American Women Need a New Life Script

A growing segment of the female population is hanging on by a thread. These women have a sense of why they’re unsettled, but their feelings are taboo so they don’t feel at liberty to address them.

Who are these women?

They’re the college-age women who want nothing more than to get married and have kids but don’t dare admit that’s the extent of their plans.

They’re the women who did everything right: they stayed in school for years and got degree upon degree. They found a career they love, but the novelty has worn off. Now it’s just 24/7 work that keeps them from having a life.

They’re the wives who want to stay home with their kids but can’t because they made all the wrong decisions prior to marriage that undermined their ability to do so.

They’re the wives who are the family breadwinners but had no intention or even desire to end up in that boat.

I know these women exist because I hear from them every day. They are tired. They are frustrated. They’re lonely. And their marriages, for those who have them, are in shambles. They’re not enjoying motherhood at all.

These women deserve our attention. Unfortunately, it isn’t popular to acknowledge they exist because to do so would undermine the status quo. Because if women don’t agree to live the same lives as men and feel happy about it, well, there goes 40 years of feminism.

But these unhappy women, who were officially recognized in 2009, need to know the truth.

They need to know that if they want to marry on the younger side—typically not before 25, though, since 60% of couples married between ages 20-25 end in divorce—they’re not foolish or reactionary. They’re smart. They need to know that if they don’t want to work full-time and year-round when they become mothers, they will in fact be the norm. The majority of married mothers with children at home are either not employed or are employed part-time. A mere 28% of married mothers are “working mothers,” or wives who work full-time and year round.

And many of these women are not doing well.

Women like Tina, for instance—a married, full-time working mother of three children under six, who, if she were pressed and felt free to speak the truth, would say that motherhood sucks. It’s not at all what she envisioned. She’s stressed out and sleep deprived. Her kids sleep in the marital bed. Her son has major behavioral problems. Her marriage is strained to the breaking point.

Or Heather, who’s the breadwinner in her family and has an almost sexless marriage. I hear from her regularly. Her unemployed husband takes on some of the at-home tasks, but this modern arrangement is not working out.

Most nights, I fall asleep on the floor of the kids’ room once I’ve put them to bed. But I know I have to get up to pack their lunches for the next day if I want them to have something to eat besides leftover Taco Bell or a ketchup sandwich in their lunch bags.

My husband told me he doesn’t think of me as his wife but rather, as his partner. I just wonder when it is that I’ll reap any benefits from having a “partner” in this life, beyond getting the occasional oil change done in the convenience of my own garage and my kids having the approximation of a father in their lives. I’ve come to think of him as less of a “partner” and more of an incestuous teenage roommate who sometimes pays his rent on-time.

Then there are the single gals like Laura, who at 34 has priced herself out of the dating market. She’s extremely successful but very unhappy because she can’t find a good man to date, let alone to marry. By focusing exclusively on her career, Laura’s choices have dwindled considerably. The men she’d like to date are either already married or are interested in younger women. She gets the leftovers.

Or Kelsey, who at 30 is rethinking every decision she’s made. She has been living with a man for three years who has no plans to marry her, despite insisting that day will come.

If I could go back in time, I would have accepted the fact earlier on that I should also plan accordingly for the other things that make a well-rounded life—including marriage, family, career and a partner who’s on the same page.

These are real women—I’m not making them up. And there are thousands more just like them. Their lives are a hot mess for one reason.

They were feminists’ guinea pigs.

Feminists claim to speak on behalf of women, but it’s all a ruse. Feminists couldn’t care less about women. Their movement is a political one, pure and simple. It seeks power at your expense.

The only way out of this madness is for women to create a new life script, one that takes into account what they want rather than what society wants them to want. They need to map out their lives, or modify the lives they now have, in a way that’s countercultural to its core.

Stop doing what you’re told and start doing what you want. Turn off the TV. Ignore the news media. Stop reading women’s magazines. Ignore what your friends are doing.

Your happiness literally depends on it.

Suzanne Venker

Suzanne Venker is an author, columnist and relationship coach known as The Feminist "Fixer.” She helps free women from feminist lies so they can find lasting love with men. Suzanne's newest book, WOMEN WHO WIN at Love: How to Build a Relationship That Lasts, will be published October 2019.

