5 Reasons Men Should Avoid Casual Sex, Too

Last week I wrote an article entitled “Ladies, Stop Trying to Have Sex Like a Man.” In it, I wrote that the birth control pill may keep women from getting pregnant, but it can’t do a thing about female nature.

A woman’s unique sexual psychology isn’t designed for hookups. The oxytocin that floods her body causes her to get attached whether she intends to or not. This is true even for sexually liberal women.

Men are different. They have oxytocin, too, but a much smaller amount—and are thus more capable of detaching after a hookup. That this is true, however, doesn’t mean men should take advantage of this fact. Nor does it necessarily mean they’ll walk away unscathed.

Here are 5 reasons why men should avoid uncommitted sex, too:

  1. She will likely get attached, and you won’t. As a man, you may not be interested in having a relationship—and she may tell you she isn’t either. But whether she’s telling the truth or not, the chances of her wanting something more after the fact is huge. You and she are not sexual equals.
  2. She may accuse you of sexual misconduct afterward, even if it was she who initiated the sex. Let’s face it: In the age of #Metoo, you just can’t afford to sleep with women you don’t know extremely well. As one astute commenter of my article wrote:

    “The reality is that in so many cases where we have facts because of law suits following a Title IX kangaroo court, the women clearly wanted a relationship when she was giving herself away immediately. In case after case, her texts are explicit and clear and her follow-up texts are just as clear, that she felt used, even when it was her who initiated the “casual hook-up.” She was unaware that it is difficult to get from what she did to what she wanted, that the boy may not have ever been that “in to her,” just wanting to enjoy the physical act. Then, in case after case, a college advocate, a feminist advisor or professor convinces the woman that any intercourse or physicality that she regrets later is a crime and that the man who was an equal participant, not an aggressor, needs to be punished. The man is often then pilloried, his good name ruined, booted out of college, his reputation in tatters and all for a completely consensual “hook-up” that the female half of the equation regretted or became angry about later, often it seems because it didn’t lead to a lasting relationship.”

  3. If she’s older, she might tell you she’s using birth control when she’s not bc she wants a baby—and then bam, all of the sudden you’re a dad. With so many women postponing marriage indefinitely, many get desperate for a baby in their thirties and will use a man to get the sperm they need. Your entire life can be ruined by a simple roll in the hay. Don’t let it happen to you.
  4. It’s wrong to use someone for personal gain. This really should be the first on the list, honestly. No one should ever “use” anyone. It’s wrong, pure and simple. And you will likely feel badly for doing so.
  5. You should respect women even when they don’t respect themselves. As a culture, we hail (as we should) the man who refrains from taking advantage of a woman when she’s drunk. In the vast majority of cases, women who engage in one-night stands are drunk. That they may come on to you under such circumstances doesn’t give you license to take advantage of them. Always treat a woman the same way you would if she were sober: with respect.

There’s a simple solution to not landing in any one of the above scenarios: never go to bed with a woman you don’t love deeply and know extremely well. To do so is to play with fire.

Suzanne Venker

Suzanne Venker is an author, columnist and relationship coach known as The Feminist "Fixer.” She helps free women from feminist lies so they can find lasting love with men. Suzanne's newest book, WOMEN WHO WIN at Love: How to Build a Relationship That Lasts, will be published October 2019.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. There are other reasons to avoid the casual lay. There are venereal diseases that aren’t curable, for example. The media doesn’t talk about them, because they promote casual sex. Having sex with someone does mean mixing your energies with theirs. If you see a couple that has had a loving relationship for years, you see that they each take on the other’s energy. Seeing sex as a purely physical act is a perception. It is a very inadequate perception. Americans, particularly, are very materialistic, and ignore the spiritual, the energy, side of life. I saw 10’s in college, that turned my stomach, that made me feel like vomiting. I could feel their energy. A 10 who hates herself, hates men, hates the world, has some nasty energy, that you get a dose of, when you even just talk to her. Having sex with someone means you open up your entire energy field to them. You pick up all their emotional trash. Test this. Spend about a half hour in a good meditation, say in nature, near a stream, or where you can hear the breeze in the trees. Get really open to energy, open up your heart. Feel the joy of being a part of the larger spiritual system. Now enter a singles bar. It feels really, really bad, doesn’t it? I can’t enter such bars. i feel sick to my stomach. I have dealt with women I knew to be prostitutes. I don’t criticize them, I don’t make their choices for them. I will say that I cannot imagine mixing my energies with theirs. Feminists are just painful to be near, I have to stay away from them. They are painful just in their presence, even before they talk. I know more than a few men who simply do not seek out casual sex, at all. It has no value to them. In today’s hypersexualized world, they don’t boast of this. Even when I was in the military, the majority of single men didn’t go to the clubs, or bars. The men who did go to the bars were usually divorced, had their hearts broken, and had scar tissue on their hearts. The men of my family have a very simple rule. If we can’t imagine ourselves married to a woman, we do not have sex with her. Just as you say, Suzanne, technology fails, the woman “forgot” to take the pill, whatever. When i was in college, I simply wanted to speak with women, to learn, to explore the early phases of a relationship. I wasn’t after sex, I had an education to finish. I had trouble finding this. The women were too busy playing with alpha bad boys.

  2. Hell hath no fury like that of a woman scorned.
    The Sun hath no light like that of a woman beloved.

    Young man, would ye plant your seed
    Plant it not, where grows the weed
    Till your plot, with smiles, and love
    And rain shall come, from up above

    A plant, beloved, grows strong, and green
    A plant without your care, grows lean
    Would ye seek a bounteous harvest
    You must in the Spring, invest

    Cast not your seed, where grows the thorn
    Lest pain in thy heart, be full born
    Love is like a gentle rain
    that brings to the farmer, gain

    Would ye have a loving wife
    Fill her with love, all your life

  3. Here is some ancient advice, on this subject. No endorsement of religion is implied.
    It is interesting to see what parents taught their children, centuries ago. This is a mother speaking, to her son.

    Listen, my son! Listen, son of my womb! Listen, my son, the answer to my prayers!
    Spend your strength on women, your vigor on those who ruin kings.
    It is not for kings to drink wine, not for rulers to crave beer, lest they drink and forget what has been decreed, and deprive all the oppressed of their rights.
    Let beer be for those who are perishing, wine for those who are in anguish!
    Let them drink and forget their poverty and remember their misery no more.
    Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute.
    Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy.

    Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character

    A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.
    Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.
    She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.
    She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.
    She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.
    She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants.
    She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
    She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.
    She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.
    In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
    She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.
    When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
    She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
    She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.
    [All clothing was spun, and handmade, at the time this was written.]
    She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.
    She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
    [Women of my mother’s generation were often like this]
    She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
    Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:
    “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.”
    Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting.
    Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

    Arab Proverbs:
    If someone says If someone says “There is a wedding ceremony in the clouds,” then the women would soon arrive with their ladders.

    Four things come not back. The spoken word, the sped arrow, the past life, and the neglected opportunity.

    The devil tempts all men, but idle men tempt the devil.

    The tree of silence bears the fruit of peace.

    All mankind is divided into three classes: those that are immovable, those that are movable, and those that move.

    When you have spoken the word, it reigns over you. When it is unspoken you reign over it.

    A wise man’s day is worth a fool’s life.

    The whisper of a pretty girl can be heard further than the roar of a lion.

    When danger approaches, sing to it.

    Heaven is at the feet of Mothers.

    A man profits more by the sight of an idiot than by the orations of the learned.

    The words of tongue should have three gate keepers: Truth, Kindness, and Utility.

  4. There is no such thing as casual sex. From a Hawaiian point of view, anyone you touch, you are connected to with an aka thread, of energy. Anyone you have sex with, you have a massive aka connection to. Which is why spouses feel each other’s energy. Men, and women, think, oh yes, here we are, this is just a casual encounter. I found a woman, once, that did a lot for me. I was on training, and I was the alpha male of the course. She was divorced, lost custody of her child. Well, she was fantastic, I was on fire. There was only one small problem. She was very, very alcoholic. She had much pain to self-medicate for. Extrication wasn’t that easy. I couldn’t just reject her, she definitely had the character to take a nasty revenge. I had to disassemble her image of me as an alpha male, and become a beta. I had to hack away at the aka connections, as if I was cutting jungle vines with a machete. It took a while. Finally she broke it off. It was for the best. She needed to resolve her alcohol and emotional issues.

    Sex can result in children. Children are a long term obligation. Outsiders don’t understand what this involves. I have a daughter, a wonderful daughter. We took her to a swimming hole. She loved it. Emotion is not easy to communicate in words. I’ll try.

