victim playing white woman trying to convince two Black women, along with one Black and one white man what oppression is, all the while; mixing up chauvinism with masculinity…I’ve really seen it all now.

  27. J says

    Nobody exposes foolish negative scripts as well as Candace Owens.
    *Why are we competing in the oppression Olympics?
    *The left says if you get down, don’t get back up, blame others.
    *white progressives name call their opponents racists, but couldn’t care less about black people
    *if you disagree with a feminist, you are a sexist

  28. Jed says

    I found this at a blog. The English is not American; I believe it is a former British colony in Africa, or at least African emigres talking. It is interesting, as the prolonged, immature adolescence of American culture seems to be happening in other parts of the world, also. It is also interesting to note that the emotional distance/sexual closeness of the “booty call” is artificial, and generally, one party will start to have attachment. It is my belief that committed relationship is the more mature state- it does take 2 mature people, which is a weakness.

    I met this guy while I was dancing. He had pretty good moves on the floor and although I knew him by name, I had never talked to him. After a few moves, we left the dance floor and sat on a table to make banter which mainly involved me complementing him for his website developing business and his then awesome blog. That is when I asked him if he would be willing to be a friends with benefits. [she asked him. Interesting) He said it would actually work well for him since he didn’t believe in love but aaarh fu! Who was he kidding? (He lied? I can’t believe that! Really!) He loved someone who I soon discovered wasn’t his to keep. He told me that such friendships always went wrong with one person getting too attached but I didn’t want to hear it. (Hmmm. Advance warning, and it was ignored) I was horny, he turned me on and I knew he wouldn’t have me as a girlfriend; at least not then. (Good excuse. Yeah, he had no respect for me, but I needed the action) That night we didn’t do much but the next day he took me to his room. It was actually pretty long(3 hours give or take) and I left with a love bite so large I had to dip my lower lip into my mouth to hide it. To me I had found the perfect match. (Can you spell “low standards?”) I used to call him at wee hours of the night asking for a good time and most of the time, he would decline the booty. He had a roommate so I understood the circumstances and we switched up our ‘meets’ from night time to day time. I also started helping him out with his emotional issues (now that is a gargantuan task) and this is where I found out that for about a year,he had been crushing on my then best friend. Bummer, right? (well, he clearly has ambitious goals, at least) Now, a normal girl would stop the relationship at this point but I didn’t. (aha, she admits to being abnormal- or at least not liking herself much. There is awareness here, for those who seek it.) I just told my bestie about it and she assured me she had no feelings for the guy which come to think of it, I think was a lie.(No, really?) They used to spend a lot of time together, going for concerts and festivals that I wasn’t even aware of until my friend bragged about it the day after. (Some African cultures are polygamous, that’s true) He even stopped dancing with me as much as he used to and when he did, he made excuses to not hold me on the floor. Sucks! We started offering dance classes at a club in Westlands and that is when I kinda came to realise that a) I was out of place and b) I had actually developed feelings for this guy. (Yes, regular contact with people can do that.) He and my bestie would sit together on the bus… Of course my girl would ask me to sit with them to soften the bow but oh well… They would walk together to the club her hand in his intertwined like a lotus flower… ? and when we were coming back to juja they would walk slowly behind us talking in low tones and eventually they got so behimd it was even hard to spot them courtesy of the many corners. They would swear they were not making out but well… Find out more about booty calls here I told my bestie i liked the guy and she told me to tell him about it… Well, that was actually after she persuaded me to stop the bootie calling shenanigans and just leave him if he didn’t have anything more to offer; we both know he had none. (awareness comes to all, eventually) I cried buckets that night I remember! The next morning I took a long shower and cleared out step by step what I was going to do. (Clear intention, in a woman, no less. Bravo!) I walked to his room and I just told him pointblank… “I think I have developed feelings for you “. He was quick to decide that we should stop our little escapades since he had none for me and I agreed. (Better to end the pretense, yet) It hurt like an arrow to my spine but it was the best decision. (It was) That is when I actually sat down and asked myself for the first time… What did my besty have that I did not?
    Continue reading at: https://tuchapiane.com/2880/this-guy-mwangi-booty-calls-gone-wrong.html | Tuchapiane

    Women have lowered the price even of regular sex. This has an effect. Women do not understand that as a wife, they are a wasting asset, with peak value in the US about 25 (younger in third world countries), with a plateau to about 30-31, then a gradual decline to about 35, when the gradient gets much steeper. This is a biological thing, which no feminist manifesto will change. This gradient is easy to measure, by the number of available potential good male partners. 25 year old men probably haven’t seen a buddy eviscerated- that’s a fancy name for had his guts cut out- in divorce court. A 35 year old man has seen several. A 44 year old guy may have gotten to the point where FWB, the booty call, is the only risk he’ll take. Feminism has this wierd idea that there is a warehouse full of Prince Ken’s, waiting for them to get the 20-25 years of wild partying out of the way, so they can get together and create a family. This is a truly cruel lie. The time to pick flowers is when they are in bloom. There is a season for all things. You will pick few flowers in the white season, the season of snows. Plan- based on how the world actually works, not on wishful thinking.

  29. Theo says

    Note on the web, from a Former Booty Call

    I spent hours of my free time wishing and hoping that there was something I could do to pull him in emotionally, praying that one day he would actually want me for more than just my body.
    by Amanda Richardson The Woodlands, TX Feb 26, 2017

    I was driving to work today, and an older song came on the radio that brought back a boat load of memories for me. It wasn’t old enough to be deemed a classic just yet, but it was still too outdated to be on any of the trendy top 40 radio stations. This song took me back to a time in my life that I have tried so tirelessly to forget. A time full of vulnerability, raw emotion and anger towards one individual in particular. This song took me back to when I was somebody’s booty call, sometimes referred to as a FWB (friend with benefits). I think a lot of people get the two mixed up and use the terms interchangeably, when in actuality they are extremely different, in my eyes anyway. FWB involves two consenting adults who have decided that they only want sexual relations, as opposed to an emotional connection. Personal disclaimer: I think you are bat shit crazy if you believe that such a scenario could exist so seamlessly, but that is merely my past experiences speaking for me. Only YOU can decide what works for you.

    Logistics aside though, a booty call is slightly different from the aforementioned acronym. A booty call (in my life) was not so consensual and agreed upon. It is the complex dynamic of one person wanting a strictly sexual relationship, while the other person desires a relationship with depth and emotion involved. In my experience, a booty call is more about leading one person to believe that they might have a chance (emotionally) while taking full advantage of them physically throughout the process. My situation strongly resembled the latter of the two, and it was just as painful and manipulative as you might imagine.

    Now I do not want to knock anyone’s life choices. FWB may work for some individuals and it is a catastrophe for others. It merely depends on the person and their goals, desires or priorities at a certain point in their lives. (we all have learning experiences, yes?) But for me, and my emotions and my desires, FWB would never work. However, it clearly took me a little while to figure this out. (personal experience is so much more instructive than listening to other people point out the mine fields, and Americans often ignore useful advice anyway) At this point, you might be wondering how someone like me even ended up in such a problematic position that I was clearly so opposed to. If I did not want to participate in anything so casual and careless, then why did I get sexually involved with this unpredictable person in the first place? Believe me, I wish I had an answer for you. (American women particularly tend to be very much in the moment. This can be useful. In dealing with potential partners, though, stepping out of the rational mind, and into emotions, can lead to bad decisions. Men who make decisions from emotion tend to screw up, too.)

    But why does any woman get involved with a man that she knows is no good for her? Loneliness, lack of self-love, indecision or maybe even boredom. (lack of self respect, a need for adventure, the BS put out in women’s magazines and romance novels, lack of clear long term goals and a plan to work them, believing the crap in our mass media, following the twinge in the groin…) There were so many factors that pulled me into falling for this man, some of which I did not even fully understand at the time, most of which don’t even matter at this point. Before I knew it, this long time friend of mine had become a FWB, and soon after, I became the resentful booty call that wanted so much more from him.

    I spent hours of my free time wishing and hoping that there was something I could do to pull him in emotionally, praying that one day he would actually want me for more than just my body. (women get into relationships desperately praying the man will change; the man desperately prays that she won’t change; both are disappointed) With every late night call, I went running in the wrong direction trying to find love from him, but more specifically trying to find love for myself.(You have acquired wisdom! Good for you!) I kept assuming that if I did the things he asked, bent over backwards to make his life easier and played the role of his silent sex toy, then maybe he would comply. Maybe then he would give in. Maybe then he would love me. (Wisdom speaks. Yes. Women do seek love, in relationships, no matter how much they and feminists deny it. Sex without love is like a bicycle with a flat tire; you can make it work, but it’s never graceful)

    Occasionally, during sex, he would say the words “I love you”, claiming that it was an accident and that he simply got “caught up in the moment”. (Or, as his heart opened up in orgasm, he allowed it to slip out) But looking back I can see that it was no accident at all. He said those words when he could feel me slipping away. He said those words, because he knew hearing something so sacred come from his mouth (even if it was a lie) might be enough to get me to stay with him in our very “special” arrangement. The arrangement where he fucked whoever he wanted, and I worshiped only him.

    He was strategic, gifted, manipulative, strong-willed and an excellent liar. Some might call him a genius, but any smart woman who has been around the block would call him by the title he has so coarsely deserved: a textbook narcissist. (Welcome to the world of Narcissus. Men find so many female narcissists nowadays, too… it’s ok to be a narcissistic when you are a year old. You have to be. Life is about maturing, however. Useful lesson.)

    He knew exactly what to say to play me, to pull me in and to emotionally abuse me to the point where I thoroughly believed it was love. What a joke, right? (No, it’s not a joke. It is cruel. Men get to deal with narcissistic women all the time, and it hurts, it really f…ing hurts. And each cruelty inflicted on others tends to be passed on- a man who had his heart broken may try to balance the pain by breaking a woman’s heart, in turn… the chain of pain continues, until the chain is broken, by someone aware. Don Juan didn’t start loving and leaving the ladies until after his heart was broken.)

    So ladies, I can say this with confidence that being the booty call is no place for a good woman to be. You will end up with the narcissists, the abusers and the overall undesirables. (lads, it works the other way, too: women can be every bit as narcissistic. When you find you have one, DTB. Or, DTN, dump that narcissist.) A man worthy of your attention will love every part of you, emotionally, mentally and physically. He will appreciate what you bring to the table sexually, but also appease your mind and soul, as well.

    I can look back now and laugh at how delusional and childish I was, but it was not always this way. Over the course of my young adult (and teen) years I have been metaphorically dragged through the mud by countless men who pretended to love me long enough to get what they wanted. (countless? I don’t think so. It was a finite number) My life was a parade of man-whores and fake love, and for the most part, I have no one to blame but myself. (Omigod. AGENCY. A woman who isn’t blaming the world for her self-created problems. Geez, even with a high partner count, she might be worth risking a relationship with. Most women blame men, society, the patriarchy, and so on. This one is smart enough to know. Wow. The Unicorn.) It is crazy how times have changed in just a few short years though, and it is truly baffling how much those trying times have changed me through the years. [She goes on to say she is engaged, to be married. Her fiance may be getting a good deal. She has acquired wisdom, at the cost of some pain.)

  30. George says

    Are You Ready to Stop Being Angry with Men?

    popped up on your site. I thought I was hallucinating. An American woman asked this?

    Anger is only useful to the extent that it motivates one to take positive action. Anger is corrosive- literally corrosive, it makes the body acidic, which invites disease, germs, decay, and nasty circumstances. It is not a good reaction.

    See life as a school. A school where people set their own curriculum. This works far better as a metaphor. Then you understand that the angry tattooed feminist running hate through her system is just choosing this particular course of study. You know to avoid her, because your class is in a more pleasant subject. You note that people make some bizarre choices- out of ignorance. Suffering is often a path people choose. Some military training, for example, involves considerable suffering. Those who choose it know and accept this. At some deep level of consciousness, I suggest that we are all powerful, and that we chose to forget that, in our current existence, so that we could learn stuff we could not learn being all powerful. It is wrong to cause intentional harm, yes, but that is my own value judgment.

    The key is to open up one’s awareness, and pay attention. Learn. Watch. Things are never as they seem. There is always deeper learning.

