The Elusive American Husband

This article was originally published at Washington Examiner.

Millions of single women in America today cannot for the life of them find a “suitable” husband.

That’s according to a new study from researchers at Cornell University, who examined data on actual recent marriages and found women’s ideal husband has an average income about 58% higher than the actual unmarried men currently available to single women. These optimal husbands were also 30% more likely to be employed than real single men and 19% more likely to have a college degree.

In other words, American men are no longer educated enough or rich enough to be suitable for marriage.

This is exactly what we should have expected to happen. For the past forty years, women have been demanding their relationships with men be free of traditional sex roles. Women said they can do everything themselves and “don’t need a man.” They wanted to lead and to be their own heroes. In exchange, they wanted men to be more like women: soft and nurturing and flexible.

Men listened and responded accordingly. They took a step back to accommodate women’s demands and as a result are no longer providers and protectors. They did exactly what women asked of them.

If traditional sex roles were truly passé, as the culture has insisted for years, women would have no problem finding a husband. If it didn’t matter which sex is richer or more educated, women would be perfectly happy in the provider role and would marry any one of the countless men of lesser status who are clearly and readily available.

But they aren’t doing that. And many of the women who are doing it are miserable.

Every week I hear from breadwinning wives and mothers who are exhausted, stressed out and resentful about having to earn an income while at the same time be a mother. I also hear from strong, successful single women who for the life of them can’t find a husband.

It would appear we changed the rules, and the new rules don’t work.

That’s because we ignored the reality of male and female nature. Men are literally made to provide, and women are made to nurture. Both are in our DNA and become glaringly obvious once it’s time to settle down with a family. Trying to yank these characteristics out of us is an exercise in futility.

To wit, according to a 2018 Global Family and Gender Survey, three-in-ten married mothers prefer full-time work. Three-in-ten. Most women, in other words, don’t want to be their family’s provider. Indeed, between 1970 and today—despite how the media make it appear—wives’ earnings have only increased by roughly ten percent.

Which means, I’m afraid, that American women are overeducating and overworking themselves prior to marriage for a life the majority of them don’t ultimately want.

So what’s the answer?

Stop encouraging women to value education and career above all else, as though their identity can be found in the marketplace. A man’s identity is, typically, wrapped up in his job—for good reason. That is his main contribution to family life. Not the only one, but to him it’s the most important.

A woman’s identity is, typically, wrapped up in her relationships at home. That is what pulls at her. It is what matters most and why she ultimately does want and need to depend on a man. Why, then, do we not prepare women for this inevitability?

In other words, Ladies, aim lower. Start mapping out a life that takes your unique biology into account. Stop mapping out your lives the way men map out theirs, and stop letting men know you don’t need their money.

Clearly, you do.

Suzanne Venker

Suzanne Venker is an author, columnist and radio host known as The Feminist Fixer. She helps free women from feminism so they can find lasting love with men. Suzanne's newest book, WOMEN WHO WIN at Love: How to Build a Relationship That Lasts, will be published October 2019.

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Comments

  1. Bobby Jo says

    I wouldn’t say aim lower. Aim at what is realistic. You can go hunting for unicorns any time you like. You are unlikely to find one, but you can go hunting. You can go hunting for dragons, too. Think of, say, 2000 years ago, someone in China, or Europe, finding dinosaur skeletons. They have no idea of history as we know it. Obviously, these were dragons, to those people.

    You mentioned strong, successful single women who for the life of them can’t find a husband. It’s not that they can’t find one. It’s that they drive potential husbands away. My own sister is a “strong, successful woman”, and she has driven two husbands away, and boyfriends, too. She is lonely now.

    If you plan to go hunting, you need to know what game is available. If you want deer, you go to where deer hang out. If you want antelope, you go to where antelope hang out. If you want elk, you don’t go to West Texas plains. Very few elk can be found there. It is not lowering your standards, to adjust to local game, it is being realistic. Or, if you like another analogy- think of yourself as a flower, welcoming bees, that spread pollen, which is plant sperm. What could you do to attract bees? Does making yourself look old, horrid, dried up, work? No- bees want return on investment, just as men do.

    I listen, when I’m out and about. I love hearing women in their 40s and 50s about their “soulmate”, who is just around the corner, who will overlook the extra 80 lbs of fat they have on, the crummy diet that makes them very bitchy, the spendthrift habits, the toxic cosmetics, the self-centered attitudes, and so on. I laugh as hard as I can- inside. A man who had all they have wouldn’t be able to find much in the way of a woman, but no, these women all have the magic feet, and the prince is just around the corner, trying the glass slipper on other women, and it doesn’t fit.

    There is a season for all things. The time for new love is Spring. The Roman goddess of Spring was Maia- May. Think of women’s names- April, May, June, Julia- these are identified with the fertility of the related months. The ideal time for conception was Midsummer’s day- St. John’s day. It was also a Celtic festival. This is 9 months prior to next spring- when food is available, and will be available for some months, to get the baby off to a good start, after the starving time of February, when food stocks traditionally ran out, and the new growth hadn’t come in yet.

  2. Sarvodaya says

    You say women’s ideal husband has an average income about 58% higher than the actual unmarried men currently available to single women. >>in other words, the ideal doesn’t exist. And the income levels they seek aren’t just 58% higher. Most American woman want a man at the top of the ladder. They aren’t looking for a nice guy, either. They are looking for a rich guy, who will encourage them to waste that money, shopping, vacations, and so on.

    These optimal husbands were also 30% more likely to be employed than real single men and 19% more likely to have a college degree.>>Maybe in the survey. In the real world, women have a picture in their minds, of a royal prince, with a yacht, house in the mountains, lots of leisure time to spend on them, expensive cars, and so on.

    In other words, American men are no longer educated enough or rich enough to be suitable for marriage>> to the average American woman, who has raised her standards far over what her mother had.

    Hey. Great. Delusion is its own punishment. It also blinds these women to acceptable men, as their bargaining position erodes. And by the time they realize they have to “settle”, they really have to settle, in a big way.

    And those men they passed up, well, they save their money, they pay down the mortgage, maybe they are satisfied with booty calls, and their desire to get married starts dropping like a lead bowling ball, after they are about 35 or so.

    Life isn’t cruel. It is simply flows, and waves, and tides, and eddies. Move with the flow, and you do well. Move against the flow, and you pay the price.

    My mother’s generation had home economics courses, that were real, with practical knowledge about how to run a household, well. They were taught to cook, because home cooked food is cheaper, and more nutritious. They were taught to sew, because clothes were expensive, then. They were taught a lot of practical skills. And so were the lads. In my grandfather’s day, an 18 year old woman could get married- and she had the skills, and the family help, to make everything work. They were far more practical than what we have today.

    I know a guy, who lives with a woman. he won’t marry her, though. She has no idea how to cook. So he does it. She doesn’t like to clean. So he cleans the house- to his standards, which are bit lower. She doesn’t like doing much of anything in the house. She really doesn’t like working, either. The only high point of her life is spending money. She’d kinda sorta like a child, but she has no energy, experience, or anything else, necessary to care for a child. So she lives with a guy, who’d kind of like her out of his life, but won’t take the action he needs to. Happy life? No.

    American women are taught to be second-class men- they more privileges than men do, and avoid the pain men get. Good deal.
    And I see more and more American men who regard marriage as if it were a vacation trip to Alaska- it may happen one day, though it probably won’t.

  3. Wayne says

    One major reason that women have such extremely unrealistic expectations about marriage, is the extremely unrealistic info they get from women’s magazines. Here’s a good example:

    The Top 10 Qualities Women Seek in a Man

    #1. He’s emotionally stable.

    The guy she’s looking for doesn’t have drastic mood swings. He doesn’t unpredictably blow hot and cold. He is steady and shows up in goods times and in a crisis. He has her back, and she feels safe with him.))) Uh, no. She wants a slightly dangerous bad boy, who does have mood swings, because that gives her an emotional rush. He doesn’t show up in crises, he shows up when he feels like it. He doesn’t have her back. Doubt me? Look at the bad boys American women are with, in their 20’s. This might be useful for a woman in her 40’s, who’s been burned a few times- the sort who write articles like this- but qualities described here do not get nookie, for a man. They just don’t. Emotionally stable is BORING, to women in their 20’s.

    #2. He can communicate honestly and openly.

    He tells the truth about who he is and what he wants in a relationship. He’s willing to talk things out, especially when there’s a disagreement.)))No. He tells her stuff that gets her emotions going. Young women in the USA prefer liars, who feel dangerous. Look at what young women sleep with. It is not the honest, open guys, not at all.

    He can admit when he’s wrong, and let a woman know that he’s hurt without shaming or blaming.)))For a 45 year old woman, yes. But not young women. They’ll sleep with a Hell’s Angel, who is abusive by anybody’s standards.

    He doesn’t get defensive, criticize, or walk away when times are tough. He is willing to talk, even when the stakes are high, because he values the relationship.)))uh, no. He lays down the rules, and she follows them, because he makes her tingle. Again, see what young women sleep with. It isn’t guys who “value the relationship”. It is bad boys.

    #3. He’s fiscally responsible.

    She wants to be with someone who can manage his finances. Contrary to popular belief, a mature woman is not looking for a sugar daddy. ))))Mature women may not be, but young women are. And Mature women sure wouldn’t turn down a sugar daddy.

    He doesn’t have to be wealthy, but he does have to manage his money. That means he has financially planned for his present and his future. He doesn’t have big debt that he’s not paying down. He doesn’t spend beyond his means.))))Except, of course, spending a lot on her, and paying down her credit cards. Women actually believe propaganda like this.

    She also wants to be with a man who is generous with how he spends his money(add- “on her”). He gives (a little bit) to charities. And he doesn’t cheap out on gifts, especially for the woman he loves.)))Uhh, what was that part on not liking sugar daddies? We know a woman wrote this, already an internal contradiction.

    #4. He’s a good listener.

    She wants a man who is present when he’s with her. He’s not checking his phone or watching football. When they’re together, he focuses on her. He listens, and he doesn’t offer to help or fix unless she asks.)))Yeah, I saw men who were good listeners in college, who were present, and all this. And every one of those men suffered from lackanookie. Bad boys who treat her roughly, who don’t listen, and don’t offer to help or fix- that is the kind of guy who SCORES with younger women.

    #5. He’s respectful.

    How do I define respect? If she’s on a gluten-free diet, he calls the restaurant ahead of time to make sure she can eat there. ))))I’m on the floor laughing. Bad boys don’t do that. But young women, even middle aged women, love the bad boys, and sleep with them, even when they are married to a nice guy.

    He doesn’t make fun of her weight, height, wrinkles, the color of her hair, or the way she talks. He respects her opinion, even when he disagrees.)))))What idiot wrote this stuff? Huh? A guy who does all this might as well be a monk, cuz he’ll sure be celibate. Women in their 30’s might, might like this. Women in their 40’s appreciate this kind of stuff, but, well, they tend to be past their prime.

    #6. He’s affectionate.

    Women want a relationship where the attraction is strong. That doesn’t mean the chemistry is a 10 on the first date. They are more interested in being with a guy with whom the connection is so strong, it grows and grows. He loves to touch and be touched, and he’s a great kisser.))))Uh, no. Young women like a bad boy who is almost abusive, who pulls their hair, and is almost incoherent with lust. And that is what they sleep with. Connection so strong… it grows and grows… well, grows and grows is good, but this doesn’t refer to connection.

    #7. He’s kind and considerate.

    He is kind to her, and he is also kind to people in all walks of life; the wait staff, the garage attendant, the store clerk. How he treats people of service says so much about his integrity.))))I almost fell over laughing. Bad boys aren’t kind and considerate. No, she sees guys who are kind and considerate as weaklings. She may be polite to them, telling them she “has a boyfriend”, but she doesn’t sleep with them. This list of characteristics might make a Mormon man attractive to a Mormon woman, but this is like the most amusing of fiction, totally off the mark, so wrong it’s funny, for American women.

    How he treats people of service says so much about his integrity.)))And how little nookie he’s going to get. Polite guys go nowhere, with young American women. Sorry.

    He shows her that he cares with small acts of kindness, like doing the dishes after dinner, taking out the garbage, or changing the oil in her car. It’s the little things in a relationship that add up to big love.))))This BS has marshmallows on it. Ha ha ha. Doing the dishes after dinner KILLS his chances of getting any. American women have NO respect for a guy who does dishes. In fact, that’s a shittest, to see if he’s a wuss, or not. If he refuses, he’s good to go, and if he does the dishes, his SMV goes down 3 points on a 10 point scale. Changing oil, maybe. Maybe.

    #8. He’s fun to be with.

    She’s attracted to a man with joie de vivre, a zest for life. He’s fun to be with, whether they’re out together or just hanging out at home. They enjoy each others company, and they laugh easily together.))))Yes, as he races down the LA freeway, on his Harley, with her on the back, to an unknown destination, that has a spice of danger. Bad boys are fun to be with.

    #9. He’s a lifelong learner.

    He’s open to and seeks continued growth. He’s curious, always reading, learning, and/or taking classes online or offline. He’s interested in many things, and that makes him more interesting.
    ))))I almost fell off my chair laughing. What fool wrote this? Lifelong learners get NOWHERE with American women. Bad boys have more sex in a week than a nerd gets in a year. This stuff is wishful thinking- I wonder if it was written for nerds, to give them hope.

    #10. He’s confident and humble.

    Confidence is usually the number one quality people are seeking in a partner. Someone who’s confident is sexy. But what is confidence? It’s about knowing your values and standards for how you want to be treated. It’s about liking yourself and who you’ve become at this stage in your life. And it’s about walking ))))Yeah, like a bad boy. Confident enough to walk his fingers up her arm, and tell her to take off her blouse. Confident enough to look her in the eye, in that certain way, that makes her want to tear her clothes off, now.

    I was given advice like this, when I was a young man. It was all BS. none of it worked. What women like is a dangerous man, who doesn’t say much, who is mysterious, who may treat her a bit roughly, who will pull her hair. No, women don’t like rape, but they do like a very confident man, who has his way with her.

    And the women who most hate the nice guys are… drumbeat… are you ready? …. yes… FEMINISTS! They despise the nice guys, they walk all over them, they fishbicycle them, they dis them, they trash them to their faces.

  4. Liu says

    Elusive American Husband? You mean husbands are living in stealth? Is that what you wanted to say? With women as they are, often, that might be a very good idea.

