This article was originally published at Hitched.
Ladies, how well do you understand men? It’s possible the answer is: not very well.
Why would you? After all, you weren’t raised to become a wife and to take care of a husband. You were raised to rule the world and to take care of yourself.
But almost all women marry eventually (a majority to men)—and believe it or not, there are actual skills and knowledge required for being someone’s wife.
If you’re lucky, your mother or grandmother passed on some pearls of wisdom. If not, you may be shooting blanks.
Here are the 5 most important things you need to know about men:
1. Men are easy to please and quick to forgive. Men are so simple it’s ridiculous. Not simple as in dumb, as the culture would have you believe. Simple in that they have far fewer needs than women do.
What men want most of all is respect, companionship and sex. If you supply these basics, your man will do anything for you—slay the dragons, kill the beast, work three jobs, and so on. It’s that easy.
Even better is that when there’s disagreement, men are quick to forgive if you make a loving gesture toward reconciliation. That’s because men are visual creatures who respond well to women who are soft, gentle and kind.
Being naked when you apologize doesn’t hurt either.
2. Men live to serve the woman they love. All a man wants is for his woman to be happy and comfortable, and he’ll go to great lengths to make it happen. A man’s desire to make you happy is so automatic he’ll let you “win” just to keep the peace. And he’ll do it over and over again, until or unless he determines you cannot be pleased. Then he’ll break.
3. Men tend to understate their feelings, so you’ll have to read the signs. Men are a largely silent bunch, which can be annoying to women who talk far more than men do. But men’s silence can be a good thing! You can use it as a gauge since when your husband does tell you something, you know it’s important.
Unfortunately, too often men say they try to get their wives to hear them but that their thoughts fall on deaf ears. And most men, after a long spell of not being heard—because men, as a rule, are also very patient—will very likely act out. Don’t let it happen.
4. Men don’t like to fight with women. One of the most important things you can do to have a peaceful relationship is to agree with your man rather than to argue with him all the time. Men hate to fight with the woman they love; it doesn’t come naturally. They think of the woman they love as the person they need to love and protect, not go to battle with. Ergo, when you challenge your man, or when you fight back and say “no” to whatever he suggests, he will read that as disrespect. And nothing kills a marriage faster than disrespect.
So unless your guy asks you to do something illegal or immoral, try saying “yes” as often as you can and see how much easier your relationship gets!
5. A man’s identity is inextricably linked to his ability to provide and protect. Men equate work with self-worth. They are designed to provide and protect, whether it’s 1919 or 2019. If you usurp your man’s ability to provide for you—by living outside his means, by making more than he does, or by using money as a weapon—your relationship will become a ticking time bomb.
When a wife pulls rank in this way, the marriage is dramatically altered—particularly in the bedroom. Many relationships follow the same pattern. First, the wife starts to lose respect for her husband, then he begins to feel emasculated, and then sex stops. Don’t let this happen to you.
Bottom line: Understanding men—how they think, what they need, etc.—is critical if you want to build a relationship that lasts. The suggestions above may not be popular, but they’re true.
If you embrace them, you will succeed.