  31. Jane says

    #MeToo Will Not Survive Unless We Recognize Toxic Femininity
    Women are not monolithic. Pretending they are holds everyone back.
    Meghan Daum [author is female]

    Sometimes I wish I could gather up all the women I’ve ever known, or encountered, and conduct this informal poll:
    Raise your hand if you’ve ever behaved badly and blamed it on your period.
    Raise your hand if you’ve ever acted helpless in the face of an unpleasant-if-not-physically-demanding task like dealing with a wild animal that’s gotten inside the house.
    Raise your hand if you’ve ever coerced a man into sex even though he didn’t seem to really want it.
    Raise your hand if you’ve thought you were at liberty to do this coercing because men “always want it” and should feel lucky any time they get it.
    Raise your hand if you’ve ever threatened to harm yourself if a man breaks up with you or doesn’t want to see you anymore.
    Raise your hand if you’ve been physically abusive with a male partner, knowing you’d be unlikely to face any legal consequences.
    Raise your hand if you’ve lied about being on birth control, or faked a pregnancy scare, to see how a man would respond.
    Raise your hand if you’ve ever manipulated a divorce or child custody dispute in your favor by falsely insinuating that a man has been abusive toward you or your child.
    In this hypothetical gathering of every woman I’ve ever known or encountered (I’m imagining a football stadium at decent capacity), I’m certain there is not a single one of these questions that, if answered honestly, wouldn’t send hands into the air. Including my own. I know I’m guilty on the pest control front. I don’t want to think too hard about some of the others.

    We hear all too much about toxic masculinity, that amorphous term that refers to the way traits like aggression and emotional repression are baked into male social norms. It also frequently shows up in online feminism as **lazy shorthand for registering disapproval of just about anything men do at all**. But when are we going to grant equal rights to women and admit that toxic femininity also exists and can be just as poisonous? (Good question. When indeed?)

    There are minor forms of feminine toxins, like blaming irrational temper tantrums on “being hormonal” or feigning helplessness in order to get what you want. And there are major toxins, many having to do with weaponizing your fragility so that those to whom you cause harm have a difficult time defending themselves, lest they look like the aggressors. Women, of course, can unleash these tactics on other women, be they romantic partners or not. But for the sake of this discussion, let’s say we are talking about women and men and sex. We’ve established that many men are socially conditioned to think that women owe them sex. But what about the women that assume that men should be grateful for any sex they get? (another good question)

    In a free society, everyone, regardless of gender, is free to be a manipulative, narcissistic, emotionally destructive asshole. (And many exercise that freedom to the max. Including feminists.)

    Throughout my life, I’ve heard countless men tell stories about going ahead with sex even though they didn’t really want to. Sometimes, it was because they didn’t want to hurt the woman’s feelings. Other times, it was because they feared being perceived as having a low sex drive. A remarkable number of men have told me about times when women approached them and, often wordlessly, initiated sexual encounters without the slightest provocation or questions asked. I’ve heard, more than once, about unsolicited hand jobs on school buses when they were boys. Also, more than once, men have told me about past grade school camping trips or overnight parties wherein girls they barely knew slipped into their sleeping bags or beds. In some cases, the men were happy to oblige the women’s desires. In other cases, though, they went through with the encounters because they didn’t want to make an awkward situation even more awkward.

    These stories have been relayed to me in a tone I can only describe as bafflement. The men are not complaining, but nor are they boasting. If anything, they seem to be struggling to find the words to describe a not-entirely-welcome encounter that they felt they had no right to regard with anything other than gratitude. Needless to say, if you imagined any of these situations with the genders reversed, you’d have the potential for very different framing.

    I realize that the physical size difference between most women and most men means that the above comparison isn’t entirely fair; a woman who’s sexually aggressive with a man is probably not putting him in insurmountable physical danger(there are other kinds of danger he can recognize, though, like false accusations). And I’m cognizant of the fact that for every bad behavior I mentioned in my opening list of questions there is an equal, opposite, and potentially more physically threatening form of bad behavior that men can, and do, visit upon women with just as much frequency.
    But that, right there, is precisely my point. In a free society, everyone, regardless of gender, or any other identification, is free to be a manipulative, narcissistic, emotionally destructive asshole. So I’m not sure why men have been getting all the credit lately.
    The #BelieveWomen memes that have arisen in the wake of #MeToo in general, and the Brett Kavanaugh saga in particular, are coming from a place of empathy and good intentions. But they’re also stripping women of our complications and contradictions, and therefore our humanity.
    For what it’s worth, I believed Christine Blasey Ford’s testimony about what happened between her and Kavanaugh when they were in high school. It is my personal belief, based on nothing more than gut feeling, that things transpired more or less as Ford described them and that Kavanaugh was too drunk at the time to remember. I believe that Kavanaugh effectively lied under oath about the extent of his drinking, and that this alone should have disqualified him from holding a seat on the Supreme Court.

    But there is a difference between believing and knowing. Even if the judiciary committee had done the right thing and subpoenaed Mark Judge, who witnessed the encounter between Ford and Kavanaugh, and forced him to testify under oath, no one would ever have known definitively what happened that evening. All the truth digging in the world will not change the fact that all kinds of people misrepresent, misremember, misinterpret, and willfully or unwillfully make misleading statements for all kinds of reasons.

    And that is why #BelieveWomen, with its suggestion that women are some monolithic entity that is inherently more moral, innocent, or trustworthy than men, is not just reductive but insulting. (not to mention divisive) Women are not simple, guileless creatures to whom only the most innocent motives should ever be ascribed. Both sexes contain multitudes. Or, as George Carlin put it, “Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.”
    #MeToo is important. #BelieveWomen is hollow sloganeering.
    My opening list of “raise your hand” questions surely set some teeth on edge. It’s difficult to talk about things like women tricking men into getting them pregnant, not least of all because it makes you sound like a part of the men’s rights movement — a loosely knit and often self-defeating enterprise that overrides legitimate grievances about, say, the family court system, with ambient misogyny and conspiracy theories. When I was in my twenties, just hearing a phrase like “tricking men” would have made me assume it was coming from a woman-hating kook.

    But the thing about growing older is that over the years, you run into more and more people and see all the different kinds of havoc they can wreak. I know men who, amid contentious divorce proceedings, have been accused, preposterously, of spousal and child abuse. I know women who are so skilled in the dark art of gaslighting that the targets of their mind games, be it boyfriends or BFFs, don’t stand a chance. Once, while working with high school students, I overheard some girls joking to one another about how they were going to go out that night and “hit on older guys who don’t know we’re underage and later be like ‘Dude, you’re a pedophile.’” (and women wonder why men are standoffish with them…)

    I decided to give the girls the benefit of the doubt and assume they were just goofing around, condemning misogynist stereotypes about young women as jailbait by ironically reclaiming those stereotypes. Along the way, I tried to think like a good feminist and consider that patriarchal societies foster or even force this kind of manipulative female behavior because it’s often the only power available to women.
    But that’s an excuse and a poor one. (sure is) Some women act abominably because some people act abominably. (what a revelation)
    The famous line “Feminism is the radical notion that women are people” has been popping up on bumper stickers and T-shirts since the 1980s. But in 2018, many feminists seem illogically invested in the idea that women operate under a different set of standards and practices than men and might, in fact, be something rather separate from “people.” They will say this is because women are still often reduced to second-class citizens; underpaid in the labor force, underrepresented in politics, and undermined and ignored when, like Ford, they speak up about their experiences.
    But can we please put this into some perspective? There is now an entire literary genre — and, more than that, vast quarters of the mainstream media — devoted to women speaking up about their experiences. Every day, the stories roll across my news feeds faster than I could possibly read them, their headlines tweaked to clickbait perfection. “Thanks for not raping us, all you ‘good men.’ But it’s not enough,” went the headline of a Washington Post guest opinion column earlier this month.
    Meanwhile, when men speak up about what it’s like to be accused of sexual misconduct — or just navigate the sexual arena in general — the only culturally sanctioned response is to paint them as entitled whiners at best and narcissistic and, of course, toxic sociopaths at worst. (And then women ask, “Where have all the good men gone?” They are still around, they just live in stealth, hiding from female predators)
    #MeToo is important. #BelieveWomen is hollow sloganeering that will ultimately set us back rather than move us forward. Like all movements, #MeToo will live or die by the degree to which it’s willing to let people in. Until it makes room for examinations not just of toxic masculinity but also toxic femininity—and, even better, dispatch with these meaningless terms—it will continue to tell only half the story. Until it admits that women can be as manipulative and creepy and generally awful as men, the movement will continue to send a message that we’re not really whole people. And why would anyone believe someone like that?

  32. Leonor says

    Prof. Svetlana Voreskova: Why Feminism Is Poison (A Russian woman wrote this)

    Feminism is built upon the principle of patriarchy theory – the idea that women have been oppressed by men throughout our history and that men have always been “privileged” relative to women. Almost all other feminist doctrine is built upon this foundation. Patriarchy theory itself, is not only a giant historical lie, but it is a lie that has been deliberately concocted and perpetuated by feminists to encourage women to see men as the enemy.

    The demonisation of men is vitally important to feminism and it is a constant theme that underscores all feminist discourse and literature. Feminism could not survive without it because most modern feminist activism is based on advocating for special status for women, using the justification that women have traditionally been oppressed and that men are basically brutish oppressors by default.

    I have debunked patriarchy theory on many occasions in debating with feminists. It’s not difficult to do. I asked one British feminist who claimed women in the early 1900’s in Britain were oppressed, if she really though those women would have preferred to work in the mines or fight in the trenches. Her response – Silence.

    I asked her if she realised that whilst women did not have the vote in the UK of the 1900’s nor did many men, and furthermore that women did not have the vote because they avoided all of the responsibilities that went hand in hand with the vote..

    Her response – Silence. I asked her if she realised that the franchise in the UK in the 1900’s was linked to both property rights and citizenship responsibilities such as conscription. Her response – Silence. I asked her if she realised that most working class women in the UK opposed the suffragettes because they realised that equality with men would have been deeply hurtful to them.

    Her response – Silence. I asked her if she really thought that Emiline Pankhurst would ever have tolerated equality. Her response – Silence.

    I pointed out that while women were always discriminated against throughout history, men were also discriminated against, but often in much harsher ways. – Silence.

    She did pop up on another thread though babbling away about how women in the UK were oppressed in the 1900’s. No surprise there.

    In order to believe in feminist theory, it is a requirement to ignore historical and scientific fact. This leaves feminists with a conundrum. They cannot argue their case against anybody who is not prepared to just fall for shallow slogans so it’s better not to engage in debate at all. I admire Germaine Greer in particular for her debating skills. She will refuse to engage with anyone who doesn’t agree with her. She uses typical feminist shaming tactics but in her own unique way. Her insults, designed to deflect an awkward question, are delivered as gentle humour.

    They are designed to win over the audience and shame the questioner and they almost always work. Most feminists however don’t have her polished skills so they just chant slogans and parrot off the same debunked rhetoric over and over again. I suspect the almost religious fervor of their repetitiveness is as much designed to convince themselves as anyone else.

    Western feminists main catch-call these days is equality. Feminists just want equality for women they say. I have asked feminists from The UK, USA, Australia, Germany and various other countries to give me examples of laws or regulations in their respective countries that discriminate against women in any way.

    I further pointed out that it is illegal under EU law to discriminate against women on the basis of gender. It is however, thanks to feminism, perfectly legal in some cases to discriminate against men. Both employment law and family law often reflect this.

    The response of feminists – Silence. Just to check my facts I phoned several woman’s advocacy organisations in Ireland and the UK, asking if they could give me examples of where women were unequal under the law. The British National Council of Women claim they advocate for equality for women in Britain. Their representatives were unable to furnish me with even one example of where women in the UK were discriminated against. They became quite agitated when I persisted in asking them. It’s almost hilarious. You couldn’t make it up.

    In fact women in the UK are the beneficiaries of all kinds of affirmative action programs, special lobby groups and government funded grant schemes. Women in the UK are also given priority over men in terms of social and emergency housing and social welfare supplements. There is a reason why over 88% of homeless people are men and that reason is partly created by feminism.

    Families in the UK are also suffering through spiralling divorce rates and the increasing reluctance of men to get involved in long-term relationships at all. Men have less chance of surviving a marriage now than a game of Russian roulette. Almost 59% of marriages will end in divorce. 70% of divorces are initiated by women and in over 80% of divorces, the man will lose his home, his kids and a percentage of his future earnings.