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Comments

  1. So, so true. Keep speaking out. The younger generation is starting to look around and realize how miserable the generation of women before them are. I teach a marriage class for women and last week a single woman in her early twenties told me that she had for so long been saying that she didn’t need a man, but since taking my class, she has been freed to admit that marrying a manly man and having kids is what she truly wants. She told me that acknowledging that truth has set her free and softened her approach to other people because the chip on her shoulder is gone. It has opened her whole world and she has changed and is happier. Women just don’t get that they were created with a role to fulfill and they won’t find true fulfillment outside of fulfilling that role for which they were designed. Please keep at it, I use you and writings as a resource all the time. Thank you!!

  2. Yes! Exactly what I’ve been saying for years.
    American women have been sold a raw bill of goods that they should be “equal” to men!
    Who wants that? Sexual “freedom”, advanced education, money can’t buy “empowerment”. Feminists have silenced women and abortion on demand has terribly abused two generations of women.
    American women have been played.
    We were never meant to be equal – by the grace of God- we are uniquely superior (don’t let men know : )
    Thank You Suzanne for getting the truth out – I’m with You and the what I’m calling the Titus Challenge ; )

    • “by the grace of God- we are uniquely superior (don’t let men know : )”

      Oh, I (we) hear you. But, you are quite NOT superior. 🙂

  3. I make 4x my wife’s salary (Professor of Engineering).

    I am the final decider in our home on all issues.

    And my final decision on all issues is to always do what my wife says (I have a Ph.D. — I’m not stupid :-)) .

    In ten more years, with the kids having moved on, I will retire, stay home and keep the house clean. She will go back to school to study Latin (her dream). Our kids are well rounded and stable.

  4. Your arguments lay out the sad picture of reality for many young people – not just young women. I know many young men who are left disoriented and discouraged by the career-first-and-foremost attitude of the young women they meet here in the metro D.C. area. Many of these twenty-something men, most with marriage hopes, are increasingly left feeling rejected, purposeless, and with fading hope of ever having a real family / home / children of their own. It does not take a genius to see that a society in which marriage and stable family life crumbles is not just going to leave a bunch of lonely women and unhappy men. Society itself already shows disturbing signs of coming apart – purposeless and unattached men in large numbers make for nothing but trouble. Open the pages of any big city or rural newspaper. Or read Charles Murray’s book, “Coming Apart” – it describes what is happening only too well. The feminist movement did bring some needed changes in law and social attitudes over the past 60 years. It has been particularly advantageous for single, childless, highly educated, highly talented, and very success-driven career women. But very large numbers of American women – probably a majority and especially those who want a traditional marriage, children, and a meaningful family life – have been left worse off in very significant ways. I’m glad Ms. Venker is taking a stand and calling attention to all this.

    • “Many of these twenty-something men, most with marriage hopes, are increasingly left feeling rejected, purposeless, and with fading hope of ever having a real family / home / children of their own.”

      How many men really want to marry in their their 20s? Women in their 20s are NOT exactly getting (and rejecting) marriage proposals *en masse*. (More typically, even women who hope to marry young find that men aren’t willing to commit.) For a few decades now, men have said “the 20s are playtime”. After a while women said, “okay, fair enough; the 20s are playtime”. It seems that both men and women are ready for marriage and family by their late 20s to early/mid 30s. That seems to be the optimal compromise–time enough for education, career development, and personal growth, then family formation in time to beat the “biological clock” for almost all women. (Those who are dead set on having kids from their own eggs have gotten the memo about not waiting until 38 or 40 to start trying; but many women are fine with donor eggs or (better yet) ADOPTION as a backup. (There. Are. Children. Who. Need. Homes.)

      • Terry , I’m an old geezer! My late wife and I raised five pretty good kids. But she always was centered on our family. The young guys I’m in contact with either dislike or fear women (especially in the work place) . Marriage, to them, is anon starter and a dangerous proposition. Sad. This the real world! I sure don’t know to fix this ocean of hostility. Glad for my marriage it made me better man

  5. So it’s all about women?

    You are missing the point.

    Men had to listen to the feminist diatribe too and now it didn’t work out for women men are meant to just pretend like it never happened.