    In a stream, my daughter wades
    In the Sun, and forest glades
    Laughing, she sounds like a bird
    Gurgling in her every word
    Pure happiness, she lives in moment
    Chortling joy, her only comment
    The quiet chorus, of the water
    Holds the laughter of my daughter
    Though she seems a flowerbud
    She had her first monthly blood
    Oh dear God, help me to guide her
    To her most outstanding future
    I see the Sun, through spring green trees
    And smell the fragrant, new spring breeze

    When you see your child, born, something in your guts is also born. You now have a connection with a living being, that cannot see, speak, walk, or otherwise take care of itself. It trusts you enough to come to you. When my daughter was born, the feeling realization that I couldn’t do stupid things any more came to me- she was dependent on me. Her first words came. The first day of school is another major transition. Somebody bullies her, and you figure out a way to help her. He was the biggest kid in her class, so you showed her how to do a Judo sidestep, to trip him, when he comes to bother her. She does it, he comes up swinging, and the teachers see him and pull him out. He has no credibility- he is the biggest kid in the class, she is small, and female. You pay for her piano lessons. Her first date is a transition, you worry about the guy she’s with. You explain to her the dangers of sex, of people who have been drinking, drugs, and so on. You broke up with her mother, who is insane, and you have to help your precious child deal with all the BS her mother tells her, and not insult her mother, and somehow resolve the disharmony. Somehow you do it. You let her go with her friends, to the state fair, worrying. She trusts you, and you know you can’t abuse her trust, so when she tells you who among her classmates is doing drugs, who is having sex with whom, who has a drinking problem, and so on, you can’t share it. And the harshest discipline is that she doesn’t listen to you. She copies your behavior. She graduates from high school. She totals your car. And learns that actions come with consequences. She goes to college. You do all you can for her. She graduates. She gets her first job. She has some complaints. You loan her money because she didn’t understand that credit cards need to be paid off monthly. She has her first fiancé, who turns out to be a royal bas..rd. She’s smart enough to dump him early. She gets married, to a great guy. She has her first kid, and you see that first kid, and the whole Lion King circle of life kicks in. And what you see here is only words, which do not communicate the great emotion of you guiding this precious extension of yourself- and that is what it feels like. You feel her pain, and her joy. And you hug those grandkids. I am an artist. None of the art I’ve created even comes 10% of the art of raising a child to adulthood. It is the most demanding martial art, or spiritual art, available for personal growth. And now that I know all this, will I ever take a risk with some woman who has so little self-esteem that she would sleep with some guy, without knowing him very well? No thanks. Married or not, 9 or 10, no thanks. I see single moms, who were not warned about the bad boys. They have a load they will never give up. They seek male support, but mostly they don’t get it. Men fear them, and with reason. I understand both sides. There is a reason every single culture on the face of the earth has some kind of committed relationship structure, for parents. It works. Nothing else works.

  5. Love isn’t a state of perfect caring… To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now. –Fred Rogers

    Some of us experience disappointment over love- because we’ve not correctly defined it. We expect things to happen that don’t happen, and are surprised about what does happen. If we realize that love cannot be a joyride all the time, but rather a journey, it’s easier.

    We don’t love someone because they’re perfect. No-one is perfect. They may seem perfect, in the first thrill of connection. Until perception deepens. Then the spiritual challenge is to continue to love them, as they are. This is just as true of children, parents, friends and significant others. It hurts to see them get hurt and make mistakes, when they are stubborn and contentious, when they do and say foolish things. It hurts when they fail and suffer.

    The major lesson in life is agency- taking over the reins of self, and changing ourselves, rather than trying and failing to change others. Life offers to tools necessary to love others: patience, perseverance, humility, grace, loyalty, trustworthiness, reliability, honesty, kindness, open mind, open heart, discipline, forgiveness, responsibility, even temper, courage, attentiveness, optimism, balance, and appreciation. Our interactions with our loved ones are a daily school, to help use learn to cultivate these very important qualities in ourselves.

    Most people do not notice how loved ones have changed us. We wait until a person dies or moves away to realize what a big impact they have had on us, how they changed our lives. A good gratitude discipline is to appreciate the positive ways that our loved ones have affected us. Most people have had others who loved them into being. Who are the people who have helped you become who you are? A basket is not strong because of its individual elements. A basket is strong because of the relationships of the individual elements.

    -Fred Rogers, of Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood.

    He wore sweaters, because his arms were covered in tattoos. He was a marine, in WW II, in some of the worst fighting. He came back from that wanting to help the world heal. He did a good job of that.

    Casual sex is like casual military service in a combat zone, with IED’s around. In short, it ain’t.

  6. “You should respect women even when they don’t respect themselves. As a culture, we hail (as we should) the man who refrains from taking advantage of a woman when she’s drunk. In the vast majority of cases, women who engage in one-night stands are drunk. That they may come on to you under such circumstances doesn’t give you license to take advantage of them. Always treat a woman the same way you would if she were sober: with respect.”

    Why? Why in any way at all, should women be given an ounce more respect than men?

    I am totally surprised Susan that you are peddling this gynocentric slavery of men, demanding that no matter what their circumstances, they must observe the traditions of chivalry, which we all know is only a construct of slavery to men. It is intrinsically evil and has no place in this world. It is indeed anti-Christian, because it places men at the feet of women, meaning that women are gods when compared to men. This is a mortal sin….a breach of one of the Ten Commandments. Women are not above men and should also never be treated like ignorant, naive or innocent children. What you and the establishment espouse is lunacy and also discriminatory against men.

    Men going down on one knee to pledge fealty to a woman when asking her hand in marriage is a mortal sin. I have instructed all my sons to never commit such a terrible sin.

    There is an old saying I read somewhere on the internet years ago, but don’t know where and it goes something like this, ‘You look at your peers (meaning brothers and sisters) in the eyes; you bow before your king, but you only ever bend at the knee before The Lord your God!’

    Susan, women deserve absolutely nothing more than men do. Women who behave in this manner deserve all that comes there way, just the same as men who behave this way. Society, has never cared about men at all, when it comes to drunken behaviour, except to punish them for their misdeeds. If a man and a woman are under the influence and she goes after him for sex, then it is purely sex. NOT RAPE! She has no right to complain and is 100% at fault and to blame for her own situation and he has 0% responsibility for her decision. He is 100% responsible for his situation and she has 0% responsibility for him too.

    She deliberately set out to get lubricated and chase down some guy for sex. This is what usually happens, and then they wake up and find that the guy they ended up with, was not really what they wanted or he isn’t interested in her for a relationship at all, then she cries rape. That particular woman/girl should be locked up in prison for at least 10 years for making a false allegation of rape.

    It’s time people like you and all others, who claim to be human rights advocates and who claim to be against this man hating evil that feminism is, to start being truthful and start telling women to grow a spine and grow up. Tell them to stop blaming men, just because he didn’t want a relationship with her. It’s her fault she had sex, not his. If she doesn’t want these situations to occur, there is one very easy fix.

    Don’t go out man hunting for sex, after you have charged yourself up with a few drinks to get dutch courage. Don’t drop your knickers and spread your legs for anyone, except the man you are going to marry. And don’t dress like a slut, which is what most women do. They are advertising that they are whores and men who are of that mindset, will disrespect whores and any women that look like them, which unfortunately today, is most.

    • Syd, I do all of these things re telling women t “grow up and treat men right.” This just happened to be a post for men. I argue for both men and women to treat each other with respect. And we’ll have to agree to disagree about the fact that I believe people should treat other people w respect reGARDless of how the people themselves behave.

      • Hi Suzzanne,

        I don’t disagree with you on the equal respect issue. It it time to stop telling men to respect women no matter what these women do. If women are supposed to be every bit the same as men, then why is there ever any need to give any quarter to women over and above men?
        There is none!

        It is time for full equal human rights, which means stripping women of all the privileges they currently have over men and bringing them down to the same level men are at, which is where we have always been. Western Culture is crumbling before our eyes, because of these undeserved privileges that women have. We cannot sustain them any longer!

        Throughout all human history, both men and women had certain responsibilities that insured the development and survival of our societies around the globe. Feminism and the idiot males who gave way to them, have given women permission to shake off that very important yoke from around their necks, but at the same time feminists, their male supporters and virtually all other women, have demanded that all men keep that traditional yoke, plus take on the yoke that the women have dropped.

        This has to change now, before it gets too late, which I am afraid it almost is when it comes to the relations between the sexes.

        There is one other comment I would like to make if I may?

        You made a comment about women having sex like men. And I believe you were referring to the responsibility of it, but I do know your comment is much more nuanced than that and I appreciate it. However, there is this lie that has been peddled by feminists and many other women, which has also not been helped by idiot males who like to brag, that the majority of men ‘play the field’ prior to settling down and have done this since the dawn of time.

        Well, this is inherently false. Women are the gate keepers to sex. Always have been. Men cannot play any field without some woman dropping her knickers and spreading her legs. So just in that crude sense, the fact is men and women play the field as much as each other.

        Secondly, there is no evidence anywhere that is truthful, that will show the majority of men getting access to sex prior to marriage in generations of the past and I would believe it to not be that different today.

        Being a man myself, I can tell you that the largest proportion of the men I grew up with and worked with over many decades, never had sex with any female outside of the woman they ended up marrying, save for in their imaginations. The problem is, a lot of men will say they have sex when they haven’t, because they will be shamed if they say they were a virgin and they will get that from women just as much as men.

        It is a misnomer to suggest that the majority of men have had sex when single prior to committing to a marriage/defacto marriage.

        Anyway, thank you for the work you do. I am not here to criticise you, because you do good work. I’m just trying to point out that we need to kill off the chivalrous form of gynocentrism that has seen the destruction of countless lives of men over generations and that has now been weaponised by feminists and is being used today to further destroy many more men. Case in point, that wicked #MeToo movement.

        • My apologies. Just realised that I have misspelled your name for a second time. And I read it over several times, but still didn’t see the double z. Sheesh!

        • True. The vast majority of men don’t have much sex, outside of marriage, if any. They are betas. And they know it. The alpha bad boys have it handed to them on a fleshy platter, more than they can keep up with. Ride a commuter bus, you’ll see lots of them.
          Most male college students don’t get any, or if any, very little. They won’t admit it, but it’s true. So the chimera of massive sexual experience feminists chase is a lie. That’s not the only lie they tell.

      • It is however a question of asserting that women should be adult. If she wants casual sex, are you taking advantage, or are you accommodating. Have you ever been around when a woman is told no? Have you had the experience of a woman trying to get you drunk – so you would sleep with her? It is that this is not really always a question of taking advantage- but not earning their ire. The reality is, that it is long past time – that women be expected to be adults in this area. While men have good reason to avoid a drunk women – I have heard of men accused of rape – because they refused to have sex.

        Also – respect should be earned, and there are women who do not deserve it- drunk or sober – just as there are men. There are women who press the reality of being the protected gender – and the fact that they are given free reign. I would suggest that more broadly, men simply avoid situations where women might be seeking sex more generally – drunk or not.