    Or is this elusive, marriage-eligible American Men?
    Since Feminism has declared open season on men, well, is it any surprise they are elusive?

  5. Sebastian says

    My wife is from Spain. Her younger sister brought home a guy, she was seeing. And he got the traditional treatment- three hours of questions, almost enhanced interrogation, about his intentions, education, his life story, his family, and so on. And Mom was almost as intrusive as Dad. You see, in traditional Spain, families- which are real entities- don’t want to see their daughters off with some cad. And they have real influence. Though the Socialist government is taking American models, of divorce laws, and so on. Spanish men above 40 just do not get married. They’ll keep a girlfriend, but will not get married. There is simply no advantage to being married, under the american model laws. Traditionally, Spanish women liked to be with a boyfriend for say 9-10 years, without sex that could lead to babies, because they really wanted to know him, before committing. Because, traditionally, a single woman with kids had to fall back on family, as there were no social supports. In the traditional Spanish system, an unmarried woman who gets pregnant was in a dilemma. The man didn’t have to recognize paternity. To recognize paternity, he had to go to the Civil Registry, and claim paternity. If he didn’t, then the child took only the mother’s patronymic, and the guy could not be sued for child support, and he had no parental rights or obligations. So, Spanish women were very careful, and births out of wedlock were few. Most criminals are products of broken families, so this meant Spanish society was rather more stable. Now that Spain has feministas, and feminist type laws, one sees feral teenagers on the street, more and more. My wife saw some of those feral teenager screaming at an old woman, “Why don’t you just shrivel up and die?”, and stuff like that. She never saw that when she was young. But, you know, Americans know all there is to know, and other countries copy from our stupidity.

    • Scott Tips says

      Excellent observations here. You point out so well what is wrong with the American system of child support and its paternity laws. These must be changed to the traditional Spanish system, which makes fr more sense.

  6. Ewilda says

    “Men listened and responded accordingly. They took a step back to accommodate women’s demands and as a result are no longer providers and protectors. They did exactly what women asked of them.”

    Used to be, if a man saw a woman being attacked, he would step in to protect the woman. Nowadays, read the news- more and more men aren’t willing to take that risk. The woman won’t be grateful, the cops might think he was part of some gang, the risks are much more than they used to be. And it’s a lot of work to be a provider. If women don’t want providers, hey, no problem! There are toys to play with! Harleys, dirt bikes, boats, tools, oh yeah! Hallelujah, Lord, I don’t have to be a provider! I’m Free! FREE! FREE AT LAST! Thank you Jesus! And, women, you can take care of your own security! And you know, since you’re doing that, one of the best ways to do that, is with a .38 police special. It’s a round a woman can handle, in a package that will scare any criminal. More and more women who take care of their security are understanding that the Second Amendment frees them! Yes, the biggest single reason women could go out in public, after the Civil War, was the small revolvers, that sort of equalized them, with men. Do you remember that scene in North and South, where the sister, who was sleeping with the Congressman, gets really angry with him, and blasts him with a pepperbox revolver? I can’t understand why feminists aren’t promoting arms. Nothing says equality better than a loaded weapon. Because armed societies are polite societies.

  7. RonF says

    I hear from 25- and 35-year old women who say “I’m perfectly happy not having children.”

    I never hear that from a 55- or 60- year old woman….

  8. John Case says

    I would have to think that part of the “problem” is that so many women have also stopped demanding a commitment from a man before having sex. An awful lot of men are not going to settle down with one woman without some, um, encouragement. Men have realized that not only do we no longer have to marry a woman to have lots of sex, we don’t even really have to have a great job or make a lot of money or be in great health. Throughout history the ability of a man to secure a mate has been largely tied to his fitness as a provider. Women have told us that’s no longer the case, so men have stopped trying. And who can blame us?

  9. Johann Amadeus Metesky says

    The New York Post’s article on this study used the term “economically unattractive men”. Imagine the hysterical shrieking if the term “physically unattractive women” was used. The average American woman is now a size 14/16. If American women are having trouble finding men who will marry them, maybe they should lose a little weight.

  10. Renee says

    “If traditional sex roles were truly passé, as the culture has insisted for years, women would have no problem finding a husband. If it didn’t matter which sex is richer or more educated, women would be perfectly happy in the provider role and would marry any one of the countless men of lesser status who are clearly and readily available.”

    I do sometimes see women with good salaries, with a live-in boyfriend. Often he works only fitfully, if at all. And often he’s gotta have his weed. I find strong, independent women sometimes have these guys. I laugh hard enough to be in pain, when I see this. Those SIW’s deserve a vampire, and they created one. They do little around the house. Those SIW deserve to have parasites. And they create them, for themselves. Hey, potsmokers and slackers need love too.

  11. Howdog says

    I was married for 22 years, and I bought into all of the gentlemanly bullshit. I am a real man, I can well, build and fix any goddamn thing, and you know what it got me fucking divorce. Marriage bullshit, women are a fucking waste of time. They’re fun to fuck, and I genuinely enjoy my time with them. Marriage is as dead as George Washington. Have a nice day.

  12. Harry_the_Horrible says

    Y’know, for twenty plus years I tried find a girlfriend, lover, fiance, and finally wife.
    I was steadily employed with good wages.
    I believed in chivalry and gentlemanly behavior as I was taught by my father.
    But I am a geek – books, odd interests, computers, rpgs, weird friends, theme parks, etc. I am not particularly “dominant” either.
    I had absolutely no luck. It seemed that girls preferred “bad boys” (assholes).
    I eventually did get married, but that was after I was 40 years old.
    I am totally unsympathetic. Whatever problems women have with finding mates are entirely of their own making. Their selection process and judgment are apparently piss poor.
    Maybe we should go back to arranged marriages?

  13. Anon says

    I’m a 50 yo male. I make 6 figures and am worth 7. I meet lots of women who want a wedding and a baby. I have yet to meet one that actually wants to be a wife and mother…
    Whenever I meet a self described feminist, I always ask if they support equal rights…
    They always say yes. I always respond: “That’s very progressive of you. Not many women support a man’s right to end an unwanted pregnancy. ”

    What ‘feminists’ actually support is female privilege. And men are wise to it.

    The above is a fantastic way to eliminate from consideration women who will never be a decent wife.

  14. MalcolmN says

    The reality is the deliberate choice to harm boys education is likely far more important than the choice of girls to get educated. It is that this choice has become increasingly clear, and the reality that so few female teachers now even know how to teach boys, and because lies about the nature of pedophilia. The notion of the pedophile male – was used to create a hysteria around every man who worked with children, and we combined this with reality that we refused to see female predators. This drove men from teaching, while at the same time – gender studies false reports were used to justify changing the way boys were taught. These both were choices, that were deeply harmful to boys education, and ones which either in effect received tacit support from most women in the US, or were ignored allowing the harm to be done, while they looked the other way.

    The issue is now, that for at least a generation ~25+ years, substantial harm has been done to his education, by choice. What will be nearly as harmful, is that increasingly this is understood by men. What is even more harmful, is that he saw that most women were screaming down anyone who raised the issue of boys education even a handful of years ago.

    It is also that when young men come to understand this, along with a host of other issues around coupling, like the reality that he is disposable in marriage, that his reproductive choices are unlikely to be respected (happy accidents – ie lies around birth control, are only actionable when they are his lies, not hers) that she is allowed to be abusive towards him, including socially isolating him. The simple reality that we refuse to look at the other side of abusive behavior, is not missed by young men, even when sometimes it is consciously. They have seen men have their friends replaced by her friends husbands, they have seen women speak in ways that nobody would hesitate to call abusive, gender reversed and receive support not judgement from her friends, they have heard mom bad mouth dad. He has seen mom watching daytime tv – when he was a child, and what she laughed at etc.

    It is not just that women are now more educated, the refusal to speak out about the abusive behavior of women, and more importantly attack the men who tried, is painting a very negative picture women and marriage. The reality of this combined with the reality of who it was that pushed things like Ritalin, who chose to not have books that were interesting for boys, who removed his role models etc- all combine to make marriage a much less interesting thing for him. If you are not planning a family, career is suddenly much less important. The reality of best use of your time and energy shifts dramatically.

    One of the reasons it is so much harder to find a “marriageable man” is a combination of impacts of hate aimed at men, even more than they “listened to what women wanted”. Women let hateful feminists speak for them. They looked the other way, while this took over in the realms where women traditionally dominated, they ignored the reality of the harmed done to and the messages sent their sons. Sorry, but to be that marriageable man, he needs to have been given a real chance to learn to read k-3, which means books he likes, not those aimed at girls, or that tell him he is bad for being a boys. Sorry, but to be that marriageable man, he has to believe that marriage is a prospect not a penalty.

  15. Jordan says

    How long has it been open season on husbands? Fifty years? Gosh, maybe, just maybe, open season convinced them to learn how to evade the hunters? It didn’t take much to wipe out wolves, in Yellowstone, and now they are reintroducing them. Turns out wolves are a very useful part of the ecosystem. Kind of like husbands.

    Women do not understand that actions breed actions. Every man destroyed in divorce court is, now, unavailable to other women, except maybe as a sideshow boyfriend. Men paying child support now mostly know, that if they marry again, their child support goes up based on the new wife’s income, and even if he divorces, it stays at that higher level. Isn’t that cute. Which leads to the hopefully unintended consequence that men paying child support won’t get married.

    I’ve seen surveys that show that women get more and more interested in being married, after about the age of 30. And men get less and less interested in marriage, after about the age of 35. I wonder if this is an isomorphic thing; each figures out the relative advantages of marriage, and changes their behavior accordingly.

    Getting married- for a man- feels incredibly risky, even before we factor in the target the feminists put on his back, for being male, the gross disparity in custody awards, alimony, and child support, and so on. The level of risk- for a man- has skyrocketed. Around 70-90% of divorces are initiated by women, depending on how you measure.

    I have explained these risks to young men. At first they scoff. As I continue, they stop scoffing, get very serious, and start listening, closely. I can see the desire to be really careful about birth control, crystallizing on their faces. My bus driver, yesterday, told me that he had forgiven his wife twice, for adultery, and she finally left him. He said she just couldn’t be faithful to him. Well, why did she say the vows, then? So his kids are with mom, several states away. The daughter is on drugs. He can’t do anything about it. Do you think this might have some effect, on his willingness to enter future relationships? Just maybe? Go into the bad areas of the nearest big city. Compare them to what they were like, say, in 1940. They have gotten much worse. And the major single factor in that, is the explosive increase in single parent families. Oh, there are a few family reunification programs, here and there, miserly funded, and they have some effect. How amusing that the cheap solution of family reunification- which costs less than any other solution so far tried- is being so starved of funds. Much less, like, family preservation in the first place. Kids who are products of single parent families, on average, do far worse than kids who come from intact families. Or, as one social worker told me, average parents raise much better kids than the best of institutions. AND, the cost of average parents doing that, is much smaller to society.

    I remember a guy at work, whose wife divorced him. Yeah, he had to pay some support. He was 55. He had the time of his life, he had so many women looking, he could high grade beyond his wildest high school dreams. He could have multiple women, even. His ex told him that divorcing him was the worst decision of her life. He looked at her, and said, “yes it was”. He looked as happy as a bull in a pasture filled with cows, and for the same reason.

    • MalcolmN says

      It is that the man who divorces is not available – it is his sons, nephews and sons friends also question. It is that increasingly – young men are coming to understand that marriage is about her. They are increasingly coming to believe that “happy wife, happy life” is what women expect – and it is not only an impossibility – it is a choice to condemn yourself to misery.

      You can get lucky and find a good woman (I have) but it looks increasingly like Russian roulette to the young men who are looking on and well, I think you are now wrong when it comes to marriage- in that young men are becoming less willing earlier – say 25.

      It is that young men are becoming increasingly aware that the real need is to avoid the risk in the first place.

  16. Norm says

    Every guy I ever knew who put his wife/girlfriend through college for a degree higher than theirs got dumped by them and lost everything.

    Every guy I ever knew who supported their wife/girlfriend in getting a higher paying job than theirs got dumped by them and lost everything.

    Every guy I ever knew who retired and thought that they could finally relax off of their hard earned work, but whose wife/girlfriend still worked and earned more, got dumped by them and lost everything.

    I saw this over and over again, and when I thought I’d be the exception, it happened to me too, which has taught me that women are wired to be gold diggers, every single time without exception, and, as a guy, if you think it won’t happen to you, it’s simply because she hasn’t dumped you yet.

    • Carl says

      Art is Truth
      Theater is life
      Television is furniture. Television is garbage.
      Would you fill your house with garbage? No? Yet that is what you do when you watch TV.

    • Steven says

      I see more and more divorced and single men retiring, who don’t want to ever risk getting married again. And why should they? There are far more women than men in their group of people, and hey, why buy the cow, when the cows are lining up to pass it out for free? In some cases, even paying you to take it? Yes. I’ve seen that. Some women actually pay for the date, just to have a guy.

    • Chris says

      This used to happen to women all the time. They’d work to put him through law or medical school then he’d trade her in for a “better” model after graduating. Back in the days when women didn’t go to college and family court wasn’t so “friendly” toward women.

  17. Jeff says

    While I think the article is pretty much spot-on, there is an important point left out – how sons have been raised, and their jobs prospects now.
    In the past couple of decades there has an emphasis on raising strong daughters, capable going forth and doing whatever they feel needs to get done. I’m on board with this (have a daughter myself). Unfortunately, at the same time, society has ignored our sons, or if not ignored them, told them that the positive male characteristics are no longer needed, or are down right old fashioned. They can also look around them and see that many marriages fail within 5 years, and if there is a divorce, the wife gets most of what they both worked for. When I used to watch sitcoms on TV, it seemed that the husband and father was always the butt of the joke. He was held in contempt by his wife and children. I don’t know if sitcoms have changed in past few years; I no longer watch them.
    Job prospects – If he’s gone to college he’s probably deeply in debt and may have studied a major which seemed interesting but does not provide any real good paying job prospects.
    So, what is the message he’s been getting?
    1. He isn’t needed.
    2. He isn’t respected
    3. He isn’t attractive unless he’s earning a high paying salary or have a high status job.
    4. If he does get married, there is a high probability of losing it all.
    OTOH, he’s learned to live cheaply during college, out of necessity, and found that part time gigs are
    enough to feed him and pay his bills.
    What path do you think a rational guy would take?

    • Carl says

      Art is Truth
      Theater is life
      Television is furniture. Television is garbage.
      Would you fill your house with garbage? No? Yet that is what you do when you watch TV.