    These women need to take some ownership of the mess they were a part in creating.

    Don’t like having to live like men are expected to live? Well tough, you made your bed, now lie in it.

  6. I want to add one more comment (aside from the comic one last night).

    One reason I think feminists do this to women is ALSO to attack men.

    You see, in my life, my wife took care of the kids and I was free to work. My career advanced. I had no worries about home, when I was at work. I had the best and most beautiful woman on earth, at home. Naturally, this only happens in life when a man gives himself to his wife (and there is trust that the marriage will not break).

    The reason feminists want women to work is, in some cases, to obstruct the advance of men like me. For if all women were working, and men like me did not have a wife at home to care for the kids, then men like me would not be able to work so much and then would not present an obstacle to feminists.

    I cannot tell you how many times, feminist women in academia would take the privilege of reminding me that the only reason my career was advancing was that my wife was at home (that really pissed me off). I would tell this to my wife and even she got angry. She allowed me to respond “no, my career is mine alone.” (I would never have been so arrogant to say that, unless I first checked with my partner in life). I responded that way because I was often livid that these feminists DARED to comment on my internal marriage. If I did that to them, they’d have been furious. (My wife KNOWS that I KNOW, my life would not have been possible without here — but I will NEVER admit that to a feminist.)

  7. Feminism eats its children. Talk about a disruption. 60 plus years of available birth control and female liberation gives us our fem centric, hypersexualized go girl raunch culture. Lol The dating market is filled with women who “priced themselves out of the market”. What a diservice the fem movement has put upon our whole society. Very few of us are happy. Our socail norms are obliterated, children negelcted and on meds only the priveledged can afford to even try to have a healthy functional families and we continue to go down the path of progressive ideals. Post-modernism and the re-buke of traditionalism is to blame. I am a divorced 54 year old man with a beautiful 20 year old daughter. She knows how I feel. I told her to delay school (she’s a few classes but no pressure) and career focus on herself. Don’t be promiscuous. Hanna Rosin’s “Boys to the side” is a big lie. Find the right guy, older and with a career, someone you can look up too and want’s to invest in you and a family. Build your relationship first and then maybe children. Career can come later if at all. If it doesn’t work out I will help you.

    Boys are disincentivised and drop out and withdraw. Girls are embolden by calls for power and independence. Disinfranchised, mentally ill boys comment atrocious violent acts. Bored arrested young attractive femal teachers having intimate relationships with young students. Abortion and infanticide is held up as courageous and motherhood is derided by the Left. Connect the dots folks. The West is sliding backwards.

    The reality is for men, the marriage check has bounced. And many men have been woke. And therefore even less options for women as a result. It really is not that difficult to see once it’s pointed out to you. Google “Divorce Inc.”.

    I find the women my age that I try do date not desirable. Bossy, overly opinionated, uncomprimising with attitude. I find it more natural to date younger women who choose to allow me to lead. Give me elegant, refined and demure. Call me anachronistic and a sexist. I don’t care. I am much happier for it.

    The Feminin imparitive and female ‘hypergamy’ has brought western civilization to the brink. The patriarchy is subverted, welcome to the matriarchy.

    “Invested Parenting” used to be a largely held common value of our culture and a hallmark of our civilization. Now it’s female solipism, self-indugence overt female sexuality, polyandry and lap dogs over children and child rearing.

    Men are constantly being accused of “toxic” behavior. I guess we’re just living up to the reputation given us. Or perhaps it’s only the perception and hatred of traditional masculine norms.

    Makes me want to go live in the mountains alone with the falcons. peace

  8. I would suggest that the largest issue for women from feminism – will be one that it did not just speak to them. Women need to start to understand – the reality of teachers acting like boys are broken girls so often in school, that the comment “it is different when a girl does it” the reality of having chased men from schools, and allowed books to be removed, and fathers to be disposed of – has also spoken to a generation of young men. When I look around at the boys today, look at my sons friends, and the idea of rushing into a relationship – does not seem there as it did when I was that age. The notion of marriage as a sanctum – a crucial partnership, does not seem there. What generations of women have traded upon, a trust that they will be active partners, and will act with honor – is not assumed, because it cannot be. It is that it has been made clear, that not only can women be abusive, they have been supported in being so – by other women – even if these were feminists. It is that women are no longer seen as being the nurturers they once were, nor assumed to be fair minded, because the worst of the worst, were given support and a pass.