    • There is one easy way to deal with drunk women who seek sex. Evade. Get away from them. Do your own wash and spin dry cycle, at home, at least you’ll be with someone you love. Let them crucify someone else. As for feminists, see them as the vicious predators they are, and go low profile, just as animals do when predators are around.

  7. The only people really promoting respect in the USA, now, are Native American elders. There is a reason for this. Many Americans are extremely materialistic people. There is an interplay between spirit and matter, or energy and matter. Energy is potential. It is Yin. It is Goddess, to use an old term, such as Uli in the Hawaiian tradition, or the Holy Spirit, if you like a somewhat newer one. It is the Quantum Field, if you like scientific terminology. Energy is 99.999999% of what is. Look at astronomical distance. Planets and Suns occupy a very tiny part of a vast, empty space. Matter is metaphorically like a tiny island, poking up in a vast sea of energy.

    The two work together. The conscious mind, that deals with matter, can deal with up to eight pieces of information at a given time. The subconscious mind, which moves energy, can deal with 60 million bits of information, at a time. The conscious mind makes choices. The subconscious mind follows the lead of the conscious mind. An old analogy is that the horses are the subconscious mind, the carriage is the body, and the driver is the conscious mind.

    Our mass media are totally focused on the material. They ignore the spiritual, the energy side of life. They treat you as a manipulable side of beef, to get money out of you. Their sole purpose is to sell you products, which they do by depressing you, giving you unrealistic expectations, and filling your mind with garbage. Beer, as originally made, in Sumer, was a very nutritious soup, with lots of B vitamins. Beer as it is now is not very useful. We see alcohol ads on TV, with models, playing and happy. The reality of alcohol is broken dreams, throwing up, sick. Alcohol is what Americans use to self-medicate their pain. The pain they have is separation from the spirit. Or, the thirst for spirits is an unfocused search for the spirit.

    I don’t like being around people who drink alcohol. They feel horrible, act stupid, and are caricatures of themselves, when drunk. Some of them appear to be possessed by something that is not them. My father got very drunk, when I was nine, and something else was behind his eyes, something evil, something that struck me with great fear, deep in my being. Sleep with a drunk woman? Are you kidding? I don’t want to be the same room, no, not even in the same house, with her. I don’t want to see people at their worst. If a sober woman isn’t interested in me, I surely don’t want anything to do with her when she’s drunk. Why is she drinking? She feels empty. She seeks the spirit she saw on TV, of people interacting, and having fun together. She seeks connection. Only when we are connected, are we truly alive- Kahlil Gibran. And she consults her bank of images- oh, yes, the way to do that, is to get drunk. She saw it on TV, so it must be real.

    Americans are lonely. They want real friends, people they can have deep conversations with, people who support them, and listen when they have pain to drain. They want the flow that comes from connection. And they get ambushed by vicious sociopaths, which makes it worse. One thing I notice when I travel overseas is that most people are much, much more connected than Americans are, and they have fewer addicts. Though American ideas are spreading, as addiction spreads.

    Suzanne, what you say makes total sense- in a *****spiritual****** context. It comes off as random meaningless stuff, in a materialistic context. Religion and spirituality can overlap, but they are not the same thing. I won’t ever have sex with a drunk woman. Ever. I don’t care if she makes a Playboy bunny look ugly, I’m not interested. I don’t want to be around that low grade energy. I don’t know who you are, till I know who your friends are. You exchange energy with the people you are around- unless you know how to seal yourself off, and Americans don’t. Lie down with dogs, and you wake up with fleas. He who runs with wolves soon learns to howl. Though wolves are far more civilized than humans. How many alcoholic wolves are there? Native Americans of North America say they learned how to live, from wolves, just as Eskimos say they learned to hunt, and build houses, by watching polar bears.

    You are right on the money with this respect thing, Suzanne. Respect is the ***Center**** of the circle of community, this was on another blog of yours. Respect is the heart of community. Where there is no respect, there is no community, there are only animated hunks of meat. As Native American elders say, respect leads to rapport, which leads to trust. From trust grows communication. This becomes cooperation. Cooperation is how humans survive. A military unit is a super-entity, of cooperation, a group organism. Veterans miss the community they had, in the military, because our communities are very dysfunctional- disconnected. What does the media model? Gross, criminal disrespect. Disrespect has blowback. When you run a lot of disrespect for others, through your energy field, you start resonating to disrespect, yourself. And you disrespect yourself. Americans have little respect for themselves, especially women who get drunk.

    Bill W., a founder of Alcoholics Anonymous, went to Dr. Carl Jung, and asked how he could stop his drinking of alcohol. Jung said he had no idea, but he did know that God denied becomes addictions. We could say that spirit ignored, becomes addictions. America is one vast country of addicts, because they ignore the spiritual side of life- which is 99.99999% of existence. They cut themselves off from the flow of the spirit. I read of one alcoholic, breaking himself of the booze. An alkie “friend” offered him a drink. He saw his “friend’s” face turn into that of the witch, offering the apple, in Sleeping Beauty. That witch offers the apple of good and evil, just as the media does. There is no difference. And Americans are as asleep as the sleeping beauty.

    I choose not to drink alcohol. I accept that I have addictive behaviors. I have gone to AA meetings. They are as close to a Native American medicine circle as Americans get. And they tell the truth, there, mostly, which is rare for Americans. They form a supportive community.

    What is the heart of AA? Connecting to the “higher power”, the 99.9999% of existence that alcoholics ignored. You want to see the alcoholic dream realized? The reality of the advertisements? Go to any inner city. Notice the package stores, they grow like weeds. Notice the drunks, with paper bags, concealing booze, even in the daytime, and especially at night. When I look at alcohol, I see the tears of children, ignored, of spouses grieving, of dreams dying, of great pain, of temporary relief of the pain of separation from the spirit, and death. I see a grinning skull, on every bottle of alcohol I look at. The media promotes the materialism that is the foundation of addiction.

    I have never slept with random women. Too much risk. Too materialistic. Too disrespectful. This is not my path. The guys that I’ve seen who do so generally were hurt, deeply, so they armored their hearts, as Don Juan did (for the same reason), so they cannot be hurt again.

    • Nothing against AA. It’s good to go there, to see what happens to people who drink a lot- men and women. The shelf life for alcoholic women is much shorter.

    • You offer good advice Suzanne. Someone else on this blog said that most people will discover how true what you say is, the way a crash test dummy discovers a windshield

  8. You said to avoid these women because they will get attached, make false accusations, forget their birth control, exploitation is involved, and respect is important. This is good reason to avoid most American women even when they are sober, and only drunk on feminism. Native American warrior societies sometimes forbade men in them to have any sex, just as the Knights Templar did. When you evaluate a martial arts teacher, you look at the advanced students. They are further down the path. If they are sloppy, this tells you the teacher has no idea what he is doing.

    Look at alcoholic women, who are further down the path. You can do this for free, at any AA meeting. Really listen to them talk. Notice how they speak, notice their energy. Is this a supportive partner you want to be with, for a long time? Then listen to the men. They are further on the path. They can teach you to make better choices. If you’re going to feel pain, in life, it is so much better to feel it in other people’s bodies, when they are screwing up. Americans have the materialist idea that they can interact with people, and not form connections. This is not so. Sex is never casual. When you get involved with people, cutting them off is not easy.

  9. “Should” is not useful. It describes something not happening now, probably didn’t happen in the past, and with precedent like that, is unlikely to happen in the future.

    There are much better reasons to avoid casual sex. The man does not know the woman well. How does he know she’s not a psychopath? Does he? Is she pretending to be drunk, so he’ll drink? Why would any man incapacitate himself, around an unknown person? Warren Farrell notes several incidents of women applauding news of men getting killed by women. Interesting. I’ve seen many women who can put on a facade, but who are totally f’ingly insane. The courts do nothing to them, when they commit crimes. Women literally get away with murder, and the FBI hides it by playing games with crime statistics. Casual sex with an unknown woman is something like coming on to a rabid female mountain lion. It is not going to come out well. How do you know she doesn’t have a friend, to take your wallet, or just the cash and credit cards? Happens a lot. Tucker Max had this to happen to him. He also had two crazy drunk women pounding on his door, one Saturday night, so much so neighbors threatened to call the police. His books are funny, and yet pathetic, in a way. Look into the hearts and minds of the women he was with. It’s sad.

    It’s not about should. It’s a question of rationally measuring risk. Sex with unknown women is risky.

  10. I was stationed at Udorn Royal Thai Air Force Base, in the 1960’s. There were bars outside, of course. And hookers. Suay mak, na khrap? Nitnoi. Even hookers under 18. The rate at that time varied from 50 American cents, a few baht, to maybe $5. Soldiers are lonely, overseas, as a rule. But the majority of those stationed at the base didn’t even go to those places. They did the tourist thing, yes. Some might have had a live in girlfriend. Soi Cowboy, in Bangkok- I wouldn’t go there on a dare. It’s not safe. Totally aside from the ladyboys. Phuket, Hua Hinh, and the other sleepy beach towns, are now all sex tourism destinations. I can’t visit them. Makes me sick. It is a measure of our media that they are all upset when men go overseas, for sex tourism. American women have gone to Europe, and other places, for sex tourism, since at least the 1960’s, and before. British women particularly enjoy Turkey, as one example. Women play more than men do, because they can. If a man asks a women how many men she’s been with, she always undercounts. In a store, you have some guarantees of quality. You have no such guarantee with an unknown woman. You don’t know what you’re getting. It’s risky.

