Yes, Gender Equality = Family Breakdown

This article was originally published at Washington Examiner

A new finding at Pew Research Center claims that gender equality—worldwide, although a distinction must be made between its goals in the West and its goals in undeveloped nations—has risen exponentially at the same time family ties have weakened considerably. 

And here’s the frustrating part: While “roughly half or more” of those surveyed concede the family unit has weakened, and that this is “a bad thing,” the results of the analysis reveal people “are strongly in favor of increased gender equality.”

In other words, people know the family unit has collapsed but see no link between it and the gender equality movement—despite the fact that the disintegration of the family occurred at the exact same time this movement became an integral part of the social fabric.

To be clear, I’m writing this specifically with respect to gender equality in the West. This movement is predicated on the idea that in order for the sexes to be equal, men and women must think and behave in similar fashion and make the same life choices. Women should run large companies and become career politicians at the same rate men do, in other words, and men should be at home raising children at the same rate women do. Only then will we have achieved equality.

This is what’s known as equality of outcome, and it might be a reasonable goal (a silly one, but a reasonable one) if there were no such thing as children. In fact, young, childless single women earn more than men! But children change the entire conversation, and always will.

Prior to the push for so-called gender equality (because honestly, what does that even mean?), it was understood that parents were responsible for raising their own babies, and that women—the sex that breastfeeds and that’s generally more responsive to babies’ needs—were in the best position to do so.

Then, in the 1960s, feminists came along to undermine the work and the value of motherhood. These women sold the narrative that motherhood isn’t a suitable career goal for educated women. Women, they insisted, should make a career the focus of their lives and pay other women (who are almost always less educated, thus implying children are better off with uneducated caregivers?) to do what mothers have historically done for free.

With that singular new mindset, everything changed. Because when you encourage women to reject their natural proclivity to build and to invest in marriage and family, there’s a domino effect that extends far beyond where the eye can see.

Thirty years later, here’s what we have to show for this new worldview: an epidemic of guilt-ridden and stressed-out mothers who know very little about how to raise kids; a triple increase in childhood obesity; chronic sleep deprivation for kids and adults alike; defiant schoolchildren who need anti-bullying programs to learn what their grandmothers could have taught them; and a culture that celebrates divorce as a panacea for discontent.

That’s what family breakdown looks like when women are taught to forget about sacrifice and the common good under the guise that doing so is necessary to achieve “equality” with men.

Imagine, hypothetically, if the gender equality movement disappeared tomorrow. Pretend, for a moment, that this bogus concept never entered the public sphere. Pretend women and men weren’t pitted against one another in a game of oneupmanship. Pretend each sex was encouraged to make choices commensurate with their true hearts’ desire, free of any thoughts of some political movement.

What do you think the family unit would look like then?

Exactly.

Suzanne Venker

Suzanne Venker is an author, columnist and radio host known as The Feminist Fixer. She helps free women from feminism so they can find lasting love with men. Suzanne's newest book, WOMEN WHO WIN at Love: How to Build a Relationship That Lasts, will be published October 2019.

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Comments

      • Liu says

        Two equal bar magnets, with a north pole meeting a north pole, and a south pole meeting a south pole… this is equality.

        The north meeting the south, in both cases… complementarity if that word exists, and balance. The Yin/Yang symbol does this.

      • Ajedrez says

        One useful test of success of a society, is its rate of reproduction- the babies, and how well trained the young are, for life. On both counts, our numbers are going down. College graduates are less able than ever, to do well in life. A high school graduate in 1920 did better in life- in career, in marriage, in raising children successfully, than many of today’s college graduates. Unless our society changes course, in a big way, it is going to vanish. Birthrate is the future. I am Caucasian. I have to say that stupid white people, including many women, in positions of power, are playing the violin, while the country burns.

  1. Karl says

    Gender equality is not even a reasonable goal Suzanne Venker. It’s roots are evil. Remember Adam and Eve. Satan said here Eve eat this apple and you can have it all. You can know both good and evil. And the fall began. Sin entered the world. Sounds a lot like feminism to me. Look women, you can have it all. Gender equality ensures the complete breakdown of the family unit which is the foundation for all societies in civilizations. So if you want to collapse a culture you introduce gender equality. There’s nothing reasonable or good about it. And even if you made men and women equal what good would it do anyway. It only erodes heterosexual relations. It puts men and women against each other. It takes away the most fundamental relationship through which men and women feel loved and understood and find value and meaning in this life. That’s how God intended it. Mess with God’s plan and you get the consequences we are now or living in.

    • Stephanie says

      Men should have expressed their need gor respect rather that demanding it through abuse, devaluation, and neglect.

      • Leroy says

        “Men should…” is something one hears from women. The world of what should be is not the world of what is. Men, and people generally, make decisions in the moment. Most people do not think, nor do they do what they “should”. It is irrational to expect any group of people to do what they “should” do.

  2. Steve D. says

    Almost all the women I know are miserable. The ones working either feel guilty about it because they leave their kids or, and no one talks about this, they simply don’t like working. I know doctors, lawyers, bankers, etc, who make huge incomes and are “successful” in the world’s terms and they don’t like it. They want to quit and hang out with their kids. The world tells them it’s crazy and they listen! Women who stay home are constantly looked down upon and made to feel inferior. It takes a lot of internal strength to just make your own decision and not be influenced by others.

      • Mary Ann says

        As many as 80% of divorces in the USA are initiated by women. The primary reason is that they are unhappy. They clearly expect someone else to make them happy. This is totally idiotic. The only way anybody can be happy, is to …decide… to be happy. To make the conscious choice to be happy. I have known, and know, happy women, and men. Every single one of them …chose… to be happy. Demanding that the tide conform to you is fruitless. The English King, Canute/Knut, was told by fawning courtiers that he could command the tides. He ordered that a chair be set up, on a beach. He commanded the tide not to come in. It still came in. If you fight the tide, you will lose. If you move with the tide, you get where you seek to go. I saw a survey of divorcees. A number of them regretted having gotten divorced. The number of women who abandon or divorce men, who then try to come back to them later, when they realize that the world is not what they thought it was, is astounding to me. I hear these tales often, from men. These women cannot understand that when you just destroy a man, in court, through divorce, you break off rapport. Other than obvious cases of physical abuse, or sociopaths, the divorced women I’ve seen are not very happy. Those with children are even less happy. And sociopaths are often the product of broken families. Divorce is not good for society.