  18. John says

    There are reasons husbands are elusive.

    We live in a “me-centered” society. When pleasing self is the highest priority, that doesn’t leave a lot of room for the kind of self-sacrificial love that marriage requires. Many stay with “partners” only as long as they make us happy. Any challenges make the relationship disposable.

    We have rejected the values of previous generations, and today most people generally do whatever they feel like doing. How much can you really trust in, or rely on, sunshine friends? Looking for someone “who shares your values”, or indeed, has any realistic values, to marry, ain’t easy. According to the Pew Research Center, more than half of all Americans who belong to the “Silent Generation” attend religious services weekly, but less than 30 percent of all millennials do. With each passing generation, we are becoming less Christian, less “conservative,” and less moral.

    Many will not date someone unless that individual has “good prospects” for the future. One survey found that 75 percent of American women would not date an unemployed man. Of course it is entirely reasonable to want a spouse who will work hard, but many young people are taking their obsession with materialism to ridiculous extremes.

    In China, and other countries, parents often provide their male children with a home or car to make them appear more attractive. Women are often encouraged to “marry up” and not to settle for anyone who can’t provide material benefits. A woman from the southwestern city of Chengdu rejected her boyfriend’s flash mob proposal last December, when she saw the ring and thought the diamond was too small. She later told a friend that the man had agreed to “buy me a diamond ring as large as one carat,” Soho News reported. It was reminiscent of a famous line from a 2010 Chinese dating show, when a contestant said, “I would rather cry in the back of a BMW than smile on the back of a bicycle.”

    Have you noticed that a lot of young men in their 20s and 30s would rather spend all day watching television and playing video games than doing something constructive? Record numbers of them have moved back home with no apparent intention of moving out. Today, 32 percent of all American Millennials are living at home with Mommy and Daddy. In some cases, this is being done out of necessity because there aren’t enough good jobs, but in other cases, it is simply pure laziness.

    So what are quality young women supposed to do? OK, there aren’t a lot of them, but they do exist.
    Are they supposed to actually consider these unambitious young men who seem perfectly content to indefinitely camp out in the basements of the homes they were raised in?

    If you are looking for someone who doesn’t have numerous STD’s, good luck with that. Everywhere you look in our sexually hypercharged society, sexual behavior exceeds even what animals do. This is happening in the wealthiest areas of our nation. The following is an excerpt from a recent Vanity Fair article about what is going on in the Hamptons. Cops put the kibosh on a burlesque party at East Hampton’s Maidstone hotel. A professional orgy-planning outfit is hosting its first bacchanal later in June. Wednesday Martin, the author of Primates of Park Avenue, warns that married, heterosexual women in the Hamptons are conducting steamy affairs with their female fitness instructors. “Female flexuality,” she calls it. A … rabbi, who blazed through five ex-wives, finally got the ax after running around town with a former flight attendant who was decades his junior. And a Southampton schools superintendent was investigated after one of his X-rated selfies made the rounds on campus.

    The CDC says that there are 20 million new STD cases in America each year, and our young people are being corrupted at younger and younger ages. In fact, I just came across a headline earlier today about a “sexy school teacher” who got pregnant by a 13-year-old boy. And legally, she can sue him for child support- and get it. The Aldine Independent School District Middle School teacher accused of having a sexual relationship with a 13-year-old student turned herself in to Montgomery County police after a warrant was issued for her arrest. Prosecutors said Alexandria Vera had a sexual relationship with one of her students and also got pregnant by the eighth-grader.

    Researchers from San Diego State University, Florida Atlantic University and Widener University in Pennsylvania, analysed data from the General Social Survey – a nationally representative survey of more than 30,000 adults that has asked Americans about their attitudes toward same-sex sexual behaviour since 1973 and about sexual partners since 1989. They found that between 1990 and 2014, the percentage of men who reported having had sex with at least one man increased from 4.5 percent to 8.2 percent. Let’s talk about that. The anus is part of the intestines, and is very permeable. Sperm has immune system depressants, so that sperm don’t die before the one does its job. So, ejaculant by a male, with hepatitis, say, or any of a number of STD’s, in another man’s anus, spreads infection. And, since many of these men are bi, they pass it on to women, as well. A lot of gay men don’t like condoms, for that matter. In the same time-frame, the number of women reporting having had sex with at least one woman increased from 3.6 percent to 8.7 percent. Cool. Multiple partners. Gonorrhea was original a disease in sheep. I will leave it to your imagination about how it could have spread to humans. But, we have no worries, because people with multiple sex partners always disclose that, and of course their most recent STD tests. So, lesbians who have men on the side- they exist- can pass on HIV, and so on. Liberation of people from their health can be exhilarating. And it’s not like all STD’s have a cure, either.

    If you have ever had a relationship with an addict, you have known hell. They suck energy out of you, and give nothing back. I have divorced two- count them, two- alcoholics. And I have no-one but myself to blame. I believed them when they said they would quit. And drug addictions? Think carefully. How secure is a community, when a 13 year old boy can get a blow job, from his buddy’s addicted mother.
    Alcoholics are hell to live with. Go to an AA meeting, and listen. And drug addicts are worse.

    There are more than 4 million adult websites on the Internet, and collectively they receive more traffic than Netflix, Amazon and Twitter combined. This, too, is an addiction. And, we have promotion of fashionable if unstable “alternative lifestyles” in America including “puppy play,” “ecosexuality” and “polyamory.” This is all very well, until you raise children, who need stability, and continuity.

    In May 1961, President John F. Kennedy announced that we would put men on the moon.

    In May 2016, Barack Obama announced that we would put men in women’s restrooms.

    This is a strong incentive to master the teachings of Neville Goddard, for me. I have learned not to throw the dice on any relationship that I didn’t have very focused intentions around. I did get out of those relationships unscathed financially, at least, which I credit to my use of intent.

    I see more and more men using intent, to protect themselves from those who would harm them, and filter their experience to keep out those with bad intent. Maybe that’s why they are elusive.

  19. Steven says

    I see more and more divorced and single men retiring, who don’t want to ever risk getting married again. And why should they? There are far more women than men in their group of people, and hey, why buy the cow, when the cows are lining up to pass it out for free? In some cases, even paying you to take it? Yes. I’ve seen that. Some women actually pay for the date, just to have a guy.

  20. Jordi says

    Millions of single women in America today cannot for the life of them find a “suitable” husband.

    That’s because they were passing it out for free, and around 38, the carousel starts slowing down, and they want security, with a beta. And the betas have acquired wisdom, and don’t want them.

    You wanted me not, in your prime
    I want you not, in your decline

  21. David says

    As I look at our decaying world… I get more spiritual. 3D world is dying. I have found I need to be shifting my awareness to what some would call the 5th dimension. Aaron Doughty’s video
    This Meditation Will SHIFT You into the 5th Dimension, on youtube, is an example of what I mean. Neville Goddard, Florence Scovell Shinn, and others, also talk about this shift. The last of the Narnia novels talked about a bifurcated future, where the highly spiritual simply went on a different path- in the same physical space- from the non-spiritual, materialist people. The Hopi medicine man Thomas Banyacya talked about this same bifurcation. I have realized I need to clean out my subconscious, and get into the higher level frequencies. I won’t discuss the Christian aspects of this bifurcation, but this is discussed some even in conventional religion. I quit watching TV. I don’t let junk come into my head.
    I seek out wisdom. It’s fun. And I feel more and more at peace.

  22. Derrick says

    I find that more and more men are learning that stealth really works, to keep women away.
    1. Study betas, and copy. Nerd glasses help. Unfashionable clothes help. You want to look neat, but nerd neat.
    2. Smile a lot. Be around autistic, or special needs children, and study their behavior closely. Develop a tic, a habitual motion. This wards off the golddiggers.
    3. Listen to people with speech defects talk. Think of them as a gold mine. Some stores- grocery stores, even Walmart- hire people who are socially inept, maybe special needs. These people are angels, learn from them. Greet them in stores. And listen and watch closely, so you can imitate them.
    4. Remember how you were, in high school? You turned the girls off, because you had no idea what you were doing? Start tapping into your inner nerd. Celebrate it, express it. Start talking about arcane parts of coding, say, to a woman coming on to you.
    5. Unless you really, really want a relationship, do not display alpha behaviors. These attract women like flies on garbage.
    6. Confess embarassing things about yourself to women, you know, you wet the bed, tried really hard at the institution and they finally gave you the high school diploma, have taken the driver’s license exam ten times and failed, but this time you’re going to do it. And throw in some behaviors.
    7. You are learning to be an actor. It can be so much fun to do this. I went to high school in a place I never wanted to be stuck in, and I had to learn to do all this, to keep the girls away. When I graduated, I didn’t want to come back for anything.
    8. Study gay men, especially their body language. Seeming gay… is a great way to turn down a woman, today. I haven’t tried telling women I’m a tranny, yet, but in time I’m sure the opportunity will come up.
    9. Some men will go low grade, for reasons that escape me. You will learn that, as you put on years, there are more and more women looking. You can be an alpha as easily as a beta, if you see a woman with a heart, raised in a loving 2 parent family, who is worth being around. And you won’t have thrown away your energy on the dregs. That’s not as bad as women riding the CC, but it’s close. You take on the energy of the people you hang with. If you sleep with skanks, a lot, you take on that energy. Women can be sensitive to energy, and skank energy, to a good woman, is repulsive, especially in multiple layers.

    And if you really, really want to get married, here is a bare minimum checklist:
    1. Raised in a loving two parent family. Anything else raises your risk.
    2. Good heart. There is no substitute for this. Women do not change their nature. If they are treacherous, they stay treacherous.
    3. Learn to dowse, from the American Society of Dowsers, and get sensitive enough that you can intuitively “read” a woman before you meet her. Avoid anything less than spectacular. I ride a commuter bus, to work, and I scan people getting on, for practice. Turn your intuitive scanner on, especially the visual. What some women do… never mind.
    4. She needs to have worked, and supported herself, for a time, so she knows the value of money. You can marry one out of a family, but there will be some painful education for both of you.
    5. She needs to live beyond the boundaries of her small self, her skin. This could be openhearted religion, it could be Chinese Chi Kung, it could be Native American spiritual, and several other things. If she is materialistic, she WILL hurt you.
    6. Make sure she loves children. If she doesn’t, this is a problem.
    7. You need to be the alpha, if you plan to stay married. So, be the alpha.
    8. Feminist leanings? Uhhh, you need to see this as explosive ordnance on fire, about to blow up, and unass the area, as fast as your legs can carry your otherwise soon to be shredded hind end. Yeah, yeah, I know, “she” is different. Yeah. So is a starving piranha.
    9. Mask your true self, around women of marriageable age. Just pull that grey cloud around you, when you are out and about, and let it go only if you get the green light, from your subconscious.
    10. Avoid any woman with addictions- shoes, clothes, substances, alcohol, soap operas, and so on. They are multi-frequency vampires.
    11. If a woman isn’t pleasant and polite, evade, and escape. Let them target some other idiot who wasn’t smart enough to get out of the firing line.

    Now, the positive. Write a list of everything you’d like to have in a woman. Spare nothing. Start with a loving heart, who loves you, and add to that. Work up an image in your mind, of this ideal woman, for you. Be realistic. D cups, a $10 mil mansion, buying you cars, means you are a gigolo, not an alpha. Remember that 10’s will sleep around on you, your ideal range is about a 7-8, because they can commit and stay committed. Then give her a face. And, in your imagination, start talking to her, feeling what it’s like to be around her. Mark and calibrate this energy. This is practicing, and musicians, martial artists, Olympic athletes, and military people do this all the time. Practice feeling being around your ideal woman. This trains your system in success. Random hookups are really draining, after the excitement wears off, in time they become the female equivalent of eating MRE’s. In essence, you are calling her forth from the unmanifest. She will NOT be perfect. So, be aware of the flaws. Addiction? Reject. Likes cats? OK.
    This is the advice older men, who made the mistake of not using this, give to younger men, hoping to save the younger men the pain they went through. Remember: stealth is health, stealth is wealth. Practice being in low visibility. In college, I could be invisible in a classroom, or out walking. It’s useful. DON’T do this crossing the street- set yourself to high visibility there. In time, you’ll be able to be selective- totally invisible to feminists, marginally visible to helpful women, and searchlight bright, for that special woman you are seeking. In today’s world, there is no substitute for stealth.

  23. Warner says

    Many feminists really think that they are totally attractive to men. Really. Even with all that hatred for men. And then they realize that being married to a woman isn’t much fun. It is no accident that there are high levels of domestic violence among lesbians. Women often hate each other. And they realize being a single parent isn’t much fun, either. So, they realize that well, gosh, having a husband might just actually be a good idea, since they can hit him for child support, and all that.

    And they start looking. Typically in their late 30’s. Most people over 30 or so can feel hatred, when it is directed at them. Black people are very good at this. Men are getting better and better at this, for the same reason black people are good at it; hetero white men are treated as badly as black men used to be. And black men are not treated all that well, by black women. Ask them, in a place where they know they won’t be overheard.

    And these feminists start to get nervous. Because the supply of white knights to rescue them has gotten very scarce. There are fewer and fewer men willing to risk relationships with women generally, and with vicious, feral feminists, specifically. My wife has an aunt in Spain. The woman is built like a fullback, and as strong. But she always knew to treat her husband, who was smaller and weaker than she was, with respect. She never embarassed him, or stepped on his pride. And he stayed with her.

    White Knights have learned the hard way not to be rescuing women. It’s like the old joke about the Boy Scout helping an old person across the street, and finding out the old person didn’t want to cross the street. White Knights are getting smarter, learning they need to be invisible ninjas, instead.

    Hatred attracts and is its own punishment. Feminists apparently want to learn this lesson over and over.

  24. Tom says

    F U means Feminist University. So, when you meet a graduate of Feminist University, be sure to shout, cheerfully, “F U!” several times, so she knows how much you admire her alma mater.

  25. Georg says

    I found an article on Huffington Post that interviewed 7 women from ages 28 to 65 about their thoughts on being single. To no-one’s surprise they all lied through their teeth about how they really feel about being alone. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_y6sfZ_FHgI

    How do they REALLY feel about being childless, alone, and lonely.

