Is she marriage material?

We hear plenty in America about whether or not a man is “marriage material.” But no one ever asks what makes a woman marriage material.

Seems to me that’s the more pertinent question since women are the ones who bow out of  marriage the most.

Indeed, the overwhelming majority of divorce is filed by wives who use the all-encompassing umbrella of “irreconcilable differences” to get out of an abuse-free marriage.

If you’re a man who wants to avoid this fate, the best way to do so is to pay close attention to what a woman says and does when you’re dating her.

For instance, does she talk about never having or wanting to depend on you financially? That’s a sign she doesn’t trust men, or she doesn’t trust you. Both are bad.

Does she talk excessively about her career and sideline the discussion of family? That will tell you her priorities.

Does she espouse sexual equality? That will let you know she has fallen for feminist propaganda, which will not bode well for your marriage. Sexual differences, not sexual sameness, is what makes marriage work.

Does she talk warmly about children or does it sound like she’s trying to fit them in to her otherwise more important life? This will tell you whether or not she’s maternal.

Lastly, be wary of the woman whose relationship with her father has been impaired in some way. If she does not talk well of him, this is where her inability to trust men emanates and it will show up in your marriage in a thousand ways. (I’m not suggesting you not marry her over this, only that she recognizes it as a problem and is open to dealing with it).

Your chances of having a happy marriage are just higher when you marry a woman who comes from an intact family and/or who has a strong relationship with her father, who laughs at the idea that men and women are the same, and who puts family first.

Such women do exist, though they’re unquestionably fewer in number so you may be waiting awhile. That will be hard.

But to be fair, marriage-minded women are in the same boat. Just as you’re having trouble finding marriageable women, they’re having trouble finding marriageable men. If only there was a way to get these two groups together!

In the meantime, my best advice is this: Don’t get so wrapped up in the sex or in her that you can’t see the forest for the trees. Pay close attention to the things she says and does, and take them seriously. She’s letting you know who she is.

A woman who’s marriage material is soft, kind, receptive, sexually serious (meaning she doesn’t treat sex casually), and focused on having a family.

If a woman is not these things, she’s not ready.

Move on.