Coming July 13!
The Suzanne Venker Show

So, BIG news. And I’m so excited to finally be able to share it. As of July 13, I will be on the radio. The Suzanne Venker Show will air every Saturday at noon and will also be available as a podcast, so anyone can listen from anywhere in the world at anytime.

We will be bringing in authors, experts, psychologists and everyday folks who are making a difference by sharing politically incorrect truths about men and women, marriage and families, sex and relationships.

My inaugural guest is Dr. Laura Schlessinger, and I’m super excited about the additional guests I have lined up. Here’s the page with that information.

There are several ways to hear The Suzanne Venker Show:

You can tune in LIVE on Saturdays at noon by going to this site and clicking on “Listen Live” at the top right OR if you’re in MO or IL, just turn on 105.3FM.

Alternatively (and my personal fav), you can simply type in The Suzanne Venker Show on iTunes or on your phone’s podcast app and hit subscribe. 

Those of you who are familiar with my work as an author and columnist know that my passion is helping people reject cultural trends that are harmful and counterproductive to their happiness and well-being. To that end, The Suzanne Venker Show has one main goal: to help you and the people you love feel secure in your beliefs about what you know is right and confident in your desire to speak your mind.

I’m so looking forward to bringing you life-changing content the media won’t touch with a ten-foot pole. Thank you in advance for your support, and please tell all your friends and family members to listen in!

Here’s to hitting the airwaves,

Suzanne

Suzanne Venker

Suzanne Venker is an author, columnist and radio host known as The Feminist Fixer. She helps free women from feminism so they can find lasting love with men. Suzanne's newest book, WOMEN WHO WIN at Love: How to Build a Relationship That Lasts, will be published October 2019.

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  1. Here’s a start.

    Marriage is the foundation of society

    Continued decay in the current family structure means the decay of civilization — as George Gilder explains in Sexual Suicide (1973). These trends continued for another decade without an apocalypse, so he reissued the book in 1986 as Men and Marriage. From the publisher’s description…

    “Drug Addiction, lack of education, welfare, children in poverty, violence, unemployment, single-parent homes-these critical problems facing our country today. Many ideas have been presented regarding the cause of these problems, but only George Gilder speaks directly and with authority about their one undeniable source: the disintegration of the American family.

    “Men and Marriage examines the loss of the family and the well-defined sex roles it used to offer and how this loss has changed the focus of our society. Poverty, for instance, comes from the destruction of the family when single parents are abandoned by their lovers or older women are suddenly divorced because society approves of the husband’s new, younger girlfriend.

    “Gilder claims that men will only own up to their paternal obligations when the women lead them to do so and that this civilizing influence, balanced with, proper economic support, is the most important part of maintaining a productive, healthy, loving society.”

    Gilder describes the world as it once was.

    “Men lust, but they know not what for; they wander, and lose track of the goal; they fight and compete, but they forget the prize; they spread seed, but spurn the seasons of growth; they chase power and glory, but miss the meaning of life.

    “In creating civilization, women transform male lust into love; channel male wanderlust into jobs, homes, and families; link men to specific children; rear children into citizens; change hunters into fathers; divert male will to power into a drive to create. Women conceive the future that men tend to fell; they feed the children that men ignore. …

    “Modern society relies on predictable, regular, long-term human activities, corresponding to the sexual faculties of women. The male pattern is the enemy of social stability. This is the ultimate source of female sexual control and the critical reason for it. Women domesticate and civilize male nature. They can jeopardize male discipline and identity, and civilization as well, merely by giving up the role.“

    It never occurred to Gilder that since WWII feminism proposed doing exactly that — and that today young women are following their advice. Work, independence, and easy sex until 28, then marriage (the party plus fake vows) followed by work and children.
    Marriage Matters: Perspectives on the Private and Public Importance of Marriage (2012).

    The crisis of marriage

    Marriage has been an institution in flux for centuries, but the rate of change accelerated after California Governor Ronald Reagan signed the revolutionary Family Law Act of 1969, retroactively abolishing the “traditional” binding contract of marriage and replacing it with no-fault divorce. This created our present system of serial monogamy (a series of monogamous pairings with the pretense of being for life). The feminist revolutions which followed forced further changes in marriage. Since then we’ve slid along the slippery slope, and still cannot see what lies at the end.

    Let’s start this examination at an interview with Janice Shaw Crouse. She gives a status report on marriage today: “Bachelor Nation: 70% of Men Aged 20-34 Are Not Married“…
    “Far too many young men have failed to make a normal progression into adult roles of responsibility and self-sufficiency, roles generally associated with marriage and fatherhood” … The high percentage of bachelors means bleak prospects for millions of young women who dream about a wedding day that may never come. “It’s very, very depressing … They’re not understanding how important it is for the culture, for society, for the strength of the nation to have strong families.”