    • Sawatdee khrap, farang. Yes, sex was really cheap, there. I was in Korat RTAFB. Remember the Happy Home bar? On Suranaree street? I went in there once, just to see what it was like. And I got out quickly. You get what you pay for, and you pay for what you get. I went downtown, to see the statue of Lady Mo. Remember her? The Burmese army invaded, and put all the men behind bars. Lady Mo organized the women that of course the Burmese men wanted to sleep with. She ensured they had an unforgettable night. Once the men got what they wanted, they slept. And every single one of them was killed, with knives, by the women. And they put up that statue of her, right in downtown Korat. A statue. To a woman who organized the mass killing of foreign military men interested in casual sex. Is that a culture where you want to get drunk and engage in casual sex? The Bob Hope 1967 Christmas special, that he did in Korat, and several other places, is on youtube now. I was in that huge crowd. The jokes seem really corny now. They were very funny, back then. I didn’t go playing with the pooyings. No thanks. You can walk the streets of Korat on Google Earth. It’s totally changed, though.

  11. Feminists are addictively and ferociously materialistic. A materialist knows there isn’t enough, and so, takes all they can. They live in fear and hate. Someone on a spiritual foundation knows there is plenty, and gives as much as s/he can. They live in love, and joy. You can’t turn down a woman, she’ll revenge herself. So you say you’re tired, you feel sick, you’re gay… whatever feels likely to work. If you aren’t in her sights, she can’t fire at you. All the military services know of the barracks rats, who don’t go to bars on the weekends. They stay in the barracks, they go to parks, they read, and they avoid women.

  12. Let us speak of individual experience, vs. aggregate behavior. There is a massive difference. Ann Coulter was on some TV show, and noted that the kindest thing a single mom could do was to give up her children for adoption. That’s a shock jock statement. Women immediately reacted, like “My mother raised me, and she did a good job.” No woman in the audience could tell the difference between her individual experience, and the combined experience of all. Ann noted that 70% of criminals are products of single parent families. If you want to see the feminist paradise, you can go to the inner city slums, and see it. Do it when the kids are in school, it is safer. Freakonomics asked “why do so many drug dealers live with their mothers?” Single moms raised most or all those people. And you paid for it, with your taxes. Yes, it is possible to succeed, in that circumstance, but it’s like trying to run a marathon, with a 50 lb pack. There are stats elsewhere on this blog, about the major problems products of single parents have. I raised a child myself, as a single parent, for more than ten years. It’s hard. When you have family, and a spouse, backing you up, it is much easier. So, individual experience is NOT the same as the aggregate. Feelings are not facts.

    I saw a genetic study, which noted that historically, about 80% of women were able to reproduce. And only about 40% of men were able to reproduce. Why is that. Women are hypergamous. They go for the guy with assets. Female gorillas go for the bigger, meaner male. Does go for the stag, not the yearling. Remember the C students in high school, the guys? They didn’t have many dates, as a rule. In my high school, they were mostly invisible. Athletes were the alpha males, and they had no lack of female companionship. Nerds were even more invisible. The fact is that the majority of men in the USA are not seeking out casual sex, or if they are, they are unsuccessful. What do young women experience? Men who are interested in them, which is a small part of the whole population of men. They extrapolate from personal experience. And they are wrong. Of the single men in my military unit, at least 80%, and probably 90%, were not having casual sex. They had other goals, they were doing college courses, they had a motorcycle, whatever. Oh, they’d go “yeah yeah” when some guy was boasting, and never admit they weren’t getting any. But they weren’t getting any. When you live with other people, you know what they do with their time. The boasters weren’t getting much, either. The guys who were getting a lot were in their 30’s, or 40’s, usually divorced. Military bases then, and even now, have a population with a high male to female ratio. Yet if you went into the clubs, nearby, there were always more women than men. Clubs have free nights for women, they know that having women in the clubs means business. I saw guys in college buying drinks for women, to hopefully get more. But I didn’t see them being successful. I never did that, not even once. I was too busy mastering my craft, my studies. I worked more than full time, with full time courses. I had no time at all for bars, or women. I sanded the pole, so to speak, to keep my drive down. I didn’t want distractions. Never mind.

    The assumption in this blog title is that there are a lot of men doing casual sex. It isn’t true. Yes, you can find men in the singles bars. But women don’t know where to go, to find men who aren’t seeking out casual sex. If men aren’t seeking out casual sex, mostly they aren’t seeking out women. They are invisible to women. Tucker Max talks about his life, and notes how many men in college, when he was there, weren’t getting any. His books sell well, because they are like romance novels for men, men can have safe, vicarious experience of the wild life, without the hangovers, STDs, and so on.

    George Clooney had a mullet at one time, when he was young, and looked like a dork. All of a sudden, in his 40’s, he was established, and he started doing very well with the ladies. I explain to young men that they need to get themselves established, and that when they are thirty, then they will be far more attractive to women. I also note that the women who are ignoring and dissing them are all going out with older men, who are established. Then I tell them that when they are thirty or so, they will be attractive- to younger women, because they will be older. And the women who dissed them won’t be very attractive, and will start getting desperate. Young women are treated like queens. They can go to bars, or wherever, and they are treated like royalty. Cops don’t give them tickets. They get minor car repairs free. When they hit 30, or so, the fan mail slows down. They can still get a 19 year old for a night, maybe, so they can tell themselves they still have it. By 37, they are getting nervous. They don’t understand that they have a “sell by” date. That’s a cruel, materialistic statement. It also reflects reality. You want to sell your stock when it’s at its peak, not when it’s in a trough.

    This blog title does not reflect the fact that casual sex is largely not available, to average younger men, or if it is, it is very expensive. It never was readily available. Women line up for the bad boys, but the average guy just doesn’t get much, if any. Younger men get married thinking the sex will be great. At first, in the pair bonding time, it is. Then it goes down an energy level or two, to the pair maintenance phase. Or the wife has a child, porks up, and just doesn’t care about hubby’s needs. There are plenty of men who avoid women. They aren’t gay. They just aren’t interested. The military is full of them. The military prefers them. Warrior monks are nothing new.

    The lesson for men is simple. When they are young, they are in a seller’s market, and the price is usually beyond their means. When they are older, they are in a buyer’s market, and life changes, a lot. Look at the surveys, of men in their 20’s, 30’s, 40’s, and 50’s. Their desire to get married goes down, as they hit each new decade. Women do the reverse- they are more and more interested in marriage, as they hit each new decade. Because women get far more out of marriage, than men do, at far less risk.

    Casual sex is very risky, for American men. Many know that. Marriage is also very risky, and more and more men know that.

  13. I know more than a few men, who, when casual sex appears likely, hear the robot saying “Danger, Will Robinson, Danger!” and say “Activate cloaking device, Mr. Sulu. And get us out of here!” Bait can often indicate that a trap is nearby.

    • A 10 at 2 AM, in an alcoholic haze, becomes a 2 at 10 AM. Been there, done that, got the T-shirt. And the hangover.

  14. Romance novels are for women what porn is for men. A substitute for the real thing. One must understand that it is simply unrealistic fantasy. Casual sex is also an unrealistic fantasy. There are men in their 40’s, and older, who quit playing with women. What is the probability of success picking up a woman in a bar, for casual sex, for those who aren’t rich? Small. Men with little spare time, that is, men who work, who are over 30 or so, don’t have much time to play a game with low odds of success, and high risk. You go into a restaurant, you order a meal, the meal comes. You pay for it. Simple exchange. And you get your meal 99.999% of the time. Women in bars are not in any way simple, and the probability of success is small. A man over 40 isn’t willing to throw away his time, for low odds of success. I know a couple of guys who go into bars where unmarried women in their 30’s and 40’s go, looking for men. They sit at a table, and ignore the women. The women do everything in their power to get the guys’ attention. It doesn’t work. They do exactly what women in their 20’s do to men- ignore them. Casual sex is like casually playing with fire, and gasoline. It’s not safe. When Americans go into the woods, they go in making a lot of noise. Animals hear a large predator, and hide. One sees few animals this way. If you get very quiet, and quiet your mind, and stop disturbing the flow, the animals start coming out of hiding again. Women don’t understand that many men are like these animals- they vanish. Suzanne, what you say is useful. It assumes there aren’t already a lot of men who avoid casual sex, though. I estimate that more than 50% of men who could opt for casual sex either can’t, or don’t. The engineering students I saw in college had no time for bars, or women. They were studying 6-9 hours/day, not counting classes. The hatred feminists show is partly based on the men they deal with. But lots of men won’t deal with them, or even talk to them. They have a very skewed sample.

    • Well, then there is Chivalry. Is Chivalry dead? Chivalry is basically respect. Who invented it? *^*Women*^* . Eleanor of Aquitaine was a main player. Respect is a two way street. There is also respect for circumstances. If I’m on a street, in New York City, in a not so great area, and I notice three men triangulating me, I do something to scramble their rhythm, like cross the street. I pay attention. Were I a woman… getting drunk around men, drinking, simply isn’t a good idea. I as a man don’t like to be around people drinking alcohol. There is also respect for self.