    Dec 27, 2018. Feminism shames women who want a family, with children. They say for women to quit putting pressure on themselves. WOmen do know that sharing their bodies with triple or quadruple partners is not healthy, physically or mentally. 1 in 4 women are on medication. They are depressed, in part because they know they will be alone. And they don’t want to settle. She knows she wants a better guy, a hot guy, sex, is rich, faithful, etc etc and she disqualifies all men. Diana, 33, is hitting the wall. She says she is single by choice. She dumped a long time boyfriend, really nice, but “I wasn’t in love, and didn’t want to settle”. Now she feels different. She didn’t have the drama and emotional rollercoaster. Women only love men who put them on an emotional rollercoaster. She broke up with him to monkey-branch, because they want another guy, to go to. They break up in their minds 3 months before doing it in the physical world. Women who say they are single and happier than ever. Yeah. Right. Single is like eating junk food; you’re always hungry for more. It’s not fulfilling. Sleep with enough low grade people, and you become low grade. The woman says she loves to wait to get married, and develop her career. Being single in your 30’s is not so good, SMV is heading down, and your choices get worse- for women. It is better to have children young. And the woman interviewed said she would tell her younger self to not settle. It does help to be thinner and more attractive to attract a high value man. Career success can be used to justify sleeping around- but your SMV is declining, and a 38 year old woman successful does have success- by herself. ALone. WIth few prospects.

    The next woman was 45. She says she gets lonely, not having someone in her life. She’s been single more than coupled, and is accepting she’ll never get married. She dates herself, she says. She’s 45 and alone? Huh? No, she’s lonely all the time, sleeping by herself. And she hasn’t had a boyfriend for five years… which means one night stands, through online dating. Bad experiences- this means the guys used her for sex, and didn’t call back after. This woman has lowered her value, considerably, and it continues to drop. What medications is she on? She’s “willing to let it happen organically”. Yeah. It isn’t going to happen, though. She passed it by. She says she’s gotten more comfortable with herself, and other women are in bad marriages. She hopes someone is out there for her. She says she is less hung up on Prince Charming… he’s not coming, though, is he, because you passed them up when you were younger. Women like her claim they were in an “abusive relationship”. Yeah. The definition of abuse has been so expanded women can apply it to anything. Good excuse. She would tell her younger self the opinions of others aren’t important, her main relationship is with herself. She trusts her feelings, and follows her heart- which means she wants to get with the hottest guy. She doesn’t understand the hottest guy has many options, and a woman who has been riding the CC as long as she has, has little value to him. In short, each of the women interviewed had a “sour grapes” attitude.

    The 65 year old single woman said she never wanted to “settle for less”, and “never felt love”. She said she loved being single, for the most part. Ha ha ha. She qualified it. She’s not with anyone else “right now”. She can’t say she won’t be with a guy, ever. She would “like someone to have her back”. She says she now knows life can be just as fulfilling without a partner. Heh heh. Right. And she would tell her younger self to be yourself and accept yourself as who you are. But that is the advice she is giving her 65 year old self, now.

    Julia, 28, called off her wedding, and 7 year relationship. Those who pay attention to patterns know she’ll regret it in 10+ years… and she states she does feel lonely at times.

    Every woman loves being alone… and won’t note the cost of loneliness. Security and so on… bad boys don’t offer that. She said she dreaded being single when younger. Men of value don’t like attention-seeking girlfriends, though, do they.

    “My partner and I didn’t think marriage was right for us”. She said. Of a boyfriend of 7 years. And a marriage she called off. She’s not married because she called off the wedding. Fascinating study in women hamster-caging in their minds. And she’s still friends with him, well yes, she has bad boys to take care of the sex, and he’s a beta orbiter. She “finds security in the uncertainty”, yet “feels it’s hard to sit with uncertainty and be patient”. Hamster caging at its finest. Uncertainty… I wonder how many hot guys I can sleep with this year…
    It was a bad omen when my boyfriend… no, he caught you sleeping around.

    Then Bridget says she feels great about single, 80% of the time. She is a classic example of a rationalization hamster. And realistically, when she’s sleeping alone, and lonely… and she feels great about single when she’s got a bad boy plowing her. SO many women are on depressants and anti-anxiety meds, because they don’t handle being alone very well. Men can be quite happy, being alone. Women don’t do it well. The singles lifestyle for women is sleeping with random guys, which reduces their ability to pair bond, which leads to … loneliness. Women see each other as quality based on the quality of the men they attract. She says when she was younger, she got more confident. Women go mental when they hit the wall, because the attention they got from men tapers off.
    The last woman was 52, and single. And her boyfriend didn’t want to work on the relationship. She says. But somehow it is always the guy’s fault. She says being dumped broke her of fearing being alone.

    This was a useful article- in hamster-caging. They will never admit they are miserable, and must make the necessity of being single a virtue, to save face.

  26. Georg says

    And of course the comments were as good as the content.
    1 in 4 women are on medication. That means that 3 in 4 women are running around untreated.

    Women who love their careers will be in for a shock when they find out their careers don’t love them back.

    The only people who REALLY love being single are men who have been married.

    Older women to younger women: Don’t settle! Also older women: Where have all the good men gone?

    My single girlfriend was giving me shit because I do my husband’s laundry. I have a feeling that her train of thought is at least partially responsible for why she’s not in a committed relationship in her late 20’s.

    When a woman says “we decided” it means SHE decided but doesn’t want to look bad.

    They can’t stand being alone. That’s just their way of dealing with the fact that they can’t get a man. Women are professional liars.

    Stability vs. Excitement. The great dilemma for women.

    “the only man who really needs women is a gynaecologist.” arthur schopenhauer

    Just recently saw one of the truest memes, can’t remember in what video. It was a woman in her 70s probably holding a cellphone smiling and it said “Finally ready to settle down”. I’ve seen so many actresses saying some shit like this recently. “I’m ready and looking for the right guy”. Charlize Theron said it recently, Dana Delaney said it and her words speak the most honest of what these retarded cunts thing “Delany commented about her personal life in an interview in 2006: “I turned 50 and I’m ready to get married… I don’t know who he is yet but I’m ready… He has to be smart, funny and kind.”[105] She added a year later: “Marriage has never been a big deal for me… But I think I’m ready now… I got to have all the fun in the world, to experience a lot of people and figure out what I really like.”‘ “Don’t settle down” means they all think Brad Pitt is going to kick down the door and beg to replace their man, and/or they truly bought into feminism and the idea everything about being a woman and having a man is wrong and didn’t realize until they’re 40 why they’re miserable. Feminists are like vegans who spent a decade or more telling themselves they feel like shit cause their body is still getting rid of all that meat poison. Then they finally eat some fish, feel amazing and realize it was the fucking veganism that was the problem.

    She fought the Law and the Law won…She hit the wall and the Wall won…

    All women want Superman that they overlook Clark Kent and never ask about Kal-El and fail to realize that they’re the Kryptonite.🤔🤯😁

    Local female owner of a matchmaking service,when asked what her single biggest challenge is,said that it was the unreasonable expectations of the women using her service. Their expectations exist in 1/1000 men. She said her second biggest challenge is in keeping these women’s expectations to a more reasonable level. Her third biggest challenge was finding men to sign up for her service.

    If you’re a woman 35 and over then you’re just a 6th or 7th round pick just in case a dude is desperate for a role player. Women love running away from reality because it makes them cope well with their bad choices.

    women are like Tarzan: they don’t let go of one vine until the grab the next one; other wise they might fall to the jungle floor!

    She already met Prince Charming and passed him for the bad boy. Chad and Tyrone

    Woman have priced themselves out of the market. Most women that are in upper management or C.E.O’s of large companies making six digit figures are ugly and well educated. They learned early on in life that no man is going to pay for them, so they had better learn how to support themselves and earn a living. If they are making six digit figures they will not marry a man making less. They want a good-looking man who also makes a six-digit figure or more. Problem is, good looking guys making a six-digit figure don’t want anything to do with them. They can get a younger better-looking model and they don’t care how much money she makes, how much money she has, what kinda job she has or if she has one at all, what kinda car she drives, or where she lives, how big her house is or if she even has a house. Women are not capable of thinking or doing anything like that. They want to keep what is theirs and not share, and they want to spend and use what is the man’s for themselves. They are naturally parasites. All of those items are important to women, even if she is making a six digit figure and can afford to comfortably support both of them. She’s not having it, she won’t do it, she’s selfish. She wants her money for herself and wants to spend the man’s money on herself also. It’s just their nature to be parasites and offer little or nothing in return. Women will not marry down financially, although men have no problem with it. There are plenty of good men / nice guys out there that would be happy to be their husbands and would be good husbands to them and good fathers to their children. Problem is, they are plumbers (who make dam good money by the way), garbage collectors, store clerks, shelf stockers, building maintenance/janitors, landscapers, car mechanics, construction workers, law enforcement, fast food store managers, heavy equipment operator…… These girls don’t want those kinda guys because of the type of job they have or the amount of money they make. It doesn’t matter to them that they would be good husbands and good fathers. They “say” they want a nice guy, but when they have a nice guy looking at them in the face, they just look right through him if he’s not a doctor, lawyer, or upper management on some large corporation. So, when they say I just want a nice guy, they don’t really mean that. They don’t give a rat’s ass if he’s nice or not. This is “code” for what they really mean. What they really want and what they really mean is they want a rich guy with resources they can have access to. How would it look to their girlfriends if they were married to a plumber? Oh, the horror, the embarrassment. Funny, guys don’t have that problem with women. How do you look naked and will you have sex with me, are pretty much the requirements men have for women. I thought women wanted to be equal? Women want the power of men, the privilege of being a woman, and the responsibility of neither. Let me know how that works out for you. Good luck with that.
    Read more

    Women can’t handle being alone, yet single. One day this girl post on fb I enjoy being alone, next hour she text me let’s go out. Smh. I learnt to believe their actions than words

    10:29 note to my younger self: “you were not selfish enough; be more selfish; it’s all about you!”

    I am a guy in my 50s. And the thought of dating in my age group. Makes me cringe!!!! Emotionally and physically damaged. So much baggage you have to rent a u haul truck to be around them. No tbanks…

    “A man can eat a filet mignon every single day. But if he’s hungry, a cheese sandwich will do. Many of those ladies out there do not realize… That they are that cheese sandwich.” Paul Proteus

    Every woman thinks she has settled. However, in reality, they have most likely found someone with more value than they have. They always believe they could have done better, even though they bring nothing to the table.

    Never Settle 🤔 Got it. Actually Never Settle = make sure you get 🏠 💰💰 and prizes. Then she goes back to broke Chad.

    Just one look at IG you will find 5s posing and thinking they are 10s. That’s just par for the course, but what is mind blowing is all these betas validating these delusional women by commenting how beautiful they are. And then they wonder why they always get shot down. Think about it. Your validation makes them think they are too good for you.

    Yea of course she loves being left wet and hung out to dry by the alpha stud while he smiles at her and says I may be back soon my wife still wants that gallon of milk.😁😁😁😁

    I remember after me and my ex broke up she gave me a sob story and asked for some money. Just say no.

  27. Georg says

    Couples get married at an altar because that’s when the man is sacrificed.

    Recipe for disaster:
    1.Over-value yourself
    2. Never settle
    There is a guy in my city whose house has been for sale for as long as I can remember. Probably 35 years. He obviously has it over-valued. He is not a motivated seller so is waiting for someone to give him his price. This isn’t how banks work, but this is how women think. Women think, “I’m a house worth one million dollars.” Men go to the bank, the bank orders an assessment and then the bank says, the house is worth 100K: give us 10K and we’ll give you a mortgage for 90K. The woman thinks, that’s their opinion, I’m worth one million and someday my prince will come. If he comes, he is fooled, and he loses everything. We see this in family court every day.

    My accountants daughter is divorcing. She said that he was abusive. How ,I quipped. Oh he did not want have her spent every dollar out of each check he got. Thea was abusive to her and the mother as well.

    Most women are co-dependent. it’s why women stick with abusive guys. They don’t want to be slapped in the face but they don’t want to be alone either. On some level a stupid woman thinks the abuser will finally stop hitting her and he’ll become a 50’s sitcom dad and be able to give her resources. Women need men in ways men don’t need women. Men don’t look for women to pay their rent or give them expensive gifts. Dating in the West revolves around men spending money on woman to impress hem because woman ARE impressed by material things. Their instincts are to be parasites because they have children so they want someone that can protect and provide for them while their are pregnant and while she is raising the kids. Since women are emotional and not rational they are basically bi polar. In my experience more women then men seek out problems and start fights over nothing because women love drama. Women would rather be angry or depressed then feel nothing. Women can’t just feel a 4 or a 5, they need to feel a 10 in all emotions to really feel it.

    Here’s a hint….they HATE being alone. But their pride won’t let them admit it.

    The old societal model was: A young woman would trade her youth and fertility exclusively to only one man, and he in turn would be the workhorse and take care of her when she gets past her prime. This was a great incentive for men to work, become men, and get married. You got a prize, a young beautiful loyal wife. In theory, as we know life isn’t perfect. She does him a favor early on by being a virgin/exclusive and later he does her a favor by staying and supporting her instead of leaving her for a younger woman. They both get a prize. The new societal model is: Women whore around and waste their youth and fertility on Chad/Tyrone, get walled out, get STDs, lose their ability to pair bond, rapidly accelerate their aging process with excessive alcohol and fast food, and have no loyalty to any man. What sensible man would pay top dollar for something 30 other men got for free? The incentive for men is gone. You don’t get a prize anymore. You get a parasite with an entitlement mentality that’s looking to take your resources and then some. Before you even say “I do” at the altar, she’s already plotting how to financially rape your ass in family court when she divorces your sorry ass in a few years. Why do you think she’s smiling as she’s walking down the aisle? A woman’s main reason for getting married is to get a divorce. You’re expected to pay a premium price for a used up, beaten up, soulless woman from the bargain basement bins of some store in the hood with the morals of an alley cat, an in denial, freak of nature, pathologically delusional, self-esteem deficient, morally bankrupt, bottom dwelling, blood sucking, inhuman, creature of the night, bitch on wheels, spawned from the seed of Satan, and a boil on the buttocks of the world. When she dies, the last living reminder of hell will be gone from the face of the earth. She has kids from Chad/Tyrone or both, personal credit card debt, no assets, school debt for a worthless degree in liberal arts or gender studies, no cooking skills and no desire to learn any, no fiscal responsibility, an overly banged vagina, and a pet you’ll be expected to take care of as well. And you’re supposed to be happy about this opportunity to lick up the scraps from the floor. The so-called good men she wants and can’t find are out there. They just don’t want her at the table because she has nothing to bring except financial and emotional pain. When women say, “Men are only after one thing”. Meaning sex. My question to them is, do you have anything else to offer. Crickets is all I hear. Which means even they don’t believe they have anything else to offer. In addition, she also has great expectations you’ll do everything for her, make her feel better, and provide an unrealistic unsustainable life style she feels she deserves because she read about it some feminazi magazine article that hates men. All this while she cheats behind your back with the “bad boys” she really wants while you’re at work paying all the bills for this little parasite. Women don’t “love men”, they love what men can do for them. Where are all the great art works female artists have created, inspired by their love of men?