    Crouse sees the present but only in terms of yesterday’s norms. Today many young men reject the “normal progression into adult roles”. Many young women no longer “dream about a wedding day”, or are unwilling to make the compromises with a man to make that happen. As for the effect on society, it is just another of great experiments that we’re conducting — with our children as the lab rats.

    The numbers: marriage as it is and will be

    Pew Research provides detailed reports about the state of marriage, but is weak about the causes of these trends. Pew’s research shows that men’s weakening economic status vs. women renders many of them unmarriageable. The widening education gap guarantees that the economic gap will continue to widen. We already can see the effects rippling across society as women are moving on top of men in America. But they don’t mention that increasing rates of obesity take many young people off the “market” for marriage, that the increased availability of sex outside marriage reduces men’s incentives to marry, or the how easy divorce and child support make marriage a bad bet for men.

    As for the future, they assume the usual smooth curve — assuming that current trends continue and then stabilize. Such conservative forecasts are always wrong for transformative events, like the adoption of cell phones. These follow an “S” curve. Marriage is in the first stage of what we think is rapid change. Ahead lies the steep part of the curve, as we pass tipping points and radical change happens. Afterwards, when the new institutions take hold, does the curve stabilize. By then marriage will either be far less common — or unrecognizable.

    (a) More young people remain unmarried.

    Percent of young people unmarried (<35) has steeply risen steeply, from 56% to 61%, during the past decade (Pew Research).

    One theory about the cause: men are “going Galt”
    Men on Strike: Why Men Are Boycotting Marriage, Fatherhood, and the American Dream – and Why It Matters
    In Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged the wealthy “go Galt” and stepping away from the rat race to let the rest of society fend for itself. But now, in one of the most unanticipated turns of history, it appears that young men are doing so, preferring the easy enjoyments of casual sex, drugs, booze, sports, porn and computer games instead of pursuit of career advancement and women. Hundreds of websites for men espouse these new values. It’s described by psychologist Helen Smith in Men on Strike: Why Men Are Boycotting Marriage, Fatherhood, and the American Dream – and Why It Matters (2013). From the publisher’s description…

    “American society has become anti-male. Men are sensing the backlash and are consciously and unconsciously going “on strike.” They are dropping out of college, leaving the workforce and avoiding marriage and fatherhood at alarming rates. The trend is so pronounced that a number of books have been written about this “man-child” phenomenon, concluding that men have taken a vacation from responsibility simply because they can. But why should men participate in a system that seems to be increasingly stacked against them?

    “As Men on Strike demonstrates, men aren’t dropping out because they are stuck in arrested development. They are instead acting rationally in response to the lack of incentives society offers them to be responsible fathers, husbands and providers. In addition, men are going on strike, either consciously or unconsciously, because they do not want to be injured by the myriad of laws, attitudes and hostility against them for the crime of happening to be male in the twenty-first century. Men are starting to fight back against the backlash. Men on Strike explains their battle cry.”

    “The word ‘strike’ gives the idea that if marriage were more fair, men would opt back in. Some …say this is not true, that men have quit trying to get married and found alternate arrangements which are better suited for them. I think some men are on strike from marriage because it is a bad deal and others see marriage as obsolete and have quit trying altogether. Is strike the correct word? I don’t know.”

    Clear thinking about the problem

    Unlike the above analysts, who see the decline of marriage as resulting from men’s weakening interest and ability to marry, here’s a woman warning that women are a cause of falling marriage rates. “When people complain of men not marrying (even they who are able), they forget how little women offer in exchange for all they get by marriage. Girls are seldom taught to be of any use whatever to a man, so that I am astonished only at the numbers of men who do marry! Many girls do not even try to be agreeable to look at, much less to live with. They forget how numerous they are, and the small absolute need men have of wives; but, nevertheless, men do still marry, and would oftener marry could they find mates — women who are either helpful to them, or amusing, or pleasing to their eye.”

    This is from The Art of Beauty by Mary Eliza Joy Haweis (1883). Concerns about the state of marriage — like worries about the younger generation — are a commonplace of history. That doesn’t mean her worries were foolish. A stable functional society requires constant thought and effort about its basic institutions.

    To see women building a post-marriage society, look to the Nordic nations with their high numbers of single mothers. For example, Denmark — with its strong government financial support for single mothers, where donated sperm to single mothers is a rapidly-growing trend because women don’t need men — or perhaps men don’t want to become fathers (expressed in that article with a feminist spin: many men are “not ready for parenthood”, at least on the terms women offer).

    The first shot in this phase of the gender revolution
    To understand what’s happening I recommend the book that started the backlash to the feminist victory: The Myth of Male Power (1993). Warren Farrell shows that most of the assertions about the “patriarchy” — the superior position of men in America — is false.