  15. Young men are on fire, when puberty hits. It is a major distraction. But mostly they don’t have access. Most do not have access in their early 20’s. They make claims, perhaps, to avoid shaming. But many don’t have much access. The top 10% of men do, yes. Women assume they represent all men. They do not. But men not in the top 10% are invisible, to most women. They may go to bars. Many strike out. After ten years of successful work, men start becoming visible. After at least 15 years of being ignored. Some things change. He has some choices, in women. If he’s divorced by then, he has a different outlook on life. There are personality shifts in the early 30’s, for both genders. Both tend to become more focused. More aware women may start looking for a long term relationship. Men might, also. Sex becomes more available to men, as they hit their 30’s, but less desirable. I read some advice from an old man, who said that he was constantly thinking about sex when he was a teenager. Once he had some, he still had interest, but not as much. Sex is really a part of a relationship, however long it lasts. Casual sex is like casually playing with high voltage lines. It may come out ok. There is risk. Some people are turned on by high risk. Those who are sane avoid high risk. All of life is balancing risks and rewards. Rational people tend to choose less risk, with a good reward. There are many reasons to avoid casual sex. You didn’t mention STDs. You didn’t mention just how crazy women can be, in all relationships. You seem to think that all men are Tucker Max, or George Clooney. They aren’t. Tucker and George offer vicarious fantasy, that most men will never realize. If life is so good for men, why do 4 times as many men as women commit suicide? Why do men die 7 years younger than women, on average? Your point here is valid. You might have asked… since, men, most women aren’t interested in one night stands, and they assume that sexual interest is interest in their whole person, and that allowing a man entrance into their physical bodies is a form of hospitality, of welcoming, of a presumably trusted guest… insulting the host greatly, by treating the encounter as no more than a visit to the bathroom, cuts them to their core. It deeply wounds them, with a wound they may carry for the rest of their lives. It cuts them as much as you were cut, when you were turned down, by the first girl you asked out for a date, if not more. You might have asked what the value is, to use a human being for self-gratification, and then dumping her, immediately after, as if she were disposable, is. You might have asked how cutting women to their core, with the pain of rejection, after sex, does anything for anyone. Wounds scar up, but they never really heal. What was the name of that lion who couldn’t be king. Scar. There are men who are not so armored that they can feel the effects of their actions on others. One problem women have, is that they generalize way too fast. They assume that one or two experiences of something defines that. Women who do seek one night stands have no respect at all, for the men they hook up with. I find them unpleasant to be around. We do need to separate the genders, in college. The coed experiment isn’t working.

    • Feminists compare lower class women with very rich men, to stoke their resentment. Men and women of the same social strata generally live about the same, with men somewhat worse off. The “patriarchy”, such as it exists, is of the very rich. That last Rockefeller grandson, who died recently, had a different woman every night. The very rich live in a very different place. Bill Clinton spends time near his library, surrounded by unclad young things. No cameras are present. Hugh Hefner did publicly what many ultra rich men do privately. Women want the very rich, and may invest some sexual contact in hopes of getting a long term relationship with a rich man. But the rich can afford expensive lawyers. I was impressed by the rich kids I saw in college. They had new cars, used all kinds of drugs, drank a lot of booze, had sexual access to many women, and generally lived very well. I remember a guy talking about one daughter of the rich, “You don’t play with her. She plays with you.” They played around, too, a lot. I worked, and studied very much. I did get married in college. It was a mistake on my part. She was very immature, played around, and left. It is much better for a man to wait till he is 30, roughly, as only then does he start to acquire wisdom. And avoiding casual sex is a good idea. Not because of any “shoulds”, but because of the risk.

  16. There is an even better reason to avoid casual sex. Let’s talk about a man, who’s been in a relationship for three years. He loves her, enough to be with her. She’s also a tyrant, and he knows his life would be hell, if he married her. She calls him often, to check on where he is. He comes home late, and her car is there, and she says she missed him, had to come and see him. He knows better. She fights with such passion and hatred that reconciliation seems impossible. After one argument, the woman slit his tires three times, keyed his car, and when he caught her at 2 AM, going up to his car with a can of spray paint, and stopped her from messing with his car, he should have canned her then and there. He didn’t. She asks her friends why he hasn’t proposed. Maybe it is because wiser men want to see what kind of an ex she would be, since divorce rates are over 50%. That vengeful, before they are even married, is a nasty warning of trouble. If he has children with here, there is no divorce, really, there is only painful separation, and he gets to see his children suffer. THe woman he’s seeing bitches, insults, nags, makes painful comparisons, and when she’s with her girls, says, “Yeah I got that guy under control, I’m fixing him to be the husband I want!” and high fives… he may not see it that way. Men can’t imagine women like this as an ex wife, and really can’t even see them as a wife, because they are processing all the abuse. Jealous, insecure women, and most women are, are a massive risk. Men want to know what tolerance level a woman has. They know they’ll get home late from work, or maybe talk to a woman in the street and the wife’s friend tells her. The price of marriage was high for men, 50 years ago. And it is sky high now. Business is largely risk tolerance. Men know they have no power in marriage, so their risk tolerance is tanking, getting lower and lower. Avoiding casual sex is simply wise, for a man. There is minimal risk to women, in casual sex. There is massive risk, for a man, in it.

  17. Avoiding casual sex. Yes. Avoiding pain. What do you avoid in avoiding this.
    1. The Drama queens, who are addicted to conflict, and chaos. As you, a man, get older, your tolerance of BS will lessen. Women who engage in CS [gosh, that’s also the abbreviation of Chlorosulfobenzalmalononitrile, aka tear gas.] do not have stable emotions, and they do like taking risks. Which means they’ve taken risks before. With diseased men. Maybe one of them is on the way home to be with her, just as things get hot. Oh, and he’s on probation, after beating the heck out of some guy, with a baseball bat. Some women like side action.
    2. You have no idea if they share your core values, or lifetime goals. They might have been dumped and cut to the core, recently, with a strong desire to strike back at men. Women commit more domestic violence against men, than men do against women. The FBI hides female murders of men, as Warren Farrell says. Maybe that’s why Tom Leykis says to never sleep over, with a booty call. Running a sharp knife over your throat, as you sleep, isn’t hard. A child can do it. Then she can mess things up, be in tears when the cops come, complain you attacked her, and she had to defend herself. And 95% of the time, she’ll be let off. Personal security is your job. What is the first lesson in martial arts. Oh yes, never take your eyes off your opponent.
    3. You have no idea what her trust and commitment levels are. Oh, you’re just going to dump her, after you satisfy your need. You can do that. But you are in close proximity to her. Maybe she handcuffs you to the bed. And pulls out a machete. And her eyes have a really feral look to them. Have you ever dealt with a woman who was insane? I have. It is scary. How much can you really trust a single use sex toy? With independent volition? Volatile emotions? Access to weapons? You are too young to remember John Wayne Bobbitt. Google that.
    4. What is her relationship with her family, and friends. She might have alienated them all, because she is batsh.t crazy. You might be the trigger that pushes her over the cliff, into deep psychosis. It has happened before. That’s just what you want to be naked, sleeping, vulnerable, next to a psychopath with access to weapons. Can you see anything wrong with this picture? Getting killed is a hard one to come back from. Gringos sometimes just vanish in South America. Or maybe she told you she was 18, and after the act, she tell you she’s 16, and if you don’t pay her $2,000, she goes to the cops. It happens. Maybe your homeboys haven’t been around long enough to hear these stories. Get an older man talking, especially one who’s been around cops.
    5. She may tell you all her exes are jerks. Well, could be because she’s a princess who expects her every whim to be met. Maybe she expects to be served hand and foot. Maybe she has some truly cute hobbies. Look at the statistics on the people who vanish, each year. You don’t know what kind of trap she is baiting. Talk to people who wander in the woods, and find ritual sites where human blood was used. The FBI doesn’t talk about it openly, but they had a multi-year investigation of this, for a time, according to a SA I spoke with.
    6. You may have no feelings now. That’s fine. Use her and dump her. Down the road, a woman that you have really deep feelings for, one you would gladly devote your life to, one who is so beautiful you want to cry deep in your soul, one that you know you will enjoy penetrating enthusiastically for the next 50 years, one who sets your heart afire, I mean THE ONE, just dumps you, coldly. Down the road, you realize that what goes around, comes around, and you realize just how deeply you hurt that one night stand chippie. Life is about growth. I have met a number of men, and women, who had some deep regrets about all the people they caused deep hurt to. Making amends is even one of the 12 steps of AA. Get a stripper talking. If she trusts you, and you aren’t hitting on her, you can hear some stories of abuse that will make you want to vomit up the Big Mac you ate.
    I deeply regret even not doing the small kindness to people that I could have, when I was younger, and not as aware. I deeply regret not having been kinder to those who could have used some kindness- women and men alike. Unless you are a complete psychopath, you will get a revelation, later in life, some layer of armor will fall off, and you will suddenly feel all the pain you caused other people. That is incredibly painful. You won’t believe me. That’s ok. Maybe it will not happen for you. Maybe all the investment you made in causing pain to others won’t pay off for you. Maybe. Maybe karma doesn’t exist. Maybe all we are is flesh.

  18. Have you ever found a stray dog, that clearly needed love? You fed it once, so it would go on its way. But it stayed around for the chow. Now you have a companion, not so easy to get rid of. You don’t want to hurt it, but can you keep it? And she looks up at you with such love. If you cannot clearly, and with no intuitive warnings in your gut, imagine yourself happily married to a woman, it is better to avoid sex with her. Exploiting women doesn’t feel good, down the road. This is also true of men. The Near Death Experience people write about the “Life Review” that happens when we pass on to the next world. Our entire life flashes in front of our eyes. With the addition that we now feel everything we ever inflicted on other people- as them- feeling all they felt. Dannion Brinkley writes about his, which occurred when he was hit by lightning. He was each kid he beat up in high school. He was each of his sniper targets, in Vietnam. He ran guns down to Central America, again. Only this time, he was each person using the weapon, each person shot with it, he felt what the grieving families felt, he was descendants, feeling the loss of leaders. Interestingly, when he came back from that, he changed his line of work, and found ways to put more joy in people’s lives. Dannion has his detractors, and they all speak BS. Listen to Dannion himself. The mass media is a cesspool. Dr. Raymond Moody gathered over 2,000 stories of these. A woman from Singapore had one, and Wayne Dyer convinced her to write a book about it. Now maybe all these people had illusions. The Egyptian book of the dead describes a culturally filtered near death experience, and is better translated as Book of the Great Awakening. The sarcophagus in the Great Pyramid was used to intentionally induce a NDE, in the Pharoah, and priests. The 7 major temples along the Nile River were used for similar purposes. A woman who is used like a piece of toilet paper, and cast aside, is hurt. So is a man, rejected. Old people will tell you what goes around, comes around, and you reap what you sow. Karma. What a concept. Young people haven’t been around long enough to see this. Men get dumped in the same way. They can detach more easily. Inflicting great pain on people is not the best way to live a life. Is it Step 7, in AA, that involves apologizing and making amends, for the pain one inflicted on others? The best defense against a false rape accusation is “gee, officer, I haven’t seen this woman before, sorry, I’m in engineering, and all our time goes to studying.”, and for that to be true. If those women don’t know who you are, they can’t accuse you. When I was in college, I had almost no time for women. Maybe a quick tea. I kept a 3.5, on a 4 point scale, working full time. AA circles are the closest white man world comes, to a Native American circle. It is one of the few places people tell the truth.