    Men are not afraid of commitment or marriage…. Men are afraid of getting divorce raped in “family court.” It’s just a bad deal and there’s nothing in it for men except the chance to be financially ruined for the rest of your life. If you were thinking of going skydiving and were told that one in four parachutes failed. Would you still be so interested in trying it out for the thrill of a lifetime? If you saw your friends and people before you jump, some successfully, others only to splat into the ground, would you still be so excited about taking that chance for yourself, hoping that you’ll be the lucky one that gets one that works? But… but…. Look how pretty the parachutes are, smell their lovely fragrance, touch and feel how soft they feel, they beckon you to try one of them on, please try me on and let me wrap myself tightly around you and see how good I feel to you, I’ll hold on tight and snug to you, I am not like the others, honest, I’ll work. Well….. would you do it? Would you take that chance for the thrill of a lifetime? The odds are in your favor, three out of the four will work. Would you do it? Yea, that sounds like a good deal, is this the line I stand in to lose half my sh!t? Good luck with that. Men are waking up and realizing this system is defective and toxic. Women’s sexual liberation, feminism and the birth control pill, have ironically dis-empowered women. They are throwaway sexual objects now more than ever.
    Read more

  28. Georg says

    and more

    Men are not afraid of marriage or commitment…….. we are afraid of divorce. Marriageable men today have seen their fathers destroyed by “family court” and have seen their friends lose everything to a cheating woman. Why would they want to take that chance that the woman they are with would be any different?

    Women have the biological imperative to mate and be involved with men…being single is a silent killer for women. How? Poverty, loneliness, and the fear of having no one to protect them or care for them in their old age. Women are spitting in the face of all that and men are walking away from them because of it. What women are trying to avoid they are actually heading straight forward to. Remember…THE WALL IS UNDEFEATED!

    This is why the borders are open, American women aren’t having babies and the results will lead to socialism in the not so distant future.

    They need to ask the important questions. Does she cook at home or eat out? Does she have credit debt? Does she own a home? Does she have savings and a retirement plan? This is why most women around 30 or 40 desperately try to date or settle down. Over and over I’ve found women that have lots of debt, no savings and no long term plan. They brag about independence but want dates to pay their way.

    Does anyone still believe that the Mainstream Media tell the Truth ? That the they report news, rather than brainwash their readers ? 5 anonymous, made up “women”. Did they all work at Feminist Huff Post ? Were they totally fictitious and made up, just in order to write some bullshit Political Correctness ?

    So here is my solution to the plight of women. With great interest I have thought meaningfully about their dilemma. I offer the following analysis of their predicament. Firstly, I’m not wasting time, I qualify as a guy who fits their bill; that is, I make more than $500K per year. That said here’s how I see it. Her offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is simply a crappy business deal and here’s why. Cutting through all the B.S., what she suggests is a simple trade: she brings her looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here’s the rub, her looks will fade, and my money will likely continue into perpetuity…in fact, it is very likely that my income will increases but it is an absolute certainty that her assets won’t be getting any more beautiful! So, in economic terms she is a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only is she a depreciating asset, her depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, she is 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick in the fork, she’s done! The wall is out there. It can’t be bargained with. It can’t be reasoned with. It doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop,…… ever. Until you are old, alone, and with your cats. Every beautiful woman dies twice, the first time is when she hits the wall. So, in Wall Street terms, I would call her a trading position, not a buy and hold…hence the rub…marriage. It doesn’t make good business sense to “buy her” (which is what she is asking) so I’d rather lease her with no option to buy. In case you think I’m being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would she. She’d drop me faster than a bad habit. So, when her beauty fades, I need an out. It’s as simple as that. So, a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage. Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as “articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful” as she might say she is, has been unable to find herself a sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if she is as gorgeous as she says she is that the $500K hasn’t found her first, if not only for a tryout. By the way, she could always find a way to make her own money and then we wouldn’t need to have this difficult conversation. With all that said, I must say they are going about it the right way. Classic. I hope this is helpful, and if they want to enter into some sort of lease, they can let me know.

    Focused on My Career = Taking all the D

    Tom Leykis covered the nature of women way back in the early 2000’s Every man should listen to him for a while to understand what women to avoid (hint, most of them! Not all, but certainly most)

    A Man’s Fairy Tail Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess, “Will you marry me?” The Princess said, “No!!!” And the Prince lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and dated skinny long-legged full-breasted women and hunted and fished and raced cars and went to naked bars and dated ladies half his age and drank whiskey, beer, and Captain Morgan and never heard bitching and never paid child support or alimony and dated cheerleaders and kept his house and ate spam and potato chips and beans and blew enormous farts and never got cheated on while he was at work and all his friends and family thought he was cool as hell and he had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up. The End https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PCpBa4ITEcI&t=5s The Princess? Well as time went by in her delusional mind and enchanted and privileged world she thought would never end. Her biological clock kept ticking… and ticking. Ticking so loudly you could almost hear it. She kept getting older and older, she started to gain weight, and had developed “crow’s feet” under her eyes. She discovered princes were no longer interested in her anymore because they wanted and could get younger more attractive princesses that had tight asses and didn’t have sagging boobs like hers. They wanted princesses that weren’t so all consuming bitches like her that thought the world revolved around them. Much to her chagrin men were not fawning all over her like she was a bitch in heat anymore. So, much to her mortification she actually had to develop a nice personality and at least pretend to be a pleasant person to be around. She had to grudgingly put others before herself. She learned that to even get a prince to look at her or even talk to her, she had to at least make-believe not to be the bitch she knew she was and hide that evil, vile, creature living inside of her that was screaming so badly to come out you could almost hear its howling blood curdling scream in the dark of a misty night. Lurking in the shadows you could just imagine the feel of its heavy, warm, moist breath just inches from the back of your neck. Wanting to come out and seek whom it may sink its already bloody fangs into. Still dripping from the blood of so many past men and into its new victims, so to devour them as she had done so many times, so coldly, and so callously in the past. She now had to be nice to people and pretend she was interested in what they had to say rather than talk about herself. She also discovered people where no longer pretending to be interested in what she had to say. She learned that it’s not all about her, she had to learn to pretend not to be a blood sucking selfish bitch that would suck the very life right out of you with no regret or conscious. She had to work at trying to look pretty. It didn’t come so easy and naturally to her like it had in the past. She was getting old and rapidly approaching the wall and she knows it. Gravity had not been kind her. Things are changing, changing fast, and not for the better. She is beginning to get desperate and these desperate times called for desperate actions. She finally found a prince that took pity on her aging and sagging body and agreed to date her with the understanding he didn’t want to marry her or have children. This selfish, evil, and entitled little bitch wanted both and so she hatched an evil, wicked, and vile plan of deceit, deception, and lies she thought would trick the prince into marring her. She lied to him, deceive him, offered liberal sex and pretended to like sex in hopes of trapping him into her deceitful web of vile lies, despicable treachery, abhorrent deceit, and dishonest sex. The promise of love was written on her face. She led him on with untrue kisses. Kisses she only pretended to feel. She held him captive in her false embrace. Sweetness was only heart aches camouflaged. The love he saw in her was just a mirage. Just like the desert shows a thirsty man, green oasis where there’s only sand. She had to ask him to marry her not once, not twice, but many times and he kept refusing. This was quite a change for her to have to be the one asking to get married and even more humiliating, he was rejecting her offer. The prince kept saying no but told her he would be willing to continue to date her and give her a better and fulfilling life she otherwise would not have been able to have attained on her own. All this being precluded by her continued “good behavior”. This wasn’t enough for this selfish little bitch. She wanted it all without the requirement of having to earn it or be a nice person to keep it. She wanted to sink her already bloody fangs deeply into his neck and wallet and suck out and take whatever financial freedom he still had left in him and make it her own leaving him nothing. So she hatched an evil fool proof plan to trap him….. or so she thought. Here is her story. The story of lies, deceit, betrayal, and sex. The story of the evil, deceitful, lying princess bitch that was never heard from again: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hg-I8tLm3_E&t=963s One for fun: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kPG6LsEFTKA Extra Bonus: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F5IiaPZ-5Vs The Best Letter Ever Written: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gG6nHEf-8rs

    My favorite was Maggie “I’ve never felt loved by the men I was with. ” Translation, “I have a big hole inside of me that can’t be filled.” I’ve known women like this, there is nothing you can do to prove you love them, they’re a bottomless pit of need and insecurity and it’s your fault you can’t fill her up.

  29. Georg says

    and more;

    Now I understand why my wife does not have any friends. She doesn’t want to be around these creatures either.

    “This girls rationalization hamster is bionic” That has to be the best metaphor that I have ever heard!

    Women complain about this stuff because they have been raised, and by law government FORCES, to expect absolutely no consequences for their actions. Zero. None. But the one consequence for their carousel party years is the wall. And when they get there, and not until they get there, they believe they’ll never have to face the music. And when they realize that yes, what some women and most men have been telling them is actually true, they go mental and blame men for all their problems. Because another thing women have been taught from day 1 is; they cannot be responsible for anything. So, they must blame someone or something for what happened to them. Not themselves, of course, That’s unacceptable. And many women get away with this game…for a while. Until they’re early 30s. Then reality sets in.
    Read more

    U know what, since I’m a nice guy, I may smash one of these post wall thots, but only because I’m a nice guy

    I Am a man. I Am single and enjoy it. It is the best for me because I potentially avoid alimony and child support.

    They love it until they’re 45 years old, no man wants them, and they have no family to speak of …. except their ten rescue cats.

    “I am dating myself.” Don’t these women realize they sound stupid when they say that?

    Abusive relationships = He wouldn’t let me talk and treat him like crap!

    I was sleeping with this female a few days ago who told me she broke up with her boyfriend because she had too keep reminding him too take out the trash..I’m like so what else was wrong with him..She said nothing, she said the fact that she had too keep reminding him to take the trash out was stressful…I’m like, oooooookkkkkkkkkk.🙄
    Read more

    I love how all these women are complaining that they never attracted a long-term man, but none of them have at any point said what they would have brought to a relationship and why a man would have been interested in them in the first place. Strange that doesn’t seem anywhere on their minds…

    Can you imagine what the world would be like if all women followed the western women’s mission refusing to settle?? No babies to level of potential human instinct! MGTOW is a viable option. Women burn through a lot great guys when their young. Then, suddenly, nature and biology confronts them at 36.. 38, 39, 40….. Ugh-oh🙀
    Read more

    This is the best thing you can listen to as a guy!! Trust this dude, he’s got it on the mark!! I’ve seen it with my own eyes! Ignore at your own peril!

    If you also noticed gen z is more old school conservative. They see the reality of the feminized

    for all these women ….”follow my gut ” …… means clearly follow their snatch

    Never trust anything that bleeds for days and doesn’t die.

    are making realistic plans for their future. I mean, REAL plans. Like, what are you going to do for money and stability ON YOUR OWN, when the looks fade and take your career opportunities with it. Ugly guys can make good money. Ugly women, not so much. The “quality” guys they’re all talking about are making plans (or have already achieved them). But having not supported the guy on his way up, he’s not going to support her in her decline.
    Read more

    “7 women get honest….” That’s all I needed to hear to know that this article was complete crap.

  30. Georg says

    and a few more:

    Makes sense: “life is too short” SO KEEP LOOKING FOR MR.PERFECT! Don’t settle!! Women logic 🙄

    Theirs a difference between single and never been married women and single divorced women. The divorced mother got a small bailout and might get monthly passive income in the form of child support and alimony. She now has money, can give the kids to dad for the weeknd while she bangs some guy she met at the club, and works part time at a cafe now.

    “Ladies and gentlemen, fasten your seatbelts, we are approaching Rationalization Central. Landing may be bumpy due to turbulence.”

    Prince Charming has a demand list of his own do you meet it?

    27:10 Very important point; masculine confidence is very different from feminine confidence! Whenever women talk about ‘confidence’ I remind myself of this fact.

    Donovan Sharpe whats up bro 😎 Love the content you provide, you’re f*cking hilarious 😅😂🤣😆

    Glad I found your show bro. This is great. Dishing out them red pill. I’mma have to start calling you Morpheus.

    I’m not sure you commented on the fact that HuffPost carefully chose these 7 women. These women, and their answers, were hand-selected to perpetuate the myth that being single is the best lifestyle for women. They intentionally chose the “I’m happy most of the time” because they wanted it to be believable, while also portraying that other practitioners could also expect to be happy… most of the time, and that if they weren’t happy, that was to be expected and could be minimized with confidence and strength. Women also make decisions about what is good and bad collectively, rather than individually. Whether it is determining that a given man is date-able, or that a given diet works, or that a given dress makes them look good, women look to their peers to guide their decision-making. When you consider the HuffPost article in that light, the authors are trying to convince all women — including these 7 women! — that being single is ok, and may in fact be preferred to being in a stable, committed relationship. Other thoughts; here’s my take on what’s happened: The 28-yo got attention from Chad, and monkey-branched away from her Fiance. I suspect Fiance found out about it, and that’s why he’s okay with them calling off the wedding. She only had 1 dick from age 21 to 28. She felt like she was missing out and needs to make up for lost time. Oh well. The 65-yo has suffered some kind of hardship – probably financially-related – such as having a car repo’ed, or having to declare bankruptcy after drowning in credit card debt. She also hasn’t been able to afford many of the things to which she once thought she should be entitled. And because there was no man to act the ATM for her, she had to forego those things. I think that’s what she means about someone not having her back. The 33-yo is trying to repeat on the Chads she had in the past, back when she was 23. But they don’t call her anymore because there are new 23-yos, and she hasn’t yet found the courage to admit publicly what has changed, that she is hitting the wall. There was a time when she got brunch on Saturday morning, but she isn’t getting those invitations anymore — or if she is, she thinks she’s above the guys offering because she once got Chads. The 52-yo was unable to control her boyfriend. He was probably a Beta, but also probably grew sick of her and dumped her because she doesn’t know how to have a give-and-take relationship.
    Read more

  31. Larry says

    I also hear from strong, successful single women who for the life of them can’t find a husband.