    It’s no wonder men don’t want to get married. Those are odds that the most compulsive gambler would run away from. The problem is that women do want marriage. Women need stable long-term relationships even more than men do for obvious reasons, but they are finding it increasingly difficult to find them.

    Meanwhile feminism has been teaching girls and women that they deserve to have it all. That if they are not blissfully happy then they should bail out; that they should never have to compromise in any way to attract or keep a man; that it is men who should make all the compromises. When a man makes the decision to opt out of this one-sided deal, it is, we are told, because he is selfish or immature; he cannot “man up”. He is a “manchild”. Many men are simply walking away.

    Many are avoiding the toxic, over-entitled, parasitical products of decades of feminism altogether and looking for suitable matches overseas. Women are left wondering “where have all the good men gone?” Well the answer dear, is that ****they have run away from you because you see, a man wants a partner***. He wants a lover, companion, friend and comrade and he wants that partner to be female. He doesn’t want some gender-neutral humanoid, and he certainly doesn’t want some whiny, judgmental entitlement princess who will take him to the cleaners at the first sign of trouble.

    Native populations are plummeting and dependence on the recourses of the increasingly creaking machinery of the state is growing out of control. Exploding prison populations have been directly related to the phenomenon of single mother households, a phenomenon driven by feminist design and advocacy, and paid for from the taxes of men.

  33. Leonor says

    Feminism has been telling women for years that they don’t need men. It’s a lie of course. Men and women need each other and probably the most destructive thing that feminism has managed to do is drive a wedge between the sexes, causing a toxic atmosphere of fear and mistrust that makes both sexes unnecessarily wary of each-other.

    Feminists have lobbied, mostly successfully, for rape shield laws which do nothing to increase the likelihood of a rapist being convicted, but have dangerously increased the likelihood of innocent men being sent to prison. Feminists are also lobbying against a current UK suggestion to grant anonymity to accused men just as it is granted to his accuser.

    There has been an explosion of false rape claims across the UK in recent years resulting in dreadful pain for innocent men. Note: I only include accusations that have been proven to have been malicious in court. I do not include cases where the charges were dismissed for lack of evidence either way.

    A man can have his life destroyed by just one pointed finger. Even if the accusation in withdrawn or the man is exonerated in court, the chances are that he will still be vilified by society on the basis that there’s no smoke without fire.

    Feminists have lobbied successfully in many countries to ensure that custodial sentences are not imposed upon women who make malicious accusations. They have not yet succeeded in this in the UK but they are still working on it.

    People who make these accusations cause enormous strain on police resources and make it more difficult for real victims to be taken seriously. Feminists should be condemning these women but they don’t. Feminism once again proves that the demonisation of men is more important to them than justice, equality or even the protection of women.

    Feminists have also pushed (again broadly successfully) for the definitions of sexual assault and sexual harassment to be broadened to the extent that almost any unwanted approach by a man to a woman, can be criminalized if the woman so chooses.

    A male colleague of mine was recently suspended from his job for sexual harassment. His offence? He asked one of his female co-workers out on a date. She said no. He didn’t persist. In other words he behaved like a perfect gentleman.

    She decided a few days later that his proposal had constituted sexual harassment and made a complaint. Her word was taken over his because of course he had already committed the crime of being male.

    The man was reinstated but there is no doubt that the incident damaged his career. The workplace atmosphere though, which had previously been relaxed and easy going, had been fatally poisoned, with men refusing to socialise or even go for lunch with their female colleagues. Men do not want to be around overgrown children who expect them to walk on eggshells.

    I laugh out loud sometimes when I hear feminists talk about equality and respect in the workplace when they encourage this kind of hateful childishness. How can women expect to be treated with respect when they are encouraged to whine like babies every-time anybody says anything they find “offensive”. It’s really embarrassing for women like me who really do believe in equality and really can stand on my own too feet.

    Feminist inspired campaigns against violence against women are often generously funded by the taxes of the men they are designed to demonize.

    Marchers in a recent “reclaim the streets” protest in Dublin were blissfully unaware that the vast majority of victims of violent assault on our streets are men. I would fully support any measures which would make the streets safer for people (although marching around chanting silly slogans isn’t going to solve anything) but I would never lend my support to any movement that is gender exclusive in any way. I believe in equality you see. If you did too then you wouldn’t be a feminist.

    Feminists have been encouraging women to ridicule and denigrate men and masculinity for so long now that misandry has become the bread and butter of media culture. It is so all pervasive that most people don’t even notice it. I was unaware of it myself for years until I began to think about it. In advertising especially, the man is almost always either a nice but stupid beefcake, a creepy leach or a dribbling moron who cannot figure out how to use a washing machine.

    This constant stereotyping of men is just advertisers giving women what they want. Women spend 70% of the western world’s disposable income so any advertiser ignores them at their peril. Women have been conditioned by feminism for decades to enjoy the ridiculing of men but this is not harmless.

    It drip feeds a poisonous acceptance into our society that it is OK to demonise half the population and lionise the other half. It damages women just as much as men. Whichever of these male character templates is chosen for a particular advert, the end result is always the same. The man is left with egg on his face by the actions or words of a sassy sophisticated woman who is obviously both his moral and intellectual superior.

    Probably the most disturbing example of this casual ridicule of men in the media that I can think of, is the show on US TV which featured a panel of middle aged women, laughing at the actions of Katherine Kieu Becker who had been convicted of cutting off her husbands penis and putting it through the waste disposal.

    One of the panelists described what Becker had done as “quite wonderful” to cheers and applause from an all female audience.

    Now imagine a panel of male personalities laughing and joking at the plight of a woman who had been drugged, bound and horrifically mutilated by her husband. None of those men would ever work again. Feminists would see to that. The slut-walks remember, were started in response, not to the actions, but the words of one man.

    Again feminists infantilise women. I don’t believe that anyone should ever be fired from their job for saying something no matter how offensive I may think they are. I believe that the right to free speech is sacred and absolute. I just wish feminists agreed with that.

    Feminists also seek to undermine what is left of democracy in the west by agitating for gender quotas. Again, they seek to constantly tilt the playing field against men by inventing all kinds of imaginary discrimination. There are no barriers in the western world to women running for election if they choose, and women constitute about 52% of the electorate in most countries.

    Feminists confuse woman’s choices with discrimination and that is just patronising to women. It is feminist movement, not the MRM who insult women by constantly suggesting that women are only capable of competing when the playing field is artificially tilted in their favour.

    Feminists constantly peddle the lie that they are just fighting for equality of opportunity and equality of choice for women. Women, right across the western world already have those things but feminists don’t like to talk about that. What feminists really want is not equality of opportunity, but equality of outcome.

    Not only is that the very anthesis of freedom, it is impossible to achieve anyway. The problem lies in the colossal amount of damage caused to western societies by the feminist inspired attempts to achieve the unachievable. (The speaker is female. I cannot add anything to her most cogent analysis.)

  34. Leonor says

    Europe’s Tragedy: Most Of Its Men Are ‘Feminized Wimps’ – Iben Thranholm (A Woman)

    Iben Thranholm examines political and social events with a focus on their religious aspects, significance, and moral implications. She is one of Denmark’s most widely read columnists on such matters. Thranholm is a former editor and radio host at the Danish Broadcasting Corporation (DR), at which she created a religious news program that set a new standard for religious analysis in the newsroom. She has traveled extensively in the Middle East, Italy, the United States and Russia to carry out research and interviews. She has been awarded for her investigative research into Danish media coverage of religious issues.

    After the incidents of sexual assault in Cologne, Germany, on New Year’s Eve committed by Muslim refugees against German women, feminist apologetics have acquired renewed vigor in the European debate. Pundits and politicians assure the public that refugee males now storming the gates of Europe from the Middle East, Northern Africa and Central Asia will be required to learn that Western women are independent and sexually liberated. Such arguments, however, are obviously too weak to have any impact on the male cultures representative of certain refugee groups. (No kidding.)

    To these individuals, strong European women are ‘easy’ victims. They have respect only for strong men. And strong men aren’t exactly thick on the ground in Europe. The deficiency of masculinity in European culture renders it impotent in the face of the political and cultural chaos that has escalated along with growing immigration.

    Instead of a single-minded focus on imposing liberal feminist values on Muslim males, it might well be much more beneficial for Europeans to consider if ***the feminist war on masculinity might be the underlying cause of the weakness of European culture*** — feeble and defenseless as it is — against the culture of immigrants and refugees. The irony is that the vacuum feminism has created means that women become victims of an aggressive male culture.

    ***************A recent survey conducted by the Pew Research Centre shows that the number of young men in the US who want to marry has dropped to the lowest level ever recorded.***********

    American author Suzanne Venker claims that the pervasive cultural influence of feminism is the cause. Venker states that men explain their lack of desire to marry with the observation that “women are no longer women”; feminism has programmed women to see men as the enemy. As a result, males have been made redundant in post-modern Western culture. Women no longer need men as a provider, protector or father of her children; an anonymous semen donor can do the job of creating a baby if a woman so chooses.

    Since the 1960s, modern mothers have raised their sons to be women, soaking them in feminine values like accepting responsibility for household chores, being caring, understanding and attentive, and bend to every wish of the woman. This has produced a generation of soft, insecure men, who are out of touch with their masculine nature, identity, and strength. *and more mentally disturbed, of course, very immature, and abandoning tough goals…***

    Today, many boys also grow up with no father in the home and have no male role models. The average modern Western male has been feminized, with no knowledge or habit of manly virtues like courage, resolve, self-sacrifice, justice, temperance, self-reliance, self-discipline, and honour. He has no sense of true expression of manliness. Feminism despises and rejects these virtues, and this has had a profoundly detrimental impact on a European culture, the “battered wife” of a feeble continent. The massive feminization of culture has had a major impact on politics. The prevailing ideology of Western liberal democracy is secular humanism, which is particularly feminine in character. Policy, especially as applied to immigrants, is a motherly embrace of goodness and overbearing indulgence. One could also interpret it as naivety, weakness, and accommodation. As the refugee crisis erupted and overwhelmed Europe, its political leaders – spearheaded by German Chancellor Angela Merkel – acted like timid mother hens, not as strong men responsible for guarding their country against an invasion. *bad analogy. Hens will attack. These women won’t.***

    Indeed, Danish police officers were seen playing with refugee children on motorways instead of doing their job of enforcing the law. They were lauded as heroes in the media. They acted like women with soft hearts and not as men entrusted with defending their country and the rule of law.

    Camille Paglia, self-professed “feminist dissident”, put it like this in the Daily Mail: “The entire elite class now, in finance, in politics and so on, none of them have military service — hardly anyone, there are a few. But there is no prestige attached to it anymore. That is a recipe for disaster… These people don’t think in military ways, so there’s this illusion out there that people are basically nice, people are basically kind if we’re just nice and benevolent to everyone they’ll be nice too. They literally don’t have any sense of evil or criminality.” ***Another reason feminism is spreading; people don’t understand the real world any more***

    According to Paglia, the results are there for all to see in the ongoing dysfunction in Washington, where politicians “lack practical skills of analysis and construction.”The precise problem is that Europe’s political leaders have no military background, unlike leaders of the past, for instance, Roosevelt, de Gaulle, and Churchill. For this reason, they lack the basic understanding for defending their culture, their country, and its inherent values. They are self-deprecating and apologetic, gullible and caring to the point where their policies become severely harmful to the populations they are supposed to protect.

    The feminine approach threatens to throw society into chaos and outright collapse because the rule of law and its enforcement are made subject to the priorities of care, understanding and inclusion. The shortage of masculine virtues affects society and the political system. The shortage of masculine virtues is the underlying cause of the immigration problems.

    The present clash with Islam, driven as it is by a dominant male culture, reveals the lamentable shortcomings of post-modern feminist culture, which does not possess the strength to defend itself against a male-dominated culture. The gross violations against women on New Year’s Eve in Cologne provide a chilling reminder of the contrast. ***This involved mass rape of women, by immigrant men, and the police did nothing- NOTHING- about it. Because it’s ok for immigrants to rape women in mass, even in churches, as they did, in Europe.*** Male aggression has gained a foothold and feminine values are helpless and unable to resist.