    Sorry – but the reality of Sharon Osbourne and Wendy Williams getting a pass, when they made it clear – his pain, and his interests were not material – reached an audience of young men as well. If the notion of a return to family is envisioned – trust will need to be built – family law corrected, and women who abuse held to account, and men who are abused, supported.

  9. Suzanne, I have found this song by Lennon & McCartney expresses the melancholy lives of women you describe in your article.

    Every day she takes a morning bath she wets her hair
    Wraps a towel around her as she’s heading for the bedroom chair
    It’s just another day
    Slipping into stockings, stepping into shoes
    Dipping in the pocket of her raincoat
    It’s just another day
    At the office where the papers grow she takes a break
    Drinks another coffe and she finds it hard to stay awake
    It’s just another day
    Do do do do do do, it’s just another day
    Do do do do do do, it’s just another day
    So sad, so sad
    Sometimes she feels so sad
    Alone in her apartment she’d dwell
    Till the man of her dreams come to break the spell
    Ah, stay, don’t stand her up
    And he comes and he stays but he leaves the next day
    So sad
    Sometimes she feels so sad
    As she posts another letter to the sound of five
    People gather ’round her and she finds it hard to stay alive
    It’s just another day
    Do do do do do do, it’s just another day
    Do do do do do do, it’s just another day
    So sad, so sad
    Sometimes she feels so sad
    Alone in her apartment she’d dwell
    Till the man of her dreams come to break the spell
    Ah, stay, don’t stand her up
    And he comes and he stays but he leaves the next day
    So sad
    Sometimes she feels so sad
    Every day she takes a morning bath she wets her hair
    Wraps a towel around her as she’s heading for the bedroom chair
    It’s just another day
    Slipping into stockings, stepping into shoes
    Dipping in the pocket of her raincoat
    It’s just another day
    Do do do do do do, it’s just another day
    Do do do do do do, it’s just another day

    Songwriters: John Lennon / Neil Innes / Paul Mccartney
    Another Day lyrics © Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd., Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

  10. “Turn off the TV. Ignore the news media. Stop reading women’s magazines. Ignore what your friends are doing.”

    Would you pay a contractor to dump a load of garbage into your living room? Every day? Would you? A Native American elder told me our eyes eat images the way our mouths eat food, and we become what we eat. So true. TV is garbage. The news media is far advanced from Reich Minister of Propaganda Josef Goebbels ever dreamed of. Women’s magazines… I saw a fascinating article in Cosmo, about how the “purity” movement was messed up. I know many men, who if they see an edition of Cosmopolitan mag in a woman’s apartment, leave as soon as they can, and ghost her.

    Some years ago, I was in a hotel lounge, waiting. I heard this woman talking, to her friends. I have found I learn more when I listen. She talked about how hard it was to get a man, how men might date her once and then never return, how cruel they were to cut her off, and so forth. Her friends were all in the amen corner, agreeing how bad it was for her. As it was ending up, I got up to leave, and looked at the woman. She had a hairstyle my gramma would have been ashamed to wear, a mumu, and at least 100 lbs of excess body fat. I knew instantly what the problem was, but her girlfriends didn’t tell her.

    There is a Russian joke. Two Russians were talking enthusiastically about communism. Then one said, “You know, this is great stuff. Can we do it to the Georgians [a Russian state] first?” Fat acceptance, and living with feminists. What a great idea. Can we do it to the soyboys first?

    Let us imagine a man, homeless, unshaven, stinky, bad clothing, overweight, asking for money, an odor of alcohol around him. What woman would do anything but avoid him? Yet American women demand that men pay for a home, put up with bad hygiene, pay for expensive, useless clothing, tolerate their overweight, frequent requests for money, and addictions… I see more and more American men going MGTOW, going Galt, because AWALT.

    American women no longer have any idea what patience and resilience are. They want the 1% of men that score a 10 on the horizontal scale, for being hot, and 10 on the vertical scale, for having money, and expect to be waited on hand and foot.