    If men wanted to marry superstrong and successful fullbacks with a megabitchy attitude, superiority complex, moods, they would be gay.

    Hetero men aren’t attracted to butch women, usually. And most of those “strong, successful women”, are either only so in their own minds, or they are butch.

  32. Randall says

    Suzanne, you said: “For the past forty years, women have been demanding their relationships with men be free of traditional sex roles. Women said they can do everything themselves and “don’t need a man.” They wanted to lead and to be their own heroes.”

    And more and more, they are free of traditional sex roles… because men just aren’t interested in them. Hey, they can do everything themselves, and “don’t need a man”. They wanted to lead and be their own heroes. Great. Most men are polite, and quite happy to let women go off and do their own thing. Because they believe what these women say.

    Remember the final scene of The Truman Show? The Truman character was modern man, being played by women, corporations, and everything else. He finally saw through it, and decided to leave. There were storms, but he just kept going. He realized his wife didn’t love him, that his entire life was a lie, and he was manipulated from all sides. And he decided to go walkabout. What was it Jim Carrey said at the end of the movie, something like “goodbye, and good luck!”

    Today’s women are like Jane Fonda, who went to N. Vietnam on a lark, and got herself filmed operating an anti-aircraft gun, at a time when pilots were being shot down, and tortured in the Hanoi Hilton. She couldn’t understand why so many people were very upset with her. She was just being a little girl. She is so out of it she has never apologized for the treacherous insult she offered, to men and women who were risking their lives, in service to their country. And if you want to criticize the Vietnam War, maybe you want to criticize the Democrat who put us there: LBJ. LBJ spent over $250 bn 1960’s dollars, which would be over a trillion in today’s money, on that war, and his advisers ran it very badly. Rev. Martin Luther King came out against that war, and 8 days later passed on. Do you really think that was a crazed lone assassin? Come on. King’s family doesn’t believe that theory either. Our media is all fairy tales. But people blame conservatives for that war. American media is all lies, and has been for a long time.

    I personally wrote to Hollywood movie studios, and told them I would never pay to see a movie that Jane Fonda starred in. Ever. I am now writing to Disney, to tell them that until they fire that PC woman writing the recent Star Wars scripts, and get someone who knows what they are doing in, I am not going to watch any Star Wars movies again, either, because they are PC crap. I do it in a paper letter, so there is something of substance. Money talks. Our mass media is dying. Youtube offers better coverage and information than mass media. Blogs offer better coverage, and information, than mass media. Let us recall why the Monica Lewinsky story got out. The mass media killed it, and a reporter emailed it to Matt Drudge, who knew was it was right away, and blast emailed it out. So Bill Clinton, who has been accused of raping a large number of women, was just “subject to political attacks”, because when you “drag a $50 through a trailer park, you don’t know what you’ll get”, while Kavanaugh’s accuser changed her story what, eight times? As part of an obvious political attack? And her backups didn’t back her up? I’ve gone on a media fast, and I get up with lots of energy, I exercise more, I don’t worry nearly as much, I’m cheerful, I get more work done. Our mass media are the media equivalent of junk food. When it comes to women, if they read romance novels, women’s magazines, see women’s talk shows on TV, and otherwise consume mass media products, you knowwww she is not wife material. She may not even be pump and dump material. There are more and more American women who may look good physically, but their minds are full of media sewage. My grandfather had a far better class of women to choose from, and they lived in mutually supportive communities. They were a lot happier than we are, even with all their stress. Heck, even in the neighborhood I grew up in, we knew our neighbors. We sometimes even had barbecues, and gatherings. I am encouraged by young people, though. Some of them know they are being lied to more than Russians have ever known. And they are getting conservative. The media won’t cover this, because they don’t want to admit they are losing market share, or that their propaganda is losing effectiveness. If cable TV was a la carte, CNN, MSNBC, and all those other garbage outlets would shut their doors, tomorrow.

  33. Eric says

    That article said: One explanation for declines in marriage is a shortage of economically-attractive men for unmarried women to marry. (ha ha ha ha ha. All that Equal Opportunity stuff means there are fewer and fewer economically attractive men. You did it to yourselves, ladies. Have fun being strong and independent)

    Women wanted men with an average income that was about 58% higher than the actual unmarried men currently available to unmarried women, and more likely to have a college degree by about 20%. (Ha ha ha. Fantasy is the world so many women live in. They aren’t grounded, because nobody taught them to be grounded.)

    The researchers found that racial and ethnic minorities, especially black women, face serious shortages of potential marital partners, as do unmarried women with either low or high socioeconomic status.
    (Really look at how black men have been treated. Because black people are often experimented on, by the leftist social engineers, before they bring it to the general population. White males are being more and more treated like blacks- discrimination, lynchings, hatred, firings without due process, arrests and convictions without due process, and so on.)

    “Most American women hope to marry but current shortages of marriageable men—men with a stable job and a good income—
    (Uh oh. That means men have negotiating leverage. How long before feminists start requiring men to get married, to the land whales, to deal with this “male privilege”? It’s really only a slight step up from criminalizing “manspreading”. And you would think women would value this scarce commodity. But most don’t. More married women play around than men do.)

    “Marriage is still based on love, but it also is fundamentally an economic transaction. Many young men today have little to bring to the marriage bargain, especially as young women’s educational levels on average now exceed their male suitors.” (Yes, it is fundamentally an economic transaction. And many young men have been blocked from creating sufficient value to bring to the marriage bargain, with quotas, rampant discrimination against men, gender-based discrimination against men, open abuse, lying accusations, and so on. But as to the educational levels, college degrees have been dumbing down for a long time. A high school graduate in 1940 had a better education than most college graduates do nowadays. That high school grad had been taught initiative, setting goals, clear thinking, basic skills, and how to get along with people, and succeed in life. Many college graduates do not have these skills.

    They didn’t mention that married men are no longer respected, either. Instead, it is open season on them, with ridicule, divorce courts, cuckolding wives, and many young men just don’t see any value to being married, even before you run the numbers.

  34. Conrad says

    You said black women have trouble finding partners. Especially educated black women.

    I know of a guy, about 40. He had to go to the hospital. So family members were there with him. He worked in a hospital, and so was around women. He was black, that’s relevant, here. The woman he was living with showed up, spoke to the family, and left. Another woman showed up. He had a girlfriend on the side, it seemed. And another. And another. He was somehow keeping 8 plates twirling, in the air. He worked odd hours, that helped. The oldest was I think 60, and reportedly looked very good. The youngest was about 30.

    I hear more and more black men complaining about how difficult to live with black women are. I know only what they tell me. They love Hispanic women, who are far more cooperative, and family-oriented, and some can get white women. They are seeking outside their own ethnic pool. Just as I see Caucasian men looking outside their own ethnic pool, for Hispanic, Asian, black, Eastern European, even the occasional Arab woman. Because American Caucasian women are simply low grade, as wives. I have yet to meet a man over about 40, who doesn’t have at least one buddy, who has been reamed in divorce court. Men are creatures of inertia. They tend to stay in marriages. WOmen initiate most divorces, now, and where they don’t, they drove the guy to initiate. Once they are out of a marriage, though, they suddenly realize that they are in hookup heaven. With that most painful education in the extreme disadvantage of being male, in a divorce case, they are inoculated against further marriage. Even before the fact that a man paying child support has it increased, by his new wife’s income, if he remarries, and it cannot be lowered for any reason.

    I really enjoy banana bread, and similar home-cooked stuff. It’s not the dry, tasteless stuff stores offer. My mother used to make these. Nowadays, I have to go to like the art show I was at yesterday, where there was a fundraiser, and buy it. The women who make this stuff, to raise money for a library, say, or scholarship fund, are all older than I am. I get their bread, to recall my youth, and know that, before long, I won’t be able to get it any more.

    That’s a good metaphor for what women are facing. They haven’t figured out yet that the social engineers want to end marriage, and just make women be baby factories, worse than anything Margaret Atwood could have dreamed up. Feminism did not just arise, it was supported, funded, underwritten by some very nasty corporate entities. The drug companies are making a fortune off women being so depressed, and feeling sick. The cosmetic companies are, too, helping women deal with those feelings of inadequacy. The clothes and shoe stores are making a bundle, off of women doing shopping therapy. It is in their interest to promote feminism, so women can be empty inside, and sad, and so, have to buy products, to try to fill that Void. Russian women understand this, and a Russian woman will treat even a marginal husband well, because they know husbands cannot be easily replaced. But Russians are practical. They have no choice. They die if they aren’t. American women have the luxury of following creeds that are not based in fact, from feminism, to social justice warriors, to many others. I don’t watch Oprah, but that one show she did, on the woman who had 100 must have qualities in a prospective husband, starting with a 7 digit income per year, left me laughing uncontrollably on the floor. May Allah grant her a great patience.
    Feminists want to criminalize polite courtship behavior, especially on college campuses. Great. The lads know to look elsewhere. They know what toxic femininity is, and know to avoid it. Traditionally, in all male schools, men sublimated their sexuality in learning, and mastered their craft, with perhaps a weekend dance, to break the monotony. With co-ed schools, women are much more available, which paradoxically, reduces their value. I’ve seen notes from women in colleges saying that the sexual harassment training doesn’t men they can’t approach women. But men are on/off. Hey, if normal courtship behavior isn’t legal, no problem, I just won’t engage in it. My widowed mother remarried, to her college boyfriend, at 70. He knew he could trust her. Two wives treated him badly, and he was just playing the field. My mother wrote to him, after she became a widow. It was neat to see. And this was a very different generation, where you could usually trust the other person. Men trust women far less than they used to. And with good reason.

  35. Eleanor says

    Just as prescriptive literature of the 19th century geared to the middling classes emphasized women’s “true” place in society as mother and wife, the 1950s saw an ideal perpetuated in books, magazines, movies, television, songs, and ads that depicted the white, middle-class woman fulfilled only by a happy marriage. The following >>>>article from a popular magazine of 1960<<<< offered a sociological survey of the more than one-third of adult American women whose lives did not fit this domestic norm. Based on interviews with single, divorced, and widowed women, and a host of “experts”, the author detailed the “frenzied” mating efforts of women who tried, but failed, to marry as well as the adverse psychological effects of being single. Despite the evidence presented that unmarried women could be happy—sometimes even happier than their married counterparts—the article’s rhetorical emphasis on “frantic hordes of unwed women” relentlessly searching for husbands perpetrated a stereotypical depiction at odds with some of the statistics and testimonies quoted.

    Women Without Men

    About 41,500,000 of the adult women in the United States are married. But 21,327,000 others are women without men: women who have never married (11,822,000); widows (8,047,000) and divorcees (1,458,000).

    This means that a little more than one third of the 62,827,000 women in the United States are getting along without steady male companionship. How do they adjust to this fact of life? How do they like their manless lot? What do they do about changing it? Do they want to change it?

    To find the answers to these questions, I have interviewed scores of widows, divorced women, bachelor girls, men, gynecologists, psychologists, psychiatrists, managers of women’s hotels, executives of women’s organizations and Government statisticians.

    Here are a few conclusions that emerge from these interviews:

    1. Despite the assumption by many males that women cease looking for sex, men and marriage after the age of 50, the fact is that, as one gynecologist put it, “they remain interested in all these things until cremation.”

    2. Many unattached women of “nice” background are as much drawn to sexual relations with men as married women are, or perhaps more so; relentlessly, they go about most of their lives trying to find sexual fulfillment.

    3. Although it is a world-wide and historic conviction that every woman wants to be married, some do not want marriage. Consciously or unconsciously, many of them spend a lifetime resisting it.

    4. Today, one out of every ten families in the United States is headed by a woman. Many of these women were forced into this role by the death of their husbands or by divorce, while others are the sole support of elderly parents.

    5. Hundreds of thousands of young women who have left their homes and moved to the big city in search of work and a husband have found only the work.

    What complicates the problems of the more than 21,000,000 women without men is that they outnumber their unattached male counterparts by 3,696,000. (There are 14,331,000 adult bachelors in the United States; 2,272,000 widowers; 1,028,000 divorced men.) Furthermore, if the ladies do not get to the altar at an early age, they are likely to get stranded. Nowadays, 70 per cent of all American women marry before they are 24 years old. From then on, it’s a downhill slide. By the time a woman is 30, there is about one chance in two she will ever get married and at 40, only one chance in five. By the time she is 50, the chances she will marry are just one in 16, and after 60, her chances drop to one in 62.

    Undaunted by the statistics, most American women without men make repeated (if sporadic) attempts in the direction of marrying throughout their lifetimes—often in ways that would have scandalized the proper Victorians.

    Almost to a woman, those I interviewed said the same thing: “I have only one problem. I would like to be married, but I find it impossible to meet eligible men no matter how I try—and nobody can say I don’t try.”

    How the man hunt is conducted
    This wail came alike from the throats of divorced, widowed and single women of all ages, regardless of whether they worked in the community in which they grew up (more than 50 per cent do) or whether they had taken a job halfway across the country from their childhood homes.

    Since the end of World War II, well over twenty million Americans have moved from their home states to settle elsewhere, and this mass migration included untold thousands of manless women—mainly to California, Texas, Florida, Michigan, New York and Ohio. But whether these women are newcomers or “natives,” and regardless of age or income, they operate with the same husband-hunting techniques.

    They reason that first they must locate a male. Even if they are among the special glitter-group of the very rich, the hunt remains the same, essentially, except that it is often conducted in these postwar years against a background of Paris or Rome. “But,” cries a beautiful 32-year-old divorcee, “I’ve been abroad for two years now, and what do I meet? Old bachelors living smugly on their little incomes, or young bachelors who want to live smugly on my big income. I feel strange and alien here; I think I’ll go home and find an American husband again. But where shall I go?”

    More typical is the complaint of a pretty 25-year-old secretary who moved to New York City a year ago: “There’s nothing I haven’t done to meet men since I came here. Why, for the first six months, I had 35 different jobs because I deliberately worked for a temporary employment agency. But most of the men I met in offices didn’t want to mix business and pleasure. I’ve met a few men ice-skating, but some evenings I get so lonely my judgment gets off-base; then I go dancing at a public dance hall. How can you meet a man there and be sure of his background?”