    At the moment, Europe resembles a woman who allows herself to be battered and abused by her man. Like many battered women, she tries to cover her man’s violations, makes excuses for him, and returns to him time after time.

    At the same time, immigration is inevitable in a globalized world. If Europe is to survive in an age of mass migration, there must be a male revolution. This revolution will be as important as the struggle for women’s rights in the 1960s. It is vital for Western men to acknowledge this need and start building social, cultural and political capital based on masculine virtues to defend the values upon which Europe is based. ***I am Spanish. Spanish woman want the macho man. Macho means he pays bills, takes care of family, is strong, respectful, good citizen. American think macho is bad. In Spain, only means masculine, like hembra, feminine.

  35. Nina says

    Presidents Club: The Hypocritical Moral Outrage of the ‘Feminist’ Online Mob
    >>This is a British newspaper article<>CHarity. You know, where people get together and raise money for worthy nonprofit enterprises, that benefit the public. One almost never sees feminists at them, or indeed, in any service to society. I worked in the worst neighborhoods of my city, for 18 years, and never once saw a feminist helping the women in desperate straits there. I always had local people introduce me, locals didn’t trust outsiders. Can you imagine a feminist charity? I can’t. Never seen one<>Oh, horrors- this must be some disrespect of women, that bears do that. Can we pass legislation?<>less money will be raised for charity<>modern feminism is very often anti-women<>Feminists are mostly upper class, and couldn’t care less about women in the lower classes<<

    In other words, these working women don’t really know what’s in their best interests. They are overgrown children, to be chastised or improved by FT reporters, Guardian columnists, and Labour politicians.You know what? That is infinitely more insulting to these women than what those rich blokes might have said to them. The final, terrible irony: the exposers of the Presidents Club rage against its sexism and yet they have unleashed a far worse kind of sexism — one which calls into question the very ability of working-class women to decide for themselves how to live their lives.

  36. Nina says

    Sorry, some of the below was truncated, when I posted it.

    Presidents Club: The Hypocritical Moral Outrage of the ‘Feminist’ Online Mob
    Brendan O’Neill, Spiked Current Affairs, Entertainment, Investigation, Lifestyle
    The reaction to the Presidents Club dinner is a “moralistic hissy fit”.

    Another moralistic hissy fit online, as the ‘Twitterati’, commentariat and other new-fangled guardians of decency once again fume against people for behaving badly or thinking differently.

    This time the target of their long fingers and seemingly inexhaustible fury has been the Presidents Club.

    For those Brits who live under a rock — lucky you — the Presidents Club is an annual get-together of rich and well-meaning men to raise money for charity.

    It is in its 33rd year. It takes place in plush, posh venues like the Dorchester in Park Lane. And as befits a coming together of the filthy rich and exclusively blokeish it is not, shall we say, PC.

    Yes, surprise, surprise, these moneyed men full of expensive plonk get a little debauched.

    Worst of all, at least in the prudish eyes of the media class, young women are employed at these events to serve drinks and flatter the men’s fat egos.

    The Financial Times, taking a break from blaming Brexit for literally everything that has gone wrong in Britain over the past 18 months, sent some undercover reporters to the Presidents Club.

    They fed back that the men sometimes say untoward things to the young women and even proposition them. Perhaps next week these reporters will stake out a forest in Canada and confirm to the world that, yes, bears really do defecate in woods.

    The fallout from the FT’s pearl-clutching exposure of the utterly unsurprising and completely legal behaviour at this charity-friendly event has been bonkers.

    Twitter went into meltdown. Labour MP Jess Phillips talked about the Presidents Club as if it were a 21st-century form of slavery. Great Ormond Street Hospital gave back the money it got from the event.

    And now, the Presidents Club has announced that it is folding.

    Presidents Club Gala at Dorchester
    Presidents Club Gala at Dorchester

    The morally outraged, the weirdly prim and angry mob that lives online and loves nothing better than to rage against people or institutions that don’t share it values, will be delighted.

    Yet as a result of their rage, less money will be raised for charity. Well done, guys. What does money for kids’ medical equipment matter in comparison with your sense of self-satisfaction at having toppled another thing that displeases you?
    What comes next? Surely all the men who ever attended this event — yes, including you, David Walliams — must now be paraded through the streets so that we can hurl rotten tomatoes, or at least angry tweets, in their repulsive direction.This destruction of a charity event by gangs of the easily offended tells us a depressing story about modern Britain.

    It confirms how empowered online mobs are. Through pooling their individual anger into a mass conformist cry of ‘NOT OK’ — the 21st-century equivalent of crying ‘blasphemy!’ 500 years ago — they can extract apologies from politicians, shame celebs out of public life, and bring charity do’s crashing down.These often time-rich, well-connected people are chilling public life, making it clear to everyone that if we say or do anything they find offensive, they will hunt us down.

    It also confirms the ascendancy of a stiff, middle-class moralism on sexual matters.

    First we had well-to-do female journalists making a national scandal of the fact that some male politician once put his hand on their knee.

    Now we have the well-educated ladies of the FT expressing horror that young, largely working-class women sometimes use their looks to make money.

    But why should the cushioned, increasingly sex-fearing smart set get to define what is acceptable in public life? Believe it or not, there are people out there — many people — who don’t think come-ons are harassment or that hands on knees are on a spectrum with sexual assault.

    Finally, and perhaps worst of all, the Presidents Club scandal shows that modern feminism is very often anti-women.

    The way the media are talking about the working women who served booze and massaged egos at these events is nothing short of disgraceful.

    These women have been infantilised, treated as poor, pathetic, brainwashed creatures in need of rescue by their more switched-on sisters.Even as some of the women who worked at the Presidents Club say they didn’t feel abused, still the saviour feminists insist they were.

    In other words, these working women don’t really know what’s in their best interests. They are overgrown children, to be chastised or improved by FT reporters, Guardian columnists, and Labour politicians.You know what? That is infinitely more insulting to these women than what those rich blokes might have said to them.

    The final, terrible irony: the exposers of the Presidents Club rage against its sexism and yet they have unleashed a far worse kind of sexism — one which calls into question the very ability of working-class women to decide for themselves how to live their lives.

    Brendan O’Neill is the editor of Spiked, an online magazine on politics and society that focuses on issues including political correctness, multiculturalism and censorship. Here, he explains why he thinks the reaction to the Presidents Club dinner, where female hostesses reported being groped and propositioned, is nothing more than Twitter being morally outraged and easily offended.

  37. Nina says

    Gender Pay Gap Down To ‘Women’s Lifestyle Choices’

    The battle for sexual equality is over and the gender pay gap is down to women making a choice between raising a family and climbing the career ladder, a leading >female< academic has claimed.

    Catherine Hakim, a sociologist at the London School of Economics, said women have the freedom to make lifestyle choices about their work and private lives, and that tougher equality law will not open any more doors for female workers. She warns that women who combine top executive roles with a family only have one child with whom they spend little time. In a 12,000 word report, Dr. Hakim described new government policies to promote equality are “pointless” and based on “feminist myths”.

    She says the pay gap has fallen to just 10 percent on the Government’s preferred median measure (the mean works out at 16 percent) and that it is a “waste of time” fretting about such a small difference.
    Dr. Hakim claimed in a study called Erotic Capital earlier this year that the most successful people in today’s increasingly image-conscious society are those who are the most attractive in appearance and manner.

    She believes women are now making an active choice between having a family and entering a senior position. “In Britain half of all women in senior positions are child-free and a lot more of them have nominal families with a single child and they subcontract out the work of caring for them to other women.” In the report called Feminist Myths and Magic Medicine, she says: “Equal opportunities policies have succeeded in giving equal access for women to the labour market.

    “People are confusing equal opportunities with equal outcomes, and there is little popular support for the kind of social engineering being demanded by feminists and legislators.” A government review by the Labour peer Lord Davies is considering whether to recommend that company boards should have to comprise at least 40 percent women.

    Dr. Hakim argues in her report that there has been a “stalled revolution” because women have settled into jobs they actually want.

  38. Nina says

    Feminists no longer seek equality of opportunity, as women now have more opportunity than men do. They now want equality of outcome. This has been achieved, and you can see places that have achieved it. They are called graveyards.

    Q: Is modern feminism a poison and is toxic?

    Related Questions Is feminism against men and promoting female supremacy?
    Feminism is destroying modern society. How do we, the people, get rid of this poison?
    What are the rights and wrongs of modern feminism?
    Is third wave feminism “cancer”?
    Why do we still need feminism?

    Jaydeep Deshpande
    It is like a new age religion. It will have some wonderful things at the lower levels. But the middle and upper rungs will be increasingly intoxicated with power…much like medieval religions were.

    Since modern media is constantly at your fingertips and in front of your eyes, and since it constantly operates as a business was and covers the stories of the top rungs which pay them (while leaving the few good ones of them out) I do agree it has become extremely toxic and poisonous…esp amongst the youth in urban progressive places. But no worries. I have seen people grow out of it. Eventually they give up on feminism and start leading happier lives.

    Totally. You’d be better off in the 1800s, or maybe the Middle Ages.

    My attitudes about feminism changed after major feminist groups failed to denounce President Bill Clinton’s harassment, retaliation, and unwanted sexual advances against many women. Such groups even failed to denounce actual rape and violence. They seemed to do this for ideological reasons.
    At that point I could no longer support these “mainstream” feminist groups. Feminism has gone off the rails. In some cases it’s now nothing but left-wing authoritarianism and misandry concealed under countless layers of entitlement.

    Thomas Sowell Quote: “When people get used to preferential treatment, equal treatment seems like discrimination.”

    Why do we still need feminism? Feminism is toxic. Why is that? If feminism is about equality, why is it named feminism? What aspects of masculinity aren’t accused of being toxic by feminists?
    It depends what you mean by modern day feminism. If you mean women getting better jobs, more women in STEM, women on the boards of top companies, more women in politics, etc then that is all fine to me. However modern feminism can often be after much more than that. For example, white/male privilege, manspreading, mansplaining, man hating and making white men the blame for everything which appears to have no solution. Now that is what I would disagree with.

    Oh, you mean the ‘’feminazis’’ which believe that women are superior to man and can’t really think factually in a conversation, those are extremely toxic and should be avoided…

    Everything can be toxic if it’s taken to the extreme. Some self-proclaimed feminists are indeed very toxic. They won’t admit it, of course, which only proves the point, since denying any internal problems is a clear sign of the toxic behaviour.

  39. Nina says

    Feminism began as a challenge to male domination and female subordination. It could have become a champion of equality and the dignity of individual human beings. Unfortunately, contemporary feminism is not a liberation from sexism. It is true that feminism rejects anti-female sexism. But in place of anti-female sexism, it does not advocate gender-blind standards; it does not advocate treating individuals as complex human beings; it does not reject reducing people to their sex/gender. On the contrary, feminism, as indicated by its name, is a movement that sees people as defined by their gender, and lobbies for the interests of females. In short, feminism does not reject sexism, but advocates anti-male sexism.

    In complement to feminism’s framing of females as oppressed by males, while having their qualities of strength and intelligence underrated by men, men are framed as arrogant and insensitive, oppressive, and brutal. The systematic vilification and demonization of males is part of the feminist strategy of raising women by lowering men, by convincing people that women are good and men are bad. Note that this is simply a reversal of anti-female sexism into anti-male sexism. All males, whatever their individual qualities, are reduced to a common set of evil characteristics, while all females are celebrated as sensitive, smart, and strong.