  19. It is not enough to avoid casual sex. One needs to learn to be invisible at times. If you blank out your mind- have no thoughts- and go with the flow. Going with the flow means feeling the flow of the chi, the life force energy, and moving with it. Indians in the woods did it all the time. This is why they were very silent. Tom Brown, Jr.’s Apache mentor was so good at this he could stalk wolves. Even the Apache were fascinated with this. A kit fox can hear a ticking watch at 50 meters, and a wolf has better senses. One gets out of language, and into feeling. Then one scans people. I see/feel most feminists as having knives coming out of them, point out. Not so good. Even when they try to be polite, it is like watching a flamethrower. I enjoy walking in the woods. Trees are almost alive. If I translate “tree” into human, it is like watching a dryad, a Greek tree spirit. Hard to explain. Trees are very loving, too. I listen to what Tom Brown, Jr., calls the “symphony of nature”, the music that the wind plays on trees, grasses, and so on. It has its own rhythm. I move in that rhythm, a part of the larger whole. It is very beautiful. Cities, like NYC, are very mechanical, and hard, yet they too have their rhythm. I can move in it. In that flow, I can feel muggers choosing targets at 50-100 meters. They seek the weak, they seek easy targets, just the way foxes do. I can enter their minds, and feel their thoughtfeelings. Here is a woman in her fifties, walking. She is dressed well, in good shape. She has sorrows, and she has set them aside, she has a place to go. Here is a teenaged boy, on a skateboard. He enters pure joy, and becomes an expression of joy. Here is a man in a suit, with many cares, much to balance. here is a child in a baby carriage, enjoying the sun. It’s like a massive radio station, a youtube of the spirit, with many places to tune into. Every now and then I run across a hitman. Hitwomen exist, too. They are extremely unpleasant to scan. They are pure materialists, and may wear the uniform: black clothing. It’s just a job, for them. Here is a shopkeeper, moving his product to increase sales, always worried about the flow of business. Here is a park, totally intent on giving people the beauty they are so starved of, knowing its job is so important. here is the East River. Yes. It carries so much sewage, and garbage. It feels burdened. Here is the Staten island ferry, knowing its job is to move people, and content in that job. Here is the rain, the mass mating of the water and air spirits, in ecstasy. Here is a young child, not yet separated from the flow. Here is a singles bar. The women, deep down, all seek love. They yearn for love, to be appreciated, caressed with love, they hunger deeply for it, for our culture does not foster love. Here are the young men, on fire, seeking outlet for their fire. They want love also, but put that off, for they have a fire to quench. The women cut off the betas, who are foolish enough to buy drinks for them. The alphas may not even talk to the women. The women seek out love as a moth seeks out light, they do all the subtle mating calls, that men under 35 don’t even see. They get more direct. The women over 40 know that men don’t see any of the subtle body language, so they get very direct. The alphas leave with a woman. The woman has a certain sadness in her, for she knows hurt will come, but deep down she hopes love will also come. She goes for the alpha as the moth seeks the flame, as the bee seeks the nectar. Like an insect in a spiderweb, she may be in shock, after it’s over. I remember seeing women leaving guys’ rooms, in college, on Sunday morning. They did not wish to be seen. They had the aura of regret, none of them seemed very happy. The guys may have boasted, but inside, it was like they went to the bathroom, and emptied out. Committed sex is like a really fine apple cider, the kind that only the orchard owners can make, a special blend of apples, with many flavors playing in concert, different every time, a tropical storm of flavor, and life. Casual sex is like cold, dead apple juice, that’s been sitting on the shelf for a year. It is apple juice, but it is dead. It does quench thirst. Try 100 of them, and all of them are dead. And when you try that homemade cider, that would cost $10/gal or more, if it was sold, you wonder why you ever drank the dead stuff. The orgasm in a committed relationship is like hearing the concatenation of church bells, it is pleasure that echoes down the chambers of a hundred rooms, it is a feast of sensation, it is becoming one with bliss, it is like feeling the echoes of several hundred orgasms. The orgasm from casual sex is like eating a McDonald’s burger.

  20. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=075Jp-3VTGg

    Using the video linked above to start with the premise that, in general, Western women are useless to men as partners in life and as a parent to potential children, the topic of abstaining from casual sex becomes an interesting one to ponder.

    Removing the fundamental, and now, largely the final or only element of value a woman can bring to a man (though it is not really of value since there is an abundance of vagina in the world), puts the onus back on women to stop acting immature and selfish, to develop their character, humility, & capacity for kindness, and establish some semblance of a value system that includes caring, compassion, generosity, empathy, and nurturing for others, including a man in their life. No, this is not “unpaid emotional labor”, as is now being kicked around. https://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/features/a27259689/toxic-masculinity-male-friendships-emotional-labor-men-rely-on-women/ (Once again, Feminists driving conversation around constantly needing to be financially reimbursed [aka Open Hypergamy] for every last thing a woman does for others, or rather, for a man or men, and proving the contractual nature of relationships, especially for women as *they* relate to men. “Love”? Romance? What a crock of sh!t…) This development and maturation is called being human, becoming an adult, and being part of a community, community that starts with relationship, creating a home, and then extends into extended family, neighbors, and the community at large beyond that as any excess of relationship energy permits.

    If both sides remove sex from the interaction and from what constitutes dating these days, there is essentially nothing women bring to the table for men, and therefore no reason for a man to initiate anything with her. If he is mature & conscious enough to realize the dangers of the majority of casual sexual encounters (aka sex with a dishonest, manipulative, immature, psychotic, or unconscious woman, which rules out a vast majority), then again, there is little to no value to the interaction for him, thus no reason to associate or even initiate conversation & relationship. There is, however, plenty of risk and therefore reason to avoid all of that, especially given the culture of disrespect and hatred for men due to Feminism creating and using the strawman they have, and the frog-in-the-pot Fabian-like incrementalism that has arisen in Western society, and how what was once fringe is now the accepted middle.

    In learning about Briffault’s Law, a man’s hackles might naturally go up when a woman starts to show interest. She clearly wants something and is trying to manipulate her way into getting it. If she doesn’t want anything, that is patently obvious since she steers clear and puts in zero effort. The objectification of men is real, and it is not understood by many since it is a blind spot in society, a way to excuse the behavior and entitlement women feel, while keeping men yolked to some gynocentric “duty” or obligation, to which there is no corresponding right or privilege. Men are duped into being the “nice guy”, manipulated and shamed into giving away their energy (friendship, money, and/or emotional intimacy or holding space for her emotional tides) for free, without receiving a corresponding investment of her physical intimacy, including sexuality. If a man lets it happen, a woman will almost always take any and all goodies for free, and she feels zero responsibility nor duty (nor is there societal duty, this blog not withstanding) to get with the program and be of benefit to that man. Men need to understand when they are giving away their value for free, when they’re being duped into this and shamed into avoiding asking for, demanding, or outright receiving what they want and need from women.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UTRD4ACLhqk (Of particular interest in this video is the anecdote discussed from ~5:19-6:05. Fickle female nature fueling men to shut down their desire to be loving, caring family men, fathers, and husbands when such behavior is met with divorce because it’s “boring”, and her immaturity is rewarded with Divorce Culture cash & prizes.)

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UaFJ18aENkc

    • Hedy Lamar married 6 times. Clear demo. The current system, where men get few to no benefits from marriage, and women get massive benefits, means that men with long term vision, who are capable of thinking, tend to avoid marriage. Only the less smart animals get caught in traps. Smarter animals evade the traps. The marriage risk/reward ratio stinks. I wonder what effect this will have on the long term intelligence of the population? The Chinese say that daughters get 2/3 of their nature from father, 1/3 from mother. For sons, it is the reverse. So this would seem to hurt women of the next generation. Women see men through the filters of men they’ve been with, or around. They refuse to be aware that men who avoid them are not part of their perception. The biggest single reason to avoid casual sex is the kind of women who offer it. High grade food costs more. Low grade food costs less. Low grade food has side effects. So does low grade sex. There is no “should” in this. This is a question of risk analysis, and risk avoidance.

  21. The state began interfering in marriages in the late 1960’s. A previously lifetime contract became very casual. Divorce became a winner take all game, and women were guaranteed a win. What man will enter a fool’s game like that? Casual sex is even worse. There is no basis for trust. Women who enter casual sex are clearly frequent participants. The risk of STDs doesn’t scare many young men, who haven’t had an experience of how bad our health care system is. The real risk is that sex is deeply primal, and it takes people out of their thinking minds. Women are irrational enough as it is. Add in casual sex, and they are like a four year old; all desire, massive expectation, and no thinking. Four year olds get extremely upset when they hear “no”. So do women who somehow don’t understand, and can’t understand, that sex can be casual. Feminists pay lip service to casual sex. Some feminists think they are somehow extremely attractive to men. They aren’t. A man who seeks committed marriage has a real search on his hands. With American women, it’s like he has “Marry me, and get a lifetime annuity” tattooed on his forehead. For casual sex, American men have “gather all your resentments about life, and dump them on me, as you destroy me”, tattooed on their forehead. 25 years ago, there were only 30 outfits connecting American men with Russian women. Just 30. They did a great business. This didn’t count the brokers of Asian women. In one publication a friend had, there were Muslim Arab, and African women, seeking American men. Marrying a foreign woman is rolling the dice, since once she gets here, she learns how divorce is a guaranteed jackpot for women. Women in their 30’s start to notice that fewer and fewer men are willing to make commitments. By their 40’s, such men are rare. By their 50’s, only freshly divorced men are available. I knew a woman who ran a dating service. She would tell women over about 37 that their only hope of finding a guy roughly in their age range was to get a recent widower, who didn’t yet know how many younger women were available to him, for short term and long term relationships. Oh yes, there are exceptions. There are also people with six fingers per hand. And people with two heads. They are rare. Casual sex is simply dangerous. Women who engage in it are less than stable. Would you approach the female inmates of a psycho ward for sex? No? And if you have enough experience of life, you realize that the women in psycho wards are often more sane than women in our culture. Long term relationships are marginally safer.
    I have yet to hear of a magazine, or website, suing for child support.