        • Denise says

          absolutely!. . I’ve not actually researched the “80% women initiating divorce” stat, but I’ve theorized that for years; mostly from my dear hubs’ stories of his X. She obviously bought “the grass would be greener” lie and later acted like she could reverse time and un-do all the damage, all the betrayal, all the discord. And their grown children are tragically under-developed emotionally and relationally. Oh, they have mates and children, but try and connect on any deeper emotional or meaningful level with either of them (or their mates) and you’ll hit the bottom of the pool in 60 seconds.

  3. GWB says

    Normally, “correlation is not causation” would be the watchword.
    But, the two go so hand-in-hand, and the one change is so incredibly fundamental that there’s no possible way it’s not also a cause.

  4. Tom G says

    Silly Suzanne – everybody knows being a wage-slave for a big company and rich owners is far far better than being a mother, and maybe change dirty diapers for a few years, and caring for your own children! We know this to be true because the pay is better as a wage-slave.

  5. Bret says

    I’d be careful with that correlation thing, especially since it’s hugely complicated and there are an awful lot of other variables.

    Variables like:
    * Advances in all sort of technologies from communications (which enable more rapid spread of ideas) and things like entertainment (which may lower the need for family). For example, I’d guess that wide spread adoption of TV also correlates with family breakdown.

    * Home automation like the washing machine.

    * Better contraception like the pill, IUD, etc.

    * The fact that most careers and bread-winning don’t require strength any more.

    Don’t those also all correlate? And there are many, many more.

    • Liu says

      When society collapses, and there is no more labor saving technology… I’ve done wilderness survival. You stay busy 7 days/week. Think of what it was like on a farm, before mechanization. Gender roles are present in every indigenous culture on the face of the earth, for a reason. Those who didn’t have gender roles died off.

  6. Mark says

    Put 2 positive poles together, on magnets. They repel each other.
    Put the negative and the positive pole together. They attract.
    The greater the gradient between one pole and another, the more current there is.

    You want an alive relationship? You need polarity, not equality.

  7. Jamshid says

    Suzanne, you da best! It’s not equality. It uses fake comparables. The feminists say that women can play around as much as men, with no consequences. Which men? The bad boys? Yeah, I saw women almost lining up at the doors of the bad boys, in my college dorm. They had no interest in me. Fantastic! I concentrate on getting my education. And never played with those bad girls. What do bad boys do? They dump women. Why not, they’re playing a numbers game. I actually never did the wild thing until I was married, yeah, I’m male. I chose not to. My brother and I don’t sleep with women unless we are totally committed to them, like in a long term relationship. Why? If you, as a man, can’t see yourself married to a woman, then DON’T sleep with her. Things happen. The raincoat gets a hole in it. She takes the raincoat out of the trash, and squeezes it into her. She has an immaculate conception. Whatever. And now, my beamish lad, you are skuhrude. Screwed. I remember one of those gorgeous, gorgeous bad girls, in my first year of college. She set me on fire, I mean like I had to turn away, so I avoided her. Something didn’t feel right about her. Just 3 years later, I saw her again. She looked baaaaaaaaaaaad, I mean like a crack addict. I have no idea what she did. Don’t care. Don’t have to care. God bless you, Avis, wherever you are, if you’re even still alive. Even the nice women can be nutso at times, and the crazy ones… you’re safer in a mental ward, and I worked as a staffer in a mental ward. Crazy women are not better in bed. They are explosive ordnance, very sensitive to any movement, and they will explode on contact. Find a couple that’s been married 50 years. Get them talking. Neither is a bad boy/girl. Both are totally RESPECTFUL to each other. Both are patient. I’ve seen bad girls, and what 10 years of barhopping does to them. It’s sad.

  8. Aram says

    Warren Farrell writes books, that show how the media skew statistics about men and women. I can’t do justice in this short space. Men are 97% of combat fatalities. Men pay 97% of Alimony. Men make 94% of work suicides. Men make up 93% of work fatalities. Men make up 81% of all war deaths. Men lose custody in 84% of divorces. 80% of all suicides are men. 77% of homicide victims are men. 89% of men will be the victim of at least one violent crime. Men are over twice as victimised by strangers as women. Men are 165% more likely to be convicted than women. Men get 63% longer sentences than women for the same crime. Court bias against men is at least 6 times bigger than racial bias. Males are discriminated against in school and University. Boys face vastly more corporal punishment than girls. 60-80% of the homeless are men. Women’s Cancers receive 15 times more funding than men’s. At least 10% of fathers are victims of paternity fraud. One third of all fathers in the USA have lost custody of children, most are expected to pay for this. 40-70% of domestic violence is against men however less than 1% of domestic violence shelter spaces are for men. Men pay over 70% of income tax but the vast majority of public spending is on services for women. There is more money spent on breast cancer than lung cancer and prostate cancer combined, despite the fact that lung cancer alone has 3-4 times more fatalities than breast cancer. A man’s chance of getting cancer is 44% and 23% of men will die from cancer, 38% of women get cancer and 19% die. Yet there is vastly more money spent on cancer for women, this is lethal discrimination.

    Suppose we raised our baby girls to believe that if they are hurt, they shouldn’t cry because nobody would care. Suppose we also told them they would be seen as worthless failures for showing any vulnerability. Suppose we taught them that society measures a woman’s worth in terms of her willingness to sacrifice her own life and happiness to ensure the happiness of her husband and that if her husband is not happy, it is proof she is a failure as a woman.
    Suppose we codified this conditional worth by inventing the conditional term “real woman” to describe a female who lives up to these sexist expectations. Then suppose after making clear our expectation that women exist solely to support men, and that their value is contingent upon doing so, we faulted them for out-earning those we expect them to support.
    Suppose we looked at this perfectly foreseeable result, and decided it is not simply explained by women rising to the unfair expectations foisted upon them, but as proof that the women are in fact oppressing the men that live a life free from such an oppressive expectation. Suppose we used the fact that women are required to earn more against them and considered any women who failed to do so to be a loser unworthy of anything.
    Suppose we denied jobless women benefits but supplied them to men based on the fact that unlike women, men enjoy the luxury of taking cake jobs or not working, and this results in lower pay. Suppose we sent only women off to die in war. Suppose we spent 10 times as much money on prostate cancer despite breast cancer being far more deadly.
    And suppose society held the general attitude that women were society’s plow horses, and we showed complete indifference to their needs, and even made fun of the women who raised the issue, while pretending that every slight annoyance to the privileged life of a man was a huge issue.
    Lastly, suppose everything any one woman was able to complain about was politicized and twisted into an assault on all women. And all of this for the sole reason that men earned less because women were accountable for their support. How many women want to be trash collectors, EOD specialists, to do the really crummy jobs? No, they just want the cream jobs. And to be paid a lot more than men. Women make more than men do now, when you adjust for hours, choice of occupation, taking time off, willingness to do overtime, and so on.