    Many women join political clubs. (The head of one of New York’s local Democratic clubs says, “They go from club to club to meet men; we call them Carpetbagging Liberals.”) Others go to evening classes at universities, taking courses in such subjects as “How to Sail a Boat,” with the hope that it will attract men. Some of them join a number of churches in succession, interested less in finding God than in finding a husband. Spasmodically, they go in for sports, becoming members of ski clubs, riding clubs, golf clubs. They save their money for cruises—often discovering, once the ship is at sea, that they are trapped with dozens of other unattached women like themselves. One 45-year-old widow mourns, “This winter I went on a 14-day cruise to the West Indies. Whom did I meet? Eighty single women, and only ten men—one of them 17, another 70.” …

    Some single women—and of course many married women—recognize their problems and realize that they need professional help to solve them. An estimated 50,000 to 75,000 women currently get private psychiatric help in the United States. In general, the married women are dissatisfied with their marriages. “The problems of the single, divorced and widowed women are more difficult,” an experienced psychiatrist says. “But probably a common denominator in this group is that they feel they are not getting much out of life—not accomplishing as much as they are capable of. This holds for their jobs, studies, social activities, any area of their lives—a general dissatisfaction applies to all of them.” He adds, “In the younger age group, the dominating symptom among the unmarried is likely to be anxiety; in later years, it’s depression.”

    However depressed they may be, most of them continue the frenzied man hunt. …

    One possible sex problem which turns out to be minor among our millions of unattached women is Lesbianism. According to Kinsey, only 13 per cent of all women, married or single, have had an all-out homosexual experience. Among males, the figure is 37 per cent.

    Many widows, divorcees and single women have succeeded despite all obstacles in either finding a man—or in learning to live without one. In the search, many women have come up with a geographical solution. They have gone to the states with a high percentage of available males. There are 24 states where the men still outnumber the women: Alaska, Arizona, California, Colorado, Hawaii, Idaho, Kansas, Kentucky, Michigan, Minnesota, Montana, Nebraska, Nevada, New Mexico, North Dakota, Oregon, South Dakota, Texas, Utah, Virginia, Washington, West Virginia, Wisconsin and Wyoming. …

  36. Jake says

    here is no perfect time to get married or have children, but when men follow through with both, it changes their lives forever. Likewise, when men opt out of becoming husbands and fathers, it can send their lives on a similarly specific trajectory. But life-long bachelors aren’t the video game lovers with a fear of intimacy that movies might have you believe. New research shows that single men lead healthy fulfilling lives that are full of friends, sensitivity, and resilience — something that flies in the face of research that holds up marriage and family as the healthiest option for men.

    Single men are not a bunch of isolated basement dwellers and are significantly more likely than married men to have several close friends. One in eight men report not having any friends at all (and a lot of these men are married with kids), and yet friendships help people live longer lives, stave off cognitive decline, and increase general well-being. Guy friends are a precious public health commodity single men have covered.

    What single men gain in friends, they lose in money, studies show. Men who stay unmarried make anywhere from 10 to 40 percent less than married men. There’s evidence that fathers make up to 21 percent more than men without children, though studies also suggest men with wives and kids work longer hours and put up with more workplace bullshit than single men. Now, this does not mean marriage and parenthood cause financial success (anecdotally, that sure doesn’t sound right). Indeed, other research argues that men are simply more likely to get married and have kids when their income is already rising. Either way, your unmarried, childless friends are probably making less money than you are.

    Marriage reduces the likelihood that men will commit crimes, studies suggest, and data indicates that becoming a father quells criminal impulses even further. In societies with a disproportionate number of men who cannot marry or have children, either as a result of polygamy or uneven sex ratios, we tend to see higher crime rates, higher rates of extremism, and more time at war across the board.

    When men cannot have their own biological children due to fertility problems, they go through a bereavement period and feel a sense of regret, studies show. And when they can’t have children because they can’t find partners, they’re more likely to be judged by others, and more likely to lash out. The perception of being judged for the inability to marry and have kids has stoked the rise of a dangerous group of involuntary celibates or “incels,” a number of whom have orchestrated mass shootings. Married dads are far less likely to feel disenfranchised, at least in this way.

    The good news for bachelors is that scientists are starting to suspect they’ve underestimated the upsides of being alone. Despite warnings of a loneliness epidemic, people who stay single and don’t have children report deeper connections to friends, parents, and other family members, as well as to their work. Single people have a heightened sense of self-determination and are more likely to continue growing as people, one study found. Single people also demonstrate more emotional self-sufficiency, especially when it comes to dealing with negative stuff.

    “The preoccupation with the perils of loneliness can obscure the profound benefits of solitude,” Bella DePaulo, a scientist at the University of California, Santa Barbara, told the American Psychological Association. “It is time for a more accurate portrayal of single people and single life — one that recognizes the real strengths and resilience of people who are single, and what makes their lives so meaningful.”

    More and more men are discovering that solitude has its charm. Tom Leykis has noted that he can go out with women, and he can just luxuriate in his Jacuzzi, and enjoy quiet time. That is pretty nice. Women don’t understand that the drive for men to be married starts dropping, by say the age of 35, for men, and it continues to drop. Men have less and less interest in marriage, as they age. They know more and more about its major disadvantages to them.

  37. Grayson says

    Marriage Rates Are Plummeting

    The median age at first marriage is now 27 for women and 29 for men — up from 20 for women and 23 for men in 1960. Today an unprecedented portion of millennials will remain unmarried through age 40, a recent Urban Institute report predicted. The marriage rate might drop to 70 percent — a figure well below rates for boomers (91 percent), late boomers (87 percent) and Gen Xers (82 percent). And declines might be even sharper if marriage rates recover slowly, or not at all, from pre-recession levels, according to the report.
    Traditional marriage has been on a downward trajectory for generations, but with this group it appears to be in free fall. According to a report released last month by the Pew Research Center, 25 percent of millennials are likely to never be married.

    That would be the highest share in modern history.

    “Not getting married at all could prove tragic,” said Keane, reviewing the economic and social benefits of marriage. Marriage patterns will continue to diverge by education and race, increasing the divides between mostly married “haves” and increasingly single “have-nots,” predicted an internal analysis of the Urban Institute report. Tax rates, eligibility for entitlement programs, and the availability of social safety nets are all altered by marital status, it said. Current marriage trends will make it challenging to develop policies that efficiently target the needs of the growing number of unmarried poor, it said.

    “To me, there are so many things that encourage people to marry for financial reasons,” said Steven Weisman, a lawyer who teaches a class on “Marriage, Separation and Divorce” class at Bentley University, in a Baltimore Sun article. From Social Security to income taxes, married couples benefit economically.
    Research about this trend draws panic on the Internet and tense media coverage. A recent piece in Time Magazine was headlined, “Why 25 percent of millennials will never get married— a new report from Pew Research predicts that more folks under 35 will be single forever.”

    Young couples are opting to live together and put off marriage for later, if at all. About a quarter of unmarried young adults (ages 25 to 34) are living with a partner, according to Pew Research analysis of Current Population Survey data. Marriage has lost much of its social allure, but remains a desired milestone for about 70 percent of millennials. They say they would like to marry, but many — especially those with lower levels of income and education — lack what they deem to be a necessary prerequisite: a solid economic foundation. In contrast to the patterns of the past, when adults in all socio-economic groups married at roughly the same rate, marriage today is more prevalent among those with higher incomes and more education, according to the Pew research.

    In a recent Washington Post opinion piece, Catherine Rampell, a young columnist, argued marriage is desired but simply out of reach for many millennials. “Even as marriage rates have plummeted — particularly for the young and the less educated — Gallup survey data show that young singles very much hope to get hitched. Of Americans age 18 to 34, only about nine percent have both never been married and say they do not ever want to marry,” she wrote. “Although there is now a growing class divide in who gets and stays married in America, there is virtually no divide in the aspiration to marry,” she quoted from an interview with W. Bradford Wilcox, director of the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia.
    “It doesn’t matter if you’re rich or poor, white, black or Hispanic. Most Americans are married or would like to marry. The challenge, then, facing the United States is bridging the gap between the nearly universal aspiration to marry and the growing inability of poor and working-class Americans to access marriage,” said Wilcox.

    That fewer millennials are choosing to marry is also a reflection of modern social attitudes that reject the institution as outdated. It’s time to embrace new ideas about romance and family — and acknowledge the end of traditional marriage as society’s highest ideal, according to Kate Bolick, author of the 2011 Atlantic cover story, “All the Single Ladies,” which sparked a national conversation. Just recently popular comedian Sarah Silverman tweeted, “Why would I want the govt involved in my love life? Ew. It’s barbaric.” Of course, many men considering a love life with her would also say ew.

    Public disenchantment with marriage is reflected in national surveys. Half of American adults believe society is just as well off if people have priorities other than marriage and children, according to the recent Pew report. And opinions on this issue differ sharply by age — with young adults much more likely than older adults to say society is just as well off if people have priorities other than marriage and children. Fully two-thirds of those ages 18 to 29 (67 percent) express this viewpoint, as do 53 percent of those ages 30 to 49. Among those ages 50 and older, most (55 percent) say society is better off if people make marriage and children a priority, Pew found.

    Psychology Today’s Susan Pease Gadoua’s in a recent opinion piece, “Millennials are Changing the Rules on Marriage.” Marriage offers unquestionable benefits, she wrote, but it’s a stale paradigm. “Rather than having only a choice to marry the same old way, or to not marry, let’s get a little imaginative and come up with marital options that would be better suited to a variety of people, including a short-term trial union for younger couples, a child-rearing marriage for those who’d like to be nothing more than co-parents, or a socially acceptable live apart arrangement.”

    A recent article in Time Magazine suggests a beta-marriage in which millennials test-drive their nuptials before jumping into what is supposed to be a lifelong commitment. Margaret Mead, a woman well ahead of her time, threw this notion out in the 1960s; in 2002, journalist and author, Pamela Paul, wrote a book on starter marriages, and; in 2011, Mexico City proposed laws supporting two-year renewable marriage contracts. For men who understand the massive disincentive of divorce settlements, and so on, this might be a way around that. The overall forces of biology, social needs and economics will never let some form of long-term partnership fade away, says Bentley University’s Dean of Arts and Sciences Daniel Everett.
    The definition of marriage has been fluid over time and between cultures, he said. “In American marriages, as they have evolved, the ideal is to marry by mutual consent and build first and foremost a relationship,” said Everett.

    “Among some Amazonian societies, the marriage relationship is first an economic partnership, with clear division of labor, from which a relationship may develop,” he said. “Among more religious societies, such as rural Catholic in southern Mexico, there is some overlap with the Amazonian. And the American rural model is economy first, relationship second, with clear division of labor, and the added sanction of religion.”

    Will the millennial generation usher in a new era that saves American marriage by allowing it to evolve? Radical as it may seem, they just might

    • Tim says

      If it seems like the number of complaints from your female friends about not being able to find a man is growing, we may finally know why. Somewhere between 1979 and 2008, Americans decided it was much less worth it to get hitched: the share of 25- to 39-year-old women who were currently married fell 10 percent among those with college degrees, 15 percent for those with some college, and a full 20 percent for women with a high-school education or less.

      This great American marriage decline—a drop from 72 percent of U.S. adults being wed in 1960 to half in 2014—is usually chalked up to gains in women’s rights, the normalization of divorce, and the like. But it also a lot to do with men. Namely, economic forces are making them less appealing partners, and it ties into everything from China to opioids.

      The most revealing data comes from University of Zurich economist David Dorn. In a 2017 paper with an ominous title (“When Work Disappears: Manufacturing Decline and the Falling Marriage-Market Value of Men”), Dorn and his colleagues crunched the numbers from 1990 to 2014. They found that employability and marriageability are deeply intertwined.

      The flashpoint is a sector of the economy that politicians love to talk about: manufacturing. It used to be a huge slice of the employment pie: In 1990, 21.8 percent of employed men and 12.9 percent of employed women worked in manufacturing. By 2007, it had shrunk to 14.1 and 6.8 percent. These blue-collar gigs were and are special: they pay more than comparable jobs at that education level in the service sector, and they deliver way more than just a paycheck. The jobs are often dangerous and physically demanding, giving a sense of solidarity with coworkers. Not coincidentally, these jobs are also incredibly male-dominated—becoming even more so between 1990 and 2010. But since 1980, a full third of all manufacturing jobs—5 million since 2000—have evaporated, making guys less appealing as husbands.

      Dorn and his colleagues find that when towns and counties lose manufacturing jobs, fertility and marriage rates among young adults go down, too. Unmarried births and the share of children living in single-parent homes go up. Meanwhile, places with higher manufacturing employment have a bigger wage gap between men and women, and a higher marriage rate.

      “On simple financial grounds, the males are more attractive partners in those locations because they benefit disproportionately from having those manufacturing jobs around,” he tells Thrive Global.

      It underscores how in the U.S., the norms around money, marriage, and gender remain—perhaps surprisingly—traditional. Marianne Bertrand, an economist at the University of Chicago’s Booth School of Business, has found a “cliff” in relative income in American marriages at the 50-50 split mark. While there are lots of couples where he earns 55 percent of their combined income, there are relatively few where she makes more than he does.

      While the pay gap is certainly a factor here, Bertrand and her colleagues argue that the asymmetry owes more to traditionalist gender roles and remains a class issue. They reference recent results from the World Values Survey, where respondents were asked how much they agreed with the claim that, ”If a woman earns more money than her husband, it’s almost certain to cause problems.” The results broke along socioeconomic lines: 28 percent of couples where both parties went to at least some college agreed, while 45 percent of couples where neither partner went beyond high school agreed. Spouses tend to be less happy, more likely to think the marriage is in trouble, and more likely to discuss separation if the wife outearns her husband, as well.

      “Either men don’t like their female partners earning more than they do,” Dorn says, or women feel like “if the man doesn’t bring in more money, then he’s an underachiever.”

      As manufacturing jobs are lost, there are also increases to mortality in men aged 18 to 39, Dorn says, with more deaths from liver disease, indicative of alcohol abuse; more deaths from diabetes, related to obesity; and lung cancer, related to smoking—not to mention drug overdoses. (These “deaths of despair” have taken over a million American lives in the past decade.) Ofer Sharone, a sociologist at the University of Massachusetts, has found that while Israelis blame the system when they can’t find a job, Americans see themselves as flawed when they can’t find work, which sounds a lot like perfectionism. And remarkably, half of unemployed men in the U.S. are on some sort of painkiller. Unremarkably, all that makes long-term monogamy less appealing. “This is consistent with the notion that males become less attractive partners because they have less money and start doing drugs,” Dorn says.