  22. To the tune of You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin’ The Righteous Brothers

    I never close my eyes anymore so he’ll kiss my lips
    And there’s no tenderness like before in his fingertips
    I’m trying hard not to show it
    And baby, baby I know it
    I’ve lost that lovin’ partner
    Whoa, that lovin’ partner
    I’ve lost that lovin’ partner
    Now he’s gone, gone, gone, woh
    Now there’s no welcome look in his eyes when he greets me
    And now he’s gone, and not ever coming back, ever
    It makes me just feel like crying
    ‘Cause baby, something beautiful’s dyin’
    I’ve lost that lovin’ feelin’
    Whoa, that lovin’ feelin’
    I’ve lost that lovin’ feelin’
    Now it’s gone, gone, gone, woh
    Baby, baby, I’d get down on my knees for you
    If you would only love me like you used to do, yeah
    We had a love, a love, a love you don’t find everyday
    So don’t don’t don’t go away
    Baby, baby, I beg with tears, I need your love, I need your love
    Bring it on back
    I’ve lost that loving feeling whoa that loving feeling
    bring back that loving feeling, cause it’s gone gone gone
    and I can’t go on, whoa
    Bring back that loving feeling, ohh that loving feeling…

    Many of my male friends tell me that women who dumped them painfully, and did them considerable damage, will slingback more than 10 years later, and expect to start up right where they left off.
    Casual sex is not casual for women. For them, they own you, as soon as you plug in the recharger.
    If you leave, this is a major paradigm collapse, which is painful to them.
    Why else would Tom Leykis say to never ever let that casual booty know where you live, other than the fact that you will be dealing with a psycho who can really hurt you? And get away with it? Why would he say to always wear the sheath, and borrow a car, and otherwise cover your tracks.
    In my grandfather’s day, there were young women best avoided. But there were more marriageable women around. Today, if you want a good wife, you have to find a woman who is a product of a loving, stable couple, who really wants a family, who is capable of committing- so many aren’t. You must find one with a good heart, who is healthy, and willing to work at it. The only way you can do that is with intent, and practice. Casual sex is distracting, and somewhat risky. Women do want a man who has been “pre-selected” by other women, so some prior experience is ok. One cannot explain much to young women, or young men. The test of an activity is if you feel really good, 24-48 hours afterwards.
    Young men like to take risks, ride motorcycles without helmets, engage in casual sex, and so on. Pain teaches a thorough lesson. Black people call a young women, typically a cocaine addict, who moves in with an older man,after casual sex, to strip him of his assets, a ‘strawberry’. Many American women are addicted to spending money, in the same way. The only way to find a good partner any more is to use intent. That is useful.

  23. Suzanne, you say: It’s wrong to use someone for personal gain. This really should be the first on the list, honestly. No one should ever “use” anyone. It’s wrong, pure and simple. And you will likely feel badly for doing so.

    Suzanne, ok, this is correct, from a judgmental point of view. Judgments aren’t very convincing, especially for hotblooded young men. What goes around, comes around. What ye sew, shall ye also reap. Living well is the best revenge. Some would call this karma. Materialists who live in a material universe don’t believe this stuff. More spiritual people, who understand energy flow, understand karma. I see feminists ladling hate on men. I laugh as hard as I can. I know what a crop they will reap. They blame the patriarchy for the crops they planted. Interesting that “screwing” someone can mean either cheating them, or exploiting them sexually. I gave 15 baseballs, a baseball bat, gloves, a helmet, and face guard, along with a number of books, and other supplies, to a woman who runs youth programs for kids in economically challenged areas, today. It was fun. More importantly, I always get paid well for this- from somewhere else. I can’t predict where, or how, but the rewards always show up. Casual sex is planting seed, too, but seed has a way of escaping. Jurassic Park had a foolproof way to keep the dinosaur population down, but nature found another way. Casual sex has worse odds than gambling in Vegas. Even Tucker Max talks at length about some of the conquests that he regretted. The childbearing center in middle aged women moves up to the heart, sometimes, and they see their community as almost an extension of self. For men, the small head gives way to the big head, in the 30’s, or maybe a little later. The smartest thing a guy in his 20’s can do, is to work hard, and smart, learn all he can, so he has value. The women available to him are lower grade, and often not worth any risk. When he’s in his 30’s, and successful, he can be looking for a partner, a lot more successfully. Judgments aren’t very useful. Looking at patterns, detail, and processes, seeing how other people screw up first, is far, far more useful. Using people to exploit them comes at a high price, which is not disclosed up front.

    • Yah, like you “should” avoid going into a building on fire, you “should” avoid walking out into the street when cars are coming. You “should” avoid sticking your hand into a blender that’s operating.

  24. The final song of Les Miserables had interesting lyrics:

    And remember
    The truth that once was spoken
    >>>>To love another person
    Is to see the face of God.<<<<
    CHORUS
    Do you hear the people sing
    Lost in the valley of the night?
    It is the music of the people
    who are climbing to the light.
    For the wretched of the earth
    there is a flame that never dies.
    Even the darkest night will end
    and the sun will rise.

    Speaking as a man, casual sex feels like using a toilet. I'm guessing that for a woman, it feels like functioning as a toilet. The book Das Boot has a scene, where the U-boat crew gets time with hookers. Five minutes only, per sailor. How totally mechanical. Loving sex, in a committed relationship, is a Universe of delights. I know a couple like this. The guy is always smiling broadly, and I know why, I see who he's married to, and she is always smiling, too. His wife is now 68, and just starting to show signs of age. She has no grey hair. I've known them for more than three decades. Both are happy, productive, they have some great kids. And they are the happiest people in town.

  25. There was a movie out three years ago. Arrival. It was about an alien ship, that landed on Earth. They left a gift. Their language. They cited the Sapir Whorf hypothesis, that language shapes how people perceive reality. This is an extension of the observer principle, in Quantum Mechanics.

    Yo hablo el Espanyol. I speak Spanish. I am Anglo. There are Hispanic women who are unpleasant. Pleasant women exist at a much higher ratio, in Spanish culture. El amor is much more powerful than love, in English. English experience of love is crude, by comparison to Spanish culture. Here is a small example:

    9 Spanish Love Songs That Make You Wish You Were Latino

    5. Las Cosas Pequenas This is a recent acquisition, but it’s very heartfelt and sweet. The music video seems to show that the love is a childlike or pure one. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ROzZSmaxDz8 Best Bits: “Your smile Your little face Your way of being You are priceless And it’s love I know that” “Nothing is worth more than a faithful kiss And it’s the little things “And the way you look It’s what teaches me how to love. And your type of expression Is what overcomes that which is material”

    Traditionally, Spanish women did commit to marriage, more so than Anglo women. This is a culture that values family, and children. Until very recently, Spanish/Hispanic women were feminists only to open up jobs. Instead of generic single gender stuff, Spanish women wanted words like “doctora”, and other professions, to have the female ending. Spanish women commit more deeply, and for longer, than Anglo women. Yes, there are men who are not respectful to women, as there are in any culture. Yet until very recently, a man was expected to marry, and to have children. He had no status if he didn’t. Family is much more important in this culture. They don’t have as many children as they used to, yet they love their children, deeply. I have Anglo friends married to Hispanic women. Their women are committed to them, in a way I only rarely see among Anglo women. 40% of Hispanic women marry outside of La Raza. There is usually an excess of women, in most populations, that’s part of it. Men who seek a real family, with a supportive wife, who works at it, don’t tend to do well among Anglo women. They do better among Hispanic, well also Russian, Oriental, even African women. These cultures have not forgotten what works in marriage. Traditionally, Hispanic women did not engage in casual sex. I remember an Italian saying that when he thought in Italian, colors got brighter. Language does shape how we perceive. My wife’s cousin was guided through college by a boyfriend ten years older, who married her when she graduated. Her father wasn’t around to lead her. I see old Spanish/Hispanic couples, where there are two halves of one being. Being with a woman who is totally committed to the marriage is very nice. Sex in that kind of long term relationship is really good. Casual sex, in comparison, is kind of like junk food, or a pinball place. It’s flashy, but not very satisfying. Casual sex is energy-draining. Committed sex is energy enhancing, it’s very different. I suppose it is useful to experience both. Mi esposa es muy buena. As a black friend of mine said, “Yeah, da Spanish woman always be braggin’ on you, dey take care of dey man, dey make sure you got whatchoo need.” Sabado Gigante, the longest running variety show on US TV, had a section with Anglo guys married to Hispanic women. The guys spoke bad Spanish, but every single one of them had a big smile on their faces, he had that flowing energy coming from him, that said he was really, really satisfied, with life, and the woman he had committed to. The Spanish speaking audience laughed heartily. Get an Anglo man who is married to a Mexican talking. Mexicans aren’t perfect. yes, there are bad ones. But all but one Anglo man married to a Mexicana that I’ve known were very, very happy with her. Think of going for a massage. You get one. it’s ok. Now, imagine you have a masseuse who has known your body for more than a decade. The massage you get is totally different, and far better. Casual sex is useful the way motorcycle accidents are. It teaches caution. Sometimes you have to walk in sewage, to appreciate the beauty of flowers.