    “The Myth of Male Power explains how almost all societies (American society in particular) are both matriarchal and patriarchal, how men’s and women’s roles provide unique benefits and limitations on each gender. Both men and women may be seen to be privileged and disadvantaged, each in different ways.

    “The focus of the book, as the title suggests, is on the male role. This is done not to slight women’s issues, but rather to supplement the ever-growing body of literature and research on gender issues which tends to frame the problems from an essentially female perspective.”

    Conclusions

    Today every society grapples with these questions. Saudi Arabia, Japan, Denmark, America — there are scores of paths to new structures for the family. I recommend learning from the successes and failures of others, remaining open to new ideas, and only slowly making changes to the legal structure of our core institutions.

    I predict that America will do none of these things. Rather we will act like monkeys in the control room of nuclear power plant — flipping switches and spinning dials. Armed with only ideology, we alter the core systems of our society without experimentation or testing. Much as the communists did in Russia and China. Perhaps this will work better for us than for them.

    Essential reading to understand how we got here

    The Privileged Sex by Martin van Creveld.

    “Ever since Betty Friedan published The Feminine Mystique back in 1963, all of us have been told that women are discriminated against, oppressed, exploited, and abused by men. The barrage of accusations is intense, relentless, and seems to have neither beginning nor end. But are the charges true? Do women really have a worse time of it than men?

    “This volume, one of the very few in any language, takes on these questions head on. Roaming far and wide, it examines many aspects of the problem as it has presented itself from the time of ancient Egypt right down to today’s most advanced Western societies. To anyone accustomed to the tsunami of feminist claims and complaints, the answers will come as a surprise.”

  2. There is a very simple set of reasons why men in the Western world avoid marriage, more and more. It’s not that are immature, or lazy. Instead, they are quite rationally responding to the major disincentives to get married.

    1. Men lose respect by getting married. Two generations ago, a man wasn’t fully adult until he was married with kids. Today, fathers are the dumdum with the flowered diaper bag at the mall, or a buffoonish TV dad in sitcoms and commercials. Today, father never knows best. Our toxic news media has 69 percent of mass media reporting and commentary on men was unfavorable, compared with just 12 percent favorable and 19 percent neutral or balanced.

    2. Men get less sex. Married men have more sex than single men, but far less than cohabiting men, and this gets worse over time. Married women are more likely to gain weight than women who are cohabiting without marriage.

    3. Men lose friends. Married men’s ties with friends from school and work tend to fade, after marriage.

    4. Men lose space. Suburban life eliminated male spaces in the main part of the house, and exiled men to attics, garages, basements. Remember ‘Juno’ when married guy Jason Bateman realized that in his entire huge, house, he had only a large closet to keep all the stuff he loved in.

    5. Men know they have high odds of losing assets, and their children. They know they face extremely asymmetrical risk. Plus, a large number of children are not the biological children of their apparent fathers. Paying child support for kids that aren’t theirs happens more and more.

    6. Men know they will lose in court. Family court is stacked against men. Women gain custody and child support far more.

    7. Men know they will lose their freedom. Debtor’s prison for child support is very real.
    And for men who can’t afford lawyers, none will be appointed. Fathers and Families found that it’s the men who are jailed rather than women: “A new report concludes that between 95% and 98.5% of all incarcerations in Massachusetts sentenced from the Massachusetts Probate and Family Courts from 2001 through 2011 have been men. Moreover, this percentage may be increasing, with an average of 94.5% from 2001 to 2008, and 96.2% from 2009 through 2011. It is likely that most of these incarcerations are for incomplete payment of child support. Further analysis suggests that women who fail to pay all of their child support are incarcerated only one-eighth as often as men with similar violations.”

    8. Single life is better than ever. The cost of marriage has skyrocketed. The cost of sex has tanked. Single men were once looked on with suspicion, passed over for promotion for important jobs, which usually valued “stable family men,” and often subjected to social opprobrium. It used to be difficult to have a love life that wasn’t aimed at marriage, and premarital sex was risky and frowned upon. Now, the single lifestyle is cool. Employers probably prefer employees with no conflicting family responsibilities. Video games, cable TV, and the Internet provide entertainment that didn’t used to be available. Falling birth rates and increasing single-motherhood mean more chaos.

    People- and men- respond to incentives. If you want more men to marry, it needs to be a more attractive proposition.

  3. You say your passion is helping people reject cultural trends that are harmful and counterproductive to their happiness and well-being.

    I respectfully disagree. You are fighting some extremely toxic, harmful, and counterproductive cultural trends, with the truth. You are Horatio at the bridge. Look that story up. It’s worth knowing about.

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