    American men know that women who score 9-10 on the horizontal, hot scale will cheat on them, so they focus more on the 7-8 range, who have good hearts. The vertical scale for women runs 4-10, for insanity. There are no women under 4, on the Insanity scale, because they don’t exist. Men look for a 4-5 on the insanity scale. Men know that women above about a 5 on that scale are extremely dangerous, and must be avoided.

    I enjoy talking with black people. They don’t have nearly the BS in their heads that whites do. My bus driver is Caribbean black. His wife dumped him, she was 45, figured she could do better. Put him in jail, on false charges. Then she discovered that she couldn’t do any better than him, and it only took 5 bad boys to figure this out. Now she wants him back. He knows he can’t trust her, so he … just said “no”. And she can’t understand why. Black women have a very difficult time finding husbands… because black men simply are nowhere near as stupid as white men [yeah, I’m white, and I know of what I speak.]

    My neighbor was bankrupted by his ex, in 8 years of divorce court. She whipped the kids with a belt buckle, and even thick wire. Courts did nothing. Well, now she calls him up to complain she can’t find a boyfriend. Umm, I wonder why… her own sons will not speak to her for any reason.

    I did the Bill Burr thing, I asked a young guy who lives nearby if he’d like to enter a lottery, with an over 50% chance of losing half his assets, or more, and half his after tax income for 22 years. He looked at me as if I was crazy. I said, “just get married!” and smiled. He totally cracked up. Because it’s true.

    American women are all princesses; they run alcohol, drugs, and wild partying through their systems, play the field, passing out their sexual dowry to bad boys… and then, when they hit 38, they hit “the wall” like Wile E. Coyote, looking 10 years older than they are, and start looking for a husband. You see it in personals ads… “I’ve had my fund [passing it out free to bad boys], and I’m ready to settle down [to having lots of moods, and expensive addictions, for you to pay for.] Looking for Prince Charming [so I can make your life a living hell, and destroy you.] And there aren’t many takers… I wonder why.

    Bitch all you want, about traditional gender roles. We are here because they existed. Women are tired of their traditional gender roles, I get that. Cool. Men are tired of theirs. They are tired of being told to “man up”, to put up with a woman who is borderline bipolar, entitled, who still plays with bad boys when he’s at work because she’s addicted to them. They are tired of being drained of their energy, money, possessions, time, and everything else. The birthrate in the USA declines every year.

    And then, the single moms… I know one, in a church I go to. She’s gorgeous, wears skin tight clothing. She has 2 kids. Her boyfriend is in a very special state institution, which uses a lot of concrete and steel, and barbed wire, for decoration. She clearly likes bad boys. She’s looking for a beta cuck to drain, to pay the $250K plus it will cost to raise her kids… while she plays around with more bad boys, while beta boy is at work.

    I remember the bad boys in college. Women swarmed them, they could have a different woman every night, if they wanted. I lived with a bad boy, in a college dorm. He turned away more than he got, and he got a staggering amount. It came to him, he didn’t have to go looking.

    Oddly enough, some of those beta boys were a bit irritated by this. You know, working hard in school, improving yourself… meant nothing, when it came to women.

    I met Brooke Medicine Eagle, at one of Tom Brown Jrs courses. She said that Native women told her that women shape men- because men imitate the men women choose to sleep with. We are becoming a culture of bad boys, for this reason.

    My first wife ran off with a bad boy. Poor lad had no idea what he was getting into. She got pregnant right away, to nail him down. He told me her leaving me was all my fault. OK. I saw him
    12 years later. He had pain written all over his face. He knew he messed up bigtime. That ex of mine lives in homeless shelters, refusing her psych meds, now. May Allah grant you
    patience, lad, for you’ll need it. Her own daughters won’t talk to her.

    Sin comes to us as temptation, attractive temptation. For those who aren’t centered… it is irresistible.
    It comes at a very high price. Ben Franklin noted that the school of hard knocks charges a very high tuition, but fools refuse to learn, anywhere else.

  11. The question to ask here is; are the men the problem? I’d say no, not at all really. Men can snap into serious masculine adulthood once they are given a mission.

    And what is wrong with working class men? Do they have cooties? I’m not a doctor, perhaps Suzanne or any one of you good fellow readers can answer that.

  12. Find a man? Ain’t nobody here but us fish bicycles. “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle”- Gloria Steinem. What she says about men would meet the definition of hate speech, were it applied to any other group. I don’t know of any group that likes hate speech being directed at them.

    My dad was a Depression/WW II generation guy. He told me that being a father was really looked up to, you advanced faster at work, you had more status, it was something to aspire to. Back then. Now, who cares? You’re just Homer Simpson, or Al Bundy, or… some dummy. No, what people respect is bad boys. I saw them in college, it was like women lined up at their door, some nights. You get more of what you respect. Remember Gresham’s law? Bad money [paper] drives out good money [silver]. Works with men, too. Bad boys get offered more than they can follow up on, you know what I mean. Beta bucks lads, who are only good for their wallets, get negative respect- gross disrespect. Who wants that? The Rockefeller foundation, and others, funded feminism. Ms. Magazine got subsidies, for many years.

    I got custody of my daughter, after my ex monkey-branched me, into hypergamy. I had to change my career, but hey, she’s my kid. She now has 2 kids, a loving husband, and is doing great. She made better decisions than I did, when I was her age. Her husband was, well, really good husband material, and kind of a nerd. My daughter told me she heard me say to ask for and follow up on what you really want. She went after him. Now she “has him right where he wants to be”, as my mother used to say. A good woman? Who doesn’t waste money, who treats him right, takes care of the kids, and is bright? Proverbs talks about that, some.

    My wife has a friend, in Spain, who is really into feminism. She had a good boyfriend, and she drove him away, with moods, being sick a lot, and generally expecting to get a lot more energy from him than she gave. Vampires do not make good wives. He moved on. She paid a thousand Euros to a matchmaker site, found another guy. Drove him away. Now she plays with illegal aliens, of which there are many, in Spain. She was with a Rumanian guy, for three years. He was milking her for all the cash he could get. She finally dumped him, after she found out he was milking four women at once. Well, heck, why not. I wish her well, but her parents are very worried about her.

    A man over 30 starts thinking about marriage. He asks his buddies, and older men, for advice. They tell him about their friends who were put through a guillotine in court, slaughtered, and hung up to bleed out. He gets, umm, cautious. I’m going to discuss something that one doesn’t see in print, much. It is called evasion, in the military. Basically, you set a strong intent, that you are invisible. I used it in Basic Training, the drill sergeants didn’t even know who I was, till the fifth week. I read about a guy in Vietnam, left behind on a patrol. The Cong came through the village. He hid behind a small pot, nowhere near big enough to conceal him, and became invisible. Tom Brown, Jr., teaches this sort of thing, as one example. The Cong never saw him. If I don’t feel good about a woman, I “ghost” her in just this way, I lower my profile in her perception. I don’t talk to her beyond what is absolutely necessary. There is nothing so motivating as seeing the bodies hanging in iron cages at the city walls, which is how men see divorce court. Or as Jerry Seinfield said, divorce court is where your wallet is ripped out through your genitals. Or heart is ripped out. Whatever.

    I tell young lads not to even think of marriage before 30. I tell them they simply don’t know enough to avoid the vampires before then. I tell them my story, married at 24, and career simply destroyed, by a monkey- brancher. She actually contacted me, through my daughter, a few years ago, to re-establish contact, as a slingback. I just said “no”. I learned my painful lesson once, don’t need a repeat. I tell the lads about the cloak of invisibility they need to wear, around vampires. Yeah, it works good, and I learned about it in 1984, before JK Rowling even started writing the HP books.

    I worked hard in college- over 40 hrs/week, with full time classes. I had no time for extra-curricular. Or the women, either. I saw lesbians decide to lose weight, and try to catch a man, so they could get the annuity of child support. Wow. That was in the early 80’s. It’s worse, now. I didn’t have sex before marriage, didn’t have the time. Too much risk, anyway. It’s like the old joke about what do you give the woman who has everything? Penicillin. Remember the 36 questions that Buzzfeed put out? One of them was why can’t women have sex with as many partners as they want. Uhhh, can you spell STD’s? Can you spell habits of easy sex, with bad boys, which will not magically vanish after the wedding? Yeah, a woman with millions of happy customers, just like McDonald’s, yeah, I want to put a ring on that and get it off the market. American women do not seem to understand that actions have consequences. My first wife did have sex before marriage, and after our daughter was born, she kept boyfriends. Once in the habit… if we hadn’t had a kid, I’d have given her a one way bus ticket to her parents, and said, “Hey, it’s been great, but…” We did have a kid, and in time I got custody. She had five boyfriends after our daughter was born. How do I know that? She TOLD me about them. Number five was stupid enough to marry her. He told people I knew that he preferred messing with married women- no responsibility. She gave him an education. He got to learn all about the perils of dealing with bipolar women who refuse to deal with their problems. Revenge is mine, saith the Lord, and they did far more to themselves than I could have.