  26. Cost of dates: $200-500 per.
    Cost of good car: $40,000+
    Cost in time and emotional upset in dealing with crazy woman: $4,000
    Cost for lawyer in dealing with false rape allegation: $5,000
    Cost in lifetime earnings for having criminal record: $1,000,000
    Cost of paying half one’s salary, in child support, for 22 years: $880,000
    Cost of emotional turmoil over a child one pays for but cannot see or speak with: unknown
    Cost of regret about not being able to support a really good woman, and children: unknown

    Not having to deal with all that BS: Priceless

  27. Casual sex. Kind of like casual minefield clearing. I met an ER doctor, some years ago, at a Tom Brown, Jr., training. When he got a trauma patient in, he scanned the patient in 3D, with his imagination, so he knew immediately what the problem was. Then he would do the ER protocols, and somehow always be right on. And he was proficient. He had the medical training to know all the physical side, and he had the other training, for the energy side. As with most spiritual people, he was also a very pleasant person to be around. The American Society of Dowsers teaches men how to use intuition, in “dowsing”. This goes back centuries. De Re Metallica, by Georg Bauer, written in the 1500’s, on silver mining, has pictures of dowsers. The Y rod is harder to use. An L-rod is faster. A pendulum works, if you let it. If you don’t believe it works, it doesn’t. When you know it works, it does, and stay away from those who don’t believe it works, because they will cloud your work. I personally prefer a heads up display, with indicators in the red, yellow, and green range, so I can get an average. But you can do individual indicators with the devices. Recognize that devices are crutches, in time, you want an immediate readout, in your mind. Here’s a start:
    Repressed anger I want to see this under 10%, in the green range. Over that, risk is too high.
    Probability of revenge I want to see this under 5%, in the green range. Women are crazy, at times, and they can take unprovoked revenge based on anger about a girlfriend’s experience, or something in the news. They can literally get away with murder, and do so.
    Willingness to keep agreements I need to see this at over 90%, preferably 100%. If she cannot keep commitments, she is not worth having anything to do with. Under 90% means a ghost icon appears.
    Reliability I need to see this at over 90%, preferably 100%. Less than that is very, very bad.
    Number of sexual partners Under 3 may be ok. 10 or more indicates high risk. You can ask her. “I don’t remember” means over 100. “I’m a free spirit” means 150 minimum. I made the mistake of marrying a woman who had 4 partners, prior to me, and I am still paying for that mistake.
    Crazy rating This runs 4-10, as there are no women under 4, on that scale, for crazy. 4-6 is the best you can do. If you do find a woman under 4, on this scale, with no contra-indicators elsewhere, this is one to commit to for life, ASAP, put a ring on it, write a check against it, do whatever you have to do, to get this one in your life. They are unicorns- they must exist, as there are pictures of them, but few men get to see one.
    Health/diet I like to see 9-10. Less than that is a problem. The ghost icon shows up.
    Toxin buildup in her body and spirit I like to see under a 1, on a 10 point scale.
    Hatred, and hatred of men I want to see under a 1. Cancer is a disease of hate, and high hate ratings seem to correlate with cancer. I am not a doctor, so this is no kind of medical advice, of course, it is simply observation of patterns.
    Willing and able to commit to relationship 100%, and stay the course. I want at least a 9, 10 is better. More and more women rate under a 3, in the USA, on that 10 point scale.
    Accuracy of my own information: 10. Any less than that means I need to calibrate. I like to be in workshop, in at least alpha, preferably theta, as taught by the Silva method people, or psiworld, or any of 40 other outfits. Theta Healing teaches this, too.
    Loves children, and is willing to commit to doing more than her share to raise them: I need to see a 10. Anything less means you will have to make up the difference. And since she never sees all you do, she will assume she is doing more than her share.
    Likes sex: I’d want at least a 9, on a scale of 1-10.
    Toleration/peace of mind: I need to see at least a 7. There are few 10’s among women, for this quality, in the USA.
    On a path with high probability of improvement: I need to see at least a 9. There is growth, and decay. There is no stability. Either she grows, or she rots, spiritually, and in time physically.
    Has grown out of her small self, into her true self, and has high probability of continuing: I need at least a 9.
    Physical beauty: This is easy to rate. Sexual Market Value varies, on the person. I like to see a 6-8. 9 and 10 can mean she plays around.
    Heart-centered, knows who she is: I need to see a 9, at least. Less than that is a major problem indicator.
    Probability of playing around: I want to see a 0 on this.
    Presence of venereal disease: I need to see a 0 on this one. Period.
    Tendency to addiction: I like a zero. A 1, on a scale of 1-10, may be ok, with other positive features.
    Has good relationship with parents, especially father: I need at least a 9, on a 1-10 scale. Her relationship with her father is very likely to be your relationship with her, as that is all she knows. If she hates his guts- as is true for many feminists- this is a blinking red light, with the mechanical voice saying, “warning, catastrophic relationship imminent, immediate evasion recommended”.
    Feminist ideas: a 1 is about all I will tolerate, on a scale of 1-10. Any more than that, and she will be competing with you, as if she were a man. Those men who like sexual relationships with men, are gay.
    One can add other qualities.
    You might scan her last lover, for example. Or her last five. On a 1-10 scale for character, what were they like? If they were under 8, you have a woman with loooowwww self-esteem.
    Then, you have the overall indicator. I use a scale of 1-10. Green for me is 9-10, positive stuff. Yellow warning is 8. Red light is 6-7. Below 6, is the large mean sergeant screaming “Get the he.. out of here, NOW, recruit, before the dam. thing blows up in your face!” range.
    There is another function. When I see a very happily married woman, or man, I do a “screen print” in my imagination, so I have reference points. These are added into my ideal range. Copy from success.

    Some of the above seem like they are focused on committed relationships. Yes, they are. As one enters the intuitive world, one starts to feel what one inflicts on others. Women in pickup bars generally have extremely low self-esteem, inability to plan, inadequate training, etc. which cycles into hatred of men, hatred of other women, self-destructive behaviors, and so on. You share energy with whoever you talk to, and you share a lot of energy with those you have sex with. If you want to mix your energy with someone full of poisonous energy, you can. It is not pleasant. All of the life stories of feminists I’ve read seem to involve serious trauma. They had the chance to rise above it, and serve people. Instead, they chose revenge.
    Another function is the “play it out” button. When I have at least a few minutes intuitive input on a woman, I “play out” a relationship with her, to see what probabilities are. If they end in her being totally bitchy, divorce, nastiness, permanently damaged kids, I know she is not the one for me. I’ve been in pickup bars, when I was younger. The energy there was something like walking through a toxic waste dump, with sick wounded animals dying, and the stench of garbage, rotting bodies, and so on. I couldn’t stay. If you can’t find that high grade woman, don’t settle. That is the worst thing you can do. Set your intent for finding that high grade woman. If it takes 5 years, it’s worth it, and it won’t. Have a very clear picture in your mind, of exactly what you seek. How would you feel, if you already were with that near perfect woman? What would you see, hear, and notice, when you are with her? Train your mind in what you do seek more of, and train your mind to guide you away from what you want less of. As you improve your energy, your world improves, and the people who show up in your world get better and better, too. You may notice that you can guide others, in time.

    • Don’t forget to measure the singles bar, for probability of success, and also probability for meeting crazy women. Measure the energy level of the bar. When I get a low reading on any place, I don’t go there. Or, I shift the energy. This is easier to do on a place. Dr. Richard Bartlett’s thing about rotating the energy through hyperspace, till it’s good, works. You don’t have to know how to do this. Just pretend you do, and it’s done. Measure also the probability of your own energy level going up, or down, as a result of entering the bar, and as a result of approaching a specific woman. If I know my energy level goes down, for either, then I go somewhere else. One of the early Near Death Experience people was thrown out of his body, and he went all over the USA, during World War II. He entered a bar, and saw entities entering the bodies of people there. This guy was a conservative Christian, and he reported all this. Bars usually have very low grade energy. So they attract low grade energy people. If casual sex isn’t increasing or improving your energy, why play at it?

  28. Casual sex is great for the rich. Women crowd around a rich guy, like mosquitoes in mosquito season. For a working guy, it has worse odds than Vegas. It takes some serious alcohol consumption to make the available women look good. So then there is the risk of a DUI. Not good. A landlady I had, was a truckdriver. She managed to get 3 DUI’s, in a short time. The state decided she needed an all expense paid vacation, at their Greystone Hotel women’s vacation facility. It must be very popular, there are fences, guards, and barbed wire around it. I understand the food isn’t very good, and the clientele are not the most pleasant people, but it was free. They also took her CDL. Lesbian, too, though she was open to hitting some guy for child support. The rich and the poor do not keep with societal mores. They don’t have to. Like a bell curve, the middle class sometimes does get married, and raise children, in a healthy way. Casual sex for the rich, and poor alike, is easy. I’m amazed women aren’t fighting casual sex. Casual sex greatly reduces the sexual market value of women, and it cheapens sex. If women thought rationally, they would be fighting casual sex the way Carrie Nation fought saloons. The primary enforcers of Muslim propriety for women are older women. This has always been true. Older women understand that playing with casual sex reduces a woman’s value greatly. Only in our culture do people ignore reality so completely. Women in their 30’s hit the wall, the way a bug hits a truck’s windshield. They can’t understand that throwing away their assets meant they had few assets left. Women control who gets sex, and they determine men’s behavior to them, accordingly. Men control marriage, especially after 30, because fewer men seek marriage. The MGTOW movement is growing by leaps and bounds, for a reason. Feminism has its counterforce: MGTOW.

Trackbacks

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

%d bloggers like this: