6 Ways Men Can Become Emasculation-Proof

Not long ago I received an email from a man with a simple question: Is there a way for a guy to be “emasculation-proof”? How can men (even young men) become secure in their identity so as not to become emasculated in their relationships?

So we’re clear, to be emasculated means to be made weak or ineffective. In a marriage or relationship, if a man is emasculated it means he tends to take his cues from his wife or girlfriend and ultimately bends to her will.

But the short answer is Yes, it is absolutely possible for men to become emasculation-proof. In fact, it’s critical men do if they want to be in a healthy relationship that serves their needs as much as it does women’s.

~

Sadly, this is harder than ever for modern men to do, as they’ve been systematically feminized for decades. I say “systematically” because the shift in male identity has been no accident. It’s a direct result of:

  • the rise in single motherhood and father-absent homes
  • an educational system dominated by women
  • the feminist movement, which insists men are unnecessary or even harmful to women
  • the introduction of the New Age sensitive guy who’s presumably superior to the macho man

All of these 20th century events and ideas led to a meteoric rise of soft males. Goodbye John Wayne and Clint Eastwood. Say hello to the beta male.

To be sure, male nature played a role in helping this transformation along. Men, as a rule, long for women’s approval and admiration and want to please the woman they love. And since the home tends to be the wife’s domain (no matter how much men and women share domestic duties), husbands often take direction from their wives on this front. That isn’t new.

What is new is that women have been groomed to believe men and society owe them. As a result, women either knowingly or unknowingly pull rank in their relationships—which makes the relationship hugely imbalanced.

Of course, not all women do this. But they’re the exception rather than the rule.

The reason they’re not the rule is because we in the West encourage women and girls to put themselves first at all times, as though they’re superior to men. We consistently put women’s needs, desires and rights above men’s needs, desires and rights. The notion that men even have rights eludes us.

This article, entitled “She Isn’t High Maintenance. You’re Just Low Effort,” is a consummate example.

“She deserves someone who’ll treat her right even when she makes a mistake. She deserves someone who’ll try constantly to prove his love, his admiration and his commitment to her. You don’t get to be mediocre.”

This mental conditioning is precisely what modern women are exposed to every day. They’ve absorbed a steady drip of girl power since the day they were born, and the result is the emasculation of men.

So how does the average guy who’s been groomed to wear skinny jeans and to wear his emotions on his sleeve and to do the diapers and the dishes (relax: I’m not suggesting men not do diapers and dishes) and to say “we’re pregnant” instead of “my wife is pregnant” retain his identity and avoid emasculation?

If you’re the parent of a son, you can do your part by empowering your boys to have just as much of a voice as girls do. And if you’re a grown man, well, wake up. Despite what the culture teaches, you matter just as much as women do. Don’t allow the equality narrative to tell you otherwise.

Here are 6 ways to avoid becoming emasculated in your marriage or relationship:

  1. Always treat a woman with respect, but don’t cave to her demands. Better yet, avoid demanding women altogether.
  2. If your wife or girlfriend says something with which you disagree, or if she wants to do something you don’t want to do, say so.
  3. You have as much say in so-called “women’s issues” as women do—because they’re not women’s issues. They’re human issues that almost always involve men and children. Know your mind and speak it.
  4. Recognize that your desire to prove you’re a New Age man (rather than like your old-fashioned, “gendered” parents) will likely undermine your needs as a man. Don’t be overly accommodating and wind up frustrated. You will almost certainly lash out in other ways from stifling your true self.
  5. Learn to say no to a woman.
  6. Retain your male friends and make use of male spaces.

At the end of the day, in any marriage or relationship there’s almost always one personality that’s stronger than the other. In the 21st century, it is far more common for that person to be the woman. And men can respond in one of two ways. They can roll over, or they can stand tall.

And I promise you: one of those will not end well.

Suzanne Venker

Suzanne Venker is an author, columnist and radio host known as The Feminist Fixer. She helps free women from feminism so they can find lasting love with men. Suzanne's newest book, WOMEN WHO WIN at Love: How to Build a Relationship That Lasts, will be published October 2019.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. The problem for most men now, is that standing tall usually means standing alone. It’s really become necessary for men to develop some game, in order to be able to properly read and manage their relationships. Even then, finding a woman who hasn’t been infected by feminism is really difficult these days, and feminist or not, nothing offers any protection from divorce rape. Any solution improving relationships has to include an overhaul of the family court system, or this is largely a waste of time.

    • See, I disagree w that. Family courts are a mess, no question. But keeping people from landing there in the first place will help. And that requires men and women both being proactive. That’s the reason for this post.

      • “That’s the reason for this post.”

        The stuff you list in this post will, with many women, get you to family court MUCH quicker – a large majority of divorces are initiated by women, and nothing in your list will protect from that.

  2. Hi Suzanne-
    I was reading the comments when I realized that men have been contributing (literally) to the increased use of Artificial Insemination and the increase of single mothers by selling their sperm.

    Possibly thinking they are ‘helping’ some poor couple rather than grasping the long-term effects of their minimal participation.

    Feminism discounts men, however it is amazing to me how many women want children without involving men. Obviously, without sperm, no children.

    If men want to be valued they need to stop ‘contributing’ to this problem. Not unlike women not having sex before marriage.

    Granted, the average donor is usually in his 20’s, so educating boys BEFORE they become men is paramount.

    I’m sure there are many more points to mine on this topic.

  3. You can always go Filipino! Some of my friends and many white conservative guys marry them because they have the values men are looking for. Western women to them are a waste of time and effort.

    • My cousin married a Filipino woman. The family welcomed her, she moved here, they had a daughter, and shortly after she got her citizenship, she left them. Luckily the daughter was fairly old by then and didn’t need her mother as much.

    • My lovely Filipino wife and I celebrated our 45th anniversary this past February. It has been a wonderful trip together from being two young kids to two senior citizens. The best way to meet a quality Filipina is to get to know a Filipino family in your local area. Every one has a sister/cousin/niece back home who would probably enjoy meeting and getting to know an American potential more-than-friend. And because she comes pre-qualified by virtue of her family connections you know you are not getting into a bad situation with a scammer.

  4. the problem with the six ways is that in reality disagreeing with or saying no to a woman presents the risk of her filing false sexual assault or other charges with police, leading to loss of liberty and career and child access. until such time as the legal system actually starts caring about due process for men again (ie: never), marriage and long-term relationships are largely a matter of the male losing his freedom and autonomy with no real recourse. and unless the male knows the woman extremely well both are therefore bad risks to take.

    • I don’t know. I’m not in a relationship but i have used some of these in my experience in dating and such. For instance, I remember a girl wanting to go out with herto bars during the work week. I told her i usually dont because of work, big projects I was working on where i had to be alert but that i would be happy to meet up on Friday. This happened a few times. When Friday rolled around, I called her to see if she liked to meet me. She responded with “I’m too busy working.” I never heard from her again. I can name other countless examples but this is a classic. These women have been groomed by the feminists to get their way. Its any wonder why we see the princess mentality in so many. When they know they cant control a man, they up and leave and try to shame the man saying “No woman will ever have you.”

      • You won the encounter by not getting tangled up with a silly party girl. And, really, hanging out at bars is boring.

    • The idea, I believe, is to employ these tactics from the beginning. Trying to turn a ship once its reached speed is damn hard.
      I came upon the redpill years ago after a divorce rape. I don’t have problems with women anymore because if they become a problem I dump them and move on.

  5. “Don’t be overly accommodating and wind up frustrated.”

    That’s me. I grew up with a dominant mother. She used our fear of setting her off against us to secure absolute control. She “groomed” me into a little gentleman, paining myself to be attentive and as vigilant as possible. Some things were old fashioned like getting my sister’s door, but I was doing dishes, vacuuming, dusting, etc. while also having all the yard work and car care responsibilities. She dictated how I fixed my hair and how I trimmed my nails. She even tried to teach me how to shave once when it dawned on her that she’d better let dad handle that.

    I really thought all this was actually good and shaping me into a good man. When I got married, I gave my wife all the power and freedom I could because, in my mind, I thought this would ensure her happiness. I thought she would love me and shower me with grateful affection. I imagined she would respond with little thoughtful gestures of taking care of me.

    Nothing could’ve been further from the truth.

    We now live in a sexless marriage. She seems apposed to doing anything to for me i.e. my laundry, my lunch or even having dinner ready. Our house is a disaster because I simply can’t clean up after a wife and two daughters every day after coming home from a fulltime job. Speaking of which, I was working a second part-time job to follow the Ramsey plan for almost three years only to fail and give up. She simply wouldn’t commit to any budget we “agreed” upon. I still come home to find fast food bags and trash all over the place and I feel powerless to stop it.

    I want out. I love my daughters and I really don’t want a broken home for them, but I can’t do it anymore. Our lack of intimacy alone leads me through a daily storm of temptation and spiritual/emotional attack. No, I don’t technically have to loose that fight, but I do. My mind tells me that she’s wrong to treat me like this, but my heart points the blame at myself like I’m just not good enough at this husband stuff; I’m just not a good lover; I’m just not what a man is supposed to be.

    This article hits home for me. It makes sense and seems to connect the dots for me. When I left home, I was organized and disciplined. I was rock climbing, moutain biking, scuba diving and studying hard. I was a manly man with a solid plan. Today I don’t even recognize that guy. I feel like I don’t know anything. I think this article helps, but I want to understand more. I need some kind of salvation because I’m totally lost right now.

    • Just read the “pants” article. It answers a few questions and raises a few others. I’m not so sure the common princess can handle a man having anything go his way when they disagree. Lol, next time she asks where I want to go for dinner, I’m gonna tell her and when she says “No. I’m not in the mood for that.”, I’m not making any more suggestions. I’m just going tell her “You asked. That’s my answer.”

    • @John Boy
      search and read The Rational Male. It will give you the information you need to start rebuilding your life

  6. “Learn to say no to a woman.”

    In the same way and for the same reason a parent must learn to say “no” to their 2 year old.

    Forgive me if I decline the offer to be married to a 2 year old, especially a 2 year old with a lawyer and the law to back her up.

  7. Interesting article. I am in the middle of extricating myself from a very similar mess. I have been married for 21.5 years, together for 26. I have two great kids, and I have worked like a beaver for all of those years. I have invested well and developed a decent real estate portfolio, while my wife has not worked outside of the home for 16+ years. Marriage is very simply put, a terrible, no good, extremely shitty deal. The sense of entitlement is absolutely sickening. The result of this is that I get to give 50% of everything, and she contributed a little less than zero percent. She is a great mother, but she was and is not a single parent. I was very heavily involved at all times. Marriage is largely an obsolete institution. I wish it wasn’t, but my life has been hell. I have been separated for 4 months. There is ABSOLUTELY NO WAY IN HELL I WOULD EVER RETURN.

  8. Relationships outside of marriage, with vigilant birth control, are the only viable relationships for American men to have with women.

    It’s a hostile legal and social environment. The toxicity of Family Court is now the norm on college campuses and almost was the law of the land per the ABA, but for pushback from sane fa tons within that organization: https://reason.com/2019/08/13/affirmative-consent-aba-american-bar/ . Very nice to suggest deck chair rearrangement on the Titanic, but obviously better to urge men to the front of the lifeboat line. No more paleolithic chivalry – it’s long dead.

  9. Is there a way for a guy to be “emasculation-proof”? How can men (even young men) become secure in their identity so as not to become emasculated in their relationships?— Yes, there is. Make a picture in your mind, of your ideal state. Feel it real, at least twice a day, for five minutes.

    So we’re clear, to be emasculated means to be made weak or ineffective. In a marriage or relationship, if a man is emasculated it means he tends to take his cues from his wife or girlfriend and ultimately bends to her will.—–There is no feminist in “team”. Women have no respect for a man with no boundaries. That’s the reason they shittest men all the time- they want to know their boundaries.

    But the short answer is Yes, it is absolutely possible for men to become emasculation-proof. In fact, it’s critical men do if they want to be in a healthy relationship that serves their needs as much as it does women’s.—Wisdom speaks.

    ~

    Sadly, this is harder than ever for modern men to do, as they’ve been systematically feminized for decades. I say “systematically” because the shift in male identity has been no accident. It’s a direct result of:

    the rise in single motherhood and father-absent homes
    an educational system dominated by women
    the feminist movement, which insists men are unnecessary or even harmful to women
    the introduction of the New Age sensitive guy who’s presumably superior to the macho man
    —–right on, sister! and they have NO RESPECT for the NA sensitive guy, either. None. They walk all over them.

    All of these 20th century events and ideas led to a meteoric rise of soft males. Goodbye John Wayne and Clint Eastwood. Say hello to the beta male.
    —-being a beta cuck sucks. It’s really bad. I did a vision quest after my second divorce from
    a thot. Best thing I ever did. If a woman wasn’t 100% what I wanted, I set it up so she broke it off. That way it’s final. If they don’t like me, great- as in sales, the magic word is NEXT! I tell young men they have to get their game up- do well in school, take a job, and do great stuff in it SO THEY KNOW HOW. Ignore women until they are 30 or so. Then the power balance shifts. All you gotta do is decide to be an alpha.
    Nobody else will challenge that. Ask yourself what an alpha would do, and do that. Remember that feminists are land mines. As soon as you hear that feminist crap, leave. Ghost them. Don’t bother giving them feedback, just say “it’s not you, it’s me”, and it is, because you are the alpha. If you need action, there are plenty of older women looking. America is going to become a lot more Hispanic, black, and asian, because non-religious white chicks are selling crappy goods. Creo que es un idea grande, por que las mujeres espanyolas son la mejor!
    To be sure, male nature played a role in helping this transformation along. Men, as a rule, long for women’s approval and admiration and want to please the woman they love. And since the home tends to be the wife’s domain (no matter how much men and women share domestic duties), husbands often take direction from their wives on this front. That isn’t new.
    What is new is that women have been groomed to believe men and society owe them. As a result, women either knowingly or unknowingly pull rank in their relationships—which makes the relationship hugely imbalanced.

    Of course, not all women do this. But they’re the exception rather than the rule.

    The reason they’re not the rule is because we in the West encourage women and girls to put themselves first at all times, as though they’re superior to men. We consistently put women’s needs, desires and rights above men’s needs, desires and rights. The notion that men even have rights eludes us.

    This article, entitled “She Isn’t High Maintenance. You’re Just Low Effort,” is a consummate example.

    “She deserves someone who’ll treat her right even when she makes a mistake. She deserves someone who’ll try constantly to prove his love, his admiration and his commitment to her. You don’t get to be mediocre.”

    This mental conditioning is precisely what modern women are exposed to every day. They’ve absorbed a steady drip of girl power since the day they were born, and the result is the emasculation of men.

    So how does the average guy who’s been groomed to wear skinny jeans and to wear his emotions on his sleeve and to do the diapers and the dishes (relax: I’m not suggesting men not do diapers and dishes) and to say “we’re pregnant” instead of “my wife is pregnant” retain his identity and avoid emasculation?

    If you’re the parent of a son, you can do your part by empowering your boys to have just as much of a voice as girls do. And if you’re a grown man, well, wake up. Despite what the culture teaches, you matter just as much as women do. Don’t allow the equality narrative to tell you otherwise.

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