    Men know their situation is getting worse, and worse, and women’s is getting better, and better. In 1920, women outlived men by a year, on average. Now, it is seven years. Know why men die younger? This is a joke men tell. Know why? Because they want to.

    • Holly says

      I’d like to know where some of these statistics come from. Because “Men are over twice as victimized [sic] by strangers as women” and “40-70% of domestic violence is against men” just don’t sound right to me.

  9. David says

    Women got tired of their traditional gender roles, you know, being a mom, raising children, and demanded change. They got it. Now men are tired of their traditional roles. And they are just changing, too. To soyboys, to confirmed bachelors, to PUAs… and women can’t understand why men just want what women wanted. Man-shaming isn’t working any more.

  10. David says

    I knew a postal clerk, in high school. Really nice, very pleasant, I never even knew he was a veteran. I found out later he was a LRRP sniper in Vietnam, which means he went out, by himself, into the jungle, for days at a time. His missions were classified. He carried a Bowie knife on his uniform- he was in the National Guard, which the Army issued to him. One day, the colonel told him he couldn’t wear that, because it wasn’t Army issue. The sergeant corrected him, noting it had been issued by the Army. The colonel asked him what he used such a knife for. The sergeant replied, “Well, in the Nam, I got me a few heads, sir.” The colonel decided he had urgent business elsewhere, and never challenged the sergeant again. He was married. Where would he go to find a woman equal to him? They don’t exist. He was, on the other hand, very pleasant to his wife. He’d seen a lot, and his wife was a large part of his life, what he came home to. I’m sure he’s died of Agent Orange, now. Pity. He was worth a lot. I learned from him. A couple of women graduated the Ranger course, recently. Out of 30 who started out. It’s a tough course, I wouldn’t make it. But they lower the standards for women, in most military courses. They don’t talk about it, but they do. Women cannot handle the high standards, so they complain.

    Men and women balance, and complement each other. They balance each other’s strengths, and weaknesses, and form a team.

  11. Stu says

    Buzzfeed’s 36 questions for men are quite useful.

    36. How does it feel to be the same sex as Donald Trump
    How does it feel to be the same sex as Sarah Palin?

    35. Why do you hate rom-coms?
    Because they suck. I hate The Notebook, and I think that Beyonce’s talent is REALLY overrated. Whitney Houston would own that bitch, back in her younger years. Maybe also because rom-coms are totally unrealistic? Maybe because women actually believe those lies are real, and get upset because it isn’t happening for them in real life? Maybe because men know that if they don’t work hard, and support themselves, they don’t have the safety net women have? Maybe because rom-coms are not how relationships happen, in the USA?

    34. Why do you sit around and make women talk about men in movies, when ya’ll easily just sit around and talk about boobs, for hours?
    Hmm. I cannot recall ever talking for hours about boobs. For the record, I prefer them smaller, since you asked. Maybe you just hang around too many dude-bros in the universities that you so OBVIOUSLY go to. And maybe you are just imagining what men talk about with each other, since you clearly don’t know. And men won’t talk with women like they do with each other.

    33. Why do you automatically assume that you won’t like a TV show or movies starring a female lead?
    What? Who is this talking about? Dude-bros? I don’t care what gender a protagonist of a story is, so long as they are a good character. My favorite game of 2015 starred two female protagonists, which you had the option to make romantic, if you wanted to. I did, but mostly because I thought that Chloe was SO fucking hot. I dig punk girls. It’s a thing. These stereotypes you have of men are kind of funny. Why do you automatically assume this?

    32. Why are you surprised when women are funny?
    What…? Again, who are you talking about here? Citation, please. Women are funny. They think they can throw away their value, till they are 39, and then find a prince. That is uproariously funny. They think they can have kids, without problems, in their 40’s. I’m on the floor laughing. They think that hating on men for 20 years is a great way to be trained for a supportive relationship with a man. I’m hurting as I laugh, now. They think that skinning a man alive, and gutting him out in divorce court, is their right and duty. Stop! I’m laughing too hard! They think that lesbian relationships are free of domestic violence, when they have the most vicious kind. Ha ha ha ha! There, women are clearly funny.

    31. Why do you think we’re so obsessed with you when we hook up?
    So, you’re admitting that you have sex with men for the express purpose of getting your rocks off and couldn’t care less about them as people? That’s telling. I, for one, actually want to know the person I am in bed with. Forgive me if I have questions or thoughts, your grace. And by way, I personally have never slept with a woman I didn’t intend a long term relationship with. I choose not to hook up. It’s too dangerous.

    30. Why can’t I sleep with as many people as I want to without being judged?
    Go ahead. I don’t care, one way or the other. Sleep with whoever you want. I don’t give a tinker’s dam about you, so do what you want. That’s the real equality – apathy. When I don’t give a sailor’s cuss about your sex life anymore than another person’s. You add on that men are congratulated for it. Yeah, until you look at how easy it is for a girl to cry rape if she suddenly decides she doesn’t want it. There was a great point by Mercedes Carrera in a Drunken Peasants episode about that. But please, go ahead. Sleep with so many men you collect the whole set of incurable STD’s. Please also get the tramp stamp that says “Venereal Hazard”. Get the purple hair. Get so infected a man would need a hazmat suit to sleep with you. I don’t care. I’m not going to judge you. I’m going to evade you, so that I don’t even exist in your Universe. I want nothing to do with you.

    29. Why do you consider a woman a tease if she doesn’t sleep with you after three dates, but a slut if she sleeps with you after one?
    Who are the men and where do you find them? Do you just find the first guy at the bar or something and gather research based on one sample? My guess is that the hipster loser who wrote all this for you is just trying to make a point. Badly. I don’t consider a woman a tease if she doesn’t sleep with me after three dates. I don’t date. I think dating is stupid. I just go out to grab a burger with someone and see if things happen. Or at least I used to, before I lost my ability to love after how bad my last relationship ended. Girl has talent. Anyway, this point is stupid. And I don’t sleep with random pickups. Ever. I don’t talk to them, I have nothing to do with them. They are either pathetic losers, or psychopaths. I don’t need either in my life.

    28. In what world does no mean yes?
    I’m gonna let you ladies in on a little something – evil people don’t care if you say no! Although, you social justice types have changed the nature of consent to the point that now, if a woman never says no, and participates in the act of sex in every way, but then suddenly regrets it the next day, then it’s still rape. In what world is that cool? How about this- I say no, to you. I have nothing to do with you. I have never assaulted a woman, ever, and have no intention of ever doing so. One way to achieve that is to avoid stupid women. And that takes some evasion.

  12. Stu says

    27. Why do you say that women are “too emotional” to be leaders, then justify cat-calling by saying that men just can’t control themselves?
    Here’s a term for you to learn, everyone – non-sequitur! In what world does women being leaders in ANY way correlate to men cat-calling? All fucking ears, ladies. I have never cat-called a woman in my life. I just don’t. I was taught MANNERS as a child. Courtesy. It’s a dying art. And as far as ladies being too emotional to be leaders, listen to women complain about female bosses. They HATE them with a passion. Hillary is a leader- she has committed more crimes than any other woman in politics. That is some real progress there. And have we ever had a worse sore loser than her? All kinds of finger pointing, and no self-assessment? Maggie Thatcher, now, we could use more leaders like her. How do we get them? Karen Straughn, Cassie Jaye… how can I vote for them, for leaders?

    26. Why do you think that just because you’re nice to me, I owe you my body?
    What?! Who thinks that way? Again, so much stereotype. I don’t think you owe me anything, you judgmental b..ch. It would be nice if I am nice to you and you are nice back, but I know that you think the Golden Rule doesn’t apply to you. You are a third-wave feminist, after all. I am distantly nice to you ONLY because I was taught to be. And I don’t want to sleep with you, in fact I don’t want to be anywhere near you, now, or ever. I don’t want any skin to skin contact with you, because I’m afraid of what I might catch. This is not polemic; this is “how I feel”. Feelings are important. Thanks for helping me get in touch with my feelings.

    25. Would you EVER send an unsolicited dick-pic?
    Nope. Though I wouldn’t send one anyway. Not that you need to know, but I’m not that proud of what I got… sorry. I don’t want to send anything to you. Nothing. I want no contact with you. I seek out people who wish me well, not those who label me without knowing who I am. Anthony Wiener, well, you know, he ran in Hillary’s crowd, come to think of it.

    24. Why do you think it’s okay to make harassing comments about women, but when it’s your sister, it’s not okay?
    Boy, you do NOT get how poorly my sister and I get along. But that’s beside the point. I don’t make harassing comments about women, and I don’t it’s cool to be a jerk no matter what gender it is. And I have never made harassing comments about women, well, beyond this posting- which is not harassment, it is letting my feelings out, which you seem to enjoy, also. Something that you clearly don’t know, considering that your entire video is predicated on every man hearing this being a complete piece of sh.. And my sister can do more damage to a man foolish enough to make harassing comments to her, than I could, and- and- she’d get away with it, in court, because women get far fewer penalties for the same crimes, in court. Female teachers who slept with boys… sometimes don’t even do time at all. PLUS the boys get to pay child support, if the teacher got pregnant. What’s that about?

    23. How does it feel to interrupt me when I’m in the middle of making a point at a meeting?
    Never been at a meeting before. For real, I’ve never worked for a company that has a meeting. Though, I can think that if I am at a meeting, I wouldn’t interrupt anybody. I would wait for them to finish talking, and interject if I feel that I have something to add to the conversation. It’s called courtesy. Heard of it, Ms. Let’s Demonize Men.

  13. Stu says

    22. Why do you have to sit with your legs so wide open? I get that you have balls, but I don’t stand around with my arms wide open for my boobs.
    Why do you have to walk around in your Lulu lemons, that clearly define your camel toe? Why do you walk around without a bra?

    Try having balls for a while and tell me how comfortable it is with your legs shoved together. By the way, I only sit with my legs far apart when I know there is enough space. If someone needs some space, I move. That’s called courtesy. Something you wouldn’t know thing 1 about. Do you think that every guy on the metro or a bus is just sitting with his legs as open as possible? Yeah, because no woman has EVER put her bags in the seats next to her. Nope. Not to mention, Your arms don’t directly close around your boobs. They are to the side of them. Closing them around your boobs sounds kind of uncomfortable. Our legs, on the other hand, do close around our balls when we sit. This comparison is retarded. Do be asking men this question, often, though, so they have warning of how totally dysfunctional you are. That is a real courtesy.

    21. Why are women perceived as the weaker sex?
    Citation, please. I mean, I do believe that there are real differences between men and women. It’s science, after all. But I don’t think that women are weak just because they are women. Same as I don’t think guys are tough because they are men. But the female physical requirements, in the military, are less than they are for men. Men and women have different qualities. My wife freaks out when she sees a spider. I pick up the spider, and put it outside. Problem solved. And of course we live in a country that caters to women legally, socially, and in many other ways. Count the homeless women on the streets, in winter. There aren’t any. They were all sheltered. Why do feminists fight domestic violence shelters for men, if we’re all equal? Oh, they have a political agenda. And women PRESENT themselves as the weaker sex, when they want new concessions.

    20. Why is it so bad to show your emotions?
    I AM MAN! I EAT MEAT AND PUNCH WOMEN AND SHOW NO EMOTION! BECAUSE EMOTION IS FOR FAGGOTS! *punches woman* There, was that stereotypical enough for you? Maybe because men who show emotions are perceived as weak? Maybe because nobody cares about men’s emotions? Maybe because women, who talk much, do what they do, not what they say, and prefer the strong, silent, alpha male, who conceals his emotions? Maybe because after 22 years of schooling where *nobody* cared about how men feel, men realize that, check this out, nobody cares how men feel? Maybe because after you really, really hurt and insult us, we aren’t going to give you the satisfaction of showing how much you hurt us? Maybe because, as men, we have had to set aside our feelings, so often, to get the job done? Maybe because men do over 90% of the dying, in wars? Maybe because men have far more crimes committed against them than women do? Maybe because women misinterpret any show of emotion, as sexual harassment? Maybe because we’ve learned to evade showing our true feelings, because women ridicule men who show their emotions?