    Female victimhood is described in many feminist works. Here is one well known example, as seen through the eyes of the female protagonist in a short story: I snuck Reviving Ophelia [by Mary Pipher] from my mother’s nightstand and learned how I was going to lose myself, that my childhood was Eden but I had to leave, that in this poisonous late-twentieth-century misogynist culture, anorexia and suicide and rape and self-hate were the inevitable wages of womanhood.[1]

    But acclaimed Canadian fiction writer Margaret Atwood’s The Handmaid’s Tale, together with its television version, now in its second year, is probably better known, and the dystopian picture it presents is even more dire: Offred is a Handmaid in the Republic of Gilead, a totalitarian and theocratic state that has replaced the United States of America. Because of dangerously low reproduction rates, Handmaids are assigned to bear children for elite couples that have trouble conceiving. Offred serves the Commander and his wife, Serena Joy, a former gospel singer and advocate for “traditional values.” Offred is not the narrator’s real name. Handmaid names consist of the word “of” followed by the name of the Handmaid’s Commander. Every month, when Offred is at the right point in her menstrual cycle, she must have impersonal, wordless sex with the Commander while Serena sits behind her, holding her hands. Offred’s freedom, like the freedom of all women, is completely restricted. She can leave the house only on shopping trips, the door to her room cannot be completely shut, and the Eyes, Gilead’s secret police force, watch her every public move.[2]

    The Republic of Gilead is a creation of the imagination, and is about as far from modern Western society as one could imagine. It is an attempt to think how people, in this case women, could survive and adjust to an extreme situation. But Atwood is a self-identified and celebrated feminist. What is her message to women in this work? Is she saying that men can never be trusted, and women, for their own self defense, should take control of society and keep men well away from power? If so, is that an appropriate message for 20th and 21st century Canada and America? The feminist tactic appears to be, once again, scaring women and demonizing men.

    Another overt feminist anti-male expression is the demand that heterosexual females forgo intimate relations with men in favour of “political lesbianism.”[3] Here is how it is defined in a pamphlet entitled “Love Your Enemy?”: “All feminists can and should be lesbians. Our definition of a political lesbian is a woman-identified woman who does not fuck men.”[4] Political lesbianism is not a matter of sexual inclination; it is not about women attracted only to women. “It does not mean compulsory sexual activity with women.” Rather, the point is “to get rid of men from your beds and your heads.”[5] Female students at some distinguished American women’s colleges were under feminist peer pressure not to date men.[6]

    Feminism classifies all men, with the exception of gays, into three categories: rapists, sexual harassers, and potential rapists and harassers. Feminism does not explain this male criminality in biological terms, because feminists reject the biological basis of sex, so that women cannot be seen to be limited by biological influences. Rather, male sexual brutality is explained as a result of our so-called misogynist “rape culture.” This is an incoherent and false idea, because our culture forbids and punishes rape.[7] The #MeToo movement, a litany of unsubstantiated claims of having been sexually harassed, is another strategic step in vilifying all men, and, by contrast, claiming innocent virtue and victimhood for all women. While some men are abusive and should be stopped, #MeToo, like “rape culture,” colours all men as abusive or potentially abusive. This provides a basis in “safety” for feminists to call for greater priority for women in all fields and the sidelining of men.[8]

    Feminist particularism is shown clearly by the constantly repeated demand that when a woman makes an allegation, she must be believed. Hillary Clinton, during her campaign for the U.S. Presidency, tweeted “Every survivor of sexual assault deserves to be heard, believed, and supported.” (Unless the accused is Bill Clinton, of course.)[9] Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, who self-identifies as a feminist, asserts that we should “believe all allegations.”[10]

    American universities and colleges responded to President Obama’s directive to prosecute sexual assault cases vigorously by jettisoning due process and the presumption of innocence.[11] At McGill University, any female who makes an allegation of sexual assault is officially labelled a “survivor.” At McGill, there is apparently a presumption of truth in any allegation, and the presumption of innocence of the accused is disregarded.[12] What we know is that, when those accused of sexual assault are brought to court, rather than being lynched by university committees, the cases are often thrown out due to lack of evidence and credibility, and in some cases, the accusers are shown to have lied, and in some cases are indicted and sent to jail.[13]

    If feminists thought of human beings as individuals, rather than as members of one good and one bad category, they might realize that many, perhaps most people lie, and that any allegation must be tested rigorously if we are concerned about justice and about avoiding punishing innocent individuals. Unfortunately, feminists are not all concerned about avoiding punishing the innocent.

  40. Nina says

    “No, we haven’t gone too far, nor far enough. Male privilege, male hegemony and male chauvinism has been around for millennia all the while women and girls carrying the burden and paying the price for doing nothing but being female. The only way to change the equation is for men to begin paying that price, guilty or not.”[14] Margaret Atwood, herself a feminist literary icon, came under attack from other feminists when she called for “transparency” in inquiries about sexual assault. One critic wrote ‘Margaret Atwood’s latest op-ed is a very, very clear reminded that old cis women are not to be trusted. They care more about poor widdle [sic] accused men than they do about actual f****** rape victims. They spend as much time advocating for rapists as they do attacking victims.’ Atwood says that “she’s been called a ‘bad feminist’ for insisting on due process for Galloway, the former chair of the creative writing program, and warned the dangers of letting justice for all fall by the wayside in favor of extreme feminism.”[15] Today’s feminists apparently believe that due process and “innocent until proven guilty” are outmoded male supremacist tricks.[16]

    Another unfortunate example of the feminist approach is the debate about child custody after the breakdown of a marriage. After a long-standing policy in Canada and the U.S. of favouring mothers for custody and fathers for child support payments, more recent discussion has focussed on joint custody and its advantages. Most scientific studies show that the best interests of children are served by joint custody. Children without fathers in their lives suffer a wide range of ill effects. Citing a host of North American studies, Kruk’s report points to the long-term dangers: Some 85 percent of youth in prison are fatherless; 71 percent of high school dropouts grew up without fathers, as did 90 percent of runaway children. Fatherless youth are also more prone to depression, suicide, delinquency, promiscuity, drug abuse, behavioural problems and teen pregnancy, warns the 84-page report, a compilation of dozens of studies around divorce and custody, including some of his own research over the past 20 years.[17]

    But whenever legislation supporting joint custody is being considered, feminist groups such as the National Organization of Women, the League of Women Voters, Breastfeeding Coalition, National Council of Jewish Women, and UniteWomen FL, lobby and demonstrate against it.[18] In Canada, feminist lawyers have argued against joint custody.[19] In both Canada and the U.S., feminists, disregarding the best interest of children, have energetically opposed joint custody as the default arrangement for children in broken marriages. Feminists prefer to support the best interests of mothers rather than those of children. For feminists, once again, gender trumps all other values, even the well-being of children.

    Feminists are never shy of demanding that gender representation in any organization or activity reflect the demography of the general population. Our self-proclaimed feminist Prime Minister proudly celebrates his gender balanced cabinet having an equal number of females to males.[20] But the pressure to favour females does not end with equal gender representation. We see this in Canadian universities, where 60 percent of the graduates are female.[21] In the United States,

    On a national scale, public universities had the most even division between male and female students, with a male-female ratio of 43.6-56.4. While that difference is substantial, it still is smaller than private not-for-profit institutions (42.5-57.5) or all private schools (40.7-59.3). … It should also be noted that the national male-female ratio for 18-24 year olds is actually 51-49, meaning there are more (traditionally) college-aged males than females.[22]Do not imagine that there have been any feminist calls for the gender ratio in universities to be rebalanced.

    At McGill University, the classes I taught showed an increased female dominance. In fall 2017, my senior seminar on “Immigration and Culture” had 18 registrants, all female. All of the social sciences and humanities departments, the entire Faculty of Arts, are demographically dominated by females, just as feminist ideology dominates in that Faculty, as well as in Education, Social Work, and Law. My female colleagues insisted on hiring only other females, which is pretty much what happened. There is also a major McGill campaign, complete with banners all around campus, to celebrate female scientists and direct female studies into STEM fields.[23]

    But feminists are not just looking for a female demographic increase in science. They are also looking for an ideological transformation; they are advocating “feminist science,” which is “socially just science,” which should supersede objective observation and testing.[24] “Feminist science” should work at least as well as “Soviet democracy” and “scientific racism.”[25]

    Female demographic domination of universities does not end with student numbers. The female Principal of McGill recently bragged that “Currently, 50 percent of McGill’s deans are female. As of July 1, when two new appointments take effect, that number will increase to 58 percent.”[26] Apparently gender imbalance is not a bad thing, when it favours females. If the trend continues, McGill University will end up a completely female institution.

    A feminist lawyer invented the idea of “intersectionality,”[27] which not only identifies multiple gender, race, and class “oppressions” suffered by particular individuals, but also advises that radicals of disaffected groups unite to undermine alleged oppressors. This has led to some remarkable incoherencies, such as the alliance of feminism with Islamist Palestinians and their male supremacism and subjection of women,[28] and with antisemites such as Louis Farrakhan, black nationalist and leader of the Nation of Islam.[29] Intersectionality brings blacks to identify with “people of colour” Palestinians, and against “white” Israelis, because they identify on the basis of imagined race, in spite of Arab slave raiding in Africa and the fact that blacks are called “abid,” or slave, in the Arab world.[30]

    It is difficult to know how many individuals who self-identify as feminist hope only to be treated fairly as individuals, and how many, whether implicitly or explicitly, take a female supremacist view. Certainly the feminist organizations act as if they take a supremacist approach. The net effect of toxic feminism is to reduce complex human individuals to simplistic gender categories, to dismiss all values but the partisan interests of females, and to endorse anti-male sexism.

  41. Ewilda says

    There is an easy measure to see if a woman above the age of 25-30 is harboring negative love scripts, about marriage. Does she want to be married, and if so, is she happily married? If not, then there is some kind of negative love script.

  42. Carolyn says

    Feminism is a destructive force in American society
    Blogger Matt Walsh, contributor to The Blaze, put it best: “feminism is poison.” It has done nothing less than destroy the heart of our nation.

    One doesn’t have to be a feminist to believe women should be respected and shouldn’t be assaulted or treated unfairly. Does one have to be a masculinist to believe men shouldn’t be assaulted or treated badly? Of course not, because such a person believes in equality under the law.

    Feminism isn’t about equality or justice. Feminism is about *hatred of womanhood*. That which makes women unique and beautiful, feminism tears down as vile and degenerate.

    Generally, feminists champion causes like sexual freedom and reproductive rights, which have been the detriment of women and the family unit. In their fear of true womanhood, feminists have desecrated that which is good.

    For example, the ability to conceive life — a truly remarkable gift — is turned into a burden and curse on a woman’s career or life choices by feminism. A child turns into an inconvenience or a pest that must be avoided in the name of equality and fairness. Those aligned with feminism proclaim no one can tell a woman what to do in these situations — especially if she doesn’t desire the hindrance within her belly.

    This hatred of womanhood stems from marriage and our society’s great misunderstanding of it. Since the time of Elizabeth Cady Stanton, women’s suffragists and feminists in America have done everything in their power to dissolve marriage — the sacred institution in which true womanhood is fully realized. People like Stanton saw marriage as it is often seen now — a means for men to enslave women and hold ultimate power over them.

    During her speech entitled “Marriage and Divorce,” Stanton commented on marriage and stated, “When husbands and wives do not own each other as property, but are bound together only by affection, marriage will be a life-long friendship, and not a heavy yoke from which both may sometimes long for deliverance.”

    What an unfortunate understanding of marriage. Yet, we see this view embraced so highly today and it continues to harm our nation. It encourages men and women to function as two, rather than work together as one in a life-long bond.

    Feminism works to further this divide. It seeks to separate and destroy the very foundation of civilization, the family — and it has succeeded. According to a 2012 Pew Research poll, marriage is “being replaced by cohabitation, single-parent households and other living arrangements.” This downturn of marriage has all the makings of an anarchistic society.

    Feminist views reflect the shallowness of our generation and in the process trample the family — society’s richest treasure.

  43. Jordan says

    Negative Love Scripts:
    1. Men are stupid (they can be. And when you believe this, you set up a filter, so you only notice stupid men. Basic Quantum Mechanics- the Universe reflects your intent back at you.)
    2. All sex is rape. (Standard feminist propaganda.) Cool. Polite men certainly won’t want to have anything to do with you. I wouldn’t touch you with the 19th c. tool used to measure wood- a 10 foot pole. I don’t want to be anywhere near a woman with this belief. Could you put this on a T-shirt, to help me avoid you?
    3. Marriage is oppression. Great. Go to your sperm bank, for your kids. Cut their parental training in half. At least. And then explain to your 11 year old son why he has no dad around. (a real story). Years ago, I read a blog, about a woman in some lesbian community, with a son. Who realized that, well, yes, he was looking for male role models, and women who looked like men didn’t fill the bill. She asked for advice on how to deal with it.
    4. Men only want one thing. Oh, how smart, filter your world so you only find men like that. Men are indeed very simple. They want respect, kind of like… you do. Love is good. Contributing to a team is good. Intelligent decisions are good. Him not feeling like he’s being parasitically exploited is good. They really don’t care about your makeup. They don’t care all that much about your clothes, and can’t understand why you spend so much money on them. Long hair, combed, is good. Physical and mental health is good. Men, generally, have rather low standards, in women. They’ll even go out with 5’s, if she has a pleasant personality, whereas most women want a 10 of 10 for hot, 10 for money, 10 for attention giving, 10 for giving her lots of money to waste, 10 for patience, 10 for new BMW, and so on.
    5. Karma. What you put out comes back to you- with interest. Not understanding this circle of life is a major limiting thing. I remember a feminist in college, who loved insulting men, she just had to keep doing it. I looked at her, and smiled. Why would I waste my time and energy, responding? I think that made her madder. Oh well. I saw her later, where I was working. She lasted fewer days than I have fingers. Too much time bitching, not enough working. I worked in that job over three years, and paid my bills, and some of my college tuition, at that job. I’m sure she went on to insult men, wherever she has ended up. She practiced it like it was a martial art. Rotsa ruck, GI. Perhaps she learned wisdom. Or not. Not my problem.
    6. The world does not revolve around you. You exist in the larger world. Not understanding this is a major limiting belief system. Solipsism is the idea that you yourself are all that exists, and everything around you is at most a plaything. It’s an old Greek idea, and the upper levels of Buddhism consider it a possibility. American women practice solipsism to a degree unmatched anywhere else in the world. Even a baby understands that mom is a separate being. Men already know they have to give more than they get, in marriage, well most do.
    7. Decisions have consequences. You can choose to be a total idiot. You cannot choose to avoid the consequences of that decision. Believing otherwise is a setup for some painful education.
    8. Most people will give out what was given to them. So if you treat them with respect, they will often respond with respect. If you treat them badly, they will leave, or find some way to take revenge.
    9. If you take a starving dog off the street, feed it, give it a warm place to sleep, treat it well, it most likely will not bite you. Changing Mark Twain a little, and that is the primary difference between a dog, and a feminist.
    10. The major limiting belief in the USA today, is that ideology is somehow reality. It is not. The map is not the territory, and never was.
    11. All systems work on feedback. Paying attention to feedback is very important, because you can correct your behavior, and become more efficient and effective. This is a lifetime learning. Ignoring feedback has unpleasant consequences.
    12. Giving love builds you up. Not believing so is a major limiting belief. Practice today. Can you imagine the words “loving” and “feminist” together? I cannot. It is an oxymoron, like “efficient bureaucracy”, and the classic, “military intelligence”, and you can be sure an intel guy, who worked in MI, was the first to note this. There are intelligent people in the military, but the system is, well, often counter-productive.
    13. The warrior heart is the ultimate in life. Can women have the warrior heart? Yes. They can. One of the supreme warriors of our time was a female warrior. She was not a nun, dressed in battle armor, fighting in a battle- as one can see in the Army museum in Spain- a real woman, yes, a nun, who fought in armor, with a sword, in battles, in macho Spain, and she was not the only one. A supreme warrior heart women in our time was a nun, however, and she had every aspect of the warrior’s heart. She is commonly called Mother Theresa. I study her quotes, to learn, myself. I have met a few women operating at that level. One of them was my own mother.
    14. Life lived for self, only, is a limiting belief. We are all connected- if we seek out the connections. A life lived in service, is a life well spent. Compare old people who are selfish, with those who lived in service to others. It is like comparing rotting wood, to a flower in full bloom.

    Well, ok, so you have a bit of wisdom. Comedians are funny because only they speak the truth.

    Don’t wash your hair in the shower
    It’s so good to finally get a health warning that is useful!!!

    INVOLVES THE SHAMPOO WHEN IT RUNS DOWN YOUR BODY WHEN YOU SHOWER WITH IT
    WARNING TO US ALL!!!
    Shampoo Warning!

    I don’t know WHY I didn’t figure this out sooner!
    I use shampoo in the shower! When I wash my hair, the shampoo runs down my whole body, and printed very clearly on the shampoo label is this warning, “FOR EXTRA BODY AND VOLUME.”

    No wonder I have been gaining weight!
    Well! I got rid of that shampoo and I am going to start showering with dishwashing soap instead. Its label reads, “DISSOLVES FAT THAT IS OTHERWISE DIFFICULT TO REMOVE.”

    Problem solved!
    If I don’t answer the phone I’ll be in the shower!

  44. Mary Ann says

    This is too serious. Need some light stuff.

    While I sat in the reception area of my doctor’s office, a woman
    rolled an elderly man in a wheelchair into the room. As she
    went to the receptionist’s desk, the man sat there, alone and
    silent. Just as I was thinking I should make small talk with him,
    a little boy slipped off his mother’s lap and walked over to the
    wheelchair. Placing his hand on the man’s, he said, I know how
    you feel. My Mom makes me ride in the stroller too..’

    *****

    As I was nursing my baby, my cousin’s six-year-old daughter,
    Krissy, came into the room. Never having seen anyone breast feed
    before, she was intrigued and full of all kinds of questions
    about what I was doing. After mulling over my answers, she
    remarked, ‘My mom has some of those, but I don’t think she knows
    how to use them..’

    *****

    Out bicycling one day with my eight-year-old Granddaughter, Carolyn,
    I got a little wistful. ‘In ten years,’ I said, ‘you’ll want to be
    with your friends and you won’t go walking, biking, and swimming
    with me like you do now.
    Carolyn shrugged. ‘In ten years you’ll be too old to do all those
    things anyway.’

    *****

    Working as a pediatric nurse, I had the difficult assignment of
    giving immunization shots to children..
    One day, I entered the examining room to give four-year-old Lizzie
    her needle. ‘No, no, no!’ she screamed. ‘Lizzie,’ scolded her
    mother, ‘that’s not polite behavior.’ With that, the girl yelled
    even louder, ‘No, thank you! No, thank you!

    ******

    On the way back from a Cub Scout meeting, my grandson innocently
    said to my son, ‘Dad, I know babies come from mommies’ tummies, but
    how do they get there in the first place?’ After my son hemmed and
    hawed awhile, my grandson finally spoke up in disgust, ‘You don’t
    have to make up something, Dad. It’s okay if you don’t know the
    answer.’

    *****

    Just before I was deployed to Iraq , I sat my eight-year-old son
    down and broke the news to him. ‘I’m going to be away for a long
    time,’ I told him ‘I’m going to Iraq ..’ ‘Why?’ he asked. ‘Don’t
    you know there’s a war going on over there?’

    *****

    …and ….God’s problem now:

    His wife’s graveside service was just barely finished, when there
    was a massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of
    lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance.
    The little, old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, “Well,
    she’s there.”

    A smile – is a sign of joy.
    A hug – is a sign of love.
    A laugh – is a sign of happiness.
    And a friend like me? – Well that’s just a sign of good taste!

    We’ll be friends until I am senile.

    Then we’ll be NEW friends.

  45. Ellen says

    Humor is the greatest weapon in the world against demagogues, feminists, and tyrants. How long would Genghis Khan have lasted if Woody Allen had done a number of him?

  46. Nancy says

    Marriage

    When a man marries a woman, they become one; but the trouble starts
    when they try to decide which one.

    If a man has enough horse sense to treat his wife like a thoroughbred,
    she will never turn into an old nag.

    On anniversaries, the wise husband always forgets the past – but never
    the present.

    A foolish husband says to his wife, “Honey, you stick to the washin’, ironin’, cookin’, and scrubbin’. No
    wife of mine is gonna work.”

    The bonds of matrimony are a good investment, only when the interest is kept up.

    Many girls like to marry a military man – he can cook, sew, and make beds, and is in good health, and he’s already used to taking orders. [said just after WW II]

    Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age, and start bragging about it.

    The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

    Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to
    know “why” I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the
    roads weren’t paved.

    How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?

    When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to your youth….
    Remember about Algebra.

    You know you are getting old, when everything either dries up, or
    leaks.

    I don’t know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

    One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such
    a nice change from being young.

    Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

    Old age is when former classmates are so gray and wrinkled and bald,
    they don’t recognize you.

    If you don’t learn to laugh at trouble, you won’t have anything to
    laugh at when you are old.

    Whether a man winds up with a nest egg, or a goose egg, depends a lot on
    the kind of chick he marries.

    Trouble in marriage often starts when a man gets so busy earnin’ his
    salt, that he forgets his sugar.

    Too many couples marry for better, or for worse, but not for good.
    Things to do on an elevator.
    (People living in New York city can disregard this)

    Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.

    Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.

    Push the buttons as if playing a piano, and make noises as you push the
    buttons.

    Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what
    floor you’re on.

    Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.

    Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they
    have an appointment.

    Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.

    Memorize a recent political speech. Give it verbatim, and then criticize
    yourself for not doing better.

    Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and
    exits with the passengers.

    When the doors close, announce to the others, “It’s okay, don’t panic,
    they open again!”

    Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, “Shut up,
    all of you, just shut up!”

    Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, “Got
    enough air in there?”

    Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without
    getting off.

    Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other
    passengers, “This is MY personal space!”

    And the classic… a man got on a crowded elevator in a hospital, with
    his very pregnant wife. As the door opened, at their floor, he turned to
    her, and said, “No, I won’t marry you.”

    A woman who seemed to have no trouble finding male partners once told me, as an aside, apparently totally seriously, after someone said something about growing and feeling old, “Oh no, women don’t do that. You aren’t as old as you feel. You’re only as old as the man you feel.”
    =================

    Yesterday is a canceled check
    Tomorrow is a promissory note,
    Today is the only cash you have
    so spend it wisely

  47. Ewen says

    Negative love scripts, oh, you mean the constant drumbeat of sewage from the mass media. The first step to wisdom is realizing that there is no better tool for lying with, than a printing press, unless it is a TV camera. Journalists are among the least intelligent people in our country. THey know nothing. They are like dogs, who, hearing another dog bark, begin barking themselves.

    If you want a good marriage- start imagining it. You don’t get a good marriage by avoiding divorce. You get a good marriage by putting your energy into a good marriage, and putting no energy or attention into divorce. You get a good marriage by choosing well. I know a woman, originally from Alabama, because we were in a training for work, 30 years ago. 30 years ago, she was around 22 or 23. She was overweight, but very pleasant, had a nice smile. Worked hard. Got married. I saw her about a year ago, as part of work. She looks better now than she did 30 years ago. I mean it. She does. SHe took off the weight, has gotten if anything more pleasant. I’m married, and so is she, so we’ll never be more than acquaintances, but she literally looks a good deal better now than she did 30 years ago. She is now easily a 9.

    Great husbands and wives are not born that way. They ***BECOME*** that way, over time. They grow into that. This woman is religious, so divorce is not on the table. And she chose well. Women don’t understand that picking a husband is like picking a sapling, to plant. You choose a healthy one, plant it, water it, feed it, treat it well- and it grows.

    You probably don’t have the experience to choose well, prior to say 25. Though you can avoid the worst of the lot. I remember a woman in college. She was engaged. Wanted a traditional wedding of her religious type. She also had a new boyfriend, every week- she loved sleeping with guys, and then dumping them. I calibrated her very carefully, so I would know how to recognize that pattern again. I calibrate women as much as I can. And now, I can predict which ones have good hearts, and which ones like to play with bad boys on the side. Women in their early 20’s assume, correctly, that all men are stupid. And so they are, in their early 20’s. Women in their later 30’s assume, incorrectly, that all men are stupid. Sure, some still are, but pain has woken up the majority of men, by the time they hit their 30’s. I see newly divorced women who think they are still God’s gift to men, sure they can find a guy quickly. Heh heh. It’s fun to watch them come slowly to the realization that their targets have acquired intelligence, and aren’t nearly as easy to catch. Men in their 30’s can walk away from pussy, no matter how beautiful the package is. That really throws women for a loop.
    Marriage is like investing in stocks. You do your research, develop your methodology, do the best you can- and then plunge. I will say that men, generally, are a lot easier to please than women are, mostly. Women who follow even just the simple rules of “Care and Feeding of Husbands” will mostly do very well.

  48. Julie says

    There is one major negative love script women have.
    It is that Women Are Late Learners, WALL for short. Men get burned early. Women are cushioned, when young, and pampered. They don’t understand that this doesn’t last forever, it is only in their Springtime. And then they hit the wall. The smart ones do so softly. The dumb ones hit it at high speed.

    • Carl says

      And there are a few women, often in proto fifth dimensional energy, who gently sail right over that wall, and look very good, even in their seventies. I have a friend married to a very pleasant Mexican woman, who is all heart, who is like that. She is his partner, wife, confidante, and so much else. That guy smiles from his heart, when I see him. He is in his seventies, and he can hike 20 miles, at a good pace, in the woods, and run like a deer. Far, far better than the wife who tried to take him to the cleaners in divorce court, mess up their child’s head, and make his life hell. His assets were tied up where they couldn’t be touched, though, and she got nothing.

  49. Ewilda says

    Negative love scripts. Oh yes. Women’s magazines! Women’s talk shows on TV! Feminism! Books on love, for women, that are full of crap!

  50. Denise says

    We had next door neighbors, when I was in high school. The husband was alcoholic, and the wife was, well, hard to get along with. He was on the road, doing sales, home weekends. My father, who was an alcoholic at the time, theorized that he drank alcohol because she was the way she was. My mother theorized that she was the way she was, because her husband drank. Which shows the limitation of linear models. A systemic model would have noted that they fed each other’s negative behaviors, in a sort of vicious cycle. The negative script you cite.

    Which suggests that the best marriages are based on a virtuous cycle, of positive attention, love, and so on. This sounds very simplistic. Just like you never quit, in military training. It is simple. And holding to this has such great rewards. Revenge is counterproductive. Putting little attention on the negative, and lots of attention on the positive, is very productive. A positive to negative ratio of at least 5 to 1 is a good start, to getting out of negative scripts. Then go to 10 to 1. Even 20 to 1. Do we have any takers for 100 to 1?

  51. Carl says

    And there are a few women, often in proto fifth dimensional energy, who gently sail right over that wall, and look very good, even in their seventies. I have a friend married to a very pleasant Mexican woman, who is all heart, who is like that. She is his partner, wife, confidante, and so much else. That guy smiles from his heart, when I see him. He is in his seventies, and he can hike 20 miles, at a good pace, in the woods, and run like a deer. Far, far better than the wife who tried to take him to the cleaners in divorce court, mess up their child’s head, and make his life hell. His assets were tied up where they couldn’t be touched, though, and she got nothing.

  52. Thad says

    You said: if women do get married and have children, their lives shouldn’t [have to] change in any way. They should simply carry on with their pre-kid lives; and if they’re unable to manage it, that’s the fault of men and society.

    My wife is Spanish. She had a good friend, in high school, who was a partier, in the Spanish way of the time; max one drink, at the bar, which is more like a social club, and having a great time with friends. Because Spaniards know that having fun with friends is so much better than mass media, and the other addictive pursuits isolated Americans engage in. Also a conservative Catholic, she wasn’t passing out her value to bad boys. She had one boyfriend, in the way that Spanish women still do, for a while. They took ten years to graduate college, because of their challenging social life. She came from a big family, which got her an apartment; (she was the youngest daughter, that everybody else doted on) – which in Spain, along with the job, is the magic signal to get married. Which she did. And, like people in traditional cultures, she knew life was changing. So she gave up the partying, and they settled into their work lives. We met them this summer. They have two teenagers, who are well taken care of, and both of them are maturing, well. The adjusted to the changing seasons. Spaniards are remarkably well grounded, and generally families are close, as close as my parents’ families were.

    • Nancy says

      When I travel overseas, I realize that most of the world makes better decisions about marriage, partners, and so on, than Americans do. Americans seem like immature children, to so many foreigners. And what more immature children are there in this country, than feminists?

  53. Mark says

    Whatever the culture deems is the “thing to do” most people will do, even if that “thing” belies common sense or is flat out false. – as you stated above. Monkey see, monkey do.

    I see a fair number of men, say in their late 20’s, 30’s, suddenly getting tired of the culture, the drugs, and so on. Rather like St. Francis did, though they have no idea who he is. They get ancy. Something grows in their guts, and they aren’t sure what it is. Some of them realize they have to go walkabout, for a time, to let it out. Some will do Vision Quests. Some will pursue activities, perhaps mountain climbing, or extreme sports, to “find themselves”. And roughly at the age of 30, many do find themselves, though it’s an ongoing process. Some of them start their career jobs, at this age. Another place I find them is wilderness skills schools. Hollowtop.com used to list over 1,000 of them. I saw many of them at Tom Brown’s Tracker courses. Even the Teaching Drum picks some of them up, I met a teacher there, who was totally disgusted with an educational system in California, that doesn’t serve the kids. One finds them at seminars, like Matrix Energetics. Avatar and Access Consciousness is another place one finds them. Once they get into their career groove, this is the time when they seek a spouse, a real wife. They may have partied before, but now, they seek a good wife. And the pickin’s are not always good, because women are no longer socialized to be healthy members of a marriage partnership. The women they end up with are not attractive in the mass media sense- they use minimal cosmetics, dress intelligently as opposed to fashionably, do not wear high heels- because they know high heels destroy knees, over time. They eat well, these women. They may seem plain, until they smile, when they are radiant, because they are connected with their hearts. They usually work, at least part time, and are totally committed to raising their children well. They are largely invisible unless you know what to look for. It is interesting to see this, as I’ve never seen this covered in the mass media. But then again, these people want to be off the grid as much as possible- and cutting out the mass media is the first step to regaining sanity.

  54. Horatio says

    In the military, the recruits know to get the veterans talking, to learn. Suzanne, what about sharing something like this, on marriage? Here’s a rough example:

    If I could travel back in time and do one thing, I would give myself of advice. Some of these lessons took me a very long time to learn- and while I wish I could have learned them faster, it would have taken me even longer if I didn’t have help. Sadly, we can’t time travel, but what we can do is learn from others, which is a hell of a lot faster than trying to figure things out for ourselves.

    Natural talent is mostly a myth

    Tiger Woods started learning to play golf when he was one year old. Most of what we think of as natural talent is really just the result of having started practice early. This is VERY true in marriage.

    2. To get good at something, you need to love the process

    The people who get good at signing songs are those enjoy singing scales and doing warmup exercises. The people who get really good at basketball are those who enjoy doing dribbling and layup drills. Successful online business owners don’t just enjoy making money; they enjoy doing things like writing articles or managing ad campaigns. Everyone wants the outcome, but in order to be motivated to work towards it, day in and day out, you have to learn to get some enjoyment out of the process. You won’t always enjoy things when you first start out. In many cases, you’ll need to build the habit of just doing it now, and let the enjoyment grow over time. THIS APPLIES TO MARRIAGE.

    3. Negativity and positivity can both screw you over, just in different ways

    If you’re too negative, you’ll intimidate yourself out of trying things, get too hung up on past failures, and won’t be fun to be around. If you’re too positive, you’ll be overconfident, fail to anticipate how your plans can go awry, and constantly let yourself off the hook for your failures, without learning from them. Better to be hopeful, but also objective and realistic. Anticipate how things can go wrong, and make contingency plans. Analyse your failures and learn from them, without beating yourself up. OLD COUPLES WOULD AGREE.

    4. Never be dismissive of things you don’t understand

    If someone says “I don’t understand how anyone could like X,” what they usually mean is “X is stupid.” But surely your lack of understanding is a failure on your part? Any time you find yourself being dismissive of something you don’t understand, make an effort to understand it instead. Any time you ask a rhetorical question you don’t know the answer to, try asking it as a regular question instead.

    5. Get comfortable not having an opinion

    It’s important to be able to justify your opinions, but not everything is important enough for you to put a lot of research into. Too often, we feel obligated to have an opinion on every topic set before us. Don’t. If someone asks you your opinion about a topic you haven’t thought about before, don’t make one up on the spot- but admitting that you haven’t thought about it yet, you retain the ability to form a well-informed opinion later on. Americans are ADDICTED to closure, and certainty. But these commodities are rare, and sometimes false.

    6. You only have so many fucks to give. Ration them carefully.

    Everything you care about uses some of your limited supply of mental energy. Many ambitious or “socially conscious” people fail to grasp this- they get worked up about everything, and accomplish nothing. Practice strategic apathy; reserve your energy for a small number of important things. If it helps, don’t think of it as apathy- think of it as focus. WORKS IN MARRIAGE!

    7. Always have just one or two goals you’re focusing on

    To make big improvements in one area of your life, you need to work on that one area for at least 20 hours a week, for at least three months. 40 hours a week for a year would be better. You can only do this for one or two things at a time. You can and should have more than two life goals, but learn to focus on one or two at a time, while saving the others for later. WORKS IN MARRIAGE!

    8. Moderation is usually just an excuse to be average

    You don’t get into amazing shape by drinking moderate amounts of alcohol, eating moderate amounts of junk food, and exercising moderately a couple times a week. You don’t become a billionaire by working 40 hours a week. I didn’t gain muscle and lose fat while traveling non-stop because I practiced moderation. When I wanted to be more productive, I got a standing desk, started following a strict schedule, used nootropics to enhance my brain, and started ruthlessly cutting back on unproductive activities. When I wanted to get jacked, I started doing pushups 10–15 times a day. Extreme results require extreme efforts. WORKS IN MARRIAGE!

    9. Sometimes you have to outgrow your friends

    Birds of a feather flock together. Unfortunately, when you grow, not all of your friends will be growing with you. Your friends tend to rub off on you; as such, they can pull you up or hold you back. Ask yourself: If I wasn’t already friends with them, would I want to make friends with them? Are they more like the person I want to become, or the person I used to be? ***One of the big things that keeps people out of shape is social pressure from their friends.*** In fact, I consider this the single most under-discussed topic in health and fitness AND MARRIAGE. There are ways to deflect this social pressure, and they work up to a point– but the best solution to any problem is to cut it out at the source, and in this case that means ending toxic relationships.

    10. Most of your friends are more popular than you are- but that’s nothing to worry about

    One of the silliest things people stress out about is the fact that most of their friends seem to be more popular than they are. The truth is, most of your friends probably are more popular than you, due to something called the friendship paradox. Because people with more friends are proportionally more likely to be your friend, you’ll be less popular than most of your friends even if you actually have a lot of friends overall. This is nothing more than a quirky mathematical property of social networks, so stop worrying about it.

    11. Close friends are good, but acquaintances are perfectly fine too

    Having acquaintances you’re not close with isn’t shallow or disingenuous. Pretending they’re close friends is. Friends, best friends and acquaintances all have their place in your life- just appreciate them each for what they are.

    12. Networking can be fun and authentic, if you do it right

    I hated networking for the longest time, because it felt sleazy, desperate and unauthentic. Now I’ve learned how to enjoy it, and have even met friends at networking events. Here’s how I do it: take a genuine interest in people, focus more on helping people than on asking for their help, get to know people in your field before you need something from them, and when you want something from someone, be up front about it. I

    13. Looks matter. A lot.

    Your appearance has a huge effect on the way you’re treated- socially, professionally, and in all areas of life. Maybe this is fair, maybe not, but it’s true- and yes, it’s true for men as well as women. One of the best things you can do for yourself is to decide what impression you want to be giving out, and shape your appearance around that. If you look good, it will have a positive effect on almost every interpersonal interaction that you’re a part of. Being in great shape isn’t that hard– if you’re just a little leaner and more muscular than average, you’ll stand out. Likewise, it’s fairly easy to dress better than most people, and to take better care of your skin, grooming, etc. Especially if you’re a man, because the competition is so weak in that area.

    14. Working hard at something is less important than working consistently at it

    We are what we do consistently, not what we occasionally struggle at. Hard work is important, but you won’t accomplish much by working hard for a while, getting exhausted and giving up. To achieve something great, work at it almost every day. This means you need to pace yourself; work as hard as you’re able to sustain, not so hard you get burnt out. WORKS IN MARRIAGE!

    15. Learn when not to be honest

    Honesty is nice in principle, but not everyone appreciates total, brutal honesty. Before giving people advice or feedback, get a good read on them. If they seem like they can handle the whole truth, give it to them. If not, sugar coat it. As much as you might want to help people by telling them the truth, you need to consider the social consequences if the person you’re talking to gets offended.

    16. People tend to assume others are like themselves

    We tend to assume other people share our preferences, opinions and values (unless we actively dislike them from the start- then we do the opposite). This leads us to be surprised when other people behave differently than we would, and to avoid that, we need to make an effort to really learn about other people. This also means you can tell a lot about someone by what they assume about others. If someone thinks everyone is out to cheat them, they may well be crooked themselves. If someone expects everyone to be nice, they’re probably nice too.