    In Spain, men above about 40 just don’t get married. They’ll keep girlfriends, but they won’t get married. Formerly, in Spain, if an unmarried woman got pregnant, the man had an option: deny parentage. In this case, the child took the mother’s name, in the Registro Civil, and the man was not liable for any support. The other option was to claim parentage, the child took the father’s patronymic, was registered in the Registro Civil, and then he was liable. But divorce was very difficult to get in Spain, until recently. The result of this was that women liked to be with a boyfriend for a few years, asexually, so she could be sure she’d trust him. Now Spain has adopted American style divorce laws, and there is more and more chaos.

    My father, of the WW II generation, told me the only reason for a man to get married was to provide a stable environment for children to grow up in. Every other advantage to marriage could be had in other ways. Men don’t have that any more. Over half of all marriages end in divorce, and 70-90% of them are initiated by women- and 90% of those initiations are done by college-educated women.

    Women do not seem to understand that their early to mid-20’s are the optimum time to get married. “40 is the new 30”. Uhh, no it’s not. Not to men. American women do not seem to understand that aggregate behavior- in groups- is the reality, not the odd individual event. Yes, there are women who marry younger men, it happens. It’s not the way to cast your bets, though.

    Entering into a relationship demands trust. For the most part, American women cannot be trusted. It’s that simple. I avoid people I cannot trust. So do most men.

    Suzanne, you are right on the money. Traditional roles are time-tested. The other stuff isn’t.

  13. I heard this:

    Dear Future Husband

    Dear future husband
    Here’s a few things
    You’ll need to know if you wanna be
    My one and only all my life
    Take me on a date
    I deserve a brake
    And don’t forget the flowers every anniversary
    ‘Cause if you’ll treat me right
    I’ll be the perfect wife
    Buying groceries
    Buy-buying what you need
    You got that nine to five
    But, baby, so do I
    So don’t be thinking I’ll be home and baking apple pies
    I never learned to cook
    But I can write a hook
    Sing along with me
    Sing-sing along with me (hey)
    You gotta know how to treat me like a lady
    Even when I’m acting crazy
    Tell me everything’s alright
    Dear future husband
    Here’s a few things you’ll need to know if you wanna be
    My one and only all my life
    Dear future husband
    If you wanna get that special lovin’
    Tell me…

    and I sang this:

    Dear Woman Seeking

    Dear Woman Seeking
    Here’s a few things
    You’ll never know if you wanna be
    My one and only all my life
    You’re not worth the effort
    And don’t deserve a break
    You won’t be given flowers every anniversary
    ‘Cause you won’t treat me right
    I’ll find a perfect wife
    Who knows how to love
    Giv-giving me what I need
    I got that nine to five
    And, baby, so do you
    I won’t be thinking you’ll be home and baking apple pies
    You never learned to cook
    So I’ll ignore the bait
    Sings alone, my heart
    Without you I am so happy (hey)
    I do know how to treat a lass like a lady
    And I stay away from fems acting crazy
    And all in my life stays alright
    Dear woman seeking
    Keep on seeking, you convinced me I don’t wanna be
    Your one and only all your life
    Dear woman seeking
    Being alone’s better than the torture…
    Ghost me…

    Suzanne, you da boss! You rule! Yeah!

  14. Thank you so much Suzanne for these pearls of wisdom!! This article is seriously life changing and I’m ready to change the way feminism and culture has conditioned me to think and behave. I’m just opening my eyes to how I haven’t seen the value in marriage and how sad and wrong that is. If broken homes and single parent households continue to be the norm, I’m afraid to see how much further society will decline.

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