  14. Stu says

    19. Why are you always trying to prove your masculinity to me?
    What? Citation, please. In what way am I trying to prove my masculinity? or this this a typical feminist opinion, that has no facts behind it? I’m not trying to prove anything to you. I just want to evade women like you, so I can get on with my life. Women attract the men they deserve- this is called frequency entrainment, sometimes. You must be horribly immature, lacking so much confidence, that you attract such horribly immature, unconfident men. Your universe reflects your dominant thoughts back to you, as events. What are you trying to prove?

    18. Why the f… isn’t it lady-like to cuss?
    My current closest lady-friend swears like a sailor. Especially when she calls me up when she’s blitzed. I love that. I learned to swear the way I do from my mother. Thanks, mom! I love you! Umm, gosh, maybe this is a bad habit that both men and women could avoid? I don’t cuss around women. And, let’s see, women who cuss clearly have some emotional issues… and need to be avoided. And since when did you, a third wave feminist, about being lady-like? Huh? This would be like Hillary saying she wanted to retire to bake cookies.

    17. Why is it your first instinct to doubt women who are sexually violated or raped?
    Are you f…ing kidding ME?! Wow. I do take this sort of thing VERY seriously. However, unlike the university that you so obviously never left, I don’t believe that it should be guilty until proven innocent. I believe that it should be investigated, and the police should be involved. And when all the evidence is gathered, then we can have a trial and prove guilt or innocence. Kind of like what the Constitution implies. If believing that accused sexual predators or rapists should get a fair trial is distrust or belief that you’re lying, then so be it. Forgive me for believing that the law should mean something. My bad. And false accusions are many. An Air Force study, of women who claimed rape, and were told they’d have to be on a lie detector, noted that 28% of the claimants decided not to continue. I had a mother, I have a wife, I have two daughters. Real rapists need to be tried, and jailed, kind of like what the law says. And female teachers who rape boys need also to be jailed. ANd women who divorcerape men… since that is what it feels like- having your wallet ripped out through your heart- no, i won’t say it, it’s too close to cussing. During the Civil War, there were Southern women who claimed rape by Yankee soldiers. The soldiers were hung on a gallows. Years later, the women admitted they had lied. Oh, gosh, women tell lies? I can’t believe it. But I have an easy solution. I scan your energy before I even talk to you. if your energy doesn’t feel good, I have nothing to do with you, ever. I cloud my face, to your perception, and evade you. Because any woman willing to lie in court is not worth having anything to do with, now, or ever.

    16. Why do you assume that woman’s angry because she’s on her period?
    I don’t. But, let’s be honest, women do often get piss-y when they are. Stereotypes exist for a reason. That isn’t all the time, or even most of it, but it is a factor. Let’s just be honest about that. And, maybe, like, repeat personal experience has something to do with it?

    15. Why do you think that women who wear makeup are false-advertising?
    Aforementioned lady-friend shows off her makeup to me in pics all the time. Girl has talent. Maybe, instead of lumping all men together in the dude-bro category, you could not just make really stupid assumptions about me? Oh, wait, that’s too much, for a third wave feminist. I considered buying a used car, once. I noticed where some repairs had been painted over, which clearly indicated repair from a wreck. Was that false advertising? Women who wear make-up are putting toxic chemicals on their skin, where it is absorbed into their bloodstream. They are false-advertising, because they don’t have a sign that says, “Danger, Toxic Waste Dump”, around their necks.

  15. Stu says

    14. Why isn’t it weird that there is a room full of white men that are making decisions about what I can and can’t do with my body?
    Because not very many women run for public office. You want to affect the way the government deals with women’s issues? Cool. Run for office. Get in the House or the Senate. Although, then you have to play the political game. You could run populist like Bernie Sanders, but see, he has a lifetime of being in office and fighting for what he believes is right. You have making videos on Buzzfeed. Good luck. Oh, and forgive me for putting the onus of why there are not more women in office on women. I know, how sexist of me. Believing that women are capable of doing great things like being in government. I’m such a misogynist. I personally don’t care what you do with your body. How many million unborn have been murdered in abortion clinics, anyway… apparently nobody cares what you do with their bodies, either. More babies have been aborted in the USA than Jews killed in Nazi Germany. And it’s all ok. This is how the Nazis started, by way. They killed off the feeble-minded, they put gays in concentration camps- and killed quite a few gays, by way, in the night of the long knives. And the problem grew. In Holland, they kill old people in hospitals, which means old people avoid going to hospitals. It’s ok, they’re old, they don’t need to consume resources. And, really, what white men are telling you what you can do with your body? You sleep with any bad boy you wish, you disfigure it with tramp stamps, you die your hair green, you put in lip rings; has anyone told you that you couldn’t do this? WHat the heck are you talking about, anyway?

    13. Why are straight guys so obsessed with lesbians?
    Why are straight women so obsessed with gay men? And I’m talking about the flaming queens here. There are some closed access Red Pill groups on the web that talk about how to seduce lesbians, for those men who like that offbeat path. I remember a number of “lesbian until graduation” women in college, who cleaned up their act, to seek out husbands. Maybe it’s because men looking at porn don’t like looking at men, and with lesbians you get not one, but two women? I don’t know. But most straight guys I know avoid lesbians like the plague, because they tend to be vicious. I have gotten them talking, here and there, and, like many feminists, they apparently had a lot of violence done to them, when they were young. Though I don’t know, and wouldn’t presume to offer judgment on this. And the women who like gay men… maybe it’s because women love a challenge, they think they can reform men, so they take on something like that. Interesting question.

  16. Stu says

    12. How does it feel to get kicked in the balls?
    How does it feel to get punched in the tits, as hard as humanly possible? You might get some idea then.

    11. You ever get tired of trying to be manly all the time?
    How am I trying to be manly all the time? I’m just being me. I don’t care if I’m manly or not. I yam who I yam, and that’s all that I yam. Who are these men that you believe are trying to constantly prove their manliness? Again, dude-bros? Yeah, this proves that all of you are just in some liberal arts college, because out in the real world, there are all kinds. Most men I know keep a low profile, for their safety.

    10. Why are you so afraid of gender equality?
    Hello, Strawman Stereotypical Guy. I didn’t know you’d be here today. Real gender equality would mean no more alimony. it would mean men getting custody of the kids 50% of the time, in divorce courts. It would men women doing 50% of the really dirty jobs- mining, trash handling, skyscraper construction, you know, the jobs where men get killed, regularly. It would mean that women constantly taking sick leave at work would be told to show up as often as men do. It would mean that female teachers who molest boys would do, like, real time in jail. It would mean that women did teh same jail time, for the same crimes, as men. A real list would be 50 pages long. I’m all in favor of real, genuine gender equality. The genuine thing. But you wouldn’t like it.

    9. Why do I deserve to be paid less than you?
    You’re not. When you look at actual hours worked, and danger in a job, women make more than men do. And since companies have to hire women, who are harder to find, they have to pay the women more. If this argument was real, companies would fire all their male employees, and just have women. I just applied for something really awesome today. It is a high-paying job that is boring as fuck, which I think makes me a shoe-in for it. Boring jobs are the ones that people don’t want. I think I’m really qualified for it, so I am stoked. But yeah, this wage gap that you all bring up is a myth. The whole .77 on the dollar is bullshit, because it only factors man and woman and the money they get. There are other factors. Like the fact that women don’t get into the STEM fields as much as men. And before you make the argument about sexism there, look up Mercedes Carrera’s channel on YouTube. She made a great video about #TakeBacktheTech. That puts all your bullshit into perspective. You don’t deserve to make as much as a brain surgeon. Sorry, Toots. I saw a female owner of a tech company, from Eastern Europe, now in the USA. She said that she quit hiring female coders. They never show up to work, the work they do get done is inferior, they are constantly asking for time off, they take long breaks, and are generally far less productive. A WOMAN said this. I can’t speak for all women, of course, but this is an interesting data point.

    8. In what world does 77 cents equal a dollar?
    I just called out that BS, so let’s keep going. No, let’s not. When you look at what women get from the state, and society, vs. what men get, women get DOUBLE what men get. How many men are on welfare, for the difficult job of raising drug dealers? See the book, Freakonomics- chapter entitled, “Why do so many drug dealers live with their mothers?” And men pay for this.

    7. In what world does 68 cents equal a dollar? Which is it? 77, 68? You can’t seem to figure out which?

  17. Stu says

    6. How is that fair?
    Those factors are based around statistics that just factored in – men, women. There are a TON of variables to consider. Like women who go on maternity leave. The fact that women, statistically, work less hours than men. The fact that women often have families. The fact that women who do go into STEM fields often go into specialty ones. Like women who become doctors going into family medicine rather than neurosurgery. This statistic you give is BS. Stop trying to shame men for the fact that women don’t take the initiative. Part of that is on you. After all, you tell women how uninviting and sexist the STEM fields are, would they want to go in it . Again, look at Mercedes’ video about it. It’s mind-boggling how ignorant these people are.

    5. Why are you intimidated by a woman who makes more money than you?
    I’m not. There are plenty of them. My mother has worked as a secretary in the school district for almost my entire life. She make a damn good salary, and she’s earned it. What makes you think that I think a woman making more money than me is intimidating? I think that the fact that Kim Kardashian makes a shit-ton of money for her giant, fake a.. is bullshit, but then I remember the country she lives in, and it all makes sense. There is the thing that women who make more money than I do think I’m inferior, too.

    4. Why are opinionated women perceived as bitches?
    That depends on how they carry themselves. Are they rude and unable to be talked to in a civilized manner? (I’m looking at you, Big Red) Then yeah, I see that woman as a bitch. Intelligent women with considered opinions are a joy. So I don’t think that women are bitchy because they have opinions. I think women who are rude for no reason and won’t listen to other people’s opinions are bitches

    3. Why aren’t you speaking up when you hear your friends, behind closed doors, making jokes that are offensive to women?
    I had a lady-friend who made this funny joke to a chick who was mad at her, “oh, go put your tampon back in, bitch!” She made that joke to the woman’s face. She also make a joke to me that women can’t be Presidents because they would be bombing other countries a few days every month. What should I have said to her? And most men I know don’t do that. They don’t have the time. They have full time jobs, and other responsibilities. Teenage boys may do this, but then, teenage girls do this too.

    2. Why are you so afraid of recognizing your own privilege?
    What privilege? Female privilege outweighs anything I have. The fact that you have an illusion in your mind, which is not based in reality, is something I do recognize.

    This was basically – let’s find the most offensive stereotypes about men and ask them about it, by Buzzfeed. There was a great video about this company, and I think I’ll close out on a quote from that.

    Until next time, a quote,

    “So that’s Buzzfeed. Probably the most corrupt and horrifying fake-news company on the planet. Buzzfeed – fake news that you think is real!” – “Jonah Peretti”, If Buzzfeed Were 100% Honest With Us

    I do want to ask women questions, though: why do you think you can indulge in remarkably bad energy, for years, resentment, hatred, mostly based on false stereotypes, and then convince a man that you are worth rolling the dice on, in marriage? Why do you think you can take a 15 year old car, all dinged up, with 150,000 on the odometer, and sell it at the new price, metaphorically? Why do you think that dumping on men, making lying accusations, is going to improve anything? Why do you think venereal diseases are nothing to worry about? Why do you think running the hate frequency through your being is in any way attractive to men? Why do you think there is a prince out there, waiting to lavish energy, money, houses, cars, jewelry, and so on, on you? Why do you think that dumping on men, for years, is in any way going to help you or anyone else? Why do you think repeating false stereotypes does anything useful? Why do you think that, at 42, you can find a man willing to make babies with you, and take the risk of losing half his assets, AND half his income, 70% of the time?

    • Enough says

      Astute reply/replies. Hopefully some of this sinks in with those who are unaware of the perspective men *actually* wield as it pertains the current state of things between the sexes. The closing paragraph above sums up that perspective rather well.

      • Dave says

        I raised a daughter. I got custody when she was small. She would tell me, “never mind, daddy, I can do it by myself!”. And she did. Only rarely did I have to give guidance. She got into a great college, on good financial aid. She finished on time. She learned discretion, i.e. not saying stupid things. She dumped a boyfriend she found out was an abuser- before the kids came along. She found another great guy. She has her own children now, in a committed relationship. I expected her to be intelligent, and to make good choices. She did. Her mother is totally nuts. In the old days, she’d have been in an asylum. Instead, she goes from homeless shelter to homeless shelter, very paranoid. Many women who are very successful attribute their success to their fathers, as many men who are successful cite their mothers as very influential. Obviously children learn from both parents. What happens to women, whose fathers aren’t allowed to be around? They lose out. Smart men know not only to meet the woman’s mother, and also to check out her relationship with her father. If she doesn’t have a good relationship with her father, this means she won’t create a good relationship with a man- unless she is very, very aware, and has cleaned out her psyche.