    17. You can’t argue with haters, because they’re not arguing with you

    When your work attracts irrational hate from strangers, it’s tempting to defend yourself. This is pointless, because the hate isn’t even about you- you’re just being used as a stand-in for something or someone else. For instance, as a fitness writer I sometimes get hate mail from people who are mad that I say it’s entirely possible to lose weight. What’s really going on there, is that they are trying to convince themselves that they can’t lose weight no matter what they do, so they can give themselves permission to give up. I’m just a stand-in for the voice in the back of their head telling them they’re wrong, and I can’t win that argument because I’m not really a part of it.

    18. Be a quitter

    If you own a stock, ask yourself if you would buy it. If the answer is no, you should sell it. If you’re in a relationship, ask yourself- if you weren’t dating that person, but knew what you know now, would you choose to start dating them? The same goes for jobs: would you take the job you have now, if you knew what it was like and didn’t have it already? If not, look for a new one. Choosing to stay where you are is as much a choice as choosing to move; you should have no bias either way.

  55. Horatio says

    19. Most dating advice is self-centered and useless

    Most of us want a partner who is good-looking, empathetic, fun, has a great career, sense of humor, has a cool life we can be a part of…and the list goes on. And yet, how much dating advice tells us to just “be confident,” or use some magic pickup line? How come the standard is so high for the people we want to date, and so low for ourselves? The way most people gather information about dating is just as bad. Women look at the fashion models in women’s magazines, and figure that must be what men look for in a woman. (Well, no. Men like heart, in a woman. Toxic cosmetics are a turnoff). Men look at the men in men’s magazines, and figure that’s what women like. Why not look at the women in men’s magazines and the men in women’s magazines? Why not read romance novels to learn about women, or watch action movies to learn about men? (Would you understand deer, you must walk where they walk)

    20. If you want honest feedback, make it painless for the other person to give

    If you ask someone who knows you to give you their honest opinion about you, something you’ve done or an idea you have, they’ll usually choose to be nice rather than honest. It’s easier to give honest feedback if you’re not talking directly to the person you’re talking about. Ask people for anonymous feedback, or tell them you’re asking for a friend.

    21. Statistics lie all the time.

    Most crack smokers smoked marijuana first….but most marijuana smokers never smoke crack. The average American has one breast and one testicle. Statistics can be entirely true, and still lead you to believe something false. 57% of all statistics are bullshit, including this one. That’s why you need to know how to spot bad science and misleading statistics. Which the American media is full of.

    22. Bad salesmanship is infuriating. Good salesmanship is a crucial life skill.

    Pushy, dishonest salesmanship is a pet peeve of mine. Buy my stupid tchotchkes! It’s unique, I’m the only stupid tchotchke seller in town! Buy it now, I’ll give you a good price if you buy now! But good salesmanship isn’t pushy or dishonest- instead, you inform the prospect of all their options, and help them to pick the best option for them, without pushing them to buy at all. A bad salesperson is a predator, but a good salesperson is a trusted advocate for the customer. MARRIAGE IS A DAILY SALES PRESENTATION!

    23. It’s better to be loved by a few than liked by many

    OkCupid once did a study that looked at how attractive people were rated, on a scale from one to five. It found that the more people rate you a 5, the more messages you’ll get- but ratings of 3 and 4 were worse than useless, being negatively correlated with number of messages. If you’re a blogger like me, you may have thousands of readers who like you- but your money comes from the much smaller number of people who love you enough to buy your stuff. There’s not much reward for being mildly liked- it’s better to be loved by some and hated by some than liked by everyone, so swing for the fences.

    24. Judge yourself by your inputs in the short term, and your outputs in the long term

    When people want to lose weight, I tell them to weigh themselves once a month. On a daily basis, they should ignore the scale and judge themselves solely by whether they followed their diet and did their workout. If you want to start a business, you probably won’t have revenue on day one- but you should be working hard on day one. If you’re in college, you only earn credits once a semester- day to day, you focus on your assignments, not your transcript. When working at something long-term, check your outputs occasionally to make sure you’re on track, but focus on your inputs- whether you’re following the plan and doing the work- day in and day out.

    25. Judge people harshly up front, invest more in them later.

    We’re often told that we shouldn’t rush to judgement. This sounds nice, but isn’t practical if you’re meeting a lot of people in your life. When you withhold judgement of everyone you meet, you have to spend more time getting to know all of them. If you evaluate people more harshly up front- in dating, hiring, friendship, or any other realm- you have fewer people to deal with, and can give more attention to those who meet your standards.

    26. When you’re told you have two options- you almost always have more

    My kung-fu teacher once told me that where he grew up, there was a church and a liquor store on every corner. He was told he could either be a church person or a liquor store person. Instead, he became neither- he’s not a criminal or a drunk, and he’s spiritual but not involved in organised religion. He knew there had to be other options. Think you have to work 9–5 or put up with irregular shift work? You can freelance. When you have two options, that often gives you just enough of an illusion of choice to conceal the fact that you actually have more.

    27. Money can buy happiness, if you use it right

    People are always debating whether money can buy happiness, but the research is clear: it can, depending on what you spend it on. Collecting crap you’ll barely use won’t make you happy. Spending your money on experiences will make you happy- as will giving it away to a good cause, or saving it so you become more financially secure. So make the effort to earn more money, but just don’t waste it on dumb shit promoted by the media.

    28. People care about what you can do for them, and that’s okay

    If you want a job, the hiring manager is wondering what you’ll do for the company. She doesn’t care how badly you need a job. If you’re trying to start a friendship with someone, or start dating someone, they’re wondering what you’ll add to their life. You have no right to be mad about this, because you think the same way. To get what you want, make an effort to view things from their perspective.

    29. “I don’t care what people think of me” is bullshit

    Whenever someone says they don’t care what people think of them, it just means they really want to be seen as someone who doesn’t care what people think of them. In truth, you should care what people think of you- but not everyone. Figure out who is a good judge of character, and view their opinion of you as useful feedback- but ignore most everyone else.

    30. You can change your personality

    People’s personalities generally don’t change once they’re grown up- but they can. Personality change requires you to grow and strengthen new neural pathways. This actually works the same way that physical exercise works- you have to stress those neural pathways to the point of fatigue, then rest them, and they grow stronger when they recover. In practice, this means you have to engage in new, desired behaviors, and keep at them past the point where they start to be mentally tiring. If you want to become extroverted, you need to go out and socialize, and keep talking to people for at least a half hour past the point where you really just want to go home. If you want to be more productive, you nee to force yourself to work past the point where you’re dying to take a break. It’s tough, but it gets easier over time.

  56. Horatio says

    31. New years resolutions are for losers

    If you make something a new years resolution, you’re actually less likely to get it done. Consider this: did you really think of that resolution on new years day? Or, did you think of it a month or two earlier…and use new years resolutions as an excuse to put it off? New years resolutions are, almost by definition, things you’ve been putting off. A better time to start your new years resolutions would be November. The best time to start working on a resolution is as soon as you think of it- don’t put it off until some arbitrary date.

    32. You can’t reason people out of something they weren’t reasoned into

    That’s an old Mark Twain quote, but it’s actually backed by science. There are two kinds of beliefs- those that are cognitively based, and those that are emotionally based. Cognitively based beliefs are based on logic, and can only be changed with logic. Emotionally based beliefs can only be changed with emotional arguments. If you want to change someone’s beliefs, you need to first understand what their existing belief is based on.

    33. Being an asshole costs you more than you think

    Being disliked can have a lot of consequences. You won’t get invited to parties. You won’t get referred for job openings. People will be reluctant to introduce you to others, making it hard to network.
    And the thing is, nobody will tell you about it. You won’t know that that party ever happened, or that job was available. The cost of being a jerk is largely invisible to you, and measured in missed opportunities.

    34. Not everything is someone’s fault

    When something goes wrong, people’s first impulse is often to try to figure out whose fault it is. And once they find someone to point a finger at, often they’ll stop there, as if that alone solves the problem. Not only does that not solve anything, but many problems have no human culprit. The growing gap between rich and poor might be because the rich are doing something to make it happen- or it might be impersonal market conditions. Women might outlive men due to public health policies- or it might just be biology, or just how men are treated, because in the 1920’s, women only outlived men by a year. When searching for the cause of a problem, don’t assume it must be someone’s fault.

    35. Not wanting to change isn’t self-love

    There’s a growing trend on the internet of people writing essays that basically say “I suck at something, but that’s okay and I love myself.” The authors will talk about how they struggled with their weight, lack of social skills, or go-nowhere career, but then stopped trying to change and started loving themselves.
    That isn’t self-love; that’s laziness and resignation. If you love your kids, you’ll want them to have friends, to get good grades, to be healthy, to have a good life. If you love yourself, you’ll want to have the best life you can possibly have- and that means making the effort to build that better life for yourself.

    36. Fight Club was wrong- you are your job

    Aristotle had it right- we are what we do repeatedly. Anything you spend 40 hours a week doing is a big part of who you are, and there’s no getting around that. If you feel the urge to disassociate yourself from your job, it’s time to find a job you care about.

    37. “Follow your passion” is vapid and self-centered career advice

    Just because you enjoy doing something, doesn’t mean you’re good at it, or that people will be willing and able to pay you for it. The universe isn’t obligated to give you money for doing what you love. Instead, figure out what you’re good at that people will pay you for, and pick something that you either enjoy doing, or can see yourself growing to enjoy (you can build your passion over time). If you want to get paid for something, you have to think of the customer first. Love serving your customers, if you want success.

    38. Be an independent thinker, but remember that the majority is usually right

    Over the past ten years I’ve seeing a growing number of people falling prey to blanket syndrome. They find out that one or two of society’s deeply held beliefs is wrong- for instance, that buying a home isn’t usually a good investment, or that a college degree doesn’t guarantee a good career. Then they decide that society is wrong about everything- college is a waste of time and money, 9–5 jobs are as good as slavery, dating and marriage are a huge scam, the stock market is rigged, voting is pointless, and everyone is wrong about everything. It’s good to be a skeptic. It’s good to question conventional thinking. It’s not good to always think the opposite of what most people think. Not only is that just as mindless as always siding with the majority, but you’ll be wrong more often, because the majority opinion is correct more often than not. Stock market analysts who know their business do not fight the market.

    39. Do whatever you want, unless there’s a good reason not to

    Most of us go through life doing what we’re supposed to do, instead of what we want, subjugating our own dreams and desires to our perceived social obligations. When you have to make a decision, don’t start by asking yourself what you’re supposed to do. Instead, first ask yourself what you want to do. Then, ask yourself if there’s any compelling reason why you shouldn’t do that. If there aren’t, go ahead and do what you want.

    40. Invest in yourself sooner rather than later

    I’ve invested a lot of money in myself over the years- by buying courses, or by hiring coaches, and in areas as diverse as business, social skills, fitness, kung-fu and singing. Every time I’ve invested in myself, I had been thinking about it for a long time before I finally decided to spend the money. And every time, once I invested in myself, I ended up kicking myself for not doing it sooner. It took me three years to build my fitness business to the point where it makes me a good living. It takes 2–5 years to go from obese to shredded, and that’s if you’re doing everything right. Being great at something important takes a long time, so you need to start early and give yourself every advantage you can early on.

    Whatever goals you have, your success in reaching them will be proportional to your willingness to invest time and money in them. Join a gym. Start seeing a nutritionist. Take a coding bootcamp. Get a mentor. Hire a habit coach. Join a mastermind group. WORKS FOR MARRIAGE!

    Much as with financial investing, the most important key to investing in your own skills is to start early. Getting good instruction in the beginning changes your entire learning trajectory. Don’t make the mistake I did- invest in yourself early and often. If I had known then what I know now, I could have sped up my personal development by at lest a decade. I can’t time travel- but I can share what I’ve learned with you, just as others have shared their own knowledge and experience with me.

    Also, if anyone actually does know how to time travel- please email me.

    Suzanne ,what about a thread of people who have been married for a while, sharing their lessons learned?

  57. Donna says

    Negative love script for women: feminism
    Negative love script for men: attraction to feminists, alcoholics, addicts, and narcissists

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