      The precarious situation that American men face has a lot to do with the nature of the jobs they’re doing. Germany and Switzerland, which are bleeding manufacturing at a much slower rate, do more precision work (read: watches and cars), which is harder to ship overseas to hand over to robots and algorithms. Traditionally masculine, American blue collar jobs tend toward repetitive tasks, making them easier to replace. (One British estimate predicted that 35 percent of traditionally male jobs in the UK are at high risk of being automated, compared with 26 percent of traditionally female jobs.) There’s a race to automate trucking, a traditionally male role, but not so much nursing.

      And the working-class jobs that a re being added tend toward what’s traditionally taken to be “women’s work.” Care-oriented jobs like home-care aides continue to go up—a trend that’s only going to continue as America gets older and boomers move into retirement. These are not trends that add to the marketability of guys. “The lack of good jobs for these men is making them less and less attractive to women in the marriage market, and women, with their greater earnings, can do fine remaining single,” says Bertrand, the Chicago economist. “For gender identity reasons, these men may not want to enter into marriages with women who are dominating them economically, even if this would make economic sense to them.”

      So what’s a man to do within change like this? Dorn recommends, if one is able, to specialize in areas that are harder to automate—jobs that require problem-solving and creativity. But those jobs also often require more education. Then comes the much woolier, complex issue of gender norms. There are individual choices to be made at a personal level for men to take on traditionally feminine work, or for heterosexual couples to settle on a situation where the wife brings home the bacon. But these individual choices don’t happen in a vacuum—they’re necessarily informed by the broader culture.

      “Traditional masculinity is standing in the way of working-class men’s employment,” Johns Hopkins sociologist Andrew Cherlin said in an interview. “We have a cultural lag where our views of masculinity have not caught up to the change in the job market.” (This was captured in a recent New York Times headline: “Men Don’t Want to Be Nurses. Their Wives Agree.”) Parents and educators will play the biggest role in teaching more gender neutral attitudes regarding who belongs in the home and who belongs in the marketplace, Bertrand says. And eventually, she adds, gender norms “will adjust to the new realities” that are already present in the economy: women are getting better educations and are more employable, and the work opportunities that are growing are—for now—thought to be feminine.

      Fascinating article. Basically they are saying men are screwed. Great message. Very encouraging.

  38. Bridget says

    WHO killed or is killing marriage and the family?

    Tucker Carlson blames, to some extent, the market and its disruption of the male wage. Yes, this is a factor. Conservatives have always had an uneasy relationship with the free market and capitalism as the free market is the great disruptor. This is why conservatives take what is sacred out of the market completely – some things are not for sale. However, for everything else the market is the best way to organise economic activity in particular because it protects liberty and property rights. Trying to control the market in a heavy-handed manner usually leads to more harm than good.

    David French and Ben Shapiro put a premium on individual responsibility over ‘structural inequalities’ that the market may or not generate. If conservatism is to mean anything it must mean taking responsibilities for your actions. Belinda Brown has set out how feminism has attacked the nuclear family and the male breadwinner for decades. For the feminists, only by destroying both could women be free – from men at least. They are still dependent on men in terms of the State. And as men pay a disproportionate amount of tax they contribute far more to the welfare state that sustains the ‘independent’ single woman than women as whole.

    There is no quibble from this website as to the damage feminism has wreaked on the relations between men and women, between mothers and children and the family as a while. But it is not solely the fault of either feminism or the market. The reduction and sometimes the collapse of the male wage does of course have an impact on marriage rates. However, there is some evidence that even in areas and towns in the US that enjoyed isolated increases in male employment and wages the marriage rate did not increase. Women had more children with these men – but they still didn’t get married. Further this does not explain why middle-class women and men continue to get married, even though middle-class women no longer need a male breadwinner as they earn enough to go it alone.

    Further still, this wage/marriageable men link is a chicken and egg debate. If a man wants to get married he knows he must earn a decent wage. In fact, arguably the increase in female employment should take some pressure off him, as he no longer has to be the sole earner or even out-earn his female partner but he does have to earn a decent wage. Therefore, if he really wants to wed, if he wants to ‘be in a position to get married’, then this should act as a huge motivation to enter employment and start increasing his wage – something that is still possible in both the UK and US. What this really boils down to is that marriage must be a value that a man, and indeed a woman, must have if they want to get married. It might sound obvious but not everyone does see marriage as a value. The market is completely neutral on marriage – it doesn’t care. I accept, of course, that feminism has relentlessly attacked marriage although many feminists do finally succumb and get married themselves, but it is not solely to blame.

    Marriage was a very strong societal value 50 years ago but is much less so now. The collapse in religion (all the main religions value marriage, and Catholicism gives it sacramental value), has certainly contributed to the drop-off in marriage. However, individuals can still decide to make marriage a value for themselves. Further, families and communities have a huge influence on whether their children see marriage as a value.
    So let me go full matriarch here. I have seen a fair few weddings in my time. I have attended the Catholic ultra-traditional wedding, I have attended the modern feminist wedding where the bride kept her own name after marriage. I have attended a Muslim wedding, although sadly I have yet to attend my first Jewish wedding.

    I have heard of proposals in parks, proposals in Paris, I have heard of proposals that never happened even though the groom had bought a ring. I know of men who have dated a girlfriend for years only to propose to another girl a few weeks after meeting her. And it all comes down to one eternal truth: men do what they want to do.

    If men want to get married they propose and get married, if they don’t want to get married, they don’t get married. It really is that simple.

    The same men, the same working-class men many conservative commentators would have us believe are marriage-shy and can’t afford it, are often exactly the same men who spend inordinate amounts of time, money and energy following a football team around the country, crying when they lose and often also crying when they win. This is because they value their football team – they are loyal to this team and they see it as a duty to support it. So don’t tell me these men couldn’t get married if they wanted to. They could, but they **just don’t want to.**

    Now it is around this time where some of the men will come out of the woodwork and say – screw you, Perrins! Why should I get married in this system where I could be divorced in a blink of an eye, and lose my kids and house etc? And anyway there are no decent women to get married to. And my reply is – fine. If that is your opinion, fine, but you are proving my point: you will not get married because you don’t want to get married. You do not value it. So there we have it. Are there forces aligned against marriage? Yes, of course: the tax system, the government, the feminists, and others. Ultimately, however, we are not tools of the feminists any more than we are tools of the patriarchy. Everyone is a free moral agent.

    If you value marriage, then find someone suitable (preferably someone who has a similar value system to you) and get married. If you don’t value marriage, then don’t.

  39. Rory says

    Promoting women to meet quotas, favoring girls and women in colleges, and open discrimination against men, which restricted the pool of husbands, wasn’t a problem- until the women started noticing that husbands weren’t available.

    Marriage is a lot of work, for men. They have to defer rewards, put up with a lot of bitching, and so on, a high risk of asset theft, and denial of visitation for children. Married men do work more, and harder, than do single men. Married men used to see a light at the end of the tunnel. Society has turned off that light, now. So, yes, a lot of men are going Galt, and MGTOW. Women only want the top tier of men, anyway. I had a friend in high school. His dad was a veteran of WW II, and worked in a grocery store. His mother was a housewife, and I think had a part-time job. They were married in 1945. They had one kid- my friend. He maxed the SAT’s. He tested off the charts, and got scholarships that were incredible. Different generation. They paid about $8,000 for their house, I think, about 1949. Yes, they owned a house. You could do that, back then, before DINK [double income, no kids] couples started bidding up houses

    Nowadays, a guy like my friend would have grown up emotionally scarred, in a single parent household, and had nowhere near the opportunities. Let us recall that women created this prospective husband shortage. But then, the worst enemies of women have always been other women. Women cut each other down cruelly- as women tell me. Female employees where I work hate their female supervisors, with a passion, because they usually act like sociopaths. Even when I was in college, we’d hear stories about women, in their later 30’s, whose “biological clocks” were ticking, anxiously seeking spouse material, with little to no luck. The time to be in the spouse market is when you are at your peak, not in your decline. Study the fruit displays, in the supermarket. The freshest fruit has the highest price. As it transitions, the price gets lower, and in time, they can’t even sell it.

    But you are talking statistics. Let’s talk about quality. The quality of women as potential wives has been diving, since the 1960’s. Women today know how to spend money, but they don’t know how to run a household. They haven’t learned to raise children. They claim to be “as good as any man”, but they don’t know the basic tasks of either husbands, or wives. Farming out basic household tasks is not cheap, not at all. The basic skills taught to girls, in my mother’s generation, were many and varied. My mother knew basic carpentry. She could fix holes in drywall. She was great on a sewing machine. She had her own toolbox. She could repair a broken window. She could do basic repairs on a washing machine, or dryer. She knew how to prep a wall, and paint it. She broke out plaster walls, with tools, preparatory to drywalling them. She could and did fix her parents’ radio, as a kid. She knew how to bake, and could cook without a recipe. She knew how to change a tire. She knew how to bake bread, and her bread was vastly superior to store bought. My father had his tools, also. Both were highly literate, and capable of reasoning out solutions that worked. Both had advanced degrees. My father had more than 400 college credits, or equivalents. Today? I see people, adults, and I wonder how they survive. And women seem to know less each passing year. My mother knew how to cut a butterfly bandage, and do basic first aid. Women nowadays just start shrieking at the sight of blood. My parents use to say TV makes people stupid. I have to agree.

  40. Bob says

    I remember when I first started seeing men portrayed as buffoons, on TV. It was an episode of The Partridge Family. The women/girls knew everything about camping. The men knew nothing. I knew from experience that this was total BS.

    I tapered off, watching TV, just like it was a drug. And then I went TV free. I felt really wonderful, peaceful, nowhere near as conflicted as before. I slept better. It was even better than cutting alcohol out of my life. I can get up at 6 AM on a Saturday, and take a walk. Or, as one person told me- TV stands for Time Vaster (waster). Harlan Ellison calls it the glass teat/tit. And he’s right. It is turning our nation into a nation of neotenous brats.

    The main plot of the soap operas so many women are addicted to, is some nasty manipulative woman, who is messing up people’s lives, has four men who want to marry her, and she’s playing head games with them. Single moms eat this stuff up. Which is why Tom Leykis says you can date a single mom- wine her, dine her, run her through all the gears, do some wheelies, and get her home, to her subsidized housing- and if you marry her, she will consume you alive, and expect you to pay to raise the bad boy’s kids. No, she’s married to the government, in the feminist dream community, with all taxpaying men paying her child support. Some time in her late 30’s, she realizes she can get a man for the weekend, but can’t get a ring. She tends to get bitter then, but the bad boys who play with women like that have more prospects than they can bed. It’s sad- for the kids. I coached a guy who grew up in that kind of housing, for several years, he was seeking guidance from any adult male he could find. He later said I did more for him, than his father ever did. How sad. Many black and Hispanic women in this situation, are actually nice people, with good hearts. And the grannies and aunts who would have coached them into a better situation, in the old days, aren’t around so much, any more.

  41. Evelyn says

    Yamaoka Tesshu, as a young student of Zen, visited one master after another. He called upon Dokuon of Shokoku. Desiring to show his attainment, he said: “The mind, Buddha, and sentient beings, after all, do not exist. The true nature of phenomena is emptiness. There is no realization, no delusion, no sage, no mediocrity. There is no giving and nothing to be received.” Dokuon, who was smoking quietly, said nothing. Suddenly he whacked Yamaoka with his bamboo pipe. This made the youth quite angry. “If nothing exists,” inquired Dokuon, “where did this anger come from?”

    A feminist went to visit an old woman. She said, “Marriage is patriarchal slavery. It has no meaning, it is only opression. Women should just never get married, and live their lives without men. Men are worthless. I hate men. You should have never married your husband, and just gone your own way.” The old woman thought for a second, and said, “I got a letter from my daughter, today. She has a year old child, with her husband. She wrote a letter to me, telling me she never knew she could love any being as much as she loves her husband- until her child was born. She said she never knew how much we, our parents, loved her, until she had her own child, and felt love for that child flowing through her like a waterfall.” The old woman smiled, from her heart. Looking at the feminist, she said, “You know, my husband is gone now. We didn’t always have an easy relationship. He was often sick. We couldn’t always pay the bills. I spent most of my waking time taking care of family, the house, the part-time job I had. If I put all the good times I had with him together, it was probably not more than 24 hours.” The feminist said, “So why didn’t you just leave him?” The old woman smiled again, and said, “My good times with him were like the paprika I put, when I cook rice. A pinch of Paprika makes the entire dish taste better. And I would give anything I have, to have just 24 hours with my husband, again. Just 24 hours. With all of his faults.” She smiled again, and the tears flowed from her eyes. The feminist walked away, convinced that the old woman was crazy.

  42. Faye says

    Two people are lost in the desert. They are dying from hunger and thirst. Finally, they come to a high wall. On the other side they can hear the sound of a waterfall and birds singing. Above, they can see the branches of a lush tree extending over the top of the wall. Its fruit look delicious. One of them manages to climb over the wall and disappears down the other side. The other, instead, returns to the desert to help other lost travelers find their way to the oasis.

    You are the second of these people, Suzanne.

  43. John says

    Let us imagine a man, who wants to do military service. It might be infantry, as a sailor, or it might be for Special Ops. What is the optimum age, to enter the military? I would say 22, with some college. You can go in at 17, but it’s not as much fun. The Army used to never accept officer candidates over 30, or people who wanted to join, over the age of 35. Military service can be stressful, really stressful. It helps to have a younger body. So, a guy who puts off, and puts off, joining up, will find that getting into the military is “elusive”. A guy who is overweight, in bad health, an arrest record, drug use, is going to find that military service is “elusive”.

    So, a woman who is overweight, has moods, bad health, an arrest record, drug use, an alcohol problem, lots of experience with bad boys, toxins from cosmetics stored around her liver, and so on, who wants to be married, may indeed find that candidates are “elusive”, in precisely the same way. Flowers are much more desirable at their peak, not when they are fading.
    I notice that surfers carefully time when they hit the waves, to be successful. Is seeking a lifetime partner really any different?

  44. Gabrielle Seunagal says

    Telling women to “aim lower?”

    That’s terrible advice. There’s nothing wrong female ambition or a woman being career-oriented…and there’s also nothing wrong with a woman not wanting kids.

    YIKES!

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