        Becoming spiritually aware starts with respect. One examines one’s pain, deals with it, and doesn’t pass it on, to other people. So many people in our culture now can’t seem to master this basic step. Part of respect is staying away from people with unresolved psych issues, because they are dangerous. We seem to have more and more of them. Indigenous cultures worldwide would shun people who were sociopaths, until they improved, or starved. The Windigo concept among Ojibwa peoples may be based on sociopaths drummed out of the community, who had to wander, alone. In our culture, we honor sociopaths, like the feminists who issue language that matches the definition of hate speech.

        It can feel hopeless. Yet all real change happens person to person, one on one. One act of kindness can change someone’s life forever. No matter how useless this seems, in our poisonous mass media, continue to do those small kindnesses. It sends concentric rings of kindness you cannot imagine.

  18. david says

    Let us recall, that the goal of this website is to foster and encourage committed relationships in marriage. Doing so, metaphorically, requires restoration of healthy flow. Kind of like flushing out a hose, of the built up dirt and spider webs. In that sense, what I see here is useful.

  19. Joseph says

    When I was in the Army, we were trained to do a job. This was our role. Once trained, we practiced- in role. We became a team. We did our jobs well- because …EACH…PERSON…KNEW…THEIR…ROLE, and worked together as part of a team. You can throw troops together, that never trained together, and have no idea what their role is. The military term for this is “Clusterf..k”. Clusters, like this, occur when the Situation is Normal, All Fouled Up. (SNAFU), or if worse, Things Are Really Fouled Up, (TARFU), and if really bad, Fouled Up Beyond All Recognition (FUBAR). Gender relations in this country have reached the FUBAR state.

    My mother, who was of the WW II generation, grieved my dad’s passing. She connected with a college boyfriend, a WW II vet. He was three times divorced. She worried so much about how it would look, if she remarried, a year after my father passed on. Her children said, “Mom, you are 79. **GET ON THE TRAIN**, go see the guy. If he’s ok, YOU HAVE OUR STRONG ENCOURAGEMENT to get married again. In fact, we’ll drive you there, if we have to. DO IT.” So she went. They got married. We had the joy of seeing my mother happy, for five years, before she descended into Alzheimers. She’d have been gone 2 years after dad passed on, without that guy, if that. She was really bad off.

    Here’s the thing. Each of them knew their role, each of them saw that they would get something good out of being married. And they had five years of happiness, plus some time into her Alzheimers, where she still had some mind.

    Men know their role, now. 50 meter target on the firing range. It’s not just small arms, it is recoilless rifles, napalm, HE, mortars, howitzers, and everything else society can drop on them. Through the magic of welfare, they get to pay child support for children they never fathered. The media is full of insults for men.

    Nice story, about my mom. Boomer ladies aren’t going to see it, much. Divorced boomer men are largely not interested. Talk to someone who works in senior housing. They are 95% female. Even the men there don’t have much interest. It is fascinating to see these women fighting over the few men who are open to relationships. Senior housing is a lot like high school, the same kinds of cliques form.

    What is the take-away here? Respect counts for a lot. A man who meets disrespect, disengages. He’s gone. I knew a woman in a project, who saw that the boys didn’t have activities, so they were getting in trouble. She found 2 veterans, willing to run a Boy Scout troop- but she had to be present at every meeting, at all times. They had to have a witness present.

    There is a season… for everything. I have seen women in colleges, in their late 30’s, with the baby rabies. But they can’t seem to find a coherent male, to help them in this quest.

  20. Daniel says

    There is a Mexican Telenovela, called Rubi [Ruby]. It was originally made in the 1960s. It was remade about five years ago, with Barbari Mori in the starring role. It reached deep, deep into archetypes. The lead character, Rubi, was angry at the world. Instead of marrying the man she loved, she married the rich guy, taking him away from his wife. There was all kinds of conflict, of course. Rubi was repeatedly warned by a male psychic, and of course she didn’t listen. Good people aren’t as interesting, sometimes, they aren’t as conflicted. Rubi ends up losing it all. Her husband dies, because she messed with his head, so much. She loses all of her money. She loses her beauty. She loses the one guy she loved- the woman she cheated out of a husband, got hitched to him. It was of course all fiction, but it was better played than any American movie I’ve seen in the last 20 years. Telenovelas are hollywoodized, but they are usually written very, very well. And they can be educational. In this case, Spanish speaking women get education in what works, in relationships, and what doesn’t. Barbara Mori was so good in the role, she went to Bollywood. Hispanic women know there are cruel men, and that life has pain. They know very well that they would like to have their babies. And they watch telenovelas. They want to see the malas- the bad women- get it in the end, and the buenas- the good women- succeed. They want to believe that happens in life. Hispanic women love their children, deeply. Hispanic men have their faults, but most of them are deeply family oriented. There are more Hispanics in this country now than black people. We will see more and more Hispanics. They reproduce, and they work hard. Very hard. I am married to a Hispanic woman. She is light years better than the Anglo women I was with, before. She has faults. And they are tiny. My Spanish isn’t great, so I read the English language coverage of telenovelas, at the Russian websites. Telenovelas are very popular, in many countries, because they have truth that resonates, for many women, and even some men. In the USA, we have a toxic media, that puts out some extremely inaccurate information. I look forward to a Hispanic USA. The Indians are getting the country back. All you have to look at is birth rates, to know this will happen. The Narconovelas, by way, are toxic, with toxic images. The best telenovelas play at night, during prime time.

    Those who spread hatred, and resentment, plant a crop with a bad harvest. That is feminists. Those who plant a crop of respect, kindness, service, and achievements, plant a crop with a rich harvest.

  21. Jim says

    A woman’s girlfriend says “he’s just intimidated by your success.”, to her. That’s a wonderful face saving way to explain problems finding a good man. Let’s imagine a woman, who owns her own home. On the third date, she invites him to her house. He notices the 5 bathrooms, circular driveway, two acre lot. He tells her after a few minutes, on her $5,000 sofa, “you know, it would be better if we just quit seeing each other. I’m not the right guy for you.” This is not intimidation. It is a man, who knows that women already have more power than men do, in relationships. Go to divorce court, talk to cops. Men are already putting their heads on the chopping block, in marriage. Now, we have a woman who makes more money than the man does, has a more prestigious job, and she has the house. The homeowner has the power, whoever it is. No man wants to be on the receiving end of “If you don’t like it, you can get out of MY house.” Women are touch enough as it is, getting moods, blowing up over small things. They already have the power, just by being women. Add in this. Self-respecting men don’t like lying down on the guillotine, and seeing that blade, just sitting there, waiting to fall. And remember, women are not rational, as a rule- not by men’s standards. Men can’t say this, either, they’d lose face. So they just break it off. Let’s add in that she has kids. Maybe the son is a jerk. He steals stuff from the husband, to sell to buy drugs (I have a friend in this situation). Mom defends the son, and the son can smirk, and say, “You’re not my real dad.” Teenage males desperately need to find out early that actions have consequences. When I was young, if a 13 year old boy mouthed off, an older male relative, usually the father, would pick him up one handed, by the neck, against a wall, and say, “Don’t do that again.” That was enough, usually. Nowadays, we let the criminal justice system deal with it, at much higher cost. What man wants to deal with someone else’s kids? Or maybe there’s a daughter. She says to the guy, “I want an allowance of $200/week, and a car. If you don’t do it, I will tell my teacher you touched me.” What defense does the guy have? Zero. The only rational response is to move out that day, and never return. Women say, “Just believe the woman.” That is exactly how lynch mobs worked, they believed the accuser, and took revenge. What man wants to be around the lynch mobs courts have turned into? Feminists say they want to help women. How does lynching innocents help women?

  22. Russ says

    When feminists talk about equality what they mean is androgyny. Feminism is a man-hating cult that’s at war with biological reality and uses the word equality for cover. They are using cultural force (affirmative action, lessening and elimination of qualifications, endless funding and propaganda) to convince women of the lie that they are as capable as men (plus being special as women) and that men are redundant, unspecial, and oppressive. Too many women (even Conservative women) are willing to accept at least some of this misandric nonsense and would be happy to “allow” men to continue to be chivalrous to women with no mention of why; no mention of male biological advantages, truths about masculinity, or of sex differences at all. In short women today want to be respected as men, but still treated as women. What recognition or credit do men receive (as men) in this new dynamic? Nothing.

  23. Andres says

    When I was a kid, my brother and I would take a battery, of any kind. We would connect the negative pole to the positive pole. A satisfying zap! would occur, and the battery was now equalized, and had no charge.

    Exactly the same thing is happening in American society. There is very little charge between men and women any more. There are all kinds of evolutionary dead ends, in history. Feminism is doing all it can, to ensure that the American experiment becomes a dead end. Pity.

  24. Odemakwa says

    The same attitude exists in other native American commu­nities. On the Crow Reservation across the state in eastern Montana, for example, the strength of the tribe’s clan system ensures that children are never ignored. According to Carlene Old Elk, head of the General Studies Department at Little Big Horn College, all Crows are members of a clan, of which there are currently seven. Viewed almost at one large family, the clan provides support to its members and connection to the larger community.
    In this ancient system, child rearing becomes a tribal responsibility. “Through the clan system children have the opportunity to have many people involved in their upbring­ing,” Old Elk said. “The support system is there, intact, and involves many people in the life of the child.”

    This connection to the tribe is reinforced by including chil­dren in all community events. It is never expected that a child will be left behind with a baby sitter. “Children are included in everything from infancy on,” said Old Elk. “They go to all social functions, all political functions, they’re a part of the scene.” The result within the Salish, Crow and other tribal cultures is the creation of societies that cherish their young and have a place for the old. Children are given the security and a sense of belonging that some observers of American society now fear is being lost in the nation. Meanwhile, elders remain a vital part of the family, share in the task of child rearing and are a respected part of tribal leadership.

    Clarence Woodcock’s life and the continued importance of the Crow clan system provide evidence that tradi­tional family beliefs remain strong. Despite centuries of contact with an increasingly dominant western culture, many native American societies retain their distinctly different beliefs about the role of elders and the place for children. But tremendous stresses have also been placed on the native American family over the centuries. Attempts to assimilate Indians, for example, often meant the separation of children, sometimes at a very young age, from their homes and families. Sent to boarding schools, many were encouraged to abandon their Indian heritage.

    Even today, the influence of the dominant western culture is being felt. Clarence Woodcock, for example, sees evidence that respect for elders is not as strong as it once was and that, increasingly, the focus is on nuclear families.

    But these changes also reflect larger social forces within Indian societies. Many native American leaders interviewed are worried that traditional family values are being lost, ignored or simply buried under the weight of so many social burdens, including poverty, alcoholism, and isolation. As a result, there is evidence that connections between the genera­tions are weakening and that both the young and the old are being pushed to the edges of their communities.

    Concern is especially great for the children. A growing number of native Americans are growing up in single parent homes or live transient lives and do not have the support and reassurance that an extended family can provide. For them there is no easy initiation into their cultural heritage or daily contact with grandparents and other relatives.

    Sam Azure sees the impact of this family fragmentation. As principal of an elementary school run by United Tribes Technical College in Bismarck, North Dakota, he sees the needs of both the children and their parents, who are nearly all students at the college. He praised the students for their deter­mination to continue their education, but he also recognized the burdens they face as young parents.

    Living away from their homes and, frequently, struggling to get off welfare, parents have a difficult time providing a secure and stable home life for their children. “The extended family is present,” said Azure, “but it’s not as powerful at is used to be.” As a result, young parents and young children are increasingly left to fend for themselves. For the college, and all of native American society, the task is ensure that traditional roles are reaffirmed and, when neces­sary, rebuilt.

    In traditional societies, the family is much more than a col­lection to related individuals. It is a key—perhaps the key—social, economic and political institution. Through the family, children are raised and educated, social relation­ships are determined and leadership is acknowledged. In this way, the society and the family work to strengthen each other. It is inevitable, then, that a disruption in the society will have an impact on the family. But by the same token, the fami­ly can also be the route by which all of native American society is strengthened. By working to make the family healthy, all of society remains strong and each individual—including the young and old—has a vital role to play.

    The effort in native American society is, then, not to replace the family with a series of tribal and government ser­vices, but to use these institutions to support families. Tribally controlled colleges and other institutions that have succeeded in Indian communities have done so in part because they rec­ognized and reinforced family values and the needs of all gen